Part II (of Living Happily Ever After)

I wrote on the envelope “too good to be true must be an ax murder”

I put a line under that comment and I planned to write my impression after speaking to him under that line so I could remember him in that pile of envelopes.

I called Rick on a Friday night. I did that on purpose. His made me nervous.
Oh not nervous and creepy like naked man or clothespin man. Nervous because I knew I liked this guy for some reason. I called on a Friday night figuring he would be out and I could leave a message on his machine. (remember it’s the 80’s no voicemail still big ole bulky machines)

I called and he answered immediately. Ah shit.
I nervously introduced myself and off we went.
We talked for hours. I remember saying I didn’t think he’d be home and he responded with- then why did you call me if you didn’t think I’d be home?
Oh shit….busted.
We laughed and he let me off the hook without answering. Whew.

After 3 hours on the phone I thought it might be a good idea to meet.
It was so easy and the time just flew by.
I said what I said to all the guys about one drink and if it isn’t working for either of us we shouldn’t feel badly to say it and we can go our separate ways.
He liked that idea and we made a date.

The day I had to meet him after work I dressed and undressed a zillion times. I had to be in professional clothes for work and would have no time to change. But I still wanted to look nice. So before I left for work my bed had a pile of clothes atop it and shoes were thrown all over my bedroom floor. Of course I thought about my clothing all damn day I drove myself nuts. Too formal for such an evening? Too professional? Girly enough? Trying too hard? Look casual enough? You know the drill girls.

I got to the Brown Derby at exactly the time I told him I would. He was already sitting at the bar when I walked in. He told me what he’d be wearing. (God it’s so easy for men isn’t it…..To know what you are wearing a week in advance?!)
Oh my I thought he was handsome. That made me nervous. I don’t know why but it did.
He had my favorite drink waiting for me. Nice touch.

We were shown a table/booth and the conversation just flowed. A few times I drifted off thinking he was so handsome he’s out of my league man. But we laughed a lot and he was funny and quick and boy I liked that. Great banter. I was having a ball but was he?

The waitress came to our table and asked if we’d like another drink.
Shit. What the hell do I do? I don’t want to say yes and have him say no. All the other times I knew and I spoke up first. This time I was now praying to everything I hold dear to please let him speak first. Oh Please.
We both hemmed and hawed and finally the waitress said, “Wow, I see this is a big decision - I’ll be right back.”


That broke the ice and we both laughed at how weird we must look to her.
Then he did it.
“I’m going out on a limb here and tell you I sure don’t want to leave just yet. I hope you feel the same.”
Acting as cool as a cucumber as I could muster I said, “I would like to stay as well”
Translation: Oh my God I want to have your babies

We closed the place. And so much for my idea of going to this place because it was a mall and I could get lost in stores and he wouldn’t see my car and yada yada yada,
All utter nonsense now as he walked me to my car.
I was hoping for swoop in and a kiss but it didn’t happen. He opened my car door and told me he would love to see me again and he hoped I would call. And off I went.


I got home in the wee hours and called my sister who was married and living in Alabama at the time. “Stephanie, I just met someone and I think I’m in trouble!”

Just under 2 weeks later I moved to Cleveland Ohio for my new job. We had only gotten to go out a couple of times with my interviewing and being out of town etc. So we decided to remain friends and only friends. I was immersed in my new life and it just felt right. I had no qualms about it and looking back that seems weird to me. But it worked.

We spoke on the phone every damn day and sometimes several times a day. We would talk about work, our lives and our dates. I would commiserate about the men etc.
If I needed a date for wedding or whatever he was my guy. If I was getting mixed signals from someone I’d call him and say what is up with this? When I went home to visit we would go have fun together. We just were friends who did all kinds of things together as friends do. Kayaking, camping, parties etc. We were truly the Harry and Sally part now. He was my best friend. I would call on a Saturday morning and ask, “are you alone? Can we talk?” (Meaning did someone spend the night ) If not he’d call me back. He did the same to me. We now find that funny.

The women in his life were all tall, blonde, dumb and gorgeous.
I called them his bimbo de jour’s. He would date such vacuous bimbos and then bitch that they were as dumb as a rock. DUH. He used to tell me he hated dumb. I would shake my head and say then why do you sleep with them? Of course, that had nothing to do with it as far as he was concerned. (just like the movie) When I was dating someone, he didn’t care for,  boy, he’d let me know. There were men in my life that he used to tell me weren’t good enough for me. I should have seen that he felt more, but I looked at him like my big brother that I never had. This went on for 3 years. I never ever thought of him as anything more than a best friend whom I could count on. Others would ask why we didn’t date, and we’d laugh, and both shake our heads, and I would say oh no, that wouldn’t work. My cousin said to me one day, "What is wrong with you 2? Date already.  I see how he looks at you, can't you see it?"  I would say, nope, he's a player and my friend only.

When an astrologer told me I would marry my best friend, I said, Melanie? Because there is no way I am marrying Rick!

As happened many times when I wasn’t dating anyone seriously, he drove to Cleveland for a weekend of fun to go to what was called The Flat,s along with me and some of my friends. We had a great weekend planned at The Flats and a day spent on an island in the middle of Lake Erie with wineries and fun activities. It was a great, fun weekend with friends and laughter.


As he had done many times before, he spent the night, this time in my bed. That changed everything. Cue that scene in When Harry Met Sally, and it was exactly like that. 

I realized that this man was more to me than just a friend, and how did I not see this before? It was as though a switch had been hit. But like in the movie, Rick wanted to run just like Billy Crystal; he couldn’t do it fast enough.

It was now awkward and uncomfortable, and like the movie, it didn’t end well. We would cross paths, but we were no longer friends. He would call my answering machine every damn day and leave me long messages. The one I remember vividly was him telling me that when he wakes up in the morning, he wants to talk to me, and at the end of his day, he wants to share it with me. And for some sick and twisted reason, I kept that message and listened to it a lot. Oh, he still called, but I would never pick up. I would listen and sometimes give my machine the finger. He kept me updated on his life, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t respond.

I told him I couldn’t be his friend anymore, that he had to leave me alone and not call me anymore. Maybe someday, but not now, and I didn’t know when or if it would ever happen. I begged him to leave me alone. But he would continue to leave me messages daily, and one day he ended it with, “Margaret, I will always be here for you if you need anything, anything at all at any time, just call me. I so miss you in my life.”

AARGH!!!!!!!!!!
I felt like he wanted it all, and that wasn’t fair. How did he not get that? He sent me cards, and I would scream at them, stomp on them, and call my girlfriend and say, “I only want a card if it is an outpouring of love and affection, not just a card. I no longer wanted to be his consolation prize. Men!

Then I was in a car accident far from home in a town called Boardman, Ohio.
He came to my rescue and got me back home to Cleveland, where he put me back together.
We have been together ever since as a couple. It was January 1990, and on that day, he finally gave me that outpouring of love and affection.

So here we are, many years later from that blind date, and happier than ever.
It’s been a crazy ride from friends to more than friends to married partners.

Now, how did you meet your significant other?