Green Acres

I'd like to chat with my blogger friends today about a few things rolling around in my little old head.

First off I'm sorry so many of my posts are about this 6-month protocol. As the steroids go down in numbers I do have some very good days of late. Instead of 12 a day I'm down to six a day. Yee-ha. Big difference in how I am feeling so far this week.  I am to take these until the first part of June. Chemo light as I call it is 6 months of 10pills on Sunday only. 

Then Sunday later in the day and Monday are very bad days.  

So to all who continue to ask how long in comments...Chemo can be up to 6 months. (3 more months after steroids are done) I'll know more after my eye exam in June.

But it has NOT spread to my other eye since starting this. As you can assume this great news all were hoping for or I'd need to learn Braille quickly!  So it's working as it should. Horrific side effects as well.

The other day it was 85 degrees. Rick was in his shop and I saw him walk onto the patio. I grabbed my coffee and went out to join him at the table. He told me he was taking a break.  He took off his shirt for some sun. 

Here I sit across from him wearing leggings, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt and I was freezing!!!! Normally I am warm and 85 degrees is the absolute hottest I can take without bitching. (See the pattern?) This cold is weird for me. As I type this, my arms are tingling like I've been outside in 12 degrees, they feel like they have been in ice water and I'm covered in 2 layers. I'm not even sure which meds do this but I'm not a fan.  

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I am thankful I flew on a plane in early March before they tossed the mask mandate. I must wear one now with a suppressed immune system. I had an ole local man say to me at the store that I didn't have to wear that anymore as he pointed to my face mask. (I've been told this so many times!)

I realized I smiled but of course wearing a mask he didn't see it. I paused for what seemed like forever trying to think about what I should say vs what I WANTED to say. I finally settled on, "I don't wear this for you, I wear this for me. I have a health condition causing my body to have a suppressed immune system, this is not a political statement nor should it ever be sir. It's just for my health right now". He apologized to my shock and amazement. 

I thanked him. I don't think he'll do that again. I mean to say he was so nice after that. Mind your business!

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On Sundays and Mondays, I don't normally lift my head much. I am horizontal a great deal on those days. So I tend to watch a lot of TV on these specific days IF I am awake enough to focus.

I saw an ad for First Ladies a new show on Showtime. I also saw the 3 main actresses on a talk show about it (Kimmel I believe) and it made me want to tune in. I liked the 3 actresses.

Gillan Anderson as Eleanor Roosevelt. Michelle Pfeifer as Betty Ford and Viola Davis as Michelle Obama.

First, allow me to share that I love everything Viola Davis does. But she RUINS this show. She purses her lips when she plays Michelle. They drew in eyebrows like a seriously weird Muppet. You can't stop watching her contort her face and it's so damn horrific. That is not one bit how she spoke or looked. The eyebrows. Oh, Lord! Viola is horrendous thus far in this.

The other two are great. Now I did not live when the Roosevelt's were in office so it's a lot of new info for me. What's that Peg you didn't pay attention in history class? Yes, you are correct! History used to bore me and now I like it but the real history, not the clean and scrubbed bullshit like Columbus discovered America.

I did live during The Fords. Michelle so far is great as Betty Ford. Balls to the wall Betty! I always liked her, her husband was my issue back in the day. This has made me like her even more so far anyway!  I don't know how many episodes are in the series. It's on Sunday nights on Showtime.

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You know how I love to powerwash? Well, I feel the same about weed whacking and edging. Oh, a nice straight edge gets me all a twitter. 

LOL

We are charging the battery now but I still have to wait for Rick to mow the lawn first before I use this. I have not used the mower and since he is still getting used to it, I'll let him get very used to it.  After he mows then I can edge. At least that is what he wants me to do and I'm a good wife I'm gonna listen. Yea, I couldn't type that without laughing either.

This city girl is awaiting the arrival of her black mulch that will be delivered on Monday and she's excited. Boy, how my life has changed. 

It still feels like Green Acres around here. 

(Rick:) 

Farm livin' is the life for me.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

(Peg:)
New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

Earlier today I yelled to Rick across the yard - "I thought we gave up bending" as I am pulling weeds, planting shrubs, and on my knees bending.  Some of the shrubs seem to me to be so small but I do recall that at our old home they began the sad same way and they grew in just fine. That first year though they look a bit small and oddly out of place. 

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There is a show on I believe TLC. Rick of course found this sucker after another of his gross shows like Dr. Pimple Popper. This woman makes body parts for people who have lost them for whatever reason. She made an ear for a young girl that was so damn good, arms for a young mother who got sepsis and lost her arms. A man who lost his nose and it was just a hole in the front of his face. He became a hermit as you can well imagine. She made him a nose from photos. It fit his face perfectly and it gave him the confidence to go out into the world and live his life. It was such a good show. I make fun of Rick and all the goofy shit he watches but when he told me to watch this I did and I'm glad I did. I cried. I mean c'mon. I am crying because this young girl has an ear and no one will make fun of her again. It's a good and fascinating show. These women they have shown who make these parts are so damn good at their job. I would think this would be so fulfilling. But since I can't draw a stick person you wouldn't want me to make your nose!  

Miss me?

Yes, last week was killer. It seems as if this chemo shit is building up I feel worse. No surprise I suppose. I just couldn't write last week. 

