Risque

I don't work today. YIPEE!

Last evening a neighbor stopped by. I will not be using her name since she asked me not to. We will call her Susie instead. We opened some wine and had some goodies and laughed all darn night. She mentioned stopping by because her children were with their dad so we said sure, wear your pj's if you want, be comfy. And we all were in sweats and comfy clothes with slippers. There is nary a decoration in the home of these scrooges but a candle that smells like a Xmas tree. That candle she found very funny.  The fireplace was on, there was a table of goodies and a few bottles of red wine. It was nice. But the laughter was the best. My goodness we laughed until my cheeks hurt.  And we laughed about the most stupid and juvenile of things. 

Here are 3 phrases that Rick, myself and Susie went on about last night.
The first one was 'Wet Signature'. 
Susie is refinancing her home. 
She was telling us that her mortgage person sent her an email that day and said he would need a "wet signature"
Well, my perverted husband went somewhere else in his mind.
Sadly he didn't keep it just in his mind, he made a comment. 
That comment had Susie and I howling with laughter because if we were being honest, that was where our mind went to. Only thing is my husband has no filter and he just blurts shit out without thinking. You can tell he is no longer in HR.  

Susie stated that she was afraid to write back and ask what the hell a wet signature was.  She went on, "I'm a teacher I should know right?"  
Well, I'm not a teacher and I sure didn't know what it meant. 
So off to google we 3 go to read the definition of a wet signature.
Here is what Google had to say about it - 
A wet signature is created when a person physically marks a document. In some cultures, this is done by writing a name in a stylized, cursive format (or even a simple “X”) on a piece of paper. Other cultures use name seals to the same effect.

Now, why couldn't he just say he needed an ink signature and not a digital signature? Rick was close in his real guess so 1 for Ricky.

That brought us to the 2nd one. When our neighbor brought up the wet signature Rick asked, "is it anything like Wet Work?" and he laughed. But again she and I had no idea. In unison, we ask, "What the hell is WetWork?"  
I shouldn't have asked.
Google said - Wetwork (Russian: мокрое дело, tr. mokroye delo) is a euphemism for murder or assassination, alluding to spilling blood.

We did not ask how the hell he knew that. Score 2 for Ricky.

And then he blurts, I saw on Margaret's doctor slip where it said Wet Mount, so what the hell is that ladies? We giggled because we knew where this pervert was going.
We explained that it is done to find infection even if you never say anything to your doctor about one it is just part of the annual exam. But ole Rick didn't believe us so he googled it. He kept saying, yea that is what she says but I don't know...
Wet mount. A sample of the vaginal discharge is placed on a glass slide and mixed with a salt solution. The slide is looked at under a microscope for bacteria, yeast cells, trichomoniasis (trichomonads), white blood cells that show an infection, or clue cells that show bacterial vaginosis.

So after all this "wet" jargon we decided we needed a better topic. Susie said, nothing grim like politics though. We all agreed with that sentiment!
The TV had been on this whole time and after we said no more wet talk, a tv weather person said something about a wet cycle. And like 4th graders we all burst into laughter. It could have been the 3 bottles of wine but seriously folks this was crazy.

Such a nice holiday scene right?
Ah, We are all going to hell.