Random tidbits about Women

I received a Christmas card on Monday.  I emailed my cousin who sent this and asked if she sent it late. You see she is someone who would mail you a Xmas card in July because she, and she alone, thinks that is funny. So I wondered if it was the mail or she was messing around.

No, on Dec 10th she mailed all her cards. I hope Biden fixes the hot mess that trumpty dumpty screwed up with our postal service. Honestly, that is crazy.

A shout out to Mike here on the blog because he sends me funny memes about short gals. Gee, I don't know why. 

But the last one he wanted me to see I got from 2 other people on the same day. I was hearing Randy Newman in my head singing, "Short people got no reason to live" 

The meme made my husband laugh out loud. 

So apparently all you regular height people think me dragging my chair or in my case, my small ladder in the kitchen is funny. Yeah, but wait until I get those guns, we'll see who's laughing then.

Let's talk some kick-ass women, shall we?

Have you heard about the 90 yr old who walked to get her vaccine on her scheduled appointment time? Seattle got a foot of snow. And like Texas, they can't handle this. They don't have plows and yikes, the hills. So this woman who could not drive in this stuff walked 3 miles each way. She made it but she was 5 minutes late for her appointment. Thankfully when she told them she walked 3 miles they told her to relax and they did not turn her away. And God love this woman she walked home, uphill. She used walking sticks for her balance. 

She said she got a new hip last year and she didn't think she could have done it without her new hip. How damn cool is this broad? And yes, she is a broad. A tough ole broad if you ask me. I hope I am that physically active at her age. But my question would have been, anybody want to drive me home?

Then the 93 year old woman who waged a war on her grandsons and JP Morgan. She found they were stealing from her along with a few other things. Everyone told her to let it go, it was family. Oh no, she wasn't letting this go. She felt it was a form of abuse from the grandkids and JP Morgan and the banks were making hand over fistfuls of money at her expense.

She won in court. I love this feisty bird! 

A feisty old bird who needs to walk away from the makeup counter. 

Simone Biles. The more I see her the more I love her. That's it. 

I just think she is not only the greatest gymnast of all time but a great advocator of women. She is loud and not taking any gruff about the abuse these women have had to endure that still has not been cleaned up.

She is fighting for us all.

My new gyno doctor yesterday. Boy, she made me laugh. That is not an easy feat when your feet are in stirrups. But she made me laugh and I said a few things back and she laughed and said, "Can you come back next week?"  No thanks!  Glad to make her laugh but not coming back!

But I learned at the ripe old age of 64 that your ovaries shrink. 

Apparently, it's like California Raisins. If only they'd sing. 

I am embarrassed to say I was not aware of this. I called my mom last night and said, "File this under things your mom should have told you."

I explained and my stepmom says, "Well damn, I didn't know that either"

I keep telling you women there is not any info about our bodies after having a baby. The books stop at childbirth. Maybe they want all this shit to be a surprise. Or perhaps it is only me and the 4 women I mentioned this to that are that clueless.

I actually had an ultrasound and a vaginal ultrasound. I'll share why on another post. They couldn't find my ovaries. How weird is that? Apparently not at all. As the doctor and tech were doing this ultrasound I heard him say I can't find the ovaries, neither can I the tech says. I asked if it is because I am chubby. No they laugh it's because of your age and the fact that you don't have a uterus. HUH? The dr went on to tell me that when you have a uterus, the ovaries are hanging around it. Once that is gone it's like they can move around and hide. And the fact that at your age they shrink.

I said, "Shrink as in male shrinkage, it's cold?"  Nope, just shrinking as you age? Like grapes to raisins. She laughed and said, "yes but they stop at a certain point, they don't become raisins." I said I assume this is because they are virtually useless once in menopause. She nodded. 

Now I feel so stupid. I have now googled this on several sights and honestly not much mention of this. A lot of shrinking your ovarian cysts but I wanted more data on the actual shrinkage. So I will be googling today because now I wish to know all of this horrific crap.

I came home and told Rick this. He laughed. 

I said, "You laugh but if you just randomly found out your nuts were going to be like raisins wouldn't that bother you or at the very least wonder why you didn't know this?"  Yes and no he says, no because it'd be better than them falling and sitting on 'em"  

Oh my God, you are crazy Richard!

I called my women friends and we commiserated together. None knew this.

How can that be?

So there ya have it. If you knew this, stop laughing at me.

Those that may not have known, you're welcome.

Peanut Butter Melt-a-ways.

It was a cold weekend. I am thankful we got our furnace fixed!  Brrr....

VD was as exciting as my meme yesterday.  

The day I wrote that blog post about us not doing VD, Rick came home with 3 bunches of tulips because he knows I LOVE tulips. 

So see, we don't need no stinking hallmark holiday to get flowers.

I received an email from his favorite candy company just outside of Altoona PA. Gardners Chocolates. 

They have these peanut butter melt aways that he just loves.

The email from them was about VD and Easter. I thought I'd buy him a box of pb meltaways to say thanks and how much all his rubbing of my back, picking up the slack, etc has been so appreciated.  

The day they arrived he was here. Figures. He was about to leave to take Izzy to the pond when he opened the door and threw in a package and yelled, you have a delivery. Thankfully he pays no attention to the info on the package. This is when his being clueless works for him and me both.😊

I ran to get the package and saw what it was. 