Did any of you see 60 minutes last night and the new flying cars? (eVOLS)

As we were watching it Rick made the sound of George Jetson's car. 

Of course that made me laugh. 

To which he responded, "This is the reason why I can't date a young thing, she'd never understand that sound." 

I responded, "You think that is the reason you shouldn't date a young thing? Perhaps that you are an old fart and married may be the reason you don't date a young thing!  

"Oh yeah, I guess that too" as he laughs.

Another fun thing that happened on Easter. We were enjoying the beautiful weather and sitting on our front porch. I have good mornings so I try to do a lot in the mornings. Watered the garden, spray painted an outdoor table, watered my flowers and power washed the front porch, steps, and railings. Then I'm shot for the day as pathetic as that is. 

But again as I have said here before I just LOVE to power wash. 

I think it's part of my anal-retentive issues. I love seeing that clean and those lines. Rick was making fun of me and telling me to do the driveway. 

I said okay. Then he yelled, "NO. I'm making fun of you, the driveway is huge, no you are not doing the driveway."  Sadly I would have. 

my long driveway 

Yes, we have a long driveway. Thankfully we no longer have to shovel or snow blow this driveway! I'd powerwash anyone's anything I just love it so. 

Except for the time I did the top-level wrap-around deck at our vacation home. Oh, that was bad. I wrote about it in 2018. But it was far earlier in our lake home's life that I powered washed after cocktails. Not a good move. As my flip flop (another bad move) caught a nail and I lost my balance my arms were flailing to catch my balance and somehow or another I ran that power washer over my foot way too close. It opened a wound in the top of my foot. Rick heard the scream on the floor below and came running. He said everyone could have heard that scream. (oops! sorry!)

Oh not a cut, a full open wound. I recall seeing the inside of my foot. Not even blood at first, just an open gaping hole of my innards. It was so gross and I almost passed out. That was bad. So no cocktails before power washing. Lesson learned! And to wear shoes. Such common sense, yet I lost my mind on that day!  The doctors at the urgent care gave me a lot of shit I deserved too so you don't have to. 😁 Yesterday I wore shoes and did not drink prior to power washing. I mean it was 9am for Pete's sake.  (like that has ever stopped me, it's 5p somewhere my grandmother taught me) 

A neighbor walked by with his big old dog Cody. Cody is a husky and just damn beautiful. He stopped in front of our house and just stared at us on the porch. That made us both laugh. The man was pulling him to leave. He wanted to come to see us. He was pulling the owner onto our yard with such strength and determination it was comical. We have not met this dog. We see this man regularly walking by our home and we wave but that's it. We have never met him. 

I yelled to him to ask if I could come to pet his dog. He said I think that is what he wants. So I ran down the steps and to the end of the yard and the dog ran to me pulling his owner. We loved on one another and I sat in the grass and Cody sat next to me and just laid his head on my thigh. I was in heaven. The dog and I just sat on the front lawn while we spoke to his owner and I rubbed Cody. Cody was calm and content.

Just what the doctor ordered for me. The owner was just shocked at Cody's behavior. He asked where our dog was and I shared that Izzy had passed away. I said maybe Cody knew I needed a dose of dog love today. The owner laughed. It just felt like Cody knew I needed that yesterday and he made me feel a whole lot better!

Don was the name of his owner and he told me that his dog is not a loyal breed and is not loyal to anyone. He will take off running if allowed. 

He said he would see our dog lay in the yard or driveway sunning herself and never move. I said she was the opposite of Cody.  

But Cody didn't want to leave on this day either. 

I told Cody's owner if he ever wants or needs to have someone watch him we'd be happy to. I needed that dose of dog lovin'. It was a very nice visit and he thanked us for painting the sign and taking care of things on this corner. That was nice of him. It was a glorious visit but Cody had to go home. He went with this owner and kept turning back. 

Don yelled I think you made a friend! 

Oh, Cody did indeed. 

The rest of our "holiday" was uneventful and quiet just how we like 'em.

I hope you all had a nice holiday with your loved ones. 

New HGTV Show for Poor Folks

Just when I think I've got this medical shit down, I'm thrown a curve. 

Take that, you know nothin' Peggy!!

Last week at Duke they told me that as we slowly go down on the number of steroids weekly the chemo pill slowly ramps up in my body. I am still taking 10 pills at a time, but the drug slowly increases in my body over time which is the opposite of the steroids. Builds up shall we say. I think that is why this week's dosage threw me for a loop. Oh, it's building up.

Monday was bad. Fatigue doesn't even describe it. 

I finished hosing down the patio furniture of its 2 inches of pollen. 

I came inside for some water and then sat on the sofa. 

Rick came in from outside and I was out like a light, sitting upright. 

I do not remember falling asleep. 

Later in the day I brought some clean laundry to our bedroom. 

I made the mistake of sitting on the bed. I do not recall laying down. 

Rick said he was looking for me and found me holding his folded shirt just passed out across the bed. He took the shirt from my hands and covered me with the comforter and let me sleep for hours. I know these make one tired, but it was like I was bitten by a TseTse fly and I had sleeping sickness. It's wild fatigue.

No issue being up all nite yesterday!!

