Rick's daughter is arriving sometime today.
She left Columbus yesterday and went straight to her cousin's home who lives a few towns away from me. She stayed the night at her house last night.
Her cousin's wedding is tomorrow. Amanda is the maid of honor.
She'll bring her stuff here and then get ready for rehearsals and rehearsals dinner.
Then early tomorrow she'll be up and off to a hotel with the bridal party for makeup and hair and the pictures.
Then the wedding and reception.
We figure she'll roll in late.
Sleep most of Sunday and hopefully, we can at least do brunch or lunch for fathers day before she leaves. We'll see.
Basically we are just a hotel this weekend and honestly, that is fine with me.
She is not easy to deal with so her not being here much is just terrific to me the evil stepmommy.
Her father and I have had a very tough and exhausting week.
She brings us stress. She is 39 and spoiled. Not by us. We didn't have much influence because we did not get to have her live with us. Only visitations and even though they had a schedule he would drive 2 hrs to pick her up and her mother would say I changed my mind she is not going and slam the door in his face. If he rang the bell it would be ignored. He even called once from the corner store. She wouldn't answer. An argument would begin between the two of them and then Rick would drive the 2 hrs home angry, sad and miserable because he wasn't getting Amanda. Oh, the stories of that woman.
You know it's funny. I too am divorced from my 1st husband. I did not have children though. But I can't imagine ever doing what her mother did. She said for her whole life that her father was bad. Her father was this or that. As a child, she would tell us this. Her mother went so far as to tell her that her father killed her dog. Can you even fathom that? What a horrible person. And just so you know Rick could never do that period. But he didn't even have access to the dog who was 2 hrs away.
Her mother must have taken the dog somewhere (we have no idea or she had it killed we don't know) but Amanda came home from school and she was probably 9/10 and she asked where her dog was? Her mother told her her father killed it. She balled her eyes out I bet. Who does that? Did she get a kick out of watching her daughter in that kind of pain?
She never told us this until she was 18. She said she was mad at her dad for years but then as an older child she asked about the dog and her mom would never give her straight answers and she began to see some things that we were thankful she came to on her own.
I loved my ex-husband I just didn't want to be married to him. That love doesn't die. Not in love, but cared about him. Yes, he slept with a friend and I hated him for it. But if it hasn't happened we'd still have gotten a divorce. We were miserable and too damn young to have gotten married in the first place.
After the dust cleared I felt as though if I loved this man enough to marry him how do I learn to hate him? And I never did hate him. I took a different path. I hated what he did to me. We were only 26 when it ended. Too young to even have been married for so long. He apologized at the time and then again 30 years later. I was happy in my life it was over, I didn't care. But it was nice that he did that.
But my point is that if I had children I would NEVER EVER say anything bad about their other parent. I would never marry someone so awful that I could hate them. It's not me. But telling a kid your other parent killed your pet is so awful I can't wrap my head around it. That really is fucked up to do to a kid. Rick never said anything bad about his wife and there were times when I wanted to say something to her a few times when she said something so wrong. I wanted to scream that isn't the truth.
But Rick said he wasn't going to stoop to her level. His hope was that as an adult Amanda would see what her mother was like. But she is her mother now. She is vindictive, mean and must have her way at all times. She is not a nice or thoughtful person and I can't even begin to tell you how much this breaks my husband's heart. He keeps trying but she doesn't. It's hard to watch. I am just evil stepmommy and I have been since she was 7. This year on my birthday I got a card. First card ever from her. I was shocked. I made a fuss to her so she realized I appreciated the thoughtful gesture. We buy her gifts and never hear about it. I send thank you cards. Rick normally will end up calling her to see she got it and if she liked it.
We usually get, yeah I got it, it was nice. End of story. With all the enthusiasm of an inanimate object.
But let's end on a high, Our niece who was raised by my mother and father just got engaged. Everyone is thrilled. This man gets her and I love seeing that.
He loves her to pieces. He lets her soar and he supports her in all things. I love them together.
We all knew before her sadly, because her boyfriend asked my mom first. (dad was in hospice at the time) She was excited and told some of the sisters like me.
I couldn't wait for it to happen. It did 2 weeks ago. She called Rick and asked if he would walk her down the aisle since her "dad" just died.
OMG, It made Rick cry. He has such a special place in his heart for the girls my parents raised. When they were born we lived in the same town and we had them all the time. ALL.THE.TIME.
