Parents and Family

I'm still on my "NO TV WITH POLITICS" so I can remain oblivious to the world events and not get upset so I give you my parents.....

One holiday when my cousins were all together as is the custom at these gatherings we were all laughing,drinking and telling stories about our parents.

”God love ‘em, my cousin says....how we all grew up normal is simply amazing.”

Now I think a lot of people would first think after that statement, NORMAL? But I knew what he meant. The fact that we are all productive citizens is really amazing some days when you watch these older folks process of thinking.

Here is an example I shared with my cousins about my parents that day.
Now keep in mind my step mom is not that much older than me, only 14 years.
(As I’ve mentioned before my mom died of breast cancer when I was 13.)
Honestly you’d think she was as old as my father though and I guess that is why it works for them because there is a 14 year age difference between them as well.

My mother has a habit of calling us and saying the following on our voicemail,

“Margaret pick up its mother.” (sing songy no less) "Margaret if you are screening pick up it’s mother.” (now if I was screening, she is who I would be screening from!) “oh George they aren’t picking up do you think they aren’t home? Margaret it’s mother. Oh I never know what they are doing....put that down you don’t need to eat that right now. Oh for heaven’s sake George close that door. Mumble, mumble, mumble and then she hangs up.

My husband and I went up there for that years Christmas holiday and I share with her yet again while in the kitchen that we do not have an answering machine so I can’t screen her messages.
I explain that she doesn’t need to tell me it’s her because I can’t hear her.
My father is reading the paper at the kitchen island while my mom is at the kitchen sink with her back to me.

“Why can’t you hear me? Is there a volume to turn it up on your machine?”

I continue on how we don’t have an answering machine anymore that it is voicemail so I can not hear her when she is talking to me in voicemail.

She says, "Well if you aren't home of course you can't." I said, "no I am not screening at all. I can not hear you BECAUSE I don't have a machine Ma, this is voicemail. Think of it as inside the phone.

I go on to explain the difference between an answering machine and voicemail. I explained that the best way to think of it is that it’s an answering machine inside my phone from the phone company so until I pick up my phone and put in a code I don’t hear any messages.

She says, “okay I see. So how do you think they get faxes to go through the air with a picture and words and then it ends up at someones home or office? Isn’t that something?”

I begin to laugh because where the hell did this come from?
My father looks up from the paper for a moment and looks at me with the most dead pan look and says “that’s YOUR mother” As though he has never met her before.

Fast forward to our trip home that week and we get caught in some bad weather and the 6 hour trip takes over 8 hours. We finally get home and unpack and I check voicemails.

There are 3 from my mom saying, “Margaret we are worried if you made it home please pick up. Margaret it’s mother if you’re screening pick up please.” Why haven’t you called to let us know you got home okay? Oh George I’m getting worried....then mumble, mumble mumble and hang up. There were 2 more similiar to that.

When I listened to them I put them on speaker so my husband could hear and we both just shook our heads and laughed. She still does it and for the life of me I don’t get what else I could possibly say to make her understand. I have even showed her how it works when she visited. She smiles and God love her I see that she just doesn’t get it.

Will I be like that in 14 yrs? Oh my goodness I hope not. And who will I get to drive crazy since I have no children? My younger sisters perhaps?  I guess I should have rethought this have children, don't have children, a little more closely.