But allow me to show you what we both finished this week.

We did this together. We did not kill one another. 

In fact, we laughed a lot. AND we got exactly what we wanted for the most part.

Now if HGTV needs a new show with a couple of people who make things on the cheap. We're their couple! Between inflation, costs of wood, retirement and needing everything for this old house we didn't have much of a choice unless we were going to win the lottery. 

My number one hated thing in this house are the floors. 

But financially that has to wait until next year. So off to the living room we go ignoring that god awful shag 70s rug. (the house was built in 97, must have been a sale on shag carpet!).

Rick is most often the guy who wants to fix everything. 

He has a need to fix. 

If he sees me struggling to get a piece of trim up, he wants to rush over to help me. 

That is where if we were on HGTV they would yell CUT!  Leave her alone Richard!

While I know he is doing that to "help" me, I don't need help. 

I am just doing it my way. My hands are smaller, I can't grip this tool in the same way, I explain all of this and he just laughs and asks to do it. More often than not I  actually let him do it so he'll leave me alone but this time, nope, not gonna take over mister. I can do it, I just do it like a girl. 

I have a hammer that is lighter, and I have some other tools in my pink tool belt that are made for a smaller hand. I think possibly for kids. But I don't have big ole hands like Rick. Once we got through this he finally realized that I wasn't doing anything wrong, I just have to do it differently sometimes. I made him watch a few things and he actually said, "Oh I get it now! Okay, go to work wench, you've got this and we're behind!" and the little shit snapped his fingers

This UGLY room is from the for sale picture online.  Thankfully it doesn't look like this anymore.

We knew we wanted to flank the fireplace with bookshelves and redo the mantle and fireplace. (that stonework is very 80s and not to my taste, it belongs in Colorado or a cold-weather climate to me) 

We decided to begin with the left side of the fireplace. (the lamp covers it)

I drew what I had in mind. 

We worked off the drawing until we had it where we wanted it.

Rick began to price wood. Yikes! He was deflated but I really thought we could do this another way. I kept telling him to hear me out. 

I suggested we do this in a true DIY way. Let's buy some pieces and build up.

We didn't have the money for all this good wood, even MDF was high since Covid, so he went along with me even though he wasn't yet convinced. 

If this were on HGTV there would have been a bubble over Rick's head stating he thought I was nuts but he was pacifying me because he had no other ideas yet.

I had my eye on these to be the base. 

But they were more than I wanted to spend. I found these online at the manufacturer, Walmart, Hayneedle, Overstock, Wayfair, and more. 

I kept my eye on them and put in an extension that I'd be alerted if they went down. 

After the holidays they went down in price. Hayneedle had this in horrific colors for 1/2 the price. White was still full price. But the ugly colors to me were like buy one get one free. I was pumped. Ugly color it was!

I purchased the ugly color to only pay 50%. We painted them. (Yes, I'm thankful Rick has spray equipment.) These are a very solid and heavy base and for that, I'm thankful that I got this 1/2 price even if I did have to paint them.

Once they were white, Rick made a walnut top.

(The fireplace mantle is walnut as well, I know it looks crooked here but it's not)

Now to the shelving. We found it so costly for all this wood so we were at a standstill for a while. (months) Rick would say, "does it really have to be that high?" YES. He kept at the questions hoping I'd say no and he could buy wood for less money. But that wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to sacrifice the look I had drawn so we could afford it. I'd rather do without.

Then one evening while doing dishes I had an idea. Why not buy them?

When I finished up the dishes I went online and found 2 very cheap bookcases from Walmart. 

I showed them to Rick, then drew my thoughts on how we can make this work. 

He liked the idea but wasn't 100% it would work. I knew it would work if he could help me with the wood trimming and molding. 

I ordered this for pickup before he changed his mind!!

Rick can make anything but it's the ideas that he doesn't always come up with. That's what I'm for. I have all the ideas in the world but can't build shit. 

So we make a good pair in that respect. 

So we put the cheap bookcases ($30) together and measured the height we wanted and cut off the rest. I then used Grasscloth wallpaper for the backs. (property brothers brand) Peel and Stick is amazing these days. We've come a long way! 

And yes, this was done in the wee hours of the morning if you recall. 

See how thin and cheap the bookcases look? Thin shelving etc.

I wanted the bookcase to look like it was a substantial bookcase, not a Walmart bookcase. Then we headed to Lowes for wood and trimmed to size. 

I sanded, primed, painted, and then watched Rick install. 

It was coming together before my eyes. The final piece was the top crown molding.

Here it is before I finished filling it and arranging items, but damn, we did it!!! 

Oh sure there are spots to touch up but I decided to wait until the entire wall was done and do all touch-ups at one time. 

The top portion cost less than $150 for bookcases, paint, paper, molding, and trim. 

DIY on the cheap. These are attached to the walls so they don't fall over of course.

We will begin the right side later this week or I should say Rick will. 

He has to remove the window trim, the chair rail, etc. 

I am having a slow sluggish week so far so I am not uncertain what if anything other than putting things on the shelves and finishing it up with happen this week by me. Monday and Tuesdays are not good days for me so playin' it by ear.

