Door Knobs and Fire Ants

Once when Rick and I were in Jamaica we watched these two men paint a door. Just 1 door. It took them three days. They were at the end of a pier under a gazebo. I guess for the shade?  We could see them from our balcony also when we were on the beach. 

It made us laugh at how slow they were going. 

Then when everyone left the gazebo on the last day we decided to go down there and sit on the lounge chairs under said gazebo. When we got down to the gazebo there was a big FAT joint sitting on the arm of one of the chairs. Rick sat in that chair and said, "Hey look!  I think this is why it was taking them so long to paint the damn door"  That made us giggle.

I remembered all that on Saturday as I was painting our backdoor and attempting to put in a new combo lock and new door knob. I did the outside part of the door leading to our back porch in outdoor paint. I did the inside of the door facing the kitchen with regular paint. 2 coats which seemed to take forever to dry. Then I began the new door knob and keyless entry.

I began installing the new lock and door now. 

It is a combo lock/keyless entry so we don't need to dig for the keys as we're holding groceries etc. (or when I almost peed my pants)

We have locked ourselves out before as well so having a combo is far easier for us goofballs. We have a key hidden outside when we do dumb shit like that but hopefully, this combo lock will be far easier in many ways. Fingers crossed I get it installed.

I got the door knob in and the plates on. Everything was easy peasy.

Until I got to the box that houses the batteries to make this sucker work.

I was a bit confused so I got the instructions. While reading the instructions I got more confused. I thought that was what I did. 

Rick asked if he could help me. I said, Sure if you can I'd love it.

We understood the directions but it didn't work like that. I finally gave up and thought I'd try again with a clear head the next day.  

Sunday came and I tried again. Nope.  It doesn't do this. Rick pointed out how the two things we have to press are bent. 

That same Sunday, my neighbor, Bobbi, stopped by to give me a Tupperware container that she went home with food.  

I asked her to see if she read something different than we did. Nope. 

She tried and said it was not working. No kidding. 

The two tabs on the sides appear bent. Yep, we see that too. 

But we did not think trying to straighten them would be good because we could break this whole thing.

So I waited until Monday morning and called them. Because they too thought I was an idiot they texted me a video of how it works. 

Rick and I both laughed. It's exactly what we did but it would not release due to these tabs being bent. 

They told me to call back should there be an issue.

I called back. I asked the nice man if I could try to bend them. He did not recommend that. I said then what should I do? He said it was under warranty and he would send a brand-new kit. Cool. But honestly if under warranty can't I just try to bend them. He didn't recommend this. Hmm..,

I have used this company so many times. They are terrific and their customer service is awesome. They are located in Florida and they all speak the same language as me so they are easy to understand.

Last time I used them I installed 19 of their door knobs, dummy knobs for closets, and regular knobs. (I also changed all the hinges to match)  

I did it all myself before Rick got home one Saturday. 

I wanted it done before he returned from work.

The funny part I think I wrote about years ago was I did them all perfectly except two. And one of the incidents Rick loves to tease me about to this day.

One of my oops was in the powder room, I closed the door and the handle wasn't on yet.  The latched worked though. 

I was in the bathroom looking out the hole and saw Izzy sitting at the door staring at the door where her mom was laughing at herself. 

Izzy knew Mom needed help. I was in there laughing at myself like a damn fool. But the hole had the lever part so I pressed it and got out once I stopped laughing. The other was the pantry door. I put the new hinges on wrong and the door wouldn't close. Again I realized what I had done but I laughed at the easy fix and grabbed my screwdriver just as Rick came in. Damn it!!!  If he had been just a few minutes later he'd have never known I did that. And you all know I have not lived that down!  

He found it hysterical. He likes to say that this was another of my blonde moments. So I didn't think this time was me, but you never know!

The company is sending us a whole new kit because as Jerry said, "These are under warranty for a reason"  Cool. If you ever wish to switch out your door knobs I highly recommend Harney Hardware. The prices are better than Lowes or Home Depot and as you can see they stand behind their products. I am slowly changing all the door knobs in this house too. I just can no longer buy them all at once as I could in my old life. The ones here the previous owner spray painted them. Hideous.

In other news - 

Note to y'all  - do not get bit by fire ants! I've heard of fire ants but to be honest, never knew anything about them. Figured they were red or something hence their name. Didn't know about such pain they delivered.

Look I am a city girl. I prefer pavement. 

Sunday I got to the garden to till. I was eaten alive at 8:30am by mosquitos. God how they love me. Yes, I sprayed myself first. Doesn't matter nothing on me works. Rick says I'm sweet meat. That cracks me up. 

He always tells people if mosquitos bother them to sit by me because they only go for me. Around the firepit once he pointed at me and said to everyone, look at the swarm around her. Yep always around me. 

I got bitten on my face from the garden on Sunday. Oh so pretty.

Later in the afternoon, I was going to begin some weed removal to do some landscaping that is way overdue. I pulled out weeds with my right hand and put them in my left and then it hurt. I dropped them so quickly. I was bitten all over my left hand and my left arm around my wrist and a bit above.

OMG does that ever sting and burn. It bothered me all night. 

Dr. Google said to wash with hot water and put toothpaste all over them to alleviate the burn. Also, take a Benadryl or antihistamine. I did all of the above. The toothpaste really did help the burning by 50%. I only took 1/2 a Benadryl because I know they make me comatose. It helped a little bit.

They are so gross-looking. When Dr. Google said they would become pustules, I about vomited. Lovely picture isn't it? They are still itchy and burning and they look even worse. I wish I could wear a long opera glove on my left hand.

Please just keep me in the city!