I opened the box and inside wrapped in red heart paper was this big box of his melt aways. I ran this box up to the 3rd floor which is only where I go and hid them in the fridge. I actually put it in the freezer but when I went up there the 2nd day the paper was getting funky so I put them back in the fridge. The college size fridge has a freezer that this box just fit into. 

Rick loves these little babies frozen but I figured cold will do and he can unwrap and put them in the freezer himself.

Come Sunday morning I totally forget it's VD. We were having coffee and I was slowly waking up and as is the case while Rick is chatty Cathy in the morning.  I don't know how this man wakes up like this. He whistles, he sings, he is happy.  I'm sorry that is all kinds of wrong.  I prefer quiet and just nodding in the morning. Allow me to have my coffee and slowly wake up.  

Did I ever tell you how when I first slept with him I kept thinking, I don't know if I can handle this much friggin' happiness this early in the morning? 

I wake up grumpy but happy all day. Rick wakes up happy and it's all downhill. (I can hear him yelling, "Hey!" and he's not even here!)"

About an hour after I awake I hear something on TV about Valentine's Day. Oh yeah. I went up to the 3rd floor. I grabbed his treats and went back to the 1st floor. He was in his ugly chair and I kissed him again and said Happy VD as I handed this box to him. He said, "We don't do Valentine's, Day Margaret. Oh now I feel bad" 

I told him this is not for VD, but a thank you if you'd read the card. Then when he saw what it was, he immediately said, "I take it back, I want these, God knows I need these (as he pats his belly) and you can't take this back as he held the box to his chest.  

That evening he would go to the freezer and grab one. One is the size of an M& M peanut. You can't eat just one. He always goes back. Why not just take 2? He kept asking, would you like one? Nope, they are yours. 

When I receive a box of chocolate I hate sharing so these are all yours. 

Not a big deal since Peanut butter is not something I really love.  

Now a box of chocolates wouldn't last long for me sadly. 

Rick's will last him all week and possibly more and they are tiny. 

We are so different no matter what everyone tells us. (Rick has a friend who says I am the female version of Rick and vice versa)  Not true. 

I can't even tell you how many years it took for me to get so used to his early morning chatter, or have I ever gotten used to it? 

Before a dog I needed an alarm clock. Now I have a furry one. 

But in the days of my career, I needed that alarm. I would hit the snooze several times. That drove Rick crazy. Just get up he'd tell me. 

Rick's alarm would go off and he would just get up. What the hell, that is why there is a snooze button buddy. Nope, he got up and would say, "Good morning." All happy and with a song in his voice. I wanted to hurt him!

Then he would go into the bathroom whistling or worse, humming and or singing. For God's sake singing in the morning. Who's he think he is Pavarotti? I'd hit my snooze again. When I do get up, I prefer to not chat. 

He is all about talking in the morning. How'd you sleep? Got a big day ahead? Will you be going back to the city this week or only working from home? and on and on. 

I would pray, Dear God, make this man mute in the morning! 

Here is a throw back to another morning with Chatty Cathy 

Happy Valentines Day.

 Yep that is about right! 😊

Finally Friday

Remember that come to Jesus Meeting I had to have with Rick a while back?

Wow, it worked. He has been hanging up his coat, picking up after himself just like a good roommate. Instead of leaving the TP roll next to the garbage can he now puts it in the garbage can. Remember this one? 

He didn't even have to bend over, his foot opens it, he could have dropped it but, why not leave it on the tub deck...close but not quite there. My wife will pick it up eventually. Aargh!

Last night he went to grab his coat FROM THE CLOSET to take Izzy out for an evening walk. I told him I've noticed it's not thrown on the dining room chairs and it's really appreciated. 

He said you haven't said anything about what I've been doing around here I didn't think you noticed. 

Why do we have to applaud them for doing what they should just do?

It reminded me of this clip of Mad About You

  - 

Why do we have to have a parade because Rick put his dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher? 

So I asked him, why do you think you need to be stroked for doing the right thing? You are not 5 yrs old. 

He stopped and thought about it and laughing he said, "Hmm....I just think it'd be nice"

I said, okay then I want it too.  

You can throw rose petals at me because your laundry is magically done for you and put away. Picked up off the floor just mere feet from the laundry room and then clean, folded and sometimes pressed.

I would like diamonds because your meals are shopped for and cooked and cleaned up by me. 

I want a big loud parade because I did everything for your medicare, your insurances, and all your appointments for the last 30 years. 

I want a big beautiful billboard about my greatness because I do everything to keep your life moving. You just show up where needed in all aspects of your life.

Now he is just standing and laughing at the front door. 

"Damn you! Never mind!" he says, as he laughs himself out the front door. 

As he left I just shook my head. The damn fool.  Does he really think he can beat me at this game?

Thursday

Another inventive title to today's post.

To address 2 of the questions that were asked in the comments. 

Hopefully, this will answer.

No, we don't have many nonpayments yearly. How lucky are we?

Since we started we've had 3 in 15 yrs. 2 were bounced checks 1 in our 2nd year and 1 just the other day.   Not bad huh? 

We have had credit cards declined but they have always given us another. 

When Rick or when we had employees they all charged the card on their phones and if it was declined we were still in their home. They always came up with the money. It's more difficult when I am given the card because they won't be there and I get a decline I have to chase them down and I don't like that but it is what it is. I eventually get paid.