Bottom line, there is no way we could have purchased all the wood to make these from scratch and done this for less. It really saved us a ton of money this way. And honestly, I like how it turned out. Now I can't wait to finish the other side and then on to the tile and fireplace. 

So there ya go. One side is almost done, whole lot more to go.

Do you think HGTV needs a senior fun couple for their DIY on the Cheap? 

They found 'em. 

The Big One Inch

My husband came home from the store and held something behind his back. 

"I have something for you, babe! Your favorite 1 inch." 

Okay, you all know where my mind went and I began to laugh.

My fave? 1 inch Rick? Really?

Then he hands me my new brushes. And he's right I do really like the 1 inch. 😝🤣🤣

...courtesy of Steven Tyler and Aerosmith. 
 

Down Pour

I have determined that there must be a rhythm to retirement. 

It's taking me a while to get there. 

I imagine there is an adjustment period for everyone. 
I, in fact, am still a work in progress.  No surprise there I am sure.

If I had just retired that would be one thing. But I closed a business, moved out of state, had a helluva time finding a house and lost 21 of them, lived in temporary housing, got into said house and have to make it ours, our dog gets sick and dies, I get sick and have to be on a mind-numbing round of drugs and chemo. It's not really ever settled down long enough to realize I don't work anymore. How the hell would I have had time to work with the last 8 months? July to now has been nonstop. 

But as I've been forced to slow down by medical treatment I've had time to think about what I may want retirement to look like for me. 

Of course, for me traveling is number one. It's on the bottom of my husband's list so that's an issue. 

Even a weekend drive somewhere would satisfy me a bit.
Also, it got me thinking that maybe being ill is okay because I have certainly slowed down. So maybe this is a good time for a reset. 

Oh, I have a shit ton of stuff I'm doing around the house. All in time. 

But as I plug away at the tile, the paint, the building there has to be more. (just found the tile for the fireplace...oh i can't wait to show ya'll)

I love the gardening and the time I now have to play out there. To feed, water, and nourish. I love the plants that we are attempting to spruce up the front of the house.

It's moving slower than inpatient Peg would like but it's my new life now so I need to get used to it. I need to learn patience. Not my strong suit. Never has been.
 

My garden has lettuces, snap peas, cauliflower, broccoli, red cabbage, bok choy, cubanelle peppers, jalapenos, and another pepper which I can't remember, beets, onions, and more! Everything we like in stir fry and more. 

I think I'd like to can some of these tomatoes. I have not canned since home ec class in 1973-74. Now that Rick made me this big pantry I've got lots of room to store. We shall see. This could be a big bust, Martha Stewart I'm not.

Thursday I was having another good day for the most part. 

I went outside to water the garden and to feel the sun on my face. 

Rick suggested I put on long sleeves because these meds will cause me to burn. 

It was a beautiful 76 degrees and sunny. No rain in the forecast.

So I put on a long-sleeve T-shirt and went out to water the raised beds. 

Rick was out there checking on the water barrels when all of a sudden a big crack of thunder and the sky just opened and POURED.  I mean poured hard!  I ran to turn off the hose. Rick and I then ran around the garage into the driveway and up the patio towards the house laughing. 

We were by this time fully drenched. 

By the time we got inside all of our clothes were stuck to us. We were dripping puddles.
So much for a sunburn huh? 

We both left a very big puddle by the back door. We both tried to take off our clothes by the back door instead of dripping through the house. But do you remember how difficult it is to remove your wet bathing suit from your wet body?  Oh, we had some giggles.  

Poor Rick was trying like hell to get his jeans unstuck from his legs and they were making the most God-awful sounds. Which made immature Peg giggle. Then he lost his balance, slipped on the puddle of water, and went down. Went down with his pants around his knees and legs in the air. Oh my goodness. This bad wife almost peed her pants from laughing at him. 

It was a nice release, all that laughter. 

Ever get drenched in a quick storm? This is our 2nd time. You'd think we'd learn. But honestly no clouds in the sky, sunny and no forecast for rain. I swear when I say there is a cloud over my head, you may all believe me now. 😁

What I refer to as Mr. Green Jean's Garden. Good start. 🤞

Play Ball!

I saw my hairstylist, Kyle. 

I realized after this last cut that I did not care for what was done but I also realized it was because of what I said to him. I told him short on the sides. Not what I meant but what he did. The day I realized that was an eye-opener and it made me laugh because I hated when customers did that to me and I did that. I can't even blame the damn eye mass for this goof. 

I had Rick drive me because I hate driving right now. One eye and all. 
So we get there and I saw the look of horror on Kyle's face when he saw me. Then he realized what his face had done. I smiled and told him to let me explain this new huge person before him.  It hurt but I get it. 

I don't look like me at all.

So I told him about 'Betty'. He wasn't aware.

I don't normally tell people there is a mass in my right eye so he thought this was out of left field. I explained it all. 

Then to my hair falling out and all the shit I am doing to prevent that. (biotin shampoo, folic acid per the dr, hair skin and nails biotin vitamins etc) 

He said, "Okay but if it does fall out we can make it fun"  Fun? 

Oh, he was talking wigs, different hair that may come in. For example, my hair is fine, it may come in thick. It may come back as brown instead of salt and pepper. 

I told him I don't care, I don't want it to leave me in the first place.  
He just said, 'okay got it'  I shared that I am not ready to discuss wigs, etc. 

