I am a buffoon when I meet a celebrity. Often in Manhattan, I would see someone, and I wouldn't bother them. I didn't want to act stupid either. I didn't do anything, which they probably prefer.
Oh, he's/she's really short, which is usually the first thing I would notice. All these male celebrities are short little guys, I found. Robert Redford, for example. I had read he was 5'10". I saw him, and he was not far away. No, he wasn't, but then I'm not my driver's license weight either. So there's that. Anyhoo...
I only asked for an autograph once, and for the life of me, I don't know why I did that. It's so not like me to do something like that. It was Grace Slick.
It was 1983 or 84. The airport was fogged in, and we had given the customers breakfast vouchers. Since this was my hometown, there was only one choice of a place to eat at this one-gate airport.
I went to the restaurant and asked her for her autograph. She asked if I was at the show the night before. I was indeed. She was very curmudgeonly. I thanked her and went back to the pilot lounge. I told the Ops guy what I did. He said, "Get out, she's here?" I gave him the autograph and told him she was really very rude, and I don't want it now. He was happy to have it.
The 2nd "celebrity" was also a musician. No autograph, though. I was picking up a friend at the Cleveland Airport. She asked me to hold her bag filled with pottery as she went to the bathroom.
Someone bumped into me, and I dropped the bag and yelped, praying it wasn't all broken.
As I went down to pick the bag up, I hit this man's head who had hit me and was trying to help me. I looked up, and I said, "Oh my God, it's you" (what an ass!)
He chuckled and said, "Yep, it's me."
He apologized and asked if I was okay, and I told him I was and thanked him.
Why did I thank him? God, I'm goofy. He ran into me. It was John Mellencamp.
As he walked away, my girlfriend came out of the bathroom, and I said, "You are not going to believe who I bumped into!"
There was something on television about all this. It got Rick and me talking about who we'd want to meet and who he met. He called me after he met Stephen Wright, the comedian. Rick was in Boston for work, and he was at the airport. The first thing he said was, "Man, this guy is short." I said, I know they always are. What's that about? TV/Movies make them look larger?
Rick was in Colorado when he saw a woman who was on that 70s show. She had an entourage as if she were important, and they parted the people and inconvenienced others so she could walk easily to her destination. Rick found it all humorous.
He couldn't watch it after seeing her like that. It really didn't sit well with him. I understood, but I still watched it, 'cause I'm a bad wife :-)
Rick told me he'd like to run into Selma Hayek or Lauren Shehadi.
Oh, I know he would.
Rick does make me laugh. If you don't watch MLB Central, you wouldn't know the 2nd young lady.
It's the only reason Rick watches this with me, I swear. It is on at 10am M-F during baseball season. I record it and watch it when I can. Great Show. Lauren sits between 2 men. She is a classy baseball babe. They behave like siblings, and they are fun and knowledgeable. I get why he thinks she is cute.
She is, she is a badass baseball babe, and she's classy. Not many women on this channel that are any of those, let alone all 3.
You see, one evening I hit the DVR to record a show that gives you the highlights of every game that just played that day. I hit this show to watch as Rick sat down with his coffee. He saw this woman, and he yelled, "OH MY GOD, if she had pubic hair, we'd see it. What is she wearing?"
I responded with, NOTHING. She had on a shirt with 5-inch heels.
Oh, not a shirt like when I wear Rick's shirts. Oh no.
This came to the bottom of her butt cheek.
Stripper Barbie is reading the baseball scores and highlights while she just stands there. Giggles like she's had a lobotomy, and sometimes she just kicks her legs for no apparent reason. Makes me laugh every.damn.time! But she is blonde, has great legs, and is pretty. So I suppose that means one doesn't have to wear bottoms or be smart. Like Winnie the Pooh with long blonde extensions.
I like the highlight show, I hate the bimbo. She acts like a dumb person. It's not cute. I don't get why they have her on. And as Rick said, he didn't hear a word she said. I bet you didn't, Mister.
Why must the women on these shows all be dressed like bimbos? Yeah, I know men are visual. But don't men want to hear the scores and highlights?
I know they can't multitask and do both!
Lauren does not look like a bimbo. We both like her. I told him if he runs into either of them, she or Selma, they are your hall pass. I mean, they do run in the same circles, so it could happen, right?
22 comments:
I'm chuckling because the only celeb that I recognized in your posting was Robert Redford. Yes, they go through all sorts of machinations to make some leading men look taller than they are. One would think the producers/directors/angels/whoever-it-is would get past that urge or do we women egg them on with our own behavior?
The only celebrity I ever saw was two seats from me in the Albuquerque airport in the 1980s - Fred Rogers. I did not even welcome him to my neighborhood - just let him be.
I've seen some local celebrities out and about but never asked for an autograph.
Isn't that funny - I've always thought celebrities were taller when I saw them in person...Paul Sorvino, Dan Ackroyd, Steve Landesberg, Gene Shalit - so many - but Paul Newman - he was short!
"Celebrities" are still just people who are more mainstream recognizable than others. I've had hardly any brushes with celebrities. Several years ago, I saw the guy from McHale's Navy - remember that old show - at an airport. Ernest Borgnine, I had to google.