In our first year, we did a job for a Courtyard. We were so new, so green.  This courtyard was a franchise. Meaning Marriott did not own them and they wouldn't pay their bills. When we called this Courtyard the woman in a snarky tone said, "oh you excepted to be paid huh?"  And hung up on me. 

This became a huge deal for us. We were just starting out. We were also new to all this so we made some big mistakes and this was one of them.

They have never paid us. We looked into our legal rights and the costs to us were more than they owed. We still had to pay for some legal guidance. 

After months of this, we decided to learn our lesson and eat this. Painful.

But why should we pay more money to get paid less than what we are paying?

I know the principal but at this stage of our new business, we just couldn't do it.

It truly made no sense. I remember this so well. Our lives were falling apart around us and I had a good cry and then moved on. 

Now there is money in threes for corp jobs or larger jobs. You pay a percentage as a deposit to get started, then when we are 1/3 done another payment, and then final payment when completed.

So to this question, we have only had 1 non-payment and it was Courtyard. 

We only had 2 bounced checks in 15 years and I find that pretty nice actually.

_________

As for what Rick watches on his Wood Porn. 

His favorite is this man in Canada, Kent. The first link.  

The 2nd link is another man from Canada.

I guess this is big with our neighbors to the North.  He watches several but these two guys are his favorite for whatever reason. He is really into bowls now.  

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDwV2Djnj756vpxL51zd4Uw/featured

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC79W2RIyI-DtPQ6bxBHrpbw/videos

He's made a few bowls but they aren't as good as he wants them to be. 

So he watches this guy a great deal.  I know Rick, he thinks everything must be perfect. He will be great with bowls just as he has gotten with other things he never made before and now sells. 

His first table was a replica of one sold at Pottery Barn. 

I have shared it here. The only difference from Pottery Barn is he used wormy Chestnut and Pottery Barn used Pine. (cheaper and softer) 

Oh, and the price was $600+ less for Rick's.

Pottery Barn's is in this link for the photo below. $899 PB price.

I came home and told him I found a sofa table and a coffee table I really liked but it was so expensive. I had a Pottery Barn catalog and showed him the photos. He said, Oh hell I can make those. 

Really?

Yep, But I won't use pine. Too soft. I'd like a better grade of wood. 

I asked, Walnut? Chestnut? Maple? Prefer the 1st two. He was having a difficult time getting walnut so he went with the Chestnut. 

For his first table, he did very well to me. 

The legs aren't perfect but again, his first. It's mine and I don't mind one bit.

Here below is Rick's first attempt in my home - just under $200. 

He made a sofa table to match.

Yes, that is the dog napping. Do you think it looks a lot different from PB? The dimensions were one board more on the pottery barn, but that was too big for our space. But even 1 board more does not make up the price difference to me. tt's reclaimed wood, c'mon.

Youtube is a channel on Dish. Channel 371 to be exact. So it's easy for Rick to sit in his big ugly chair and just turn that channel on and see the wood transform on a big screen TV vs his phone. 

Right now Rick can't make any more things. He must clear out the garage. That is a several month job. He has to focus on moving and downsizing so he has put making things on hold. I think it kills him but he knows he has to do it for now. So watching in the evening is how he gets his fix I think.

_______________

We were to have an awful snowstorm beginning yesterday into late today. They were telling us 5-12 inches. It's a big bust for us. North of us got it but we western burbs did not. We have so far no snow. No rain. No anything. It's gray and looks like rain so who knows. Schools closed as well as dr offices etc.  A woman called yesterday and said she would like to move to next week or the week after because of the snow coming. I told her we'd be there but she said, no sense in booking and then having to cancel. Okay. Rick also got lucky with a contractor who called us late yesterday and said he wasn't finished and ready for Rick to come on Thursday. Two jobs were off the schedule for today. So Rick is home again. February sucks for us every year. I'm thankful he's home though. It helps me immensely with walking a dog when I feel like crap. 

Crap is the professional/medical term you know. 

During my pain nights, I can not sleep. I began to watch a show on Netflix. It looks like all the things on Hallmark that make me a bit nauseous. 

I know ya'll love Hallmark movies and Hallmark Christmas movies so I apologize. It's just me.

I just can't watch that channel. I never watch Hallmark or Lifetime. 

To me, it is so corny and stereotyped. It's Cinderella having to be saved, the weak young woman. It just bugs the hell out of me. Lifetime movies make every woman a victim it is so old.  I realize it's only me who thinks this way because there are zillions of women who watch these channels.

So there I was looking for something light and of interest to me and I saw nothing I was in the mood for. So I chose this and thought maybe it will lull me to sleep.

I just took a Tylenol with an Advil so I was hoping to maybe fall back asleep even if it meant on the sofa.

Well, damn if I didn't get into this show and binged it. I know. I know. 

At 6a when Rick and Izzy came downstairs I was just finishing it. 

The series was Firefly Lane. Would this be considered Chick Flick?

No one was a victim and no one whined about being single so already it wouldn't make a hallmark movie where their hands touch on a Xmas tree and instantly fall in love in a ridiculous unreal way that makes women think it's real love only if it happens like that.

Did anyone here read the book, Firefly Lane? I never did. 

They said it was pretty close to the book. Katherine Heigl was so good in this role but I personally felt Sarah Chalke was excellent. 

It was still a bit predictable but not as vomit-inducing as a hallmark movie.(for me) Maybe to a lot of others. 

