The Power

I can't wait until the bloggers get to Z so this alphabet shit is over with.
I don't enjoy it. Sorry to all of you playing that game, but I just don't enjoy it as much as your normal posts.

Bilbo wrote a few days ago that he needs more men to his site/stats.
He mentioned breasts. Yep, that works.
I notice that when I write about that my stats are through the roof.
Or if I mention Sophia Vergara....which is just like saying breasts isn't it?
So Bill your next header should just be Sophia and watch those stats climb.

He also had a few cartoons from another blogger about having big boobs.
Since I was born wearing a training bra I know something about this topic.
I have told you all before I have always hated these "girls" and have tried to have them downsized twice now. Each time I did attempt it I was downsized in my job within weeks.
Jeez. So they are still 'hangin' around. Can't afford to do that when one loses ones job. Insurance doesn't pay for this fun stuff either. Now at my age I don't even need them smaller just up where they belong would be swell. You know, just like men's balls my breasts have fallen.

But I have bitched so much about having DD's that I thought I might try to look at the bright side. (yea, right like there is one)
So here are my 'positive' thoughts on having big boobs.

• No one makes you play golf. Thank goodness. They know you can't hold that stupid club that close to you and swing without hitting your boobs. Have you ever seen a female golfer with big ones? This is why.
• When you tell people you hate jogging they tilt their head and say, "aah" because they know why and don't make you jog.
• You can always float  - roll on your back and you have your very own bouys.
• You will never go hungry - food will fall right into your clevage. You will have treats for later. (popcorn for later honey!!)
• You never have to worry about what you say to men because unless they are gay  they aren't even listening!
• If you want someone to hear you or know something - wear it across your chest.
• You always have a place to put your cell phone, keys, or lipstick. Trust me on this. The stuff I have put in my bra or under a boob would amaze you. Who needs a purse!
• If you show cleveage you can get anything you want from a silly man.
• Everyone remembers you....and that isn't always a good thing. Unless you are committing a crime then no one will know you in a line up unless you show your boobs and that can be in your favor.
• They are power. If in a bar, you will get service at the bar quickly, get free drinks and attention. Now if you don't want this power it can suck.
• If you are hating a particular blouse or shirt eat something messy and you will have it across your breast "shelf" in a heartbeat.
• The above happens so much you are so adept at stain removal  & you could give Martha Stewart a run for her money!
• You never have to sit in those diner booths because your breasts tend to lay on the table so you always ask to sit at a table so you can control the length of the table from your boobs.
• You always look heavier than you are and boy that's fun isn't it?
• As you age they lose density and the ability to stay at attention. Their tired you know. And being sympathetic you understand. See that's nice now isn't it?
• You marry a boob man and make him very happy.

Those are just a few positives...she says with dripping sarcasm.
One of my favorite shows in the 80's was Designing Women.
There was an episode where the character Mary Jo was given money from an Uncle that died and he wanted her to do something frivilous that she always wanted to do with this money. So she went to see a plastic surgeon and he suggested she pick a size and "live" with it for awhile. She brought out the 'bigger' size and wore them out in public and found that she had the 'power'.   Here is one clip.
Enjoy the 'power'