Grab a Beverage, It's a Long One

Things you need to know or be reminded of when you read this post.

1. I have a couple autoimmune diseases. Stress will make them flare up big time so the pain I am referring to is just the normal stuff I deal with, no need to panic.

2. We moved in on Wednesday. Movers left our home at 3pm

3. Rick is directionally impaired and sometimes doesn't even listen to the GPS. He is stubborn beyond belief and directionally impaired. He doesn't have to ask for directions, he'll get there, a week, a month, but damn it he'll get there.

4. Rick NEVER listens to most and always says, "I don't remember you or them saying that. He NEVER pays attention, at least for long unless it's sexual. Oh then he can focus, but I digress... I suggested he be tested for dementia one day after he did this 5 minutes after I showed him something and he told me he has never seen it. He has been like this since I met him in 1987, but it has grown and seems worse or he is just getting too damn lazy. I think it's the latter.

5. Rick doesn't think things through. Oh I don't mean like at work or when he is working with wood or things like that. For example if you were packing say for 30+ days in a hotel before you could have the rest of your clothes don't you think you may put in a couple of items for cooler weather that is coming? I heard you women say yes. Rick never thinks like that. I saw that he didn't do that and I put in a sweatshirt, a nice long sleeve shirt and his jeans. Imagine how delighted he was that he had those at the 55 degree 6a walk. :-) 

6. Streets signs are as rare here as snow!!

I have been unable to sleep due to pain. Friday night I feel asleep in Rick's chair because it was the only place that didn't hurt too badly. I have not slept more than 2 hrs a night. Rick left me there sleeping in his chair since I was actually sleeping. He and Izzy went to bed. I awoke at 10:30p. I took a couple of Tylenol and went to bed. But the pain while lying in bed was too much, so back to the chair I went.

Now I am fully awake. I put my headphones on and watch tv so I don't wake Rick. I fall asleep around 2a. I recall this because the show 'Mom' was coming on and I thought oh good something to watch that won't take mental effort. I awoke at 2:15a and honestly thought I had slept for hours. It was like this all night.

I finally dosed off around 5a. Izzy woke me at 6:30a. I was really hurting that morning and I was hungry. Nothing but condiments left in the house. I asked him about the Sheetz he saw the other day. I asked him if he would fetch some eggs and sausage or something for breakfast and I'll shop for us later?  He said, "Sure it's only 5 minutes away" 

Did you all hear that in blogger land only 5 minutes away!

Rick and Izzy hopped into the car. It was somewhere between 7 and 7:10a. Izzy loves a car ride and she ran to the car without morning poo or breakfast. I thought he was crazy and said so and he said, "It's only 5 minutes away Margaret, I got this."

I brush my teeth and get ready for my day. I make myself some coffee and cuss at all the damn boxes that I swear are multiplying at night.  As I enjoyed my coffee I see Rick's phone on the coffee table. Oh Oh. Well he said it was only 5 minutes away. He knows where it is.

TWO, yes 2, hours later I am freaking out. I'm pacing. I text my dear friend Katie. I needed to talk this out. I just knew he was lost. But then the dark shit enters your brain like what if he's been in an accident. His license says our old home and he doesn't have his phone so the paramedics couldn't see the name "wifey" in his phone contacts. He could be at a hospital and they can't find next of kin. I mean all that crap goes through my head. Then I remember that Izzy is there too and her collar we had made with stitching of her name and Rick's cell phone number. If one was smart enough one would hope to call that number and I'd answer his phone. That at least made me think, then no news is good news and the dumb shit is just lost.

Rick can't find his way out of a box. So with no google maps on his phone who knows if he is still in North Carolina. Then I remembered a conversation we had in the parking lot at the hotel. His maps on his phone were behaving strangely. I said you know the Garmin GPS that we used to use still works perfectly and it's in the console right here. I showed him. 

He said, "Okay but my phone will come back."  

That made me feel better for a minute because I thought he may not be lost, but wait he probably won't remember that conversation from a whole week ago. I know him. The ass is probably in South Carolina lost with a friggin' GPS in his car. 

All I know for certain at this point is that we are close to 3 hrs now that he's been gone and I am seriously flipping out. If he does come home I figured I'd be the one to kill him.

At just past 10 he pulls in  - 3 hours later! (It's only 5 minutes away)

Izzy instantly got out of the car and pooped on the front lawn. Poor dog. When I got close to him I hit him. I asked if he realized how worried I was. He knew and he apologized. I hit his arm one more time before I hugged him. Just because.

Then I heard what happened and then found it typical and funny...now that he's safe and home.

He really thought the Sheetz gas station/convience store was on the same corner as CVS and Walgreens. I said it is, but you have to turn left.  He laughed so I knew he did not turn left. He went north into Raleigh, turned around and went south to Clayton (south of us) then 40 more minutes south west of that. No where near our home!  He was frustrated as all hell.

He saw another Sheetz so he went inside and asked "the mouth breather" (his words not mine) if they sold maps. 

He tilted his head like the RCA dog (yes I'm that old - google it) and just said, "maps?"  Rick explained what a paper map was and he replies, "I have no idea what you need man"  

Okay, I must make a turn here in the story. 

I never used an abacus but I knew what they were. WTH is wrong with young people?

Rick left the mapless store and saw a man at the gas tanks. 

He asked him hiw to get to the main street before you turn for our house. The man walked him through it. For once, Rick, who never ever listens completely and fully, did listen to ALL the instructions this time. 

He got home and I asked, "why did you not use the GPS in the console?"

He just stared at me as his mouth dropped open. 

I asked, "do you remember our parking lot of the hotel conversation about it?" He answered yes sheepishly. Then he laughed so hard he had tears. Then he called himself an ass and I said I didn't disagree. 

He said, "Oh God, I am never living this down am I?" 

"No sir!" 

"OMG the gps was in the damn car, duh. I'm an idiot." 

"You get no agrument from me Rick"😁

So there ya go. No street signs, Rick never listens, He also can't find his way out of a paper bag so this makes for an adventure that none of us wanted him to take.

But he did get eggs and breakfast was good!