More along the lines of This is Us without all the crying.

But the way it ended there better be a season 2 or I will be so angry I invested in this. I may have to get the book to see how this ends. 

Or if you've read the book can you tell me why Kate is so angry at Tully at her father's funeral? I'm dying to know!

Wednesday

Well, it was time I suppose. Can't feel better forever.

I wasn't feeling great on Sunday/Monday and Tuesday night was a killer.

I awoke at 4am to a lot of bleeding...again. So sick of this. I see the doctor on the 16th. In the meantime, I am taking a sick day. I am nauseous, feeling weak even after that awful tasting Pedialyte. Just not up for anything sadly.  

I am doing the bare minimum that I must do.

I have a lot of questions to answer I see in the comments. 

I promise I will get to them just not today. 

Happy Hump Day!

_________

Oh, but in fun news....

I spent just over 50 minutes frantically searching for my cell phone yesterday.

I even retraced my steps on Izzy and my walk. I didn't even think I took my phone with me, I rarely do. But I couldn't find it. I looked on 3 floors of our home. I went to areas I never went to like the garage. I was frantic.

Finally, Rick texts me. My right boob vibrated. 

Viola, it was in my bra. I forgot I did that. ....tee hee

I found it!  oh is this senility?

Tuesday

Hi blogger friends.

Boy today is a far better day physically for me. It's been a tough few days of being on the verge of driving off a cliff. I also went to bed at 8:30 like a good toddler so that helps too. 

I told Rick that since I was up at 1am being ill I was really tired. He tried to tell me to go to bed but I kept thinking, it's only 7pm. I fell asleep on the sofa sitting upright I might add. I awoke to Rick watching the youtube channel on TV and he was watching woodturning. 

You see Rick makes bowls and tables and the like. 

He is forever making things. Now he watches others making things. 
I awoke to the sound of the lathe and I said, "wood porn again?"  

Yep, does it bother you? 

Nope.  

Better than the other porn on a loop like you do I guess. 

I kissed him and went to bed. But this morning he had to show me how this man turned this bowl and in a crack he put epoxy. Rick asks, "do you think this looks good Margaret?"

 
Oh my goodness I love that he has a hobby but I don't get quite as excited as he does. I did think he was right and it did look good. I am more of the person who tells him to make this, leave off that edge there but do it on the other side. I give my aesthetic comments since that is all I can offer. 

He was struggling with legs to a table and I asked if I could see what he was doing. I said, 'Yes, you can't use those legs, they do not match the top" I drew what I felt would look far better. So he made the change got $500 more for the table than he asked once he changed the legs. So now he asks me all the time.  I help with ideas and the aesthetics and color if using something with color. I find it funny how I always get sucked into his work.

He made a butcher block cutting board for someone and had some of the walnut wood leftover. I suggested he add something like a small charcuterie board with a handle, like this one below from the web.

I suggest he could tell the person who ordered the board that you had some extra walnut wood and you made this, would they like this as a set for the price of xyz?  Or just sell it as a separate thing to someone else. 

Rick did just that, he first asked her about it as a set, and they wanted it so he sold them 2 things. That will be our retirement extra money or the way things are going, our much-needed money to live.

See why I long for a talent? Everyone around me has a talent.

My talent is remembering anything at all these days. 

I have a cousin with who I am very close. Hell, I'm close with all my first cousins, they are like my siblings. Anyhoo Steve turned 70 on the 7th. 

I called him on Sunday because I didn't want to text him as my husband kept saying to do. How impersonal to me. Fine for a friend, acquaintance but not a sibling type figure to me.

I called him and he answered and made some noise and I heard him say, Peg hold on I'm brushing my teeth.  I laughed. 

When he got on the phone I asked if those teeth were in a jar or still in his mouth. HA HA he says, "a birthday joke"

So we teased one another because he's now considered a very old fart. 

In all honesty, this man looks like he may be 55 at best. I hope he gets that from his mom's side because then maybe I'll get some of that. 

He was going to brunch at a restaurant with a niece and with his sister. Both of his children live out of state. 

He mentioned to me, "hey you'll be 65 soon and you'll get on medicare. You'll love it, after all those years of taxes now I am reaping the reward"  
Knowing he is a card-carrying GOP fella I said, "WAIT. you are taking socialized medicine? Why ever would you want to do that? Socialism Steve!"  

He said, "even on my birthday you have to bust my balls don't you?"
Yes Steve, when you say foolish old man shit I have to call out your shit.
He laughed and said, "God I miss you when you coming home?"
I am home Steve, you mean when will I come to my hometown? 

Well, when you nuts jobs up there begin to wear masks and stop going to bars and brunch at restaurants etc. Then I'll come home. (crickets)

We went back to how he could possibly be 70. We had a few laughs about his brother and sister and then I wished him a wonderful day! 
I will never understand how people think taking medicare is fine but any other type of socialized medicine is wrong.  That's just plain goofy to me.

______

p.s. Rick got paid yesterday. It took 3 credit cards before one was not declined. Rick said he felt terrible, but only for a minute. 

He told me that the BMW and brand new Lexus in the driveway they could downsize to a cheaper car and pay him. Ooh that was mean I told him. He shrugged his shoulders. If we can't pay for things, we don't get them. Others should try that. Oh, he was not being kind but I understood him...to a point.

Monday

Long ago I had a subscription to People Magazine.

