Long One

 On June 30th I was released to drive. Yipee.

I have not had pain since my surgery. I had discomfort but no real pain.

When getting up I am more like the evolution chart but each day was better.

Coughing, sneezing, and laughing hurt more than anything. But I felt better than I had in years.

Our angels left on the 1st. 

Rick had some swelling happening on his foot but we weren't that concerned...yet.

Now here is the graphic part - sorry.

I didn't poop on the 1st. I didn't poop on the 2nd.

the cramping and pain were off the charts. Sharp stabbing pains.

I couldn't sleep I was miserable. I called my dr and she said to go to the ER and lucky for me she was on call. She wanted to eliminate any blockage.

I told her I really couldn't leave Rick. He was now unable to walk easily.

His left knee/calf (stroke side) was the size of a sequoia tree trunk. He had full-blown gout in his right foot making walking absolutely impossible.  

He was using a walking stick but now a walker because of the pain.

He told me to go to the ER - he wouldn't move from his chair. He promised.

I went to the ER. CT scan with contrast to see my gut. No blockage. Everything looked like it should. But I did vomit a few times and I was dehydrated. I got anti-nausea meds and I wanted to go home. They wanted me to stay overnight. I refused. I said I had to get home to my husband. 

I was told to take Colace and Miralax and drink a ton of water and to let her know if that worked. I have a 2nd follow-up later this month anyway.

I get home and Rick is on the floor. He had been there for an hour. 

He said he wanted to get up and when he knew his feet couldn't do this he thought he'd try doing what his PT man Nunzio told him should he fall. 

How to get up if he fell in his garden or at home for some reason. But his knee/leg and foot were not letting him do what he had to do.  And in all honesty, I didn't understand how he thought it would work.

I could not lift him.

Now I am not to lift more than 10lbs per my surgeon. 

He is way more than that. But I tried for a long long time.

(I did do damage to the hand that was healing) I tried for so long I was in pain. I had to call 911 to get him up and get him help.

Two snarky bastards came and I said I wanted to go back to the ER. They said what do you think they will do for him? I said he is screaming in pain if a wind blows over these limbs, I want him to be seen, and given pain medication that is what I what them to do!  Begrudgingly these two shitheads drive him to the ER. 

He is given a room and no one comes in. We sit and wait. This is not the hospital he's been at in Raleigh. This is the small hospital I just left near our home. (when I say small It may be big to some but it's not WakeMed in Raleigh or Duke) 

Someone comes into the room and takes an X-ray of his swollen leg. Then someone comes in to do an ultrasound or Doppler on his legs to be sure there are no clots. He asks both for water - they say they will get someone to bring him some. They leave. No water is to be had.

An hour later a woman literally RUNS in and says, "Hi I'm Kat, I'm your nurse. I'll be back later"  Never to be seen again. Now mind you, this place is dead. It's Sunday (July 2nd) a holiday weekend. No one in the ER lobby except 2 ladies. So she acted like she was busy but who knows. We asked for water again and she said someone would bring him some. Yes, we've heard that before. No water was given. I see a sink and paper towels and I wet some and give him that for now to wet his lips at least. 

Rick is cold. No blanket. No pain meds. He is miserable. We are ignored. 

Then someone walks in and says we can go home. WHAT? 

I said how do you expect him to go home when he can't walk at all? He was brought in by ambulance. They shrug. You know, that professional behavior. Ooh, I was getting livid. She comes back and tells me that a case manager can arrange transport for him if I'd like. I said yes. 

3 hrs go by and not a peep from anyone. Rick is off the charts in pain.

I go to the nurse's station and see them all partying. They are eating, feet up on desks, and laughing. 

I turned into a Karen.

The snarky heavy-set blonde thing rolled her eyes when I came up to the desk. That's all she is apparently good for, rolling her eyes and making snarky looks at her peers.  I asked where our transport was. One of them says, "Oh the case manager won't be in until tomorrow."

I lost it. "You mean, You are going to have me sit on that metal chair in that room while my husband is freezing, not admitted, and given no pain medication until some time tomorrow? What the hell kind of medical help is this? Why are you doing nothing for his pain? And why the hell did you leave us sitting in there and not communicate any of this to us before I had to ask? What the hell kind of professionals are you?"

Not one fucking word was said in response. 

I go and tell this to Rick. He says bring me home. I ask how? I can't move you, you can't walk. He says he can do it. I know damn well he can't do it. 

The security guard is a huge guy and he shoves Rick in the backseat of my car.

We pull into our driveway at 12:33pm. Rick tells me how to move him slowly so he can get to the steps that I parked so close to for help. 3 steps.

Rick can't and I lose my grip and he is on the pavement. He was on the pavement until 3am. I tried putting a sheet under him and pulling I got him to the steps. But I couldn't get him up. He couldn't even do an army crawl from pain. I was crying. Rick was screaming in pain. This was inhumane of that damn hospital. I wouldn't want someone to treat my dog like this!!!

I had to call the EMS again for help. (Dear Lord people I don't know how all of this will be paid honestly.)They got here and put him on the sofa. He lay there in misery until Tuesday morning. Because he couldn't go to the bathroom we used a pee container like this for him. 