Let's see if it comes to that. I'm in denial. He hugged my shoulders and said we will deal with what we have to deal with when we have to deal with it then. I told him that worked for me. HAIR.IS.EVERYTHING. (right Abby?)

I then explained the trouble I was having with my hair and I explained that I realized while styling it the other day that you did exactly what I told you to do.  But that is not what I should have said. I should have said I wanted it long on the sides but short in length. The bulk should be long. He got it then. Whew. 

HE laughed but then thanked me for realizing he did what I told him and that it was me who was wrong. He said I have never ever had anyone realize that. 

I said, "I was a barber remember? Had that happen a few times"  He thanked me.

I laughed and said, if I tell you short and you make it short I can't be mad now can I?  He said, "Oh yes, you could. I've had it done before." 

Okay, I am not mad but please cut this as I held up this section. 

He said, "oh good I didn't think this was a good choice, and since you didn't want that choice to begin with let's be done with it and he took his razor and just cut that off"  Now we're cooking with gas.

He fixed my hair and I was thrilled. He told me that he could see I wasn't myself so if I make an appointment and find I just can't make it because I feel like shit, call, cancel, rebook, whatever. There will be no charge for me canceling at the last minute. I thought that was nice of him to offer. I really like this young man.  He is so eclectic but kind and generous and funny. He has a good heart and you can just tell and feel his warmth under those tattoos and the crazy colors in his hair.

**

I got to watch a new documentary during my early morning wide-awake hours that I had recorded from the MLB network. I am jonesing for baseball. It was about a player named Don Mattingly.

I am not buying the MLB package of all games this year. I just can't. 

Drowning in health care debt. Eye masses aren't cheap. Betty's a diva.
So anytime I can get some games or info I watch. Our home opener was to be Thursday but I understand it was changed to Friday due to possible inclement weather that is predicted. 

I don't think I'll see it anyway but I may listen to it on Sirius. I also have the only cable, satellite, etc that doesn't carry the yes network so I can't see a game no way no how now. 

I have watched many documentaries on former baseball players from all teams. In fact, I watch a lot of docs on athletes. 
I am always fascinated when I find that a player I always enjoyed but that after watching the documentary I see them as real jerks. 

It's so disappointing.

I recall one where he was such an ass I kept thinking, how did I like this guy? 

I watched something on Nolan Ryan a long time ago. 

While he is so very talented, I really really disliked him for many reasons when he played. Just never liked the guy. 

After watching the documentary I did not change my mind about him, in fact, it cemented it for me. So it is always interesting to me how that plays out. 

Because I so love Don Mattingly I was so hoping he wouldn't be one of those that was a big jerk in real life. I wanted him to be the Donnie Baseball I knew him as. I wanted this documentary to not reveal a real narcissistic shit.

A hard worker, humble man, great hitter, nice midwest guy. 

He was quiet and not flashy. He was helpful, not selfish. He was not a big home run hitter but a damn fine consistent hitter. "the hitman"  

That was how I saw him. Thankfully the documentary did as well. 

(I loved his work ethic.)

The documentary didn't disappoint me except to watch the 1995 nyy loss to the Seattle Mariners again.  It also reminded me why I hated George Steinbrenner at times. Today I wish he'd be alive to fix the team. His sons don't know-how. 

My team won't be in the playoffs, they will be at the end of the pack. 

We have no pitching. Always the issue.(but we got rid of Gary Sanchez and that warmed my heart)

This is Toronto's year. But I still miss games. 

In September the NY Yankees / AAA team in Scranton will play here in Durham against the Durham Bulls. (Just like the movie) 

If I have to crawl I am going to go to one of those games. 

I should be fine by then and get some cracker jacks and a game in. 

They are here for a full week of games so I can't imagine why I couldn't go to one of them. 

Being outdoors watching a game sounds great about now! 

Sun, peanuts, and a ball game. Does it get any better in springtime? 

Betty's Gonna Die!

yes, these are my real flowers!

I went to my happy place on Tuesday. 
Raleigh Farmers Market 30,000 Square feet of happiness.

I had an appointment for my first follow-up regarding my eye after the first two weeks of medication. 

Rick, of course, drove me. We were hoping to go to the RFMarket if I was up to it. I knew I was going to make myself go but I let him think he had some control. He hovers and worries so. 

First my appointment---

Betty has shrunk!! The first time anything worked!!

My doctor and the entire team were jumping for joy.

I will remain on steroids as planned. 

The chemotherapy pills will continue as well and possibly for a few extra months. 

Personally, I hope not. But it was good news non the less right? 

Rick came into the doctor's office with me this time for the first time. When the doc came in and said loudly while holding new images of my eye -  'BETTY'S GONNA DIE!'  

Rick burst out laughing and said to me "he calls her betty too?" I said, "sure I introduced them to one another on the first day. First name basis here even though we all hate Betty." 

While my dr. was thrilled as am I, I am just impatient and want it over with. 

He is happy with the progress.

I did share with my doctor that being an anal-retentive person I have found my rhythm and order. I know that within 60-90 minutes after my one set of pills later in the a.m. I will be very sick. I plan around that. 