Then it got to where I didn't know most people they talked about so got rid of it.

They still send me links of stories though for some reason.

I saw the heading and thought before I delete I will actually read this. 

I liked this story of Jackie Kennedy and Mrs. Nixon. 

How lovely was Mrs. Nixon to rearrange things when Jackie said it would be difficult for her and her children? 

Can you even see that today? trump and resting bitch face just left, even when they arrived they didn't want anyone showing them anything either. 

They refused The Obamas invitations.

Such white trash they are.  Making this story even better.

______

We had a check bounce on us this past week.

First time in 15 yrs.  I hated having to make that call because the woman was a witch with a capital B. The day of the job she called to ask if she could write a check. Which was an odd question because we had already discussed it and Rick was at her house, why would she call me? 

The dreaded talk is painful to me and I'm certain painful to the person who wrote it.

I explained her check was returned and since we are returning Monday to bring you what you ordered we can settle up at that time with either cash or a credit card. 

She said, "I just don't know how that can be!"  

I did not wish to embarrass her even if she was witchy. This was not a fun conversation to have. But she just kept saying, How can that be?

But I just let her comment sit there until she told me how we were going to rectify this. Remember those who speak first lose. 

She was difficult on the phone. She was difficult to Rick.

She yelled at him to take off his shoes and her home was like a hoarder's home.  The smells gaged him and he was wearing a mask! 

But he did his job and expected to be paid.  Simple enough.

It will be interesting to see if we get paid today.

 _______________________

I'm having serious issues with my cell phone. I don't wish to get another phone and because it has been dropped and the back it cracked insurance will do nothing. Why have the insurance? Everything is in my phone. So if I get it up and running today I will need to make sure I have all these contacts somewhere else.

Wasn't technology supposed to help our lives, slow it down, leave work behind, save us time? Remember all those lies?  

I am about ready for string and a can at this point. I am so frustrated. When this happened last week I called and of course the English speaking dept. couldn't help me they had to send me to India, Philippines, somewhere we both didn't understand one another and it was 1.5 hrs on the phone basically me saying, "could you repeat that?"  and them saying things to me in a frustrated tone. Lots of fun.

___________________________

Because we don't watch football the super bowl is not something we give a hoot about. We didn't know the 1/2 time show because we are old. So we saw that Salma Hayek and Owen Wilson were in a new movie. 

We watched that. I still don't understand it. I still don't know what was real and what wasn't. We both were lost. 

We continued to watch it but it was too far out for our taste. 

If you see "Bliss" I would tell you to find something else. 

I said to Rick while watching it, 'you are only still watching because of Salma aren't you? Her running and practically falling out of her top." 

He said, "yes, yes, I am. I don't understand or like this damn movie but my goodness she is one gorgeous woman." 

So he drooled, I rolled my eyes and that was our super bowl evening. 

Please watch.

Have you seen these?

Someone on the radio was talking about Unorthodox on Netflix.

I think I watched it a year ago. It was only 4 episodes. Have you seen it?

My first interest was many many years ago on Oprah where she was allowed to see how the women in the Hasick community have rules about everything. She was in their homes and went to where they bathe in the community. (more on that later) 

She watched them prepare meals and it was so interesting. 

They can not show their real hair and must wear a wig. They can only have sex 2 weeks out of the month. There is not any physical contact during the other 2 weeks. No touching in public either.  But when having their cycle they can't be in the same bed. They must go to a special place to bathe outside of their home. The rules and traditions seem like ancient times and it was hard to see these young women be what I consider a prisoner to them sitting there smiling and telling us they are fulfilled and happy. I hope they were.

The show was a two-parter if I recall correctly. They talked about their place in the home and the traditions, from food, chores, and children. They talk about their sex life or lack of one. They talked about so many things and I found it utterly fascinating and at the same time was thankful this was not my life. One woman spoke like a cult member. Was she in a way? If that show streams somewhere I think a lot of folks who never watched O would like this mini-documentary. The women answered all O's questions and appeared to be honest. 

Their answers were just so foreign to me.

So when Unorthodox came on Netflix I knew I wanted to see it. It was short and bittersweet. You are forced to marry someone and not of your choosing. That alone would be difficult for me. This young girl of 19 is married to someone she does not love. She longs to sing and play music but not allowed. I felt while watching the stories on O that some of these women had sad faces like the woman in the movie. They said and did all the right things but she didn't appear to me to mean them.  

It was such a great Oprah show that really helped me to understand this movie. 

Actually, there are 2 Oprah shows that have stuck with me over the 30 years. 

The first was by a woman Jane Elliot who does a classroom assignment at schools. Unbeknownst to the students, this was about racism. 

They found out the hard way. It was downright brilliant. I loved it. 

I talked about it to everyone. I just felt if they did this with a group of adults the outcome would be the same. Then someone did, Oprah.

The O show was doing this to her audience but they were not aware they were part of the show, they thought they were just in the audience. 

Blue-eyed people were treated terribly. Brown-eyed people were treated heavenly. The blue-eyed people began to revolt. They were not in on this in any way they just didn't like being marginalized. Boy was there bad behavior!

I thought it was the perfect way to show prejudice. Oh, there were a few idiots, I recall 1 man specifically, who did not get the lesson, I think he is now working for trump somewhere.  

O had dinner with one family. Here is a snippet of the episode at dinner. 

