Life

I guess it’s true that you are born when you were supposed to be born. That you get the parents, children and the pets that your heart was meant to share. That everything in your life has a reason and a purpose. Never really thought about it much but as I age I have begun to see things in my rear view mirror that I think give you a different perspective.

This clarity came to me while watching my tivo’d Mad Men eipisode last night.
I watch these women who have no choices. Who have marriages that do not fulfill them.
Who have children not because they want them but because society makes them feel less if they should ever utter the phrase, “I would prefer not to have children”
Educated women who speak more than 1 language with degrees out the ying yang but to be married must give it all up to deal with laundry, dinners and being arm candy for your upwardly mobile husband. They all seem to be walking depressed pretty zombies. I just wouldn’t have lasted a minute.

I don’t think I could have held my tongue or stayed in “my place” . I don’t think I could have been put into a peg that didn’t feel right for me.
I believe I would have squirmed and wiggled until I was completely and utterly bonkers. I would have been one of those women who had a “breakdown” I guess it was good that I wasn’t born until much later.

While I am an old fart in today’s world I am young enough to have lived to see the fight for women’s rights. Oh sure we have a helluva long way to go but it’s so much better.
I have had choices. I remember in high school when all I ever wanted was to be a disc jokey. For 2 years my guidance counselor told me to get it out of my head. No college for me in communications. I was a girl and I should think about nursing or teaching. I wanted none of either. I continued on my quest. I even took a test that they gave to see what we were suited for. I am sure it a Myers Briggs type of thing back in the day. My test results came back with one of the careers well suited for my personality was disc jockey. That was when the guidance counselor told me that women couldn’t become disc jockeys because they “drone” No one will listen to them so I had to stop this nonsense. He heard about my paper for English class where I interview the “morning mayor” of a local radio station and that while the paper was good (got an A) I had to stop all the foolishness and think about another career. This was the 70’s. A decade after Mad Men and while it was better it still wasn’t great for women.

There are still so many things that we can improve on. Here in 2009 I realize that at age 50 a woman becomes invisible. A Man at 50 is distinguished and sexy.
I also know that today a woman in power or that wants power or to be moving up in her career is considered a bitch, too tough, power hungry and or a lesbian. A man who strives for power in his profession is considered a go getter, driven, and sexy. So you can see that while it is better it’s not quite there yet.

Watching Mad Men sometimes makes me sad for the men too. They are so confused. They would no more engage in their children’s lives than come out of the closet. They have fears of being too soft. They have the stress of being the only bread winner. They can’t be relaxed and be honest. It’s all a show for them too. Today’s man has sometimes gone to far to the feminine side for me but it’s still better than these machismo’s in 1963 any day.

I love the clothes on Mad Men although those pointy bras and girdles would kill me. But then again are Spanx that much different? I love that women dress for shopping. Yea, it’s ridiculous in today’s world but there is something to be said for proper attire in certain situations and arenas. (this goes for men as well but being a woman I will focus there) I miss that. I am not a person who will wear sweats on a plane. I don’t give a shit how long the flight is. That isn’t me. You can be comfortable without looking like you’re traveling in your PJ’s. I’m an east coast gal who believes in dressing. I fit more in NY than LA. Even though I’ve lived in neither. Stacy on What not to Wear would love me just for not traveling and going in public in sweat pants.

So while I bitch about 2009 and it’s lack of civility, manners and just plain ole niceness I believe this is the right time for me to be here. I had a career that those poor women in Mad Men could only dream of. I have a partner in my life and not just a husband. I can wear sweats to go to the grocery store if I wanted to. I can choose to not have children and while there is still a stigma I don’t have to wear a scarlet letter.

All in all I think I was born at the right time for me…..how about you?