I have a pattern and while the pattern sucks I like knowing how the day will go. I plan the worst-case scenario so that I take something anti-nausea in time etc but if it is a pretty good day I just enjoy the hell out of it you know? He said that he could see how that would help me. He told a story of his own control issues and we all had some good laughs. Rick liked the doctor and I honestly think the reason he asked to go other than driving me was to meet this doctor. 

I think the doctor gives Rick some comfort too because Rick has no control, he just sees me ill and blowing up before his eyes. He has a need to fix it all. He can't. He doesn't like to see me in pain, I get that too. So I will be honest here and tell you I lie a lot to him. I know him well enough to know not being able to fix me bothers him. Not being able to make me laugh or feel better bothers him. Only Rick can see me vomiting and make me laugh. He has a knack. I love him for it but I also know he is doing that from fear. 

I get it. I wouldn't wish to be in his shoes either. I prefer being the sick one to watching him be very ill.

I think Rick just needed this visit to the dr.'s office as odd as that may sound to you. He got answers to questions he has asked me and I know that gave him a bit of comfort as well.  

I did see in the notes on my chart online that my vision was 20/20, then 20/25, then 20/200. I am not certain where I am now. But I know that it feels as if they took one layer of gauze out from in front of my eye so I do see better. Heaven's not great, but I can see shapes now. I can see faces but not clear. All good signs. 👍 As it states on my online chart, "desperately trying to save her eyesight"

For some reason, they dilated my eyes when I arrived. Both. 

I could not see shit by the time I left. 

I told her that my left eye didn't get dilated. But she insisted. When the doctor came in he went, 'Aaah. I'm sorry that should not have been done."  

I know but no one listens to me, what do I know, I'm just the guinea pig.

We walked to the car after our visit and I thanked Rick for driving me. 

He reminded me that Mrs. Magoo shouldn't drive. 

He asked if I was up for the market. 

Of course! I didn't care if I had to stop and vomit, I was going!

Now walking around 30k sq ft with it all in a blur was a trip. 

But those gorgeous hydrangeas at the top of this post I bought today. 

I could have seen them from a block away. HUGE big stocks. 

I got a couple hydrangeas of different colors, a tree to plant where Izzy lay every morning in the front yard, (our Izzy tree) we got flowers to plant as well as food and we had to stop. We could spend more money at a farmer's market than anyone would ever believe.  I'll be back in about 2 weeks. 

I had my 'eye' on things. The cost is so unbelievable as well. 

I got these HUGE hydrangeas for only $20. 

The size of these would be 3 x that at a nursery or Lowes/Home Depot. 

I know because I just priced them & I got some very healthy fat stock geraniums.  4 large pot geraniums for $28 or $8 each. Of course, I got 4 to make one HUGE pot on my porch. 

I had to stop a few times and once I leaned on a corner of one of a booth.

There was no one in the booth or so I thought. A woman popped up from what seemed to be out of the floor and startled me.

This young lady was so damn funny. She was eating licorice and offered me a piece. I can't eat licorice (wheat is in it - weird right?) 

She tried to convince me it was fresh and so good - "C'mon have some" she kept offering. Honestly, I don't like to walk around saying, "I can't have gluten" So I just said, "Not up to eating right now just had my eyes dilated and feeling a bit off"  Which was all very true. 

Well, I think that me talking to her just opened the flood gates of her stories and the "God bless her" stuff. She was funny. She gets nauseous when she has her eyes dilated she tells me. Then off she goes...I know about her father's cancer and her sister's arm surgery and how she couldn't wipe her butt. She was a pistol. 

I said nothing!  She just asked about me eating a piece of licorce and off she went. My God, she was a hoot. So funny and so southern it was hard to understand her. A few times I said, "pardon me?"  She laughed and said, "do I have an accent to you?"  I just smiled and said, "you sure do!"  

My Lord did she have a twang. I ended up buying some veggies from her.  Told her I'd be back in 2 weeks and I'd be able to see her better. 

She will be my last stop though because she won't let you go once you get to her booth.

I said to Rick when I caught up with him to not stop at that corner because that woman won't let him leave. I began to tell him that I said no thank you for licorice and now I know her family history, bless her heart. 

Well after I said the 'bless her heart' he laughed so hard he began to cough. He found that so funny. That's why I said it. I hate that phrase and to me it's offensive but it's their schtick. 

Yesterday was a good day all in all.  

Hair still on head. 😃

Wallpaper at 3:00AM Anyone?

Oh, c'mon you knew I'd be here eventually. 

Between the hours of 2-5:30a, I am wide awake and not so sick. 

I can't make noise and keep Rick up that isn't fair but I have the energy and I don't feel entirely sick so I want to move and do things. I do not feel ill until 60-90 minutes after my a.m. pills. Then I am ill again until around 10-11pm. (Except Sundays. Sundays are double-duty days and double the meds so all bets are off.)

One night I put wallpaper on the back of bookcases we're building around the fireplace. I put this peel and stick grasscloth on the back of the cabinet so when the back goes on and I get the shelves in there will be a color behind them. Did I explain that right?  A pic will be posted when this is done anyway. Anyway - That job was quiet and I was able to have it finished by the time Rick woke up. By that time I am down for the count with being ill, he can do what he needs because they were done. 