I think the mom had some great comments. There were a lot of things they said I could relate to. The no pressure on the young girl who can't date yet. 

Oh, that pressure as a teen is still something awful I can remember. 

Have any of you seen these?

Need To Feed

I watched a documentary on the writer Joan Didion on Netflix.
I have never been a big fan of her writing. 

In fact, I have never been able to finish her books. I always got bored.

She speaks like she writes to me. I think that is good for the most part.

I know so many people who just love her writing. I am just not one of them.

Monotone, more words than necessary and flat.

Her life was interesting. I did not know she was related to Dominic Dunne. She was married to his brother John Dunne, also a writer. Griffin Dunne who I am certain you all know if not by name but by his face is an actor who is quite good to me. Currently, he is the drunk uncle in This is Us. But he has been great in a lot of TV and films.

Griffin made this documentary of his Aunt Joan. 

I found it like a train wreck. I couldn't look away. 

So many things fascinated me like her physical appearance. 

She was so bloody thin (75lbs) that you can see all the veins and arteries in her hands, wrist, and arms. Her neck was like that too.  

It was hard not to stare. It was also a distraction at times in the film for both Rick and myself. 

She always seemed unhappy to me. She was not a person who smiled which is fine. Not everyone is a smiley Gus, I get that. 

However, she always had a look behind those brown eyes as sad to me or she had a secret that was so very painful that she just couldn't share. 

When they showed older photos of her I thought she was pretty but her eyes just always seemed like they were pain and depression there.

Again this is just my opinion.

She had a love of her life, a child she longed for, and writing and accolades up the woo-haa.

Perhaps that was her while happy. She said she was happy at times. 

She also said that as if it were just as a fact that she read out of a science book. Always flat. 

She was not someone who would speak with emotion and her tone wouldn't change with excitement. She was just constantly level and monotone.  To me only of course. 

I am certain you could all watch this and perhaps not feel this way. 

A comment was made that her daughter said she was a good mother but aloof. She just shrugs. But she is aloof, she is cold. There are pictures of her holding her daughter. Not like a mother would hold their daughter. Like if she held her she was going to get cooties. It was so odd, yet perfect for how she appears. Aloof, cold and really only ever wanting to write and be judgemental of others. Not truly care for them. 

I do not think she even expressed it all on paper as some thought she did. She wrote of her grief over her daughter and husband's death. But as she read this passage aloud it was all flat. As I said, it was more like you were reading a science book with a thesaurus describing grief.  

She had a lot of it still locked inside her to me. I wanted her to get it out. 

She certainly had some big losses in her life. That pain was all over her face but when she writes about it and articulates this to you it seems again, so matter of fact without emotion. She uses a lot of words to tell you she is grieving but never says grieving. I don't understand writers like that. 

I saw it on the screen, the way she talks, writes, is why I can never finish one of her books. I could read a sentence 5 times and ask myself, What the hell is she talking about?  Her writing is great to some, it was flowery in the sense of many adjectives to describe an apple when one could just say it was perfectly round with a shiny red color with just a hint of green at the top by the stem. Oh no, she would never mention it was an apple, you'd have to figure that out. That is what bored me in her writing.

Then again, it could just be that I'm stupid. In fact, that is probably it. 

I just don't appreciate that type of writing.

I had authors in my high school American Lit class far more interesting to me than she was. But I also know I am in the minority.

If you like her or documentaries this one was short and interesting. 

She was a keen observer that is for certain during the 60s and 70s.

She wrote a lot of stories for various magazines about the counter culture through her eyes. 

I was too young to have read most of those articles when they came out. 

I wondered while watching this if she wrote those like her books. 

Or did she actually state the items she was always talking about?  

When she is asked by her nephew Griffin, what it was like to see a 5 yr on acid sitting on a floor licking her lips with white acid on them while her mother is close by. You would think it would be something like, Jeez that was appalling. Let's call 911 or the police or something. I know if it were me, I'd cry. That picture would kill me. 

But her response to her nephew when asked what it was like to witness this she said, "it was gold".  

Hmm...writers gold.

Would all writers do that? Am I too emotional? I'd have talked about the pain of seeing this baby just sitting on the floor strung out. 

She talked about the facts. I suppose that makes a good writer and reporter?

It was once again to me flat and emotionless and her ability to be that was what was fascinating to me. How did she come to be that way?

I say that as if it is wrong to be that way. It's not, it just feels odd to me because I am not that way. And I am most fascinated by what I am not.

The doc left me with more questions than I had before I started. 

But I enjoyed it none the less. It will make me look into some of her writing again to see if at this advanced age of mine I would now like it.  

I don't think so. I am not sure I even liked her. 

So many things were glossed over. Like her daughter and her daughter's death. She alluded to drugs but never said it. 

Again, she uses a lot of words and says absolutely nothing. 

I don't know if she ever had a drug problem I could just be assuming. 

But that is how she writes and why I never finished a book by her. 

She ends up boring me to death. It is like she writes from a thesaurus. 

She must have emotions but you don't feel them from her writing, at least I don't. 

The doc has stuck with me for days now. Her aloofness fascinated me. 

I keep thinking of her drive, her life, her comments, and her physicality. 

I am sure that is not what the documentary was to do but it stuck. It didn't make me more of a fan, but more of a voyeur. I want to see more because to me she is so damn odd, interesting, and confusing. I want to "get" her.

Currently, I just dislike her.

