Dish Network, No habla ingles

As though suffering through my computer issues aren't enough this week I also have issues with Dish Network and my new Hopper/Joeys.

I think they have a good idea here but I wish they would have waited until the kinks were straightened out.

The program guide can only be seen on an enormous screen and if I am standing on top of my TV.
I used to be able to make the guide a larger size as an option on our old DVR, but no more.
The last woman I spoke to somewhere in the world told me to just use my remote from my TV, not from my DVR and hit zoom. I actually laughed. I can do the zoom, grey bar etc on my remote but that doesn't change how the guide is shown.
Frankly it's frightening to me that these people probably don't have televisions in whatever 3rd world country we are talking to and they are advising me what to do on mine. 

If you call and get someone in another country which is highly likely they continue to say, "I'm sorry for your inconvenience ma'am. You said your light on your DVR's aren't coming on right?"  OMG, NO!  Or insert any topic that you never even mentioned.

I even speak slowly so that they can understand me. No use!
They never ever understand the first 3 times you tell them something.
Unless my English is so horrific that I just confuse them all in every damn country.
I don't have an accent of any sort so I shouldn't be confusing them.
So I will thank them nicely and hang up and call back until I get someone who sounds American -  and not only sounds it but really understand the language.
I go through this over and over again.
Then I am told that they didn't realize this was an issue. Really?
I am the only one with this issue in the nation?
I feel as though what they are saying between the lines is, "It's just you bitch!"

With my Hopper and Joey's I am able to DVR up to 6 channels at a time with just my 3 TV's.  But unless my Joey's are turned on it won't let me.
Now that sounds easy enough, however the Joey's turn themselves off within a few minutes of no activity. So then I am running up and down stairs to get to the associated Joey at that television to turn it on. It's crazy stupid to have to do this and it defeats the purpose.

When I called this time to ask if I was mistaken or mine are broken I was told they know about it and it will work in 72 hrs.  Great I thought I can hang in there another 72 hrs.
That was last week.
Now granted I realize I am very bad at math but I think 7 days is a tad bit more than 72 hours.  So foolishly today I asked, "another 72 hours or that is just your standard answer?"
She said, " Oh no this is a known issue that has been fixed and you will have it resolved in 72 hrs."
So in other words, "who the hell knows you crazy woman, get off the phone because we don't know either!"  I seriously doubt this will be repaired in 72 hrs.

Now the company who does Dish's service here is out in a small rural community far from here. (You can hear the Deliverance bango's.)
The men who come here to install, repair or replace remind me of these guys.
Remember them? Larry, Darryl and Darryl. Nice but.......



I am living in technology hell this week.
Thank you Microsoft and Dish Network.