Luckily I just had surgery so I was given some oxycodone. I didn't take any so I've been giving it to Rick every 4-5 hours. Thankfully that made him constipated so we didn't have to worry about that. But I ran to CVS and got him depends. He was livid. He wouldn't wear them. I begged him to put them on telling him they were like underwear, just in case you do have to go better safe than sorry. He was in too much pain to argue with me thank God. But getting them one was a 30-minute ordeal due to not being able to lift his legs to get them on. Boy, my body was sore, and now my wrist. The dislocation on my wrist was not liking any of this but it wasn't about me I had to plow through. This was breaking my heart. 

I wanted to call EMS again and go to WakeMed. You see the first time the snarky bastards who showed up said Clayton was closer. Yes, but we wish to go to Wake Med, it's only 17 miles away. 

This time when the ambulance got here it was two lovely ladies who couldn't pick me up let alone Rick. They called the fire dept for backup and in comes 3 big muscle men to pick up Rick and get him in the ambulance. We headed to Raleigh.  I followed the ambulance there.

We get in the ER and they are rushing around him. He was given pain meds, and an ortho consult on his knee and they drained his knee to be sure it was gout and not sepsis. This is the hospital that saved his life with his stroke. So they had all this information already. That was so damn helpful. They did tests upon tests, gave him pain meds, and blankets, and took care of him like you'd want your loved one to be cared for. Once he got the morphine, his whole body relaxed and he had a good solid nap for a bit. Seeing his body relax was a blessing to me.

The doctor came in and said, "There is no way you can care for him so I'd like to keep him here for a few days until he is able to walk again is that okay with you?"  

Honestly, that was perfect for me. I knew he was in good hands. I knew I couldn't care for him in the way he should be cared for and I can't lift him. 

Then we had to sit and wait for a room to become available.

I stayed for just over 6 hrs. A nurse came in with the doctor a bit later and said I looked exhausted was I feeling okay? Rick now drugged, jumps in and says, she needs to go home and take care of herself she just had major surgery. The doctor asked what I had done. He told me he was ordering me to go home. Rick was going to be taken care of. They promised me they would call me when he got a room and tell me where etc.

I came home and collapsed. I had a good old-fashioned meltdown and cried a big ole ugly cry. They did indeed call me and tell me where he was and they asked if I wanted to speak with him they would connect me. I spoke to him and he told me the drugs were helping and he told me to get some sleep (I had not slept in days) and I can see him in the morning. (this was all on the 4th of July) 

I got to the hospital today just after 7:30am. I wanted to be sure I caught the doctor.

He has been given a new drug for gout. (he takes allopurinol daily for gout) But this drug is given when you get it to speed up the length of time you have it apparently. He was also given steroids to help with the issue. He was able to move his toes and he hasn't been able to do that in 5 days.  He looked so much better too. The poor man is exhausted from the pain and this whole damn ordeal.  I don't blame him one bit.

OT and PT came in to see him today. They both work in the hospital as opposed to the WakeMed Rehab he was in. The OT person looked so familiar to me. She told us she workrf with him when he was in the Neuro ICU. She was blown away by how far he's come and praised him for his hard work. She did all kinds of testing and then said she would try to see if she could get him back into the rehab part of the hospital for a week or so while he is healing. PT got him to his feet and he took 8 steps all the while wincing and moaning. They got him back to bed.

He was seen while I was there by 2 drs, OT, PT, and nurses. When I walked in he told me his nurse was named Chi-Chi and she was really pretty and very very nice. Good, I'm tired of shitty nurses!! She had such a pretty accent. Rick thought she was from Jamaica but I said it had a different lilt. Finally, we asked. She was from Africa. She was a very tall woman, almost Rick's height. And boy could she whip his body around like a rag doll. It made me chuckle. What I'd do to be that tall and big.  5'1" me doesn't have a chance of whipping him around like that!

I came home early today. I left at 12:30ish. I came home, collapsed on the sofa and fell asleep immediately. I slept for a few hours. Then began to do things like take out the garbage for garbage day, laundry, and honestly I just didn't want to do anything. I am tired. I remind myself I am not being lazy but recuperating. I am still not quite right in the bathroom department but no more pain, just when I laugh, and I'm not doing a lot of that right now.

BUT,  my funny husband told the OT and PT guy and gal about Nunzio who was his PT in rehab who they know. Nunzio was telling me how and where to stand when Rick goes up the steps so that he doesn't fall on me because "he's a big dude and he's going to be heavy on top of you"  I said, "I know, he's been on top of me before"  Nunzio, Rick and I all laughed. 

I didn't wish to share this with 2 of these people who we have not known but for an hour. But of course, Rick is feeling a bit better from being drugged so he shares it. They howl with laughter. (thank God!)

Before the PT man left I ran to the bathroom. I came in and he said, "I asked your husband but I want to ask you, don't look at him. What do you think is the secret to 36 yrs together and all the love and laughter I see between you two?"

I said, "Humor and communication."

He said, "That is what he said!"  

There is no secret. Everybody had to do what works for them. 

All I know is the love of my life is in pain and broken. 

I want to fix him and make it all better.