Now here is what my husband learned from this documentary. 

He said to me that once again he sees that 'I have a need to feed.'

He was so focused on her veins and arteries. 

He was convinced if she removed her shirt we would be able to see her heart and see it beating.  I am not so sure he is wrong. 

I kept saying, Gee, I want to feed her. I want to make her eat something to stick to those ribs we can see and count easily.  I actually said, "one week with me and I could get her to gain at least 5lbs." 

When she did eat it was a cucumber sandwich without the crust. Peanut butter and jelly would be fattening. Not cucumbers. Those are not fattening enough for a woman of only 75lbs who needs to weigh at the very least 115lbs. 

Rick kept saying, see how you think you need to feed her? 

You have a need to feed Margaret.

When people stop by or stay over I like to feed them. 

I tend to make a lot of food. 

He tells me all the time I got this from my family - the need to feed.

Yes, I understand Italian American's think like that.  

(At least my family extended and otherwise all were like this.)

So he's apparently right. I do have a need to feed. 

Especially an anorexic person.

I know they will not eat, but I feel that urge to feed them. What the hell is wrong with me?

I guess I have issues. 😉.  He may just make a documentary about that.

Valentines Day

I've read quite a few Valentine's Day blogs recently. 

That got me thinking. Do you celebrate this 'holiday'?

I am not a fan of hallmark holidays.  I don't participate in them normally.

I told Rick very early on I found the holiday stupid and that he shouldn't feel pressure to do some grand gesture on that day. 

He replied, "how about every day?"   

I'm okay with that. 😊  I like the way he thinks.

I get flowers from this man a great deal. He was so excited when this wholesale place moved into the neighborhood and he stops by and buys me what they have most of at the moment. I know as soon as there are tulips he will come home with my favorites. 

He buys me chocolate as a surprise all the damn time because he knows that I should be in a 12 step program for my addiction to all things covered in chocolate, he instead is my enabler and brings me goodies all the time.

Last week as I began to eat real food I said, "I'd die for a small piece of chocolate" He said, "don't die, I have a surprise for you"  

He went to the hall coat closet and pulled out a small truffle he hid in a coat pocket. I am surprised it didn't melt. it was in a tiny box. He was working next door to a wine shop and they also sell truffles and he bought 2. One for me when I say, "boy I would die for a small piece of chocolate" and one he ate as he drove home. He did admit both were for me but it smelled so good so he ate one.

I love that he just buys them for no reason other than he knows how I love it. It also makes me laugh that he hides them for when I say after dinner, "boy a good piece of chocolate would set off that meal"

And voila, he gets up and gives me a piece.

When I was so sick and he cared for me and picked up the slack around here I appreciated that. That was a gift. 

When he unloaded the dishwasher and it took me days to find where he put my favorite mug, I may have wanted to return his gift. 

But the point is that was so terrific and that to me is better than any ole valentines day gift.

I would love a box of chocolate but I also know I can't have them because I will eat them all. So I like how he doles them out to me when I ask.  

I have a serious issue with chocolate. 

Add wine and that is now a real problem because I can't do meetings at two12 step programs. Who has the time for that? 

So pass the chocolate.

On Monday, he left me a note to find in my parka pocket. 

Well, he left it in my pocket before Monday, but I was wearing a different coat and never found it until Monday.

I was outside with Izzy and I put my hand in my pocket and felt it.

It was a nice little letter of love and c'mon it was only Feb1st. 

Isn't that better than HAVING to do it on the 14th? 

I will take that over any Valentine's Day present. 

But if you should wish to send me a box of truffles I'll accept them.

Dentist

Remember that dentist appointment Rick had?  

Well, well, well, did we find things out and it's not pretty.  

The last dentist Rick went to he was given a cleaning and had X-rays. 

He was then given an itemized list of things that he needed to get done. 

As Rick does with anything he put it off for 18 months. 

When I called to see if he could get in now to alleviate his pain they said in late March. 

Then she spent time reprimanding me because he hasn't been there in 18 months.  I didn't need that or appreciate it. I ignored her berating of me like I was a child.

I also found out they no longer work past 4p and do not do weekends. 

Now only 9-4 except Wednesday 9-1. That isn't going to work for his schedule. I thanked her and said we may need to find another solution since this doesn't work for his schedule. She didn't say, Okay or anything she just hung up. 

I asked Rick if he would mind seeing another dentist? He did not care. 

Now he was having a toothache and his breath was bad. 

Being a nice wife, I told him if he wanted to be kissed he better get his teeth fixed because his breath was bad no matter how many times he brushed and flossed.  I know that was mean. But it made him go to the dentist so it worked. 

The appointment yesterday was only going to be cleaning and X-rays since it was 18 months ago he did this. Also because it was a new dentist.

Then because I knew they would find issues we made an appointment for Thursday to do any type of work needed.

The itemized list from the last dentist 18 months ago was over 2 grand.

I was hoping we could just get some of the work done at least.

His appointment was supposed to be for a cleaning and x-rays.

Rick got in early as I mentioned because it was a snow day and they had cancellations. The appointment after the one he was at was supposed to be Rick so they asked, "While you're here and we've got the time would you like to fix it all?"  He said absolutely. 

Everything that was done on Monday was a total of $112.00 after insurance. 

Cleaned his teeth, x-rays, cavity fixed, fixed a chip on a tooth and ground down something or another. (the chip was a composite I think it was called)

While the total was $518 or close to that we paid $112.00 after insurance - far cry from 2,000 + isn't it?

