Merry Christmas

My husband always likes to ask people, “Do you remember what you got for Christmas last year”

You see it bothers him that we put so much importance and stress on ourselves for gifts that no one remembers. Oh, it’s not that he doesn’t want to give. He loves to give.

It started like this...
He pointed out to an old friend of mine who each and every year makes a list of extravagant things (usually jewelry) she wants from her husband to buy her.
(she collects and doesn’t wear or go anywhere)
When she was asked this question by Rick she couldn’t remember a single thing.
She couldn’t remember a thing that her husband, who is on disability, saved to get her.
That was his point exactly.

Rick has asked this question to a lot of people and there has only been 1 person who could list what they got a year or two before.
Of course he never says to that person, “See you didn’t need that”
He normally just smiles and they ask him if he remembers and the conversation goes that direction.
It genuinely upsets him that people can’t remember. He feels that maybe once again we are so selfish and self entitled that we can’t even appreciate a thoughtful gift. And that the whole warm family Christmas is gone and replaced with stuff.

I see his point and fluctuate on both sides of that spectrum to be honest with you.

I sincerely don’t recall a single Xmas gift I got as a child.
What I remember is the feeling. The excitement. The family. The traditions.
The warmth and love in the house. I remember my father told me one Christmas Eve that Santa really didn’t like milk with his cookies, he would prefer a beer. So a beer was left for Santa from that year on. I guess I was too young to ask about Santa drinking and driving. That makes me laugh. A few years ago I mentioned that to my Dad and we all got a kick out of it.
My sisters and I never thought a thing of it. That was our normal.  Santa had Kohler beer with his pizzelles (ethnic cookies) at our house.

I remember all the cousins, aunts and uncles visiting and the food and the smells, the party atmosphere for days/weeks and the snow. I have wonderful and I mean truly wonderful memories of my family holidays. But I don’t recall a single present.
I guess that was my husband’s theory at it’s finest.

Many years ago when he asked me that and I couldn’t answer we decided to not buy one another gifts. Thing was he couldn’t either and it really, really bothered him.
At this time we both were fortunate to have great careers and making very good money.
We didn’t have a need and if we did along the way we bought it.
So we decided to do what my father did every year. We would pick a family in need and anonymously buy them something. We got family needs and names from a different church each year. It was fun to get the information of the family and go shopping.
Sometimes it was food as well as a doll for the little girl or lego’s or whatever.
It was always such fun for us.  We hoped it was a fun surprise for them.

Some years we have bought ourselves something together that we wanted for our home.
But mostly during those times we just bought for others and hoped they would remember.
Those were our new traditions and they made us both feel so fortunate and thankful.
Our friends actually thought we were crazy. No gifts for one another?
:Nope just for others", we'd say.  It seemed to upset them and they asked so many questions. Don’t you feel badly on Christmas morning? Hell no!! Doesn’t it upset you that Rick didn’t buy you something? C’mon what did I need?  Besides we made other types of holiday memories that were fun for us. Kick ass homemade eggnog for Christmas eve with great music and dancing with only the lights from our tree. We have made our memories and traditions they are just without gifts. For some reason that freaks people out.

Besides as you all know who have been reading me for any length of time that my favorite holiday is my birthday. We seriously celebrate our birthdays. And I am spoiled every single day in some way by my hubby I don’t need a special gift from him on Christmas.

Fast Forward to today.
We no longer make good money and have lost those jobs like millions of others in our country. 
Times are very difficult right now for us.
It saddens us that we can’t buy for another family this year.
Sadly, I am sure there are more families this year than in the years past who need the generosity of others.

My wish for those families is that they will be able to make their warm memories of love, family and the feeling of Christmas somehow.

I am wishing all my blogger buddies out there a very Merry Christmas.

I hope it is everything you want and need it to be!

Merry Christmas Everybody! – See ya’ll next year.