Short People Got No Reason...🎵

My feet have never touched the floor when sitting on anything.

I once had an interview that was extremely important to me. I met the woman at the Mayflower Hotel in DC. She and her team were in DC for a 3-day conference, so it was arranged that, since I lived there to meet there for the final interview instead of flying to Boston.

We sat in this big lounge area. 

We were in an area that had tables with very high-backed upholstered chairs.

Our table was a bit to the side of us, so neither of us had our legs under the table.

I sat on the edge of my seat with my legs crossed at my ankles. Hands in my lap. She kept telling me to relax and sit back. 

I said once, "Oh, I'm comfortable, thank you." 

The 2nd time she told me to sit back, I asked, "Is it bothering you if I don't sit back?"  

She told me it was making her uncomfortable.

So I said, "Okay, then I'll move back, but now you can't laugh."  

I smiled, and she looked at me like I was so not getting this job.

I sat all the way back in this big chair.  

My feet were so far off the ground, and my knees were above the seat cushion. Thank God I was wearing slacks. I looked like Edith Ann.

I felt ridiculous and embarrassed.  

I said, "I don't appear as authoritative now, do I?"

She laughed, apologized, and laughed some more. 

I went back to sitting as I was originally and said, "So you can't not give me this position after I humiliated myself."

She said, "You're right."

I got the job. But if I had been 5'8", I would have too.

You get it, short people can't reach anything except the baseboards.

When I was a kid, my father, the plumber, came home with this new toilet, and it hung from the wall. It had no pedestal. 

It was the same ghastly green color as our tub and sink. 

He probably got it for free. 

Or it "fell" off a truck, and some guy gave it to him. uh huh.

Anyhoo, being that it wasn't on the floor, I had to have a stool to get up and down.

When I got older, I did not need a stool to get on or off; I could jump. 

However, dangling legs and feet when sitting to do your business isn't fun either.

Then, as I got older, I realized that even on a commode that was a normal pedestal toilet, when I sit on it, my feet do not sit flat on the floor. My toes touch the floor. 

So imagine my surprise when we got to our hotel last week and I rushed in from the car to use the bathroom.  I went to sit down, and I turned around because it wasn't there.  The toilet was so low to the ground. Was this a grade school toilet?

But then I sat, and oh my goodness, my whole foot was flat on the floor.  

I came out of the bathroom and said, "My God, that is what you people have had all your life?" Rick thinks it's funny. What the hell does he know he's over 6'

That week, I only used that bathroom. 

Or as my Big Guy called it, 'the baby potty'

I don't care what he called it; my feet touched the floor for the first time in my life that I can even remember.  

I had blocks on my tricycle for pete's sake, just so I could reach the pedals.

You all just don't understand when you're a normal height. I'd give anything to be 5'10" and I'd wear heels! 

My next life - tall, thin, and blonde.  I just know those bitches get everything!