We wanted to adopt them as I have said here before. This one would ask Rick if she could call him Daddy when she would hug him. They adored Uncle Ricky as they call him. Ariana is a tiny little thing and a former gymnast. As a 4 yr old, she would ask Rick to hold out his arms and stand still. Of course, Rick listens to a 4 yr old and does it. She would climb him like a tree until she could sit on his shoulders.
But the two of them have always had a special bond. This request made the big guy so happy but as he said, "Damn now I must lose this belly!"
No, he won't. He can't last longer than 3 days on a diet that man.
I don't think it will matter to Ariana if he diets or not. She just loves this special man and he loves and adores her.
14 comments:
Glad you ended on a happy note! Rick's daughter might finally grow up someday, you never know. But her mother ought to be ashamed of herself for lying to increase her own importance in her daughter's eyes. My first husband and I divorced when my oldest son was 2 1/2. We had plenty of disagreements about visitation, and although I thought my ex was being unfair, I never said anything about it to our son, because I love him enough to make sure he knew both of his parents were there for him. Children ought to just be children....and not a tool to be used.
There are some horrible parents out there. My friend's husband's ex is crazy like that. But she's also a mean step mom so the poor kid gets it from every way.
My bio dad doesn't put any effort into being in my life. Now he's moved across the country so I'll probably never see him again.
Its' - I get this so much. My mom died when I was 13. It still is a major thing in my life. I hate what my dad did to me after she was gone - making me fill in for her except in the bedroom of course. I didn't get to be a kid from then on. I would do all I could to just let a kid be a kid because being separated from any parent as a child just plain sucks.
Julie, I'm sorry. that sucks. Men shouldn't share sperm unless they wish to be a father - a real father!
Sadly Rick's daughter just may be a lost cause. She has had too many years with a horrid role model in her Mom. This has to kill Rick. Thank God he has the niece who loves him and wants him to walk her down the isle.
My friend experienced the same thing dealing with his daughter. He wasn't allowed to see his daughter until her mother died and even that took many years for them to see one another. Eventually they got together again and he was able to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. Unfortunately, he now has dementia and Parkinson and cannot remember people. How horrible that his ex - wife did what she did about him and he wasn't given the years with his daughter.
Thank God, his niece loves him like a daughter. She sounds like a wonderful person.
Cruisin Paul
Patti, this does kill Rick. More than I can ever explain. Someday I will write about a Xmas that mom did the most horrid thing to him and his daughter. Yes, this niece is special to him and he is so proud and happy for her.
Paul, it is tough to be on the outside (like you and I) and see people use children to be vindictive to one another. Hey how 'bout those Raptors? We were rootin' for them in my house. Have a wonderful weekend
Tell Rick to get working of that belly. He's got a good excuse to follow through.
I'm so glad Rick has your nieces to make up for the bad relationship with his daughter. I've known people who poisoned the minds of their kids against the absent parent and I just don't get that. My x-sister-in-law did try a little bit but the kids were smart and figured it out early on.
I am so glad that your post ended with a loving note. That was really very sad about Rick's daughter and her cruel, cruel mother.
It's so sad that despite Rick and the ex-wife getting divorced, she never learned the basics. Children should not be included in adult drama, because they learn from us. My husband I got married too young too, and were better being apart, but we didn't try to turn our son against each other, and I never even tried to get child support. To this day, my son and I talk about how his dad was a good father, and we focus on the good things. It was a little rough for him yesterday not having his dad here, but he loved talking about the memories. At some point, I would think that Rick's ex would have realized that causing her daughter to miss out from being with her dad is just mean and useless,a and at 39, I would think that Amanda would want to talk to her dad and take the time to learn about who he really is and make her own conclusions. Very sad situation, and I hate to think Amanda or her mother would pass on to the other side with this not being resolved.
Wow! Many good wishes to Ariana fro finding the love of her life,and it sounds like they'll be married forever. What a wonderful romance, and how great for Rick to be honored by giving her away. Of course, the other great romance is you and Rick.(smile) Hugs, RO
Rick has attempted to discuss with her the past and he is met with shrugs, doesn't wish to talk. The last time he attempted he told her he feels a lot of anger and anomisty from her. If she won't tell him what do you think about going to counseling together? She rolled her eyes, said nothing, and walked away. Makes him feel like she doesn't care. He told me after that last effort he was done. So I no longer nag him or suggest talking to her. She is a grown ass adult supposedly. We both have tried and she hates me. So I now feel like I can't say anything at all. She is brutally cold and arrogant. You can feel the chill.
Loved the story. Made me think of my own situation. May write a post about it.
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