Driving

Happy Canada Day to all my Canadian Readers.

Okay, that's it. Tired of summer. Let's move on now. 

Rick and I came across some older photos from 2011 when we had breakfast on the beach at Presque Isle. There was a photo of Mike and Rick at the picnic table with mimosas and the water in the background.

I sent it to Mike Sunday morning.

He wrote back, "Who are these two young men?"  

I had to laugh because that is exactly what Rick said. 

This next week is pretty darn busy. I am having lunch with a new friend from New England. I have doctor appointments with Rick and I have tests to be done. So it will be a lot of having Rick drive me. Nothing, nothing worse!! 

I'm going to try to convince him I am able and fine. It's a short distance.

Since the stroke, Rick has been an incredibly bad driver. He had to drive me to Durham for my eye "Betty" update last week because they insisted on dilating my eyes. 

On the way home, I may not see clearly but my God, I still could have done better than Rick. He takes risks. He weaves. He pulls out thinking he has enough time and yet he doesn't. Honks ensue and he says, "Sorry"  

NO, just wait we are not in that much of a hurry!

He waits to use his brakes while the entire highway is a sea of red brake lights. He slams on the brakes when we are up their ass. 

I continued to use the brake on the passenger side but it just doesn't work. 

😋

Now I'm supposed to be a good wife and not say a thing. 

No gasping, no saying anything. 

Not easy. I felt like my head may explode if we did live. 

At one point I decided to close my eyes. 

If we die, so be it, I didn't see it coming.

If in an accident, I can't be a witness who has to say to the police that it was my husband's fault.

I will save my marriage that way.

I'm struggling to drive right now but I will lie to Rick. 

It can't be worse than how he drives with perfect shoulders. 

At least I'd have an excuse. But in all honesty, I can not do worse!

In fact, I am certain of this.

There is a fine line between not making him feel bad about some of his diminished capabilities from the stroke and also wanting to live if we are in a car.

Bon Jovi came on Sirius while he was driving home.

'Living on a Prayer' 

I laughed and Rick said, "What's so funny?"

I said, "Ah, the song seems appropriate right now ' cause I am living on a prayer"

Took him a minute. He replied, "Am I scaring you again?"

Yep.

We just let that hang there. No need to elaborate.

Music

I had music blaring in the house. I was in the kitchen and Rick came in from the shop.  This sad song came on and he grabbed me and we danced in the kitchen. We do all our dancing in the kitchen. Don't you?

The words to this song kill me but oh so true.

When we saw him play this we were maybe 41.  We requested this song.

The song's words seemed so far away then. But they moved us both

Hmm...

In other news...

Rick saw the older gentleman at the gym. He spoke to him. Rick told him he was glad he was back. The man said I just had a stern reprimand. Rick found out he's 84. Then Rick said I told him that you told me just don't say what you are thinking to young people because everything offends them. He laughed and said, "My wife told me the same thing. Guess I'll only talk to men now"  Rick said, "hey that may be safer!'  He patted Rick's shoulder and went on his way.  Sad to me, just damn sad.

Oh and apparently they joined at the same time and would talk as his trainer would say something to her about  - move your wrist this way. The woman after his session said to him, "boy she's a tough bird, maybe I need the trainer." She asked him the cost etc. They had never spoken again until he told her that her hard work was paying off. So she did speak to him at another time. This wasn't just a random stranger. Okay, enough of that. 

Rick had to go to Duke Medical yesterday for his rheumatoid doctor. 

It was for gout but they also discussed his arthritis. I just tagged alone. 

For once of late, it wasn't a dr appointment for me!

The young doctor asked Rick what he did for a living before retirement. 

He said he was a bathroom refinished and prior to that many years in Human Resources. The intern came in and the doctor asked if he could have the intern go over all this with you again to learn. Rick said sure thing. 

After the intern was done the doctor asked Rick what field he was in, in HR. Rick told him aerospace. A company that put private citizens into space and they went to the Russian Space Station. 

That piqued their interest. The doctor asked if he could tell him a story about this job. Rick said, Sure, Buzz Aldrin is an asshole.

Well, that made the doctor and the resident howl with laughter.

Now as he is telling me this I am cringing. OMG you didn't say that!

He said I sure did because he was an arrogant asshole. Well I know but...

Rick explained that Buzz Aldrin was on the board at this company.

As the president told Rick the first week Buzz came into the office, be polite and then go on your way. He's an ass and arrogant, let him just be, it's what I have to do. Rick took that to heart. 

Ole Buzz would come in with a camera crew all the time. As if he was so important his every move must be documented even as he just walked around the office in his arrogant manner.  

He was dismissive and rude to all. 

Well, apparently the doctors loved this. Then Rick told them something he was never allowed to say so I am not writing it here. But a very famous musician began the program and he flunked his physical for findings on his throat. 

It was announced to the public that he had a 'minor' issue and gigs were canceled. It was so not minor!! He never did get to go up in space. Rick was bummed he didn't get to go but was thrilled he got to meet him.

It was an interesting job that is for sure. The people he met were all so interesting. 

Speaking of musicians/singers who are not healthy. I watched the Celine Dion documentary on Prime. It is gut-wrenching. The last piece when she goes into spasm is so difficult to watch. Her whole entire body is twisted and frozen as well as her eyes and face. 

The pain must be out of this world. 

I know in the past I've had issues with my muscles seizing/spasms and I feel like a statue and the pain is off the charts. Magnify that by 1000 and this is what she looked like. This disease is one in 1 million. So she is rich beyond belief but has no health. How awful. But I must admit as I watch this and her team of people around her, medical, therapist etc. It's a good thing she has money because none of us could afford this. But then again, one can't look at it like that. I'm happy she can get this care. This disease looks so damn awful. If you watch this, you've been warned.

We will be doing another Bob Ross paint workshop sooner than we thought.

She is having a new painting for July. So we decided to go. It's a beach scene.

She attached her two pictures in the email and asked if we had a preference. She said they are both easy. I laughed. 

I showed Rick and he said, "Easy huh?"

I wrote back and said we want to reserve 2 seats. I didn't care what she chose because it was not going to be easy for me with either one.

I think I will invest in 2 aprons. We got paint all over ourselves. I got dressed that morning thinking I'd wear a tee shirt I wouldn't care if I got paint on it and boy did I. I got paint on my forehead for Pete's sake. 

So I think I'll just buy some cheap aprons over at Walmart for us to use this time. 

As it is everywhere in this country it's hotter than hell. Monday was 103F. \No, not feels like, it was. Today is cooler at 97