My Weekend Trip to my Hometown.

Well I'm back.
It was a whirlwind trip and it is good to be home.
I was running, running, running and it's good to just be still.

I will start with the weather.
Now having warm weather down here in March is one thing.
But to have warm weather in March in Erie Pennsylvania is just damn weird!
I was thrilled beyond belief that they did not have their annual snow blizzard over St. Patty's day but it was odd.

This event to remind you all was for my step mom's 70th birthday party that her 5 daughters did for her.
My sister Jenifer did most of the work.
She and her husband busted their butts for this event.

Now the negativity of my family was in full force.
And if you don't find the humor in it all it will drive you mad.
My sister Jen and I can laugh at most of it. But some of it can also drive you up the wall.

One of my sisters was to meet me to pick up the food we had catered.
As I got out of my car she said, "Are you wearing that? Is this supposed to be a dressed up affair?"

"Hi Pam, it's so good to see you!" I was trying to ignore her but she won't let up.

"So do I have to go home and change now?",  she asked in a bitter bitchy tone?

I took a deep breath and said slowly, "Pam whatever you are wearing is perfect. There is nothing that is wrong or better than anyone else. Wear what you are comfortable in. I am wearing a skirt because I am most comfortable in skirts than pants these days.
You look good in that color and there is nothing wrong with what you are wearing."

She rolled her eyes. God how I hate when people do this passive aggressive shit.
But I ignored her. Pam loves to live in a place called victimhood. It's where she is comfortable and unless she is making everyone else feel terrible she isn't happy.
I wasn't going to buy into it.

But she was still in a 'mood' so as we were waiting for the food I asked if she was mad about something else. She said, "I'm pissed but I guess I'll get over it"
(oh please!)
So I bit - "What are you pissed at?"

"I wanted to be more of a part of this whole thing."

"Pam I called you when we decided to have this catered for your thoughts. You were then in charge of the cake & helping me pick up the food and we are all splitting the costs. What else did you want to do?"

"Well I was off work all week and I could have helped more."

"Well did you tell anyone you were off  work and you had time?  You could have called Jen who lives in the same town as you and say, I'm on spring break this week and I have time to do more do you need any help with anything? No one knew you were off this week."

"Well I texted her and I guess she just ignored them."

I said, "Well you told me you didn't get my text or my 3 voicemails so did you ignore them?"

"No. I told you I DIDN'T GET THEM."
"So why do you assume she ignored them? I am sure she didn't get them and seriously you could have picked up the phone and called her since it isn't like her to ignore them.
 Jen would have answered you if you she heard from you.
Pam everyone had the jobs they were to do. We didn't know you wanted more."

She threw her hands up in the air and said, "forget it, it's over and I'll get over it."

Oh my goodness a 53 year old drama queen.
I am so serious when I say this woman has never ever been happy a day in her life.
I don't get it. She exhausts me. 
How does this party end up being about her? And once again she is a victim. Poor Pam.

My Step Mom was surprised. Not completely, she had an idea because one sister had to make a deal but that too is typical. But what surprised her was who was there. Her brother from out of town made her cry. She was shocked to see me and the women she worked with. So that was nice. She seemed to genuinely enjoy herself.

I think it went over well. Everyone seemed to enjoy the food and the party. So it went well as far as I could tell. The women that my mom works with all thanked we girls and said such nice things and were complimentary. I looked at my sister and said, "It was so positive you can tell they aren't family." We had a good laugh about that one.

I was near the door when my step mom and dad walked in and we yelled SURPRISE.
My father walked over to me and hugged me and said, "It's nice to see you again"and he walked away.
He said it so strangely like he didn't know me. I pulled away and looked at him and he was walking away. I didn't even have time to register it all. I know I was standing there with my mouth open when my cousin Frank said, "Oh my goodness he didn't know you.  Are you okay?"
I remember nodding but honestly this hit me like a ton of bricks.
Then when my father was about 8-9ft away he turned around and was shaking hands with someone and he looked at me and said, "OH MY GOD PEGGY'S HERE!" as though he saw me for the first time and he came over and gave me a 'daddy' hug and kissed me and told me it was so nice for me to be there.

I have to say I realize he's 84 and that time is limited.
I know he is a pain in the ass. But he is my father.
And I admit this was killer for me. I see him being so frail now and not this big burly man he was.  Him not knowing me was weird, scary and uncomfortable.

My step mom when told of this the next day just poo-poo'd it.
She said he was confused because this was a surprise for him too.
She kept saying, "you know how he is in that type of situation etc."
I am not sure if she is delusional or she was trying to make it better for me.
Either way I saw it, I felt it and I didn't like it. 
I don't see him except a couple times a year and each time he looks older and more frail.
It sucks to get old.  God I hate it.

I don't have time today to upload the photos. I'll share tomorrow.
So good to be back home. 
As Dorothy says in the wizard of oz, "There's no place like home!"
I am so feeling that today.