File Under....Can't make this shit up!

Yesterday Gary had an appointment at a woman's home at 12:30 pm.
This particular woman was a realtor. As I have said ad nauseum here on my blog that realtors have been a pain in the arse.  Now we have some that are terrific, however, that is 3 out of hundreds.

My first encounter with this lovely lass was a month ago.
I asked all the questions like the simple one of, has this tub been reglazed before?
Oh no, she says. We went over everything even though I knew she wasn't listening....she's too important you know.
Then I booked her appointment and she had a hissy fit. 3 weeks? I have to wait 3 weeks? (people it takes me longer to get in to see my hairdresser, chill out)

I got a cancelation sooner so I called her. She didn't call me back.  I called her again. She never called me back so it went to the next person.
She called back after 2 weeks and bitched that I didn't hold it for her.
I let her go off on me and then told her we'd see her on Tuesday, Feb 23rd at 12:30p

I called her on Friday the 19th, I called her on Monday the 22nd. She was not returning my calls. She was to give us a combo box number. She finally called at 9:30 pm on Monday night to tell me that she would be there because she lives next door.  This home is her rental. (slum lord)

We arrive at 12:20p and she is not there. Gary realizing he is early sits in the driveway and waits, and waits.  He again goes next door - no answer. He goes back to the home we are to work in and there is someone that looks homeless and a heroin addict and it scares him.  He sees the man break into the house through a window.  Gary left. He called her. She said, "Oh just wait for me I'll be there in 45 minutes or so." She went on to tell Gary that the man who got in is good at finding ways in as though she knows him and tells Gary to go upstairs and get started.

He walked into the bathroom and found a hot mess. The tub had been refinished a couple of times before. The wall around the tub looked as though it had been moved back when they put in the new tile and they damaged the full ledge of the tub and took out huge chunks of the tub.  Gary called her. He said this tub has been reglazed before there will be an additional cost of $xyz. She begins to yell, "so what if it has I shouldn't have to pay more." He explains that it is an additional 2.5 hrs of labor of stripping that is the reason for the charge. Also, the chunks out of the tub need to be rebuilt and that would be an additional $150. That makes her blow her lid.

Now I wanted to set up an estimate for us to go out and look at this a month ago, she kept telling me her spiel, "I'm too busy, just give me a ballpark." I even asked for her to send photos. "too damn busy" She insisted it was just old, never refinished before. Yep.

She begins to scream through the phone that she has a guy who will do this for $300 so why don't you start negotiating with me Gary. Gary tells her this is the price.  She tells him to do this under the table and he can get the full $300. Gary tells her even if he did that it would be impossible for it to be only $300 for all the work and chemicals I have to use ma'am.  She then lets out a primal scream into the phone and hangs up.

At this point, Gary is completely befuddled. He decides to call me and as he does that his phone rings and it's her. She is ranting about how she has a guy who will do this for $300 or less all over again. Gary said, "did you call him?"  She responded, "Hundreds of times,  he won't answer the phone."  Gary said he tried not to laugh and just told her if she was not happy with this price he was going to have to go to his next job.

Then as if nothing had transpired previously she says calmly "Okay, could you please give (the heroin addict) a ride to this address?"  Gary said, "No ma'am I can't I am working and I will be going on to my next appointment"
She then began yelling again that we were unprofessional and that he should be able to do her a favor and drive this guy (to another city no less) to where he needed to go because she was very busy. Then my favorite, "I'm a realtor and I have important things to do, not like you."

Now Gary is mild mannered and would never ever speak back to someone so to get her off the phone he just said, "Okay."  Hung up, got in his truck and drove to the next appointment and called me with this whole saga. He was worried that we were going to be upset if he walked away from the job and that he said yes and just left.  Hell no!
If she is psycho now, it will only get worse.  Know when to fold them!! But knowing Gary like I do, I knew he was upset.  It really rattled him. He is a big guy but a big ole softy.  He kept saying, "I think she was certifiable Peg" That made me laugh.

He told me the house was a mess and she was going on and on about diplomats moving in there.  He said, there is no way a diplomat and family is going to live in this awful little dirty home.

I know there must be some great realtors out there. But for some reason, I have never met many of those.

When we moved to Seattle we had one that I will never forget.
We were in front of the house waiting for her. Rick spoke to her on the phone because he was living there before I got there. I was coming in for the weekend to look at homes. We were sitting in the car in front of the house. A car pulled up behind us. Rick is looking in his rear view mirror and says, "Oh my this must be her, put your visor down and look in the  mirror"

She had big hair like the 80's only it was 1993. You know like something out of a big hair rock band. She got out of her car apparently blind to the fact that we were in front of her and proceeded to put the zipper down on her top so her boobs were really showing and then she squeezed her arms together and made herself some cleveage.  It was funny. Then she lifted her zipper jacket and rolled up her skirt to make it shorter and then walked in the house. So short if she had pubic hair we would have seen it. Now this was not a hot chick. Think of that gross tan woman in the movie, "What about Mary" That was her.

Rick and I were laughing our asses off. I said, "did you tell her your wife was coming?"  He laughed and said he thought so.  When we got inside the look on her face when she saw me was hysterical.  But the skirt did not get longer and her zipper didn't go up. I even said, "You bra is showing" and pointed to her top while Rick was in the other room. She looked down and finally zipped it up a little bit.  Seriously she was funny. No, we did not buy that house and we found another realtor.

I was walking Izzy one day this past summer and a house a few blocks away was for sale. I saw the realtor locking up the house and go to his car.  He is well known around here. We said hello.  Big name kind of guy around these parts. Izzy did her business and we were walking back home and went by him again. There he was peeing from the passenger seat of his car onto the tree lawn.  I saw him and he just looked at me like it was no big deal.
Honest to God you can't make this up!   Who does that?  How disgusting!
If you are in your car a great deal and you are a man, get a bottle for heaven's sake. To just whip it out and pee in public is crazy shit.  I did not need to see that old geezers weiner!

See why I think what I do about realtors?