I live so close to the Washington Dulles Airport that when moving into this development they made us sign something that basically told us that we couldn't sue about the noise and airplanes overhead.
So imagine my surprise when I read that George Clooney was at the Dulles airport a couple days ago being harrassed by female fans and paparazzi. And he didn't even call me for a ride!!
He's here in my town for the inauguration, along with the other 2.5 million folks who are all swooping into town.
I saw a slew of pictures of him trying to get out of the airport.
The final picture was of him freezing in his fine cashmere coat and dandy hat while jumping into a limo while mere mortals were bugging the shit out of him while he fled to the city. Do you know how easy I could have made this for him? Hell why didn't he call for my services?
Think about it .....who the hell would ever imagine that it would be THE George Clooney getting into that middle aged woman's little blue sportscar with VA plates. I would have greeted him with a hot toddy or perhaps a nice cup of hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps, turned on the seat heaters and greeted him warmly all while doing my best to hide my sheer joy and drooling. Since I have to keep my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road he would have had a hassle free ride to his 5 star hotel downtown.
He didn't even call me for Pete's sake.
I hope Gerard Butler and Craig Ferguson know that I am available to be their "limo" upon request. My little blue T-bird convertible is like a limo in camoflauge. It's free and no papparazzi. comes with a warm beverage of choice, no hassles, and they can pick the tunes. How much better does it get for a celebrity who wants to avoid the hassles and all the peskiness of celebrityhood.
I have to cut this short. I am going to go circle the airport now for all the folks coming into town for the inaugaration.
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