He asked the dentist, "What about my cracked crown? And the loose one?"  The dentist told him he had neither.  

The dentist showed him the X-rays and said there was no crack. 

She went back in his mouth and went to his crowns along with the assistant/hygienist and they found none that were loose. 

The Dr asked him if he was having any issues with that. 

No, but I was told I had these problems and they had to be addressed.

The Dr. then asked if he touches it with his tongue does it feel loose? 

All these types of questions.  Rick kept saying no to them all. 

The nice new Dr told him there were no cracks or loose crowns or I'd fix them. She said you just had this big bad cavity and we got that taken care of so you are all set. That was it. 

Then they set him up with a 6-month appointment for his next cleaning.

So how does one go from over 2K to $112? 

1. Was the first dentist wrong and just trying to rip him off? 

2. Was the 2nd dentist wrong and perhaps wasn't a good dentist and missed it? 

We both feel strongly that it's probably and sadly number 1. 

When he came home and told me that he had the work done so cancel Thursday's appointment I thought he was crazy. How can that be? 

He liked this new office. He liked the new dentist very much. 

He and I both just keep wondering if something was missed? 

Or were we just being screwed by the first dental office?

What do you think?

Snow Day.

Saturday Rick and I had an appointment to view the RV rental and to put a deposit down. We dropped Izzy off to play with puppies at Doggie Day Care. We take her a few Saturdays a month. It's from only 10-5. 

We generally get her before 5pm now. She's older and tires out earlier these days. But she loves it so much. 

She can be snoring and if we say, "Want to go play with puppies?"  She RUNS to the front door. Oh, she knows. 

After dropping her off we headed to the RV place. 

Man, this place was hopping.

It was cold and sunny and the exact one we are to rent was being serviced because it was going to be rented. Its twin was on the lot. Apparently, the difference is the color. We didn't much care about the color.  

We got our walkthrough and asked a ton of questions. Do you know we don't get the deposit back if we cancel?  We have 6 months to use it again. The only reason at this point that we would cancel is due to health reasons. So hopefully that won't be an issue.  As we went to the office Rick asked if this used to be their slow time. She said, "Oh my yes, but the pandemic has made our business boom in what we called our slow months.  I wouldn't even be working today normally" 

She added, "by no means are we complaining, sir"

We didn't take it that way.

I called so many places and went to all the websites. I found the folks at this place to be so professional and personable. That matters to me. I called a couple of times asking questions. They were so nice and patient. Not once acting as though I was an idiot. I called a big name RV Rental place and the man acted like I was annoying him so I never called back. His answers were short and if I asked to expel on something he'd tell me to go to the website. But I called you, you can't answer? That was my thought. I didn't say that but I knew I wasn't going to use them. Besides their fees were higher, not a lot, but with this attitude, I didn't want to pursue them. 

When we left there Rick said, "Man they have thought of everything."

I would hope so they do this for a living Rick. 

The only surprise was the toilet paper. We need to have RV toilet paper and they only give you one roll. So now I have to find RV toilet paper. I think it's the scratch thin stuff we could only find a year ago when the pandemic started. Yuk. 

But it's only for 5 days. My hiney will survive.

Then we headed over to our favorite store, Wegmans. I grew up with Wegman's grocery store and nowhere I have lived had them until we got here. We finally got one here in the year 2002. I was thrilled. 

My neighbors soon learned why. (Yes there is a bar inside filled with men drinking and having a burger while their significant others shop)  

We had a gift card that my mom buys us every year to Wegmans in our little hands and off we went inside. 

OMG. The place was packed. We thought, well it's a nice sunny day maybe everyone is using their Xmas gift card like us. But shelves were empty of a lot of things. So we made one more stop at one of the grocery stores in our neighborhood. The shelves were bare there too. What the hell?

We came home and unpacked. Our day went on with our chores etc. Then we heard the news, we were to get up to 6 inches of snow. Now we understood why all these southerners were buying everything up in the store. For 6 inches of snow POSSIBLY. 

By the time we picked up Izzy the town was in a tizzy that we may get snow. 

The guy next door asked if our snowblower was gassed up and ready for the snow.

Rick said I don't think we'll need it for what is coming. He kept saying oh better than shoveling. Really? 3 inches of snow is pretty easy to move, even for we old farts.

It snowed a bit off and on that evening and we awoke to almost 3 inches of snow. Izzy was in her glory. She so loves the cold and snow. While she and Rick went out to play in the snow our office phones were ringing like crazy.  I DO NOT ANSWER PHONES ON WEEKENDS. 

Yes, the office is in my home but the office is closed. I admit when it rings like that I think something is up so I listened to voicemails. Everyone was in a panic about the snow and would he come? Oh brother.   

I called them back and said he will be there. But most wanted to move the date just in case so I moved them all to appease them.  

So here we are with a snow day. Phones are extremely quiet. 

Rick called his dentist to see if he could get in early (he was going after work) and they said they had so many cancellations they could do that. Great. So Rick is being tortured at the dentist as I type this. 

He needs some seriou$ work done.  But the dentist is in our development so it's not like a big drive for us or for that matter many of their patients. 

But who cares why they canceled, it worked for Rick.

I bet when he comes home he will be eating soft foods. 

Lucky for me, I can show him how fun that is.