We all survived the weekend.
I won't bore you with the details because they bore me.
Nothing new with her and it was stressful for us all, even the dog.
Rick and I both feel as if we have a stress hangover this morning.
She is a heavy feeling for me. She exhausts me. She is arrogant, knows everything about everything and of course you don't know squat.
Rick was telling a story about work and she stopped him and said, "well you're wrong that is not how it's done."
He said, "oh enlighten me," I thought oh she went and pissed him off.
He is so much nicer and calmer than me but I know that comment was him about to take off.
She said, "Well I don't know how to do that sort of work but I just know that isn't how it's done."
He again said, "then tell me why you don't think it's right, help me out so I can learn."
He was being dead serious and quite nice but I felt the tension.
She said, "never mind. I know what I'm talking about." as she walked up the stairs to her room.
Now a normal person would say, I've never heard it done this way. Can you do this and that and make this instead?
No, she always comes off telling me, or whomever we are just wrong.
She knows everything about everything. She enlightened us on finances, mediumship and the spirit world, my tumor in my eye and what it was and how to cure it, her father's diet or what he should be eating, my home decor and many more. Apparently, since we do everything wrong and ugly I am amazed we are both standing.
She was whining about the money she got from her divorce.
I said you got a lot of money A., be thankful and just move on to bigger and better things. Don't dwell on him, don't look back.I bet you've learned a lot that will help you moving forward.
Her response? "Yep, I learned to pick locks successfully so I got what I deserved."
Being evil step mommy I asked, "did you?"
"Well no, but it pissed him off so it worked to a degree".
These are things I would not be proud of but boy she is.
She got 40K for her downpayment on her new home.
She paid off her fancy volvo which wasn't cheap.
She put some in the savings.
She makes a living of 60K a year. She was just promoted at work and will be making about 10k more.
I wear my Peggy face the whole time and let me tell you that too is exhausting.
I smile, I nod a lot, I walk away and make food just to not deal with her.
As Rick said at one point in the weekend. She says nothing positive.
I asked how the wedding was. She said it was okay.
I asked her if she had spent much time with the groom, what is he like?
She said, "well, I like him better than I did originally."
That was the most positive thing she said all weekend.
If she didn't look like Rick I'd make him do a DNA test but she has absolutely NOTHING in common with her. Oh wait, they both love crab. So there is that I suppose.
Rick and I worked on the deck on Saturday morning/afternoon while she was at the wedding. Because Rick still has the steps and landing to do we were at least able to get things back in place.
It was so nice because Saturday night before she came home Rick and I could sit on our patio and share some wine and just be us without the stress.
We put together planter boxes, planted some flowers. Moved furniture and area rugs, power washing etc. It's getting there. Now it will be too damn hot to sit out there.
I was sweating bullets on Saturday. We have nothing but full sun back there.
I thought I'd turn on the outdoor fan. It has a mister but I didn't need the water, just the fan. When I did hit the button to come on I didn't realize Rick had turned off the fan and left on the mister. I am standing on top of this fan when I reached for the power. It blew water and fanned me at speed 3. It almost blew me back a foot or two. I was now drenched. Rick heard me yelp when I was surprised by the water and fan hitting my face. He came out of the garage and said, "what did you do? Entering a wet T-shirt contest are ya? I'd say you win." (idiot.)
I was drenched as though I took a shower in my clothes. My hair was dripping in my eyes and I was wearing my contact (in my bad eye) I was so wet, but guess what I wasn't hot anymore. Rick, of course, found it all so funny.
By the time we were calling it quits for the day I had dried out completely.
This weekend Rick should be able to finish the steps and we're done.
Yipee.
I knew all the great cooler weather would be gone by the time we were done.
After next week's completion (see how I am saying that positively?) I will take some photos to show you the new deck. I know we will have a few things left to do but it will be done for the most part. Just aesthetics won't be done. You won't mind now will ya?
15 comments:
Oh, Peg. I am so sorry that Rick's daughter has the apparently toxic and unpleasant (and may I say spoiled?) personality her Mom has.
If I were in your shoes ~ I would do nothing differently, because even if they are unpleasant, they are still family. No, wait.....I would probably drink more. At least you like wine. I would probably gain 20 pounds from all the beer I would drink, lol.
On the other hand, Rick has some awesome timing, asking you about winning the wet tee shirt contest. So, given what an amazing husband you have, at least your daughter-in-law doesn't live next door. :-)
Sometimes it takes a little doing, but leave it to me to find the silver lining. I keep hoping I'll lose weight by being in a vehicle with no a/c....we'll see about that one.
Every time I read or hear stories of children of divorce I'm double down on how glad I am that I never had to deal with that kind of baggage. Sounds like there is any 'safe' topics to discuss with your step-daughter. Congratulations on getting through the weekend without giving or getting a black eye. :)
We have a know it all friend who is similar, though not toxic, just a know it all. THe other night we were having dinner at by a lake and he says,
"Look at that, an eagle."
"I say really, where?"
"Over there, there are three of them."
"I say you mean those eagles circling that look a lot like buzzards?"
"Yes, those eagles."
No sense arguing.
Whew, I am worn out just reading about this Negative Nellie. Some people are just plain toxic and should be avoided as much as possible, but that's hard when they are a pert of the family.
We don’t get to pick our family, unfortunately!
I guess it is a blessing she doesn't live closer. Poor Rick, this has to really hurt him. She has been too formed by her mom to morph into a real person.
Think I might fake a coma the next time she comes to visit.
Its', please tell me your name unless you wish to remain anonymous. I feel silly writing It's all the time. Still no a/c huh? You are tougher than me that is for certain. And yes, he does have this habit of showing up at the right time. He says it's the boobs. They are eye magnets, ear enhancers (he says he hears when they are out) He's just an idiot. But we were trying to not think about this visit.
Jean, I never had kids. I was single and didn't wish to marry a man with children, but you can't help who you fall in love with. Thankfully she is in our life much less now.
Joeh, oh my gosh that is a hoot! That is something my husband would do and say and I would laugh my ass off. You can't argue with those types and I don't. It's like debating with an orange bully. Can't match wits with those unarmed I say.
Olga, yes it takes me a full week to get her toxic shit out of my house and being. Each and every time I must build up for it. She is family in name only, she doesn't wish to be a part of our family.
Linda, sadly I know!
Patti - This kills Rick. I've seen him cry over the years over her behavior and lack of affection etc. But a couple of years ago she did something and he looked at me with the most serious of faces that I have ever seen from him and he declared, "I AM DONE" And it helped him. But it still hurts him I know it. He is such a softy. We are thankful she lives in Ohio.
Maybe you could put up a pop up tent when you want to go out there? They are pretty cheap and don't take much to put up.
My oldest is (maybe) bipolar so I know all about all the negativity. TG this week she's been more up (which is more like just being level).
I'm glad it wasn't me. I'd have had an emergency trip out of town and just left here there. Hahaha
Julie, ah man sorry to hear this. hopefully she has more level days than not. It can be trying on the family which I have learned.
Barbara, don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. But, I also know I couldn't leave Rick. He would sure understand but I know it helps with me here. so we suffer together and then I vent and bitch on my blog
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