Happy?

I knew a woman I met through a job function. 
To me, she seemed to have it all.
But she never seemed truly happy. 

TJ had a career in radio as a marketing and branding professional.
Her husband was also in radio. But now he was a professor teaching communications at a college and did all aspects of radio at the college with the students.

TJ and her lovely husband seemed to have a wonderful life.
I knew her at a time when I was just starting out and she had all the material things I would long for. She had a husband that was the nicest man in the world. 
They both loved their jobs and I thought they were happy. They lived in a big fancy house with lots of stuff and toys.

One day she came to my apartment and asked if I thought I'd be ready to buy a home soon. I said I just turned 31 and I travel all the time, I'm happy with renting right now. Perhaps a condo or something but I am never home and this works fine for me right now. Besides, I just started to make a little bit of money and I surely can't afford to buy right now.
I felt as she asked she was judging me but not quite sure. But there was a tone and frankly, I didn't care. I liked my little life and my apartment was cute. I didn't need a house. 

Then later that week we were in my old car. You see she had a very fine luxury car and I felt like she was slumming it in my car. We were talking about her work when she just changed course and said, "Are you happy? You always seem happy."  I have to tell you that threw me. Where the hell did that come from and why did it seem like she thought I had no reason to be happy yet I was.

So I asked her the latter. She said, "Well you don't have much yet you always seem happy"  Huh. I said, "I have a lot. I am smitten with a man who cherishes me, I love my job and where I am in the life right now. 
I don't have a lot of material things but I'll get there as my career goes along...I hope"

I have always remembered that conversation. At the time I thought it was such an odd question to ask someone. At the same time, I felt a bit judged like I shouldn't be happy since I didn't have lots of money and "stuff".  OH PHOOEY.

I've been happy poor, I've been happy with money. 
I prefer with money. I admit that with no hesitation!
Not for more stuff. But for health, insurance, and the lack of stress of not having enough brings you. But for more stuff? I don't need stuff. 
I have all I need. Wants are different from needs. Sure I want another pair of shoes. I don't need another pair of shoes. 

When Rick and I lived in that apartment and honestly had nothing. 
No extra money in a savings account. No extra money to go out or buy things. We just had enough to get by...barely. But boy oh boy do we look back on those days and talk about how much we laughed, how much we did with nothing and how damn happy we were. In fact, one hot humid day living with no air conditioning we wanted a cocktail. But we were broke and only had gin in the house. Yes, we had gin at our home but no tonic. No money to go buy tonic. No other types of mixers at all, not even juice. At the time I couldn't drink it straight so we just looked around our house. We had a packet of raspberry Kool-Aid and decided to try that. That began my summer love of Kool-Aid and Tanqueray. We called it our white trash summer drink. Yes, we were broke, but we made fun in our own way. 

We went to the beach a great deal. It's free. We had a picnic once in our living room. I came home so exhausted and he had a blanket on the floor and picnic food waiting for me. He even made ants out of black paper. It made me laugh and the stress of work flew away. We used to fly kites on the beach, we would walk after dinner to the DQ with $ from our coin jars to buy a treat, we went canoeing in the lagoons, we had people over for dinner and told them to bring the liquor that matched the meal. 
(Chinese, Italian, Mexican etc.)
We found ways to have fun without a lot of money. And yes, we were happy.

Today we are stressed. Stressed because we are self-employed. It's far harder than anything I have ever done in my life. The stress is far worse than anything I have ever had to deal with as well. But overall I am a happy person.
Rick and I have a great life together. As Rick said when I mentioned to him about our "old" days of being so broke but happy that it seemed like we had more fun then. He said we did, we didn't have as many responsibilities and we were young and naive. True, maybe we need to get rid of some responsibilities I said. Hmm...

Do you think you can change from being miserable to being happy?
I know a person who is always negative and thrives on the negativity. I don't think she would ever be happy. It's not who she is. It doesn't appear to be in her DNA. I think for her being miserable is her happy place.

Being a happy person doesn't mean you don't have down/depressed times.
Being a happy person doesn't mean you only see roses and rainbows either.
I wonder if you are just pre-programmed that way. 
Either happy or not so happy.
Sort of like the glass half full or half empty. 
I have a sister who lives in victim-dom or unhappy world and I really believe she likes it there. 
It's comfortable for her there for whatever reason. She isn't a victim, she has never been, she just likes to believe she is. She is always unhappy except when she can make others feel unhappy too. Then she is happy.

What do you think?
Are you born a happy person or do you make a happy person with work on oneself? Or both?
I don't remember being any other way so I am leaning towards it is in my DNA just like my sister who loves being miserable. But I am still not convinced.
We've been talking a lot about this in our home of late.

Okay, you're turn, share! Born that way? Made that way through your own work?