Alrighty then. You've all seen that I am not a nice person when it comes to her.
A comment of WOW was left and I assumed because I said I did not like my stepdaughter, out loud and for all to see/hear.
That was my concern when writing all this but you know what? I give up. After 30+ years of dealing with her, I have come to the conclusion that it is her, not me. I can live with whatever anyone thinks.
But it sure as hell helped to have ya'll here to vent while in the thick of it all.
Thank you.
I came to my office this morning and it was quiet. On their last day the 3 boys and I took Izzy down to the park she and I like to roam around. They ran Izzy around and exhausted her. When we got back to the house she was back in her yelling at the boys mode. Which I might add is all the communication she has with them. Telling them to do things she never did all week. Telling them to fetch things because she won't leave her seat.
The boys as I have said were absolutely great kids.
So when she was yelling. I asked her if she brought down her glasses from her bedroom. She said, "No they can bring me mine too."
I was already sitting on my steps so Ryan couldn't get past me and I said, "I am the parental figure here right?" Everyone nodded. I said, "Amanda, I am telling you to let it go. I am giving them a break here. The boys have helped me immensely this morning with all the sheets etc. upstairs and with the breakfast dishes. Their room was clean and they may have left a water bottle on the nightstand which I will get later when I remake beds."
She began screaming that it was their job. I said, "you're correct, boys you know that you have to do what your stepmom and dad say all the time right? But Amanda you didn't even bring your own dishes or glasses down. That was your job. So I am overruling everyone here. I am being your parental figure Amanda and their grandparent figure and telling you both that I want Ryan to be done with chores. He's done enough today and in fact all week. If I can't spoil them then who can? You know the saying, Grandma's house, her rules. " And I winked at the boys. "It's their last morning here, let's all just relax and enjoy."
She said, "fine" Her husband and Rick laughed. The little one hugged me tightly again.
The boys shared with me at the park that she yells all the time. Just yells.
I, not wanting to be in the middle of this said, I'm sure it's not all the time but she's just not used to having children around.
They rolled their eyes and I laughed. The little one said, "you said you didn't have any kids but you don't yell, you talk normally"
I said that everyone handles things differently, maybe you need to talk to your dad about this. Then the subject was changed. Whew.
In other fun news.
Rick postponed his shoulder surgery until we get this tophi gout dealt with. Because the drugs he needs will not be allowed to be taken prior to surgery.
He had a cortisone type shot in his SI joint Friday. So that helped and he was able to move by evening. But Rick's life of drinking is over with this gout.
No more beer, period. Which he doesn't even drink that often. He likes wine and rum and tequila. But until this is under control he can't have anything. They say he can have 1 or 2 drinks every now and then. So looks like I'll be an official wino. I will be drinking alone. It's only a problem if you think it's a problem right?...tee hee
12 comments:
So they are gone? I can't imagine being with a yeller for that many days yikes!
Yes, 8 days are over. When her husband cheated on her he mentioned how poorly she treats his boys. When she was crying and telling me this I had never seen her around them except one time at their house for a short visit and we went and got ice cream and it was all short and sweet. And of course then the wedding. Now I saw what he meant.
I'm not a yeller so I don't get that. Besides after a while I think the kids tune it out. So when you speak softly to them they listen. :-)
Ol' Amanda has issues. She's apparently got a long string of people enabling her shit behavior. What you & Rick did was a good way of handling it, but her husband has to step it up too. I can understand his stepping out on her too - she's such a cold, privileged, self entitled snot, it's amazing he's still with her. Glad you were able to enjoy the kids at least. If she ever visits again, I'd have her bring her own damn food, AND wine.
BikinFool - Brian I couldn't agree more with you.
At first I was worried how Rick was going to deal with her husband since he hasn't seen him since he cheated. About the 3rd day as we are crawling into bed he said, "I get why he did that. Not that it makes it right but she is so cold that I can't imagine anyone tolerating that."
But I had 8 days to get to know these boys who I just loved spending time with. They were smart, articulate, funny and nice. The oldest 2 17 and 16 talked about the economy of Turkey and what was going on there like they were college economic majors. Rick and I loved talking to them. Then we'd ask them what they thought of the presidential election. Very interesting from their generational perspective. So there was good buried in that bad. I just blog the bad because it helps me vent or I'd be stress eating and would weigh 180lbs if I didn't blog it. And we don't need that!! :-)
That's the problem with leaving a short comment. It can be interpreted too many different ways. The wow was about your stepdaughter, not you. You lasted eight days? WOW!
No problem Mike. I figured lots would say that I was a horrible person for saying that.
Guess that's my own guilt Mike that my mind went there. I feel badly even after this awful visit that I feel this way. I love my step mom. I was hoping she and I could be close like that. But...
It hurts my heart to hear about her. I know you are not exaggerating because my DIL is like that too. My son's son has come to town to get away from her. Her son has also gone to live with another relative. So far the little girls haven't taken the brunt of her do this, do that. The future will be here soon enough.
" I figured lots would say that I was a horrible person for saying that."
I can't imagine anyone but a horrible person suggesting that you're wrong for your feelings and thoughts about this person. Blech. I wonder how she even lives with herself! I bet there are days when she wants to escape from being who she is.
What an awful person.
Good that you were able to spend some decent time with the kids. They need to see sanity.
I was sure the Wow comment was about her and not you, it's silly to feel guilty when you are absolutely right and you did everything to make the best out of the whole situation.
And Rick is lucky to have you, I hope he'll recover soon from his health problems.
I forgot to send you hugs! :D
Barbara, I'm sorry you have to go through this. But more importantly I am sorry for the children. Why do these types have kids anyway? It is okay to not have children. Sometimes it is the better thing to do. I love kids. As my blog has shown I was a big sister when I was in my 30's for a young girl who's family was scary at best. I adored her. I would have adopted her too. Puppies and kids are the two things I would always bring home. My husband points that out all the time. We considered fostering at one time but then my job had me traveling too much. He said it was good because I take in all strays and will never let them go. He has a point there.
Ami, kids can be just the thing one needs and didn't know it. The honesty,the lack of pretense, just being a kid and forgetting all the shit around me. It was all good with them.
Alessandra - yeah, I deal with guilt a lot. It's hard for me to break. I feel guilty about all kinds of things and Rick is always telling me to let it go. I know I need to work on that.
Post a Comment