I promised a story about my miserable family but decided not today.
Let's not go into the mud and muck of toxic people today.
As they say on The Marvelous Mrs Maisel - 'Tits up!'
(meaning go forward and hold yourself up high)
I began my day calling SS for some help in getting a care giver to assist me.
I wanted to see how many hours a week I can get. I have doctor appointments and other reasons to have to leave the house. But I can't do that right now since I can't leave Rick. God I need a hair cut but that's low on the list of priorities but still...Grocery shopping, getting gas, going to the drs etc.
I am also trying to figure out how to get Rick's glasses tightened. If you recall the ER lost them and I got him news ones. I picked them up while he was in the ICU. He has not had them fitted and they are constantly rolling down on his nose. Gout still not ready for going to Costco.
I called SS this a.m. and was on hold for 90 minutes and then a recorded voice came on and told me to call back on Tuesday, a lighter day. So much for that. I also called a young man who neighbors have raved about for hauling. We have a pile behind Rick's wood pile that must be hauled away. It's just a mess and this was on Rick's list the week of his stroke. He asked for pictures and he would give me a quote.
I've lost my handyman and will now have to pay for things like others do. Boy was I lucky!
Are you all aware of affirm or after pay? You can buy things on layaway type situation. It reminds of me of QVC, "for 5 easy payments"
Same concept. You get your goods and you pay for it monthly with no interest. It's been a game changer for me in my poor life now.
We have used it a few times. After it's paid off then and only then can I think about another thing we may need. This time it's a mattress.
Our mattress has been shitty for years. We had a tempur pedic back in the day. It lasted until it's warranty was up. It lasted 10 years I swear to the day. It was one of the first tempu pedics. We got it in 2000. By 2010 it was shot. Divets where each slept. Because you can't turn them over you can only spin them we did that for years. But finally got rid of it.
The next one was worse. It lasted 5 yrs. Then onto another one.
It lasted about the same amount of time but we're still using it sadly.
Neither of us can take it so we decided to look for a new one. Prior to Rick's stroke we picked the one we wanted but the price was high and we wanted to wait a bit longer. The time came, they sent an email announcing the July sale. It would save me just over $480. So I decided to bite the bullet and I did it on payment plan of 8 months with no interest. How can I pass that up? I should have the new mattress in a week or so. Hopefully that young man who hauls stuff will take our old mattress too.
It's not going to be easy to do this alone but I have to try. Me carrying a king mattress. Or me dragging a king mattress to another location. It's my new life now. We used to do this together so all 5 foot of me will have to figure it out. I am shocked at myself at some things I just never do so now I don't know how. Like work the grill. I mean you go out there and hold one button and press another to start right? But I never ever grill, that has always been Rick's domain. Just like he's never done a million things around this house including paying bills which is my domain. Now it's all mine and I'm doing the best I can but I suck at some of this stuff. Like putting this shower seat together. Oh how I should never have let him do all this. I need to know stuff too.
My weekend was waiting on Rick, cleaning, laundry and moving rugs. Because now he uses a walker instead of his walking stick so area rugs are a major pain in the ass. So I washed the ones that can be washed and got them out of his way. But the steroids Rick is taking is making him hungry. As I mentioned in a previous post, he has lost just over 40lbs. The way he was eating yesterday I told him he will gain it quickly. He ate 3 meals and ice cream. He hasn't eaten that much food since May 21st.
Because of my surgery sleep has been difficult for me. I couldn't lay on my side or tummy and that is how I normally sleep. Laying on my back keeps me awake. I am working on fumes. I slept 2 hrs on Saturday. I was miserable on Sunday. I was a walking zombie. But last night I got some serious sleep. Rick gets up a lot at night we are thinking due to the steroids. He is peeing constantly. Of course I wake up and make sure he gets to the bathroom and back. When I hear him softly snoring I can go back to sleep - I hope. Last night I did. I woke up a lot but I fell back to sleep. I also could sleep on my one side so that was so very helpful.
I am having some issues from surgery that I did not had at the beginning.
I see my doctor on the 27th so we shall see. I hope it's all nothing because I can't take much more of anything at this point. I am holding it together by a very thin thread.
Rick has a doctors appt tomorrow and again with his new A-Fib doctor on Tuesday. I have a calendar of appointments so my new job is chauffeur. They moved all his rehabs to a WakeMed location 3 miles from us instead of 18 miles from us at the main campus. That will make things better for me anyway. But it's not about me, we hope it's the same level of care. It's WakeMed so it should be. Funny name for a hospital isn't it? I guess it's because of Wake, being in Wake County, and Med being medical. Only thing I can think of but who knows.
And like the rest of the country it has been opressively hot. Today it is cool in comparison. So Rick is going to sit on the patio while I cut his hair today. He needs to get cleaned up for his appointments. He asked me what I thought about taking off all his facial hair again. I said do whatever it is you want. It's your face. (I do prefer him with hair on his face but he has so little choices these days of what he wants so I told him to do whatever his pea pickin' heart wanted which made him chuckle)
It's only going to be 88 degrees today. It's overcast and dreary and I don't mind. Keep the sun behind those clouds!!
