Cranky Santa

Last night I meet the worlds oldest crankiest doctor ever.
Allow me to set the picture for you.

I had to return to the ENT office but this time I had to see the doctor, where as last time I saw the doctor who did hearing tests.

This man was as old as dirt.  He was a grumpy old Gus as well. He did not smile.
He looked like Santa Claus, with his white hair that was way too long. 
He had a big ole belly like Santa too.  He wore a red lab coat and with his white hair I swear he could have been Santa at any Mall.  

He was so old that he wore something I have only seen in books or old movies.  
I don't know what they are called but they are  a shiny metal disc in the front and it is attached to a head band that wraps around his head. 
I think they are used as a reflector of light but I do not know for certain.
He really looked like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting with a hint of Santa.

This Cranky Santa Man was going to remove skin that had grown over my ear drum.
They think this was caused from an infection long ago, but they aren't certain.
I was telling the audiologist that this right ear felt like it had water in it or was plugged and it hurt a bit.  So after she looked at it she said I had to go back to him to have it removed.

I was told by Cranky Santa that this wouldn't hurt at all. No need for numbing he tells me after I asked. I lay on the table and he shows me what he is going to do.  He puts this thing in my ear that looked just like a funnel.  Then he showed me the forceps he was going to use to remove this layer of skin over my ear drum. 
He said, "it may pinch so don't move"

PINCH?  If that is a pinch I hate like hell to know what pain is to this guy. 
It hurt like hell. I must say I was shocked by that because honestly I just didn't think it would be anything at all. It felt like a pin pricking along with intense pressure.

Apparently I moved. So he said, "we'll take a break for a minute."
I swear he no sooner said that and he started again. Then he said, "I'm going to stop again and rest my hand and we'll continue is that okay?"  
What am I going to say, No?

He continues and I am putting on my strong face while squeezing the sides of the table with white knuckles.  I am trying to pretend this doesn't hurt one bit.
Finally he finishes and shows me this piece of skin in the shape of my ear drum.
As soon as he got it off I knew. It was as though I was wearing ear muffs and suddenly took them off.Or another way to explain it is when your ears pop and they feel so much better and you can hear better.  That was the feeling....along with intense pain. 

I asked if this could come back. He said, possibly. Never looking up from his folder.
Then he walked out. Guess I'm done then.
So I walk to the reception area and he comes out with my "hearing" folder. 
I asked if removing that would have improved my hearing test.  

He looked over the my results and looked at me and said, "I know what you want to me to say, but I'm sorry it wouldn't have made a difference." This was the first time he smiled and he patted my shoulder in a Cranky Grandfather way.  
He then saw me hold/press on my ear and he said, "Does it still hurt?"
"Yes, it sure does."
"Just go home and take an aspirin you'll be fine, you're a tough girl" he says as he just walks away.

As I stood there paying my bill it was now throbbing like it had a heart beat all its own.
Pain and a heart beat, what every girl wants.

I said to the woman signing me out, "I would think I'd get something to numb this while he did it and possibly  something for afterwards"  
She laughed and told me that Cranky Santa doesn't believe in pain pills or numbing, he thinks we are all just big babies and we just have to suck it up.
Lovely. Me? I prefer better living through modern chemistry.

So today while it feels better to not have the pressure and water in my ear feeling.  It is still throbbing and I have pain. Hopefully that will be gone soon. I took aspirin all day.

Karma for Cranky Santa is going to be a real bitch when he gets sick.