Insomnia

As usual, I am dealing with some insomnia.
When I was a teenager I could have slept my life away but now I would be thrilled for 6 solid hours of sleep every other night.

Last night I was watching old sitcoms on TVLand like Roseanne and Home Improvement.
The last one I watched at 4:30a.m. was Home Improvement.
The episode was from two points of view.
The parents were having difficulties with discipline and punishment and the difference in parenting each child.
The middle son felt he was being punished for the sins of his brother before him and the younger one. He felt that was so unfair. And rightly so.

This got me thinking about a time when I was young and how I didn't ever understand my parent's crazy logic about their discipline for me.

When I was a senior in high school I was 18.  I had a job working at the local pharmacy as a pharmacy tech.  I worked weekends and this particular weekend I am about to tell you about was a Sunday.  I had to be at work at 9am.
In the meantime my family is having their breakfast, getting ready to go to church, etc.

That morning my father came into the bathroom as I was brushing my teeth and held a small pipe and a bag of pot in front of me and said, "What is this?"
I about swallowed my toothbrush! 

I said, "I don't know" like an idiot with what I assume was probably a deer in the headlight look on my face.
My father then walked out of the bathroom.
Ooh, I was glad I was going to work at that very moment.
My mind was spinning.

My father was at the kitchen table with this sitting in front of him.
I had to walk by him to get to the garage where the car was.
Oh, I didn't want to go down the hall but I couldn't be late.

As I got to the kitchen my father asked me again what this was.
He knew what this was why did he keep asking me this question?
I asked, "Where did you get that Dad?"
And he spilled his guts.

Apparently very early that morning before we older kids were up my youngest of sisters (toddler) pulled my sister's (who we will refer to as PM, age 15) purse handle that was hanging off the desk in the kitchen. Out fell these items. 
Quickly I said to my Dad, "Well I am sure those do not belong to PM. I would bet she is hanging on to this for her friend Paula. You know how Paula is Dad and PM is always protecting her and trying to keep her out of trouble." 

That statement was true. But I didn't say it for its truth.  My dad really didn't care for Paula. He thought she was too "fast" whatever that meant.  She was always in some kind of trouble and she did get caught once with pot.  So my quick on my feet thinking was blame Paula to keep my sister out of trouble. I thought it was brilliant.

My father appeared to be buying this b.s. from me.
Hey, I'm pretty clever and good at this I thought.
It appears to be much easier to think like this when it's not you that is backed into a corner.
He asked more questions and then said, "You better get going before you are late for work."
I never got to the car so quickly before in my life. 

As I drove to work I began to wonder why Dad didn't just wake PM up after he thought it came out of her purse.  I also wondered how the hell I could reach my sister and tell her the story that I had just told our Dad.  It was important we be on the same page. 

When I got to work I tried calling home thinking she would answer the phone next to her bed. But no!  My father kept answering the damn phone. Thankfully there was no caller ID back then.  Too bad there weren't cell phones so I could have just called my sister. Boy, that could have saved a lot of grief.

I continued to call several more times.  

Seriously I called a dozen times easily.
My parents kept answering the damn phone.
I finally had to give up.  
The pharmacy wasn't opened very long on Sunday. I got home late afternoon as my family was sitting down to a Sunday dinner.  I went to my room to change my clothes and it was like nothing had happened.  3 of my sisters were playing out in the yard and PM was not home. 
I thought that was odd that she wasn't home. Didn't she get in any trouble?  Wow. Who is that man sitting out there who looks like my father?  Maybe I was better than I even thought I was.  I'm going to have to remember that bit about telling Dad it's a friend who he already doesn't like. It seems to be a winner.

As I sat down at the Sunday dinner table everything seemed normal.
My stepmom asked me about work.  I asked where PM was and she said, "oh she's gone over to so & so's house for the afternoon they were going to go horseback riding."

Well, that is cool.
Just as I'm thinking I'm one smart chick my father says to me, "So young lady why did you lie to me?"
WHAT?  My heart began beating so fast and I swore it was beating rapid-fire and incredibly loud like a drum solo.  Oh no....let me have a heart attack right now was my only thought.

He proceeds to tell me that "Your sister told me this was hers.  She flushed it all down the toilet and I threw away that damn pipe.  She said she just wanted to try it but didn't get a chance to. It wasn't Paula's.  Why would you lie like that to me Peggy?"

I said, "I didn't really lie I thought it probably was Paula's. I knew PM didn't do that stuff Dad"

"But you didn't know if it were Paula's so you made that up, isn't that a lie Peggy?"

I didn't even bother to try to explain I knew I was going to be in trouble here.
He went on, "You are the oldest you should know better (if only i had a dollar for each time I heard that line)  PM had the decency to tell us the truth. We are taking the car keys from you for one week for lying to us like that."

Oh, how I protested once that was said but it only got worse.  

If I had just shut up. But no I had to try to save my arse.  Didn't work.
The more I tried to defend myself the angrier my father got and he tacked on another week.
I never did learn to just shut up or not be a smart ass.  Spent my life grounded or in trouble for being a smart ass. (nothing has really changed there)

I got grounded for 2 weeks for trying to help my sister and yes I did lie to my dad.
But my sister had pot and paraphernalia for heaven's sake!
My father even bought her lame story about wanting to try it and her dramatic gesture of throwing it down the toilet.  Oh brother.
But I tell a little lie and I'm grounded.  Wasn't that sisterly love he always talked about for Pete's sake?  I learned what the phrase, Damned if you do and damned if you don't, meant that very weekend.

That night when my sister came home I told her what I walked into when I came home from work.  She apologized to me for getting me grounded. 

She said she was sorry but she didn't know I had told them that. She told me how Dad kept saying, "If this is Paula's don't protect her."  She thought it was odd that he kept bringing her up but she just assumed it was because he didn't like her and he wanted it to be Paula's and not her stash.
He never even told her that I am the one who told him that.
Because Dad disliked Paula so much and PM liked hanging around with her she felt it would be better to tell him the truth. This way she and Paula could remain friends.
And luckily for her Dad bought the rest of her dumb ass story. (gee do I sound bitter?)

It was so typical of our life growing up.  Just like on Home Improvement.  What was good for one child wasn't good for the other. As a child, I sure didn't get this logic. I'm the oldest I got in trouble for everything I did and didn't do.

We laugh about this story all the time now. PM likes to tell everyone how I couldn't get away with anything ever and she got away with almost everything. Trust me she did. There are several of these types of stories. Not with illegal substances but her doing something and me being punished because I should know better scenarios.

Do you treat and discipline each of your children with different rules and punishments?