Other than that, I've met a handful of WWF wrestlers because they would stay at a hotel I worked at in Denver. I don't follow WWF, so only knew of Hulk Hogan. They were all very quiet and mild mannered.
But then... Katherine Ross and Sam Elliot were at my wedding, so there's that.
Ok now that's a blog post. What? Ooh Sam Elliott and Katherine Ross. Nice going!
What urge? To make them look taller. Yes, a great many women like tall men. (Me!!) And all men like leggy, busty, blondes. Not sure i understand what you meant. I'm sorry
Smart. Besides what do you do with it? That's why I cant believe I did that. It's so off for me
Yes, Dan Ackroyd and Steve Landesberg both look tall on TV and are tall. I saw Steve at one of his stand up shows. Tall and funny. Good combo to me😀
I orchestrated a meeting between my son Emil when he was about 10 years old and a big fan (so am I), and Joni Mitchell. Long story at the end of a long day. Suffice it to say that she impressed me by giving him her full attention when she had been mobbed by people and press all day and they were still waiting to pester her some more. I thought that she comported herself like a real "lady," as opposed to the hippie chick I imagined. Her kindness and patience with him impressed me, and I had forgotten until reading through a journal entry about that day that she'd given my arm a warm little squeeze as she left us. -Kate
I love her so that's gratifying to hear how kind she was to you and your son.
What a wonderful encounter. I'm not sure why a hippie isn't a real 'lady' That was an interesting comment Kate. But it sounds like everything I thought she was and that makes me happy!
My only brush with a celebrity was walking past Cher and her entourage at a fancy hotel in Seattle when I was maybe 16. She looked pretty unapproachable. I loved reading about the Pioneer Woman's encounter with James Garner, my favorite actor, in an elevator. He was a class act--and tall!
Cher was shorter than I thought too! I've never heard Pioneer Woman's story. I may have to Google that. I love him. Honestly, her not so much. 🙂
What a great story!!!! Thx for sharing
I once peed in a urinal next to a famous-in-Canada singer, but didn't know it because well...somewhat drunk and the bro code of no eye contact or interaction at urinals...my friends told me about it because they saw me come out of the bathroom right after him...does this count? Lol.
Yes it counts!! Oh have I got a story for you!
I'm always telling Scott I'm surprised they don't have some butch lesbians on the sports shows and he's like well they aren't catering to that. I'm like but they could be lol.
There are a good many classy baseball babes and a few stripper Barbie types. Women watch this too, maybe we need some chippendales doing the sports news.😄
What, Peg, you have trouble with my clear-as-mud wording? My apologies. Hmmm...let's see if I can be clearer.
Just as leggy, busty, blondes have been the "ideal" woman, tall, dark, and handsome has been the "ideal" man - in my experience. We humans seem to demand certain behaviors and/or characteristics in other humans whether those behaviors/characteristics have intrinsic worth or not. Just yesterday, I spent time trying to reassure a 22-year-old-guy that he is OK - that we humans make unrealistic demands of others. I hope it helped.
I knew someone would remark about that 'real lady' thing. She's near my mom's age. My mom was a real lady -- I dont mean hoity toity but let's say she'd never put a foot out of place - while Joni would be more willing to defy convention (like a 1960s hippie). Why she came across to me as a lady was something that felt like they were the same age in attitude, and how they behaved in public. Old-fashioned manners perhaps.
I've met a LOT of music stars, due to my long first career in the record retail business, but there's a special thrill about encountering stars by accident, out in the wild. Free-Range celebrities!
I met Joan Jett at an Orioles game (and about 4 more times in and around concerts and events). Once in the Albany airport, I spotted a really hot Asian girl who looked vaguely familiar, and eventually figured out it was ice skater Kristi Yamaguchi (I remembered there was an ice show in town the previous night). Also walked by Franco Harris sitting in first class on an airplane. I gave him the dude-nod, meaning, I see you, but I'm not going to bother you."
And once, on my way to work, I passed by actor Peter MacNicol, from Ally McBeal. He was in downtown Baltimore filming the HBO movie Game Change (about the McCain/Palin campaign.) We were walking down the sidewalk in opposite directions and it wasn't until I was by him, I whipped around, thinking, "Hey, that's the Little Biscuit!" (IYKYK) I didn't bother him though. Woody Harrelson, Julianne Moore, and Sarah Paulson were also in town but I never saw them.
And one other time, (I just remembered) two female friends and I were on our way to lunch and walked right by comedian Chris Rock, standing outside his hotel. He was in town filming Head of State. I took a quick picture of my friends posing with him. I just told him, "I loved you in Dogma!"
Oh, I should probably add that we've encountered a good number of famous Pittsburgh Steelers players, especially one time in the early 80s when my brother, dad, and I went to Miami for a Steelers/Dolphins Thursday night game. We stayed at the same hotel as the Steelers did, so they were just hanging around the place. We used to do the same in Cleveland, but there were always throngs of Steeler fans there so the players didn't show themselves for long. But in Miami, there were no crowds so we had them to ourselves and they were much more agreeable to autographs and pictures.
Wow. You did encounter a great many. And unlike me you were cool. Telling Mellencamp, Oh it's you was one of my biggest blunders. Oh who my kidding I've had a ton of blunders. Baltimore appears to be rockin' with celebrities.
Post a Comment