How Was Your Friday?

Grab a cup of coffee, or your favorite beverage and listen to how a bad Friday rolled out for me.

Thursday I had a Dr. Appointment with Dr. Li the neurosurgeon at his Spine Pain clinic.

I was to talk about how well the big injection made me feel. 

(no better at all!)

I just had to endure that pain for nothing is how I see it. And pay for it. 

Thursday morning I could not function at all. Now here is TMI...

I had to get down the short hall to the bathroom. I couldn't walk I was trying and I was concerned I wasn't gonna make it. Rick was outside in his shop.  I was crying, "walking" and squeezing so I wouldn't pee myself.  

Too late.  I then crawled to the bathroom. Took a shower. I sat on that damn bench in the shower and cried. God, I am so tired of this. 

I am so frustrated with this. 

My phone was on the floor when I crawled into the bathroom.  After my shower, I got my phone. Took forever. I got in the 'chair' and tried to chill. 

I am doing the breathing I do for pain as Rick walks in. He suggested I cancel my appointment since I can't even get dressed with even his help. 

I call the Dr.'s office and tell them what's going on. They had no openings until next week. Okay, I just can't come today unless you have something later in the day. Nope, they did not. Okay book it for next week.

  

The next thing I know the doctor is calling me. We are going over my pain.  He tells me that we are skipping the next step and jumping into the spinal cord stimulator. He explains why and I agree. He gives me his cell phone number if I need anything. He tells me to text or call him.  Wow that was nice. He is getting me in at 2pm Friday. I will meet with Dave from the company that makes these. Like Rick's pacemaker they are involved as well. They discuss the device and they are the ones who will keep in touch with me to see how it's working. They are just not neurosurgeons who do the implanting.

Remember now, I am given no pain pills. I am out of my mind.  But when the dr. called me back I asked for pain pills. He was going to give me steroids and I said NO. I want pain pills.  He called in for 30 Percocets.

Finally, it's only been since March. 

Rick drove me to the doctor's office and I had him come in. 

I wanted him to hear all the information on this new gizmo. It is temporary to be sure it works. If after 5 days it does it will be surgically implanted. You see, the wires are inside but the device is on the outside during the test period to be sure it is helpful for me.

The first part of my appointment was how this works. They have gone over this with me many times but I get why they did it again. This time I had the wires shown to me in a demo with a fake spine. I understood what was being done, and how it HOPEFULLY would help me as well as the do's and don't. It basically stops the pain in my brain which I find interesting.

 

I can not bend, twist, or basically do anything other than just sit after I have this done. 

I can't shower either because of this being outside of my body with the temporary one. It can't get it wet he was adamant about.  So it's whore baths for a week.  Guess I am not seeing people. Here comes the stinky gimp!😀

I had to lay on my stomach as they injected me with something they claimed was a numbing agent. I do not know what it numbed cuz I felt it all. OOh boy did it burn. I told him halfway through that I was feeling everything and asked if I should be feeling all this.  No, he says and he gave me another shot. Whew. He apologized and on he went.

He went up the left side for a long time. He was getting jammed due to the vertebrae not having enough room for him to get through. He kept hitting the bone. The pressure feels like a semi-truck is sitting on your back.  I know I whimpered at one point. I asked for Kleenex. My face is in that hole on the table, my nose is running, and tears are falling.  

There is this big sheet thing over me. I grab a piece of something that felt like a velcro belt of sorts on this table. I grabbed them and squeezed when I needed. i think Dave notice and he got on the floor and put his hand under the sheet and said, Grab my two fingers if you need to.  Oh I needed to.  He was so kind. 

The dr said, "Peggy we are going to try the right side. I'm very sorry"  

I couldn't believe it. I had to endure this again?

I could feel him pushing this and it was doing the same thing. He was shaking me and the table now.  Finally, after 1 hr of extraordinary pain, they said they couldn't do it.  He apologized. They showed me the issue which I could see plain as day on the films. It looks fine until you get in there. I saw the problem. I couldn't be mad at them for trying. But I sure as hell went through a lot to get nothing in return.

Getting me onto my feet was a treat. I got dressed and went to the outside room where Rick was. Dave was apologizing (the spinal cord dude) He said he has seen this several times. No big deal he says, it will just have to be done in the hospital.  

Dr. Li called the neurosurgeon who he works with when this happens.

That neurosurgeon is to call me on Monday.  We shall see. Being Xmas week I am doubtful.

By 8pm Friday I felt like my back had been kicked by a horse a few times.

Yeah, that was fun. 

I can't sleep on my sides due to this. So I sleep in a chair.  I couldn't sleep in the chair because it hurt against my back. 

Now for some crazy ass reason, this brought me to giggles.

Should I sleep standing up I ask Rick.  

He laughed and said, "Oh fun - Peg tipping"  

(if not familiar with cow tipping this makes no sense to you)

Damn Rick you're cruel. I am tired, hangry, and in pain, and yet I now have the giggles about what the hell my life looks like right now. Of course, Rick doesn't help any with his comments. Smart ass is funny. Laughter does help with pain even if it is all in my head. 

Rick fetched me a big bed pillow and I got all situated and felt comfortable. 

I kept moving in the chair I guess because at one point Rick said if you are that uncomfortable take a Percocet. 

So I cut one in half and took it.  I don't like the high feeling I get from these. I know, I know. I wanted some pain relief I just wish it didn't make me dizzy and feel like crap. So when it kicked in I closed my eyes.  I don't get why people enjoy them. But guess who slept for 6 hours straight?  Ah, if felt so good.

So here I am on Saturday just doing what I do. I have the regular pain. It is not bad. My back feels like it would be black and blue but Rick says it's not.  It just feels like I've been run over. 

Friday I heard the doctors discussing with Rick as I dressed, the 2 things they will probably do but until the surgeon looks at all my films, etc they aren't positive. I hear a laminectomy and inserting this SCStimulator.

I have had laminectomies I really wasn't ready for back surgery just having this device implanted.  

So until Monday, I do not know what is going to transpire.

I hope the end of the pain is near. I want my life back.