Sadly, the rest of the week will be high 90s again with high 90+% humidity.
I do not like summer. Least favorite season here. Give me spring, fall and winter and you can keep summer. I just need 75 degrees and we don't have that in summer that is spring and fall and a few winter days.
Thank God for air conditioning but then its a culprit causing global warming. Not a good cycle is it? Are you using your air right now? Or are you lucky enough to live in a cool climate? Are there still cool climates with global warming?
Inquiring minds want to know.
12 comments:
Oh, yes, the early days of adjusting to being a family caregiver. Social Security 0r Medicare never paid a dime towards any kind of home care or respite for Don. (Times could have changed since then, God knows the Democrats have been fighting for it). The best I could ever find is a day care for adults where I could have (but didn't) drop him off. Though I knew two guys who went and liked it. When I need something like a haircut I loaded Don up in the truck, gave him a bottle of water, a urinal and something to entertain him while I was inside and that's the way it worked for 12 1/2 years. Grocery shopping I took him along with his wheelchair. You will adapt where you can and shed a few tears along the way but you will eventually get through this hard part of the learning curve. In the meantime borrow my mantra: care giving is not for sissies! I repeated it often in the first six months. It gave me strength to do what I had to do.
Jean, because I have short-term care and long-term care insurance both with home health care I have submitted a claim for help. They will reimburse me so much per month with no waiting period for my short-term care.But it's 4-6 weeks to wait for the claim to be approved or denied.
Once short-term is exhausted it rolls into long-term care. No waiting for reimbursement they claim. (doubtful) To me it's utter bullshit to have to wait 4-6 weeks to approve. Rick will never ever do day care he is difficult that way. I would do the same regarding a hair cut but it's 99 degrees here and I am not sure I wish to leave him in the car with the car running so he has air. I don't know how we will pay for all this we were tight before.
no, it's not for sissies. But it is for the rich.
Not sure what you may have in your area, but here there are numerous volunteer organizations that should be available to help you in some capacity. Our senior center provides volunteer drivers for appointments and sitters so caregivers can leave for short periods. Our gap insurance also covers this type of thing plus daily or weekly visits from nurses (something like Visiting Angels) to help with personal care or medical checkups. I would suggest googling "Community Stroke Resources" or something similar or call your local Senior Center or your library reference desk. Any of these should be able to point you to people who can help you. Many services should be free or income based. Seems like the hospital should have provided you with this kind of info. I can't imagine there's not at least some free help for you guys. I'm sure you're eligible for some help, you'll just need to figure out how to access it. Some beauticians will also come to your house to cut your hair--you just have to ask.
Also remember:
Adulting is hard!
Senioring is worse!
I seem to remember that when you get a new mattress, they haul the old one away. I hope that’s the case for you. And yeah, hospitals often have a social worker for patients, so hopefully they have resources to share. Also, after a hospital stay in some states, there is a period for a home health aide to come help. If you carefully hide any valuables, that may be when you can get a haircut. OR takeRick and the aide with you on any errands. They can sit at a food court, while you get stuff done. Olivia.
You were smart to get short and long term insurance! We didn't have anything bu Medicare and S.S. Hope it all works out. It is bull to have to wait 4 weeks for it to kick in. By then you might not even need it...which they're probably hoping for.
Hang in there, Peg. You got a lot going on and I hope SS can help you out with some assistance. We are roasting out here in Idaho but we don't have to deal with humidity. Thank the fat bassets, we also have a newer A/C so it cools down the house pretty quickly. Take care.
I suppose I should be more alarmed about global warming but here in Canada not too many of us would complain if it were a few degrees warmer.
I hope Rick's transition to homecare goes smoothly with the least amount of stress on both of you.
All the best to you.
Veronika
If you bought the mattress from a mattress place they can take the old one off and put the new one on for you. You need a young man in the neighborhood you can give $10 to to help out ;)
Here's a trick to better your chances of reaching SSA. Call late in the day, maybe 6:30 or 7:00. You may reach a rep on the west coast. It's worked for me in the past. Good Luck. And, forget Monday, Friday is best.
To All who suggested the mattress company would take ours. No, they told us upon ordering they do not take the old one. I got a kid who will haul this thankfully.
Bobi, I've contacted some of these places and I am basically laughed at. I have filled out forms through our short term care for home health but I have to wait 4-6 weeks. I have yet to speak to someone at SS, maybe tonight. It will work out and NO one comes to your house here!
Olivia, Rick is going with me to get my hair cut. He said he'd be fine if he came with me. So we shall see.
Jean, smart? Not so much. We watched my parents pay 70K/yr for shitty care for my grandmother. But it's all they could do. Knowing we had no children we got this insurance at age 40 when it was cheap for us. So for 28 yrs it never went up in price.($208) It just did by $21 a month this last month. Hopefully it will pay off. We shall see.
Mr Shife - thanks!
Ronnie, I'll trade ya. I'd do most anything for 65 - 75 degrees but I have to wait until November.
Julie - see above
Barbara - good tip!! I'm calling tonight.
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