Come On, Bone Density? Really?

It started off like a typical morning.
At 4:45a I am walking around the neighbor hood groggy with bed head. Saw a few other neighbors who wave as they look away because they too haven't brushed their teeth and don't wish to make actual eye contact.  Unlike us our dogs are happy and wagging their tails. 

I got home and jumped in the shower and dressed nicely.  Rick took notice.
You see I don't dress nicely on most days because I work from home as ya'll know. 
I came downstairs to find Rick already home from bringing Izzy to her weekly doggie day care visit. He is pouring his 2nd cup of coffee and asks me if I would  join him. 
I explain that I just brushed my teeth and showered and I don't want to smell like coffee because these women will be very close to me.
"Where are you going?" he asks. 
He says this like I am a shut in and never leave my house.
Which makes me giggle and I realize it is sort of true.  
I laugh and tell him that I am getting my boobies groped and squished.
"I can do that for you and for free, unless you'd prefer to pay me" he tells me.

"No thank you. I prefer to have these complete strange women  fondle me and put them in a vice."

"You're into that kind of torture huh?"

"Honestly Richard you're a sicko.  Besides I'm also having a bone density test. Talk about feeling old! The gyno suggested that I have that done along with the mammogram. Guess I could break a hip at any moment.  Seriously when she told me about this test I thought I was too young but apparently not. I could crumble at any minute. Secretly I want to prove her wrong so badly."

He just laughs. But seriously bone density people. All this shit slaps you in the face and screams, YOU OLD BITCH!! every friggin' day. 

I leave my house at 7:50 am for a 9am appointment. 
I have to go 12 miles this morning and I know the traffic will be a bitch.
I got stuck in my development for 24 minutes and decided to turn around and take another route. I prayed this would work. It was congested this way as well but moving. 
I prefer to move slowly than not move at all.  I get there at 9:01.  I signed in and they called me within minutes. I was so thrilled that this was moving quickly.  I get to the desk and the nice woman asks me for the Rx/order. OMG!   I left the damn order next to my purse on the kitchen island. I grabbed my purse and walked out. I pulled a Rick!!!  What a dumb ass. 

They had me call the dr.'s office to have them fax the order.
I sat there and waited and waited. The dr.'s office said they would do it immediately.
I apologized and they laughed and said that it happens more often than it doesn't. 
The problem is that the dr.'s office and I seem to have different ideas of the word immediately.

In the mean time they asked for my insurance card. I pulled the card out of my wallet that I had just put in my wallet last night. It was Rick's. Different insurance. CRAP!  I was not wearing my glasses when I saw it. I looked at it and thought, I'm going to need this tomorrow and threw it in my purse. Damn it I pulled another Rick! They tell me that if I can fax it when I get home to them it's no big deal. Great! I can do that.

I sit back down and read very old magazines and wait to hear my name called.
I am called, they tell me they still haven't received the order from the doctor.
They are backed up with other appointments and I may have to reschedule.
I certainly understand since this was all my fault.
So I reschedule for 2 weeks later.

I get home at 11am to a slew of office work and phone calls to deal with.
I was behind all day and it was no ones fault but my own.

I explain all this to Rick last night as he laughs and says, "I think you've been living with me too long you are now behaving like me."

I whine that I don't want to be like him, I want him to be like me.
He laughs and says, "I think we are alike now don't fight it."

Oh my God.