I'm Baaack

Hey blogger buddies, thank you all for the kind words/comments on the last post. I appreciated them very much.

It was a whirlwind trip.
I drove north for 6 hours and had 3 seasons. Wild. 

I got to the hotel, changed my clothes and ran back out to the funeral and wake.
They had a luncheon at a restaurant and then they all went to my friend's Uncle's home. I was worried I might be intrusive and so I thought I wouldn't go. However, they thought otherwise so I did. 

I walked into this charming home and it was loud and there was laughter and hugging. I got past the foyer and it looked like any of my family Italian get together. Very loud, food, booze, kids running, people laughing and hugging. I felt right at home. The Irish are the same. See? We are all not that much different are we?

I had gotten up at 4am to make the trip so by 7p I was so tired. I left their home and grabbed something to eat. (I could not eat the food at their home due my issues with celiac) I found something and brought it back to my hotel. I ripped off my clothes, makeup and devoured my dinner and was fast asleep by 8:30p. It was a very long day for me.

The following morning was the luncheon with Gordon and all our friends.
It was perfect. Everyone brought photos and boy did we laugh. 
We had a nice meal, a few cocktails, tons of laughing. 
Gordon looks so very thin and frail. 
He has the same type of cancer as Steve Jobs. So he walks in with this black turtleneck on and proclaimed if it was good enough for Jobs...

He shaved his head so he didn't have to see it all fall out. Last summer he had a full head of brown hair. He is completely white now. Ah, what illness does to us. 
He had a good appetite I noticed so that was good. But he is quite thin.

But boy the laughter, the love, all of it was great.
At one point the waitress came over and said, You guys are having too much fun over here. We asked if we were being too loud and she said, "hell no, have fun, we love laughter. Just don't start fighting." Gary looked at Gordon and said, "Yea Gordon, don't start with me." and off we went with more laughing. 
We all knew why we were there. Gordon thought it was because I was in town.  Then when some went to the bathroom or to the bar, he took me aside to say, "You know don't you?"  I nodded and we hugged. That was all.

We all talked about how we met and our first impressions and my God was that funny as hell. Melanie thought I was this prim and proper young woman and she really wanted nothing to do with me. It was 1979.  I met her because of Gordon. She realized I was not what she thought I was.
Then she became my best friend. 

Gordon said, "I knew of you because of your nickname. I loved your nickname but Doc told us to NEVER say that in front of you or in earshot because it made you cry. 
So, of course, I would never have done that because it really was piggish but funny, rude yet appropriate and mostly because I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, but c'mon Peg it was perfect" 
I laughed and told him he could say it if he wanted. And he looked at everyone and put his arms out, "Hey I'm dying, I get to say how much I love my friend Tits Malitz.  There is an upside to this dying thing people" 

Now that is only funny to us in that room but it made us crack up. 
Doc who was mentioned above was my high school boyfriend and 1st husband.
Gordon met me through Doc. I got Gordon in the divorce as I like to say.

In the end, when I hugged him goodbye I knew it was the last time I would see him alive. He knew it too. It was a long strong hug. We looked into each other's eyes and said how much we meant to each other. I told him I'd call in a week or so. He lives alone and I worry so about him. Melanie is driving him to chemo and I said, "I'll check in and make sure you haven't killed Mel."  That made him laugh because it is rather true. Besides he hates the fact that I would check on him but telling him to see if he killed Melanie, now that would make him happier. So I went that route. :-)

We all got in our cars. They all drove away or so I thought.  I sat there and cried. Michael surprised me and knocked on my window. He asked if I wanted to go get an ice cream cone at the beach. So we did. We sat in the sand eating ice cream and talking. It was a very nice day even though a bit sad. I am glad I did this. But I'm still having trouble shaking it.

Then I went to my parents. My father has really gone downhill. He is so frail. His Parkinsons has gotten so much worse. He got this after dementia and according to my mother the dr. says this is from dementia. I tucked my dad into bed. He looked so cute in his red plaid pajamas. I sat with him and I rubbed his arm. I know he didn't know me because he again said, "I was so nice I could come back to visit"
As we held hands and I rubbed his arm I told him it was okay to let go, go be with mom, it's okay now, we've got this. If you need to move on Dad, we'll all be fine. You've done a great job of being my dad. Just say hi to mom for me."  He opened his eyes and just smiled at me and muttered "mary" my mom's name. Then he closed his eyes. I don't know if he heard any of that. I don't know what he understands either anymore. I just hate seeing him like this. This is no life. This proud strong man who worked so hard all his life and now he is just a skinny, frail man who doesn't know who anyone is. 

I am thankful that my stepmom is so much younger than Dad and that she can be his caregiver but I can see it all on her face too. The stress. It's all over her face. And she's not young, just not 90. She refuses to put him in a facility. I don't care for my hometown or ever want to live there, but I sure wish I was closer so I could help more.

The following morning I drove him in torrential rains for 5 of the 6 hours of my journey. I was so happy to be home. I left early because I can't drive in the dark. You know this whole eye thing. 

It wasn't a fun trip but it was a necessary trip. I am glad it stopped snowing up there and I could get there. They were something like 1/10 of an inch short of the record and the goofballs were hoping to break it. The city was short that amount, the suburbs surpassed it. Who cares about breaking a snowfall record of 200 inches in a season? They did have snow in April so they almost did it. 
I would think you'd want to break the record of NOT having snow for a one week period. Now that would have been a record to strive for up there in my eyes!

that's me with the gray bangs, Melanie and Gordon. The hat thing was a joke. Long story.