Back to being wide awake with nothing to do - everything makes noise. 

I am always freezing now. I mean freezing. It's 72 degrees and I am wrapped up like it's 15 degrees. I can't get warm right now. My arms tingle like frostbite and yet it is so warm outside. We never have the heat above 68 and if it were set at 75 I think I'd be fine right now. Who am I?

I made some decaf one night for something warm and he smelled the coffee. The man sleeps like a rock through his horrific snoring. The coffee wakes him!  The door was closed to the bedroom and I wanted something warm. So decaf it was.

The kitchen is in the front of the house and the master is in the back. 

I thought it would be fine. But apparently, that smell brought him out to the kitchen because he thought it was time to get up. Oops. We laugh about that now. I mean why didn't he look at his bedside table clock? It was still dark out. But who knows why Rick does the things he does and doesn't do. He didn't have to bend so I guess that was somethin'. 

When he realized what he had done he just turned around and walked back to bed at 3am and waved his hand to me and said nothing.

I chuckled & sat down to enjoy some warm decaf while trying to get warm.

Mind you I wear a long sleeve T of Rick's, an oversized Rick hooded sweatshirt over that, fleece pj's and if I could wear a hat and scarf I would.

Because I have Dish all the primetime shows are automatically recorded/DVR'd on the 4 networks. I don't have to DVR anything on those channels. If I don't watch them live then they are in a folder for me to watch later. They are put in a folder and I go through it to see if there is anything on NBC, ABC, CBS or FOX that I may have missed between 8 - 11p. 

I didn't wish to watch the academy awards live this year but I did want to see the women be the hosts. I did want to see if CODA, my favorite movie in many many years, would win. And my man Troy certainly didn't he?

I went to the prime time folder and decided to watch a bit and then I can FF through what I just don't care about.

I was livid when Regina Hall did her frisking bit with Jason Mamoa and Josh Brolin. It angers the living shit out of me when Ellen DeGeneres does this as well. If a man did what all of these women did they would be livid!! Loudly vocal and livid! I was talking to my TV while sitting alone in the dark I was so angry that they did this so-called "skit"

It should be no different when you are doing it to a man. It was not the least bit funny and it was uncalled for. Period. So that started my outrage.

They didn't need to go that low to be one of the boys. They could have been just as funny without it. 

Then of course the slap. 

This was pure EGO on Will's part. EGO. 

No class, no respect for where he was at. It was all for show. 

It was EGO. He strutted back to his seat with a smug look on his face. 

He was proud of himself. He shouldn't have been.

Chris Rock was in shock, but handled it with class, and decorum and allowed the show to go on and not give this asshole bully anymore of a forum. He was a perfect gentleman. If not for his composure, this could have been far worse. Would he have done that to Jason Mamoa? 

Yea didn't think so, he was a bully then for sure.

If Will had been really bothered by this he would have spoken to Chris after the show and been a real man about it. He did this for EGO. 

I do not follow these two Smiths. I have no need to keep up with them. 

I do not watch Jada's facebook red table show. I see enough of her crap come over my feed. She talks constantly about her infidelities and boyfriends. I find that disgusting but if they had an open marriage good for them. But keep it at home. Again, why do I need to know this? It's not about your job of movies. Keep your sex life between you two behind closed doors. But no, she talks about it non-stop. 

That is why when Ricky Gervais said when asked what he'd have done, "Oh I wouldn't have made fun of her hair, I'd have talked about her boyfriends" 

I loved him even more!

Now I do not believe that Mr. Rock knew she had alopecia. 

I didn't and I see all that shit about her boyfriends but not about her hair. 

I knew she shaved it from time to time but that isn't unusual. She's beautiful and can pull it off so I didn't think much more of it. 

So her reaction to me was so far off the mark it was sickening.

In 2009 I saw a documentary by Chris Rock called Good Hair. 

It was about hair in the Black community. The story has it that this was prompted by a question from one of his young daughters. (He only has daughters) So this explores the importance of hair in black culture. He interviews celebrities, visited hair salons, how they make wigs, visited an Indian temple to learn about their hair culture, etc.

Because I have bi-racial nieces and a nephew I hear about their hair dramas and I wanted to see this and then talk to them about it. We have had many discussions about their hair a great many times so I wanted to see this for my own ignorance. 

It was very good. So I firmly believe if Rock knew she had alopecia he would have been supportive just from his doc about it you knew he understood. Besides he was married and has 2 daughters. 

He didn't know. 

If he had made fun of Dr. Phil's bald head would that have been okay or could Dr. Phil go up and punch him because he has alopecia? 

Now I get having a comedian hit too close to home. I admit that at times when I hear about the gluten-free jokes I get it and I normally laugh. But as you know I don't do it for a fad or a diet. I do it because there is no cure for celiac and I have to do this to live. Food is my only cure right now. I admit sometimes those jokes hurt but if I'm being honest they are funny too so you know it's a joke and not meant to be mean just to me, you have to laugh and move on. I have never hit anyone. 

Another thing that struck me while watching this award show was that when he did his mea culpa complete with tears speech he sounded like a Scientologist. Is he? I rewound and listened again. Oh, yea. Then the next thought was, Peg you're watching too many docs on Scientology. (yes I have!) But I swore it was taken from their textbook on how to talk to the media. It was creepy.   So I immediately text my girlfriend and realize that after I hit send it was 3am and I prayed her phone was not next to her bed.

