Ugly Holiday Sweaters

'Tis the season for ugly holiday sweater parties.
Back in the early 90's I went to a few of them.
Always a lot of  "ugly" fun.
I am not a fan of sweaters with any type of pictures on them.
I think it is looks ridiculous to see grown women in Disney character sweatshirts or any form of pictures on your clothing.

My grandmother and mother on the other hand didn't agree.
So when Rick and I were invited to one of the now infamous Ugly Holiday Sweater Parties I called on my mom and grandmother who had a bevy of those ugly things.  They didn't think it was a funny party because to them these sweaters were so pretty. Oiy Vay!

Since my father has the sense to not wear such things Rick had to buy one.
We went to Walmart and found some really ugly sweaters. Seriously you don't want to spend a lot of money on something like this. It's not like it's a new sports coat for a party or a new little black dress for a party. It's a hideous sweater you will never wear again as well as the fact that you may want to possibly burn after said party.

We found one that had lights that blinked. It was a hoot. It was so awful in every way.
Big ugly trees with a ton of colors and blinking lights.
I must say it's really funny to just see a big man of 6'2" built like a lumber jack wearing one of these sweaters. As soon as he put this one on we went hysterical.  I am sure everyone at the store thought there was something wrong with us. Add to the fact that the sleeves were too short and he looked so funny we knew this was the perfect sweater for him.

Driving over to the party we prayed there would be no accident so we would not be found wearing these embarrassing Rudolph nose blinking sweaters!
If your mother thought you needed clean underwear in a car accident imagine these sweaters. We feared they would be laughing so hard that we would just be left to lie there and die .

A few years before this holiday party we had been invited to a Blair Warehouse Party.
For those of you unfamiliar with that one it's very similar to your ugly holiday sweater.
The differences are that it's not a holiday event & this store was in my hometown and I have never seen it elsewhere.  It was a polyester palooza! 
It was something that bus loads of senior citizens would go to.
Literally, they had bus trips to go to this place and there was literally NOTHING a normal person would ever want to wear. But hell you could buys a lot of clothes for only $10.00.

The invitation to a Blair Party stated that you had to buy something from there to wear to the party. Women could spend $7.00 and not a penny more. Men were to spend  only $5.00. (this was the late 90's)
Rick and I headed over to the store and boy did we have a ball at this place. 
First of all we were very young in there. 
We were the only people there with tie shoes and not velcro closures on our shoes.
Second of all it was all so ugly it was fun.
I got a whole outfit for just under $7.00. (polyester "pant suit")
Think cafeteria lady - without the chin hair.
The fabric I swear could go up in flames if I got too close to a candle.

Rick's money went much farther than mine.
He bought the funniest damn plaid pants, a really ugly shiny shirt and a very wide white belt and shoes. All for $5.00.  His pants actually flared at the bottom.  His pants were sansibelts or what ever those old man pants are called. They looked like this with no belt loops. The plaid on his pants was far more offensive. His shoes were some sort of pleather and they were beige with a buckle. HIDEOUS! Although this was something I could see my Uncle Tony wearing to this day.

When we got them home I wanted to wash them. Rick was insistent that if we did they would just fall apart. I let him convince me that we would just wear these without washing. The store clerk said these were all new clothes. I found that hard to believe since they sure looked like they were out of an ugly catalog from 1972.

Once again as we drove to the party we prayed there was no accident so we wouldn't be found in these clothes. We looked so ridiculous. We wondered which would be worse to be found in an ugly holiday sweater or these clothes?  I felt these Blair clothes were far worse.
Rick felt his blinking holiday sweater was worse.
I asked him for his thought process on that one. He stated that at least these ugly scratchy clothes were once in style. Those sweaters were always ugly.  That made me giggle but I was sticking to my answer - I would be humiliated being seen in these clothes.

As we opened the door to enter the party everyone turned to look at what crazy ass outfit is walking in the door.  Everyone was laughing. And each time the door bell would ring everyone at the party couldn't wait to turn around see what walked in.
My cousin had on this ridiculous fedora that was the most awful pee green, acommpanied by a plaid shirt and plaid pants with a belt that was so wide, white and hideously shiny.
He looked like a pimp from the 1970's Starsky and Hutch show. 
Or perhaps he was dressed by Stevie Wonder or Andrea Bocelli.

We had such a fun evening.
Everyone was saying things like, "I got this belt for only $1.50" or  "These pleather shoes were only $2.25"
It was such fun but seriously itchy.
I couldn't wait to take these clothes off at the end of the evening.
They went to the goodwill box the next day.
I actually felt guilty about bringing them to goodwill.
Those who shop goodwill deserve much better than that.

Have you gone to an ugly holiday sweater party?
Tell the truth did you own the sweater you wore or did you have to buy one?