Inappropriate Laughter

You know how you get the giggles in places when you know you just shouldn’t be laughing? And somehow that makes everything even funnier?

Rick and I were talking recently to some family members about the time my husband, who was just my live in boyfriend at the time,  first met the WHOLE FAMILY on my Dad’s side. My cousin-in-law Pat could so relate to Rick's experience that follows because as he explained he was in the same "shocked state" when he met the family....but he sure did enjoy hearing about my pain and Rick's realization.

Now to be fair to my family I have to say that all the idiosyncrasy’s of ones family sometimes don’t seem quite as LARGE as when you are seeing them through someone else’s eyes for the first time. I admit that it surprised me at how funny it all was to me when I heard myself explaining things to him the first time. I suddenly saw it all so differently.  What I had taken for granted or was just so used to now seemed so big and colorful and yes embarrassing.

Rick being my boyfriend at the time had not been fully exposed to all my family at one time at that point.  
Oh he had met my immediate family. (I felt that punishment enough.)
But that whole lot of crazy loud Italian American's on my father’s side I thought was a bit much for him all at once. My father had 8 brothers and sisters and each with a slew of children of their own. (you know how those Italian Catholics feel about their birth control!)

I loved these people but there were days when all gathered together it was overwhelming for even me.  
How did I think he was going to deal with that?
On this particular day of telling this story there were other “in-laws” laughing about how hard it is for someone new to adjust to this motley crew and how overwhelming it can be for them.

My husband always compares it to the movies, My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Fools Rush In.  The poor WASP tries to fit in and sees the family as so strange. The only difference from these movies is you need to change the food and liquor and sadly the rest is all the same! 

I see how overwhelming it all is from the outsider's point of view from all those movies.
That is the exact reason I hadn't introduced him to all of them just yet.
So Rick shared with the other "in laws" at the table on this particular day this whole story and it had them all laughing and nodding their heads because they see things just as he does because it isn’t their family either....they also remembered this event.

We were attending a funeral for a very close cousin that had passed away in a tragic car accident. She was young, beautiful and about to be a mom for the 1st time. She wasn't even 30 yet I don't believe.
It was tragic on so many levels. She was loved by all and lovely as well.
It hit me hard and when I got the news my hubby (then boyfriend) was there to pick me up.
I knew everyone would be there for support and comfort for my Aunt and Uncle as well as her siblings.  It would be an event like a wedding with all the family in attendance only not for a happy occasion.

When it came time for the viewing one evening Rick asked if I wanted him to go.
I told him he really didn’t have to but secretly I really did want him there for support.
But I wasn't sure this was the time to expose him to "the family"
He came with me, perhaps a mistake looking back. When we arrived it was packed.

It was loud and there were so many people they were overflowing into the hallway.
There was a woman dancing with her hands above her head snapping her fingers.  
She was smiling and laughing when we got up to her she said to me “Aren’t parties fun?”
I hugged her and said, “yes they are Aunt Mary” and just smiled and walked into the viewing room.

Rick asks, “What the hell was that about? Why did you say nothing to her about this not being a party?”
I told him she was my Aunt Mary who has Alzheimer’s.
She is one of Dad’s sisters she probably thinks all these people gathering is a party and I’m sure her daughter is in here somewhere so she is not here alone.
He just went along with me.
Whew, I thought the worse was over....what the hell was I thinking?

At one point in the evening, I went to sit down. There was an L-shaped settee/sofa type piece of furniture in the corner. My sister Stephanie was sitting there and Rick and I joined her. (Stephanie became my sister at the tender age of 6 after Mom died & Dad remarried – I was 8 yrs older) Then my sister Pam came over and sat with us. (Pam is my full blood sister) 

Honestly, I was just exhausted emotionally as well as physically from the constant talking to so many people and standing around. 
It felt good to just sit.
Or at least that is what I thought I was going to be doing.

Then it happened....In rapid fire succession the following occurrences take place:

This man and woman walk in together and the man is wearing a baby blue polyester suit with a white belt and white shoes. No shit - and this is the early 90’s not the early 70's.
Rick chuckles and asks sarcastically, “Who is that stylish man?”
To which Stephanie and Pam laugh and reply, “It’s Uncle Tony. He’s Dad’s brother from Ohio”
My sisters say in unison, “he probably has his accordion in the car but don’t ask or he’ll play it” and we all laugh.
Rick hasn't a clue of what the hell that means and I don’t go any further into that hot topic.

Before he can digest that information Rick asks, “Who is that woman and what is on her head?”
I look to where he is pointing and tell him “It is my other Aunt from Ohio, my father’s sister, and that is her wig that is on crooked.”
We all laugh.
He says, “why doesn’t someone tell her to fix it?”
“Well, we’ve tried but it appears she likes it like that.”
"Like a damn beret?" Rick asks.
That was met with more giggles from my sisters and my boyfriend.
I wanted to melt into the sofa, this guy is never going to want to be with 
me again!

Then a nun walks up to the woman in the crooked wig and he asks me, “Is the nun in your family?”
Stephanie laughs and says to my Rick with such conviction, “Please remember I am not blood related to any of these people”
To which my sister Pam and I laugh like crazy. Right now Pam and I are wishing we weren’t either.

Rick asks again, “Well, who is the nun?”
I tell him, “She’s the daughter of the woman with the really crooked wig, but she’s not really a nun.”
At which point my sisters are now howling from the realization of how this must sound and appear.  They are literally doubling over with laughter and neither can speak to assist me.

We notice my father giving us the evil eye from across the room so we try to regain composure. Even as adults that look from him gives us all fear.  Our father is mouthing something at us like we are all 12 yrs old instead of being grown-ups.

Rick now asks, “ If she isn’t a nun then why does she wear a nun's habit, it’s not Halloween.”
My sisters at this point shriek with laughter which makes my father look over at us again.
I have to continue on.....“She was kicked out of the convent awhile back and she refuses to take it off”
Roars of laughter at this sentence from sisters who are not helping me here.
“Why was she kicked out?”
“ Hell, I don’t know. No one knows for sure, and no one will talk about it”

At this point my sisters can hardly contain themselves and now hubby joins them in laughter. Stephanie says to hubby, “REMEMBER I am not blood related.”

This statement from Stephanie makes all 3 of them begin crying with laughter and now my father just shot us a look that could have made any one of us join our dearly departed cousin in a casket.

At that very moment in time someone has gas. Yes, that's right to put it crudely someone farted. 
It was silent but deadly.
To which my sister Pam who was sitting next me says loudly, “Oh my God Peggy” and walks away.  I didn't do it I say.
Then Stephanie gets up and walks away followed by Rick.  

Okay now everyone thinks this was me. But I am defiant....and stupid because I decided I was staying put because I did not do this.
Now from the look of everyone else on this settee who got up and walk away I surely look like the guilty party now don’t I?

My sisters and Rick were being reprimanded by my father and they were all looking over at me as I sat there oh so innocently. (it was my sister Stephanie who did the stinky deed that I got blamed for and to this day is proud of herself)

Now Patrick, the cousin-in-law who was listening to this story that Rick was sharing had a real good laugh.
He asked, “And you still wanted to marry her?  He went on ....
At least I did not have the privilege of meeting all these crazies when I asked my wife to marry me. Maybe there’s something wrong with you. Ever thought of that?”

Now that made me really laugh because he hadn’t even met the crazy Italians on my mother's side yet. I made him wait until the wedding for that. 

Hey, I may be slow but I’m not stupid.