In a later decent morning hour, my girlfriend text me and said she didn't know if he was. Why did I think that? I explain.  

But in the meantime, there are a lot of things on the web that says they are and then they aren't. I think they are or were. Those words were Ron Hubbard if I ever heard them. I can't get a definitive answer but where there is smoke...

I hope this will affect Chris Rock's career in a positive way.

I also hope it will affect Will in a responsible way to teach him something and knock him off his smug hill. 

The whole, "what we do for love, was utter bullshit." 

It was so trump like it was sickening!

Excuses for bad behavior.

The next day, as I lay dying, (how's that for dramatic) on the sofa I saw Wanda Sykes on Ellen discussing how Chris apologized to her and the other two women for ruining their night. It was supposed to be about them, not him he told them. She said he was so nice and so kind to everyone for feeling like he ruined their night. He did not. 

As Wanda said, "Will Smith ruined everyone's night" 

Our society is so damned messed up.  

I read this blog post from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I thought he was spot on!

If you are so inclined, here is the link.  And that is the last on that topic. 

Monday Monday

My days are filled with a lot of things but fun isn't one of them of late.

Doctor appointments and the dreaded what fits today's dilemma.

I go back to Duke tomorrow morning. If I can fit in the door.

I have lost all control apparently. This is not in my hands. I know that mentally but why doesn't my mind change easily then? 

I can't control the changes happening to my body, good or bad, and I, because I am a control freak find this hard to let go. I am trying. 

Old dog - new tricks - you know how it is.

Yesterday was a bad day because it was like a bicycle pump had been attached to my index finger and Rick pumped me up. I have a moon face. NOTHING fits. I had to leave the house and I could only wear my bathrobe it appeared. 

I kept a couple of tops from when I was fatter and that is all that fits and it's too hot to wear them. This is not good. Someone in the comments told me to buy muu-muus. I don't want a muumuu, I feel like that is giving up on life but it may just be what I have to do. Where the hell do you find muu-muus? Muu-muus R US?  I no longer have cheekbones or a jawline. My neck is so thick it is most uncomfortable. And each day I ask myself, this is really the only way to save my eyesight? Wow.

End of whining - for now.

I am going to answer some comments here so ya'll see 'em. And because I don't have much today in the gas tank.

1. Jean, "men's leather high tops' are sneakers like this. I think you read the word pants instead of shoes and hence your confusion. Or you were making a joke and it went over my head. :-)

2. Olga, You must have Don try these shoes below. 

I wrote about them and I think I made bluzdude a convert. www.kizik.com

Rick of course loves them. I do not own them but certainly, see the advantage. 

I want to buy a pair for my 80 yr old mom because I think she would like this slip-on aspect but still have a solid shoe for her support.

I think I need to make a commission. This will help Don with the bending over tying of his shoes, heaven forbid!

3. Bluzdude, he had sock issues too until he got new socks. His old short ones didn't like to stay on when removing his foot. Now he has new pairs that work. Those bombas did not work for him just FYI. But everyone we know says they are da bomb and work for them perfectly.

*So it appears to me that not bending is in the retirement handbook that I never received. I am still bending. Until I am a complete weeble which should be soon the way things are going.  Weebles wobble but they don't fall down! or apparently bend.

Here are some Monday Memes.

The other evening I was so wired at 3am that I could have wallpapered the house. It was awful. When the doc said 'sleep disturbances' I guess that is what he meant.

This came up in my feed and it reminded me of Abby over here.

If you don't get it that is fine. Abby will. 

Just like the meme says - it took me a minute to get this one below.

Rick sent me this that he received in his feed because he thought it was so like me each time Izzy was sick and couldn't climb the stairs to our bedroom. 

Or after surgery. 

I was the one who slept with her downstairs and held her paw. 

It calmed her enough to sleep and that was what I was going for. 

He has a picture of me like this somewhere.

 It's that time of year when Cadbury Eggs appear. 

I discovered this Cadbury egg in 1979-1980 ish. Got stranded in the air due to a snowstorm and we couldn't land in Buffalo. Imagine that. We were diverted to Syracuse where we were stranded for hours. The only thing to eat was junk. I got one of these new things and oh my God were they good. This was when they were not American made and the chocolate was FAR better. A young child flying alone was crying and scared. All passengers tried to entertain her and keep her from being scared of being alone. A jazz musician (Chuck Mangione) was on the plane with his band and they made puppets from the barf bags and entertained this scared little crying girl. We all got her food and tried to keep her happy. She and I tried the Cadbury eggs and her eyes lit up. I never forgot that day. A quick flight home of 1.5hr from a wedding from Newark to Buffalo lasted 11 hours and a sugar high.

 

Too Soon?

Bending Over

I saw a pair of his men's leather high tops and I asked Rick, "would you wear those anymore?"

He looked so serious in thought and then said in all seriousness, "Oh, heavens no, I'm done with all that bending over shit"

You don't want to bend over?

Is this where we are now?

He said, "It's where I live now."

So there ya go. Apparently he is no longer bending. 

My God this old fool cracks me up.