I saw this article online here.
It lists the top 37 things one should do before they get old.
I very much agree with all on this list.
Especially the one about regret.
I was 31 when I met this woman at a brand new job.
She asked me if I was married on the very first day. I told her I was not.
She then went on to ask, "Have you ever been married?"
I just met this woman for Pete's sake and I thought that was a bit nosey but I answered her. "Yes I married my high school sweatheart and when we grew up we went in different directions"
Being the dumb ass she apparently was she asked, "So you are divorced already at 31?"
I nodded. I heard all her judgement. I wanted to slap her but I just nodded.
Then she said to me, "I bet you regret that marriage now don't you?"
C'mon who says that to someone they just met?
I couldn't believe this woman to be honest, but if she was going to be this friggin' nosy I was going to be honest with her. I told her, "NO, I don't regret a minute of it. He's a nice man. I'm a nice woman. We just shouldn't have gotten married so young just like my parents told us. I think I learned a lot and we had 10 great years together (ok great were only 8) and I adore his family and still see them. We just shouldn't be married to one another we wanted different things in life"
She gasped. I went on to tell her, " I have never regretted anything I've done only the things I didn't do." (like slap you, you nosy shit you)
I walked away.
When I told Rick this story years later he asked why I never asked her if she was married or divorced or something along her lines of questioning and be nosy with her. Frankly I just didn't give a shit about her enough to ask.
But it's all true. I was with that man from age 17 to 27. Too damn young.
Too damn young to only have one boyfriend.
I got married at age 23. Too damn young.
I hadn't lived enough. We didn't want the same things once we grew up. So there ya go.
It works for a lot of people but it didn't for me being that young.
But it did make me know what I did want and how I wasn't compromising what I wanted anymore. It made me realize what kind of partner I wanted in life. It made me make better decisions for myself. It allowed me to see what I would and wouldn't tolerate. I learned a lot. Sure it was painful. Sure it was difficult to go back to school at age 27. All of that.
But ya know what? I picked good this time!!
He may have the same first name as the first guy but this man is the keeper!
I wonder if I would have seen how great he was when I was younger? Probably not.
Am I proud to have a divorce under my belt? Not really but I'm not ashamed either.
It is what it is. It made me who I am.
When we are young we sometimes make some dumb ass mistakes.
Hell we can do that when we are older too.
But if you learn something from it all the journey ain't so bad really.
8 comments:
I did the same thing, married too young, figured out what I did want and what I DID NOT WANT and made darn sure to make better choices the second time around.
I didn't marry too young, I just thought I was getting too old. So, I married the only man who seemed interested though I had spent eight years telling him he was nice but we could never be more than friends. It lasted two years, and one of them was apart of the mandatory year of separation.
i, like you, only regret the things i didnt do.
also, im forever thankful, that by some crazy stroke of luck, i got married young but still like the person i married. maybe we grew together?
Tammie,Happy to see you around these parts old friend!
You and Jay seem to be perfect together as I see it. You both were meant to be and it seems you are the ones I said in my post that it works for. I do everything the hard way.
Tina, that is interesting and I have so many questions but not appropriate for this forum. Maybe over wine. :-)
Cora, you and I seem to learn things the hard way. :-)
I married too young also. But we are both too stubborn to make it end haha. I've had many occassions of telling him to leave but he wouldn't go so we just work it out. Sometimes I wonder how things would/could be different but I look around and we have a better relationship than a lot of people I know so I think sometimes we just think the grass might be greener on the other side only to get there and it's all just weeds. (obviously this doesn't apply to you just myself lol)
Julie, we all have our own journey - whatever works for you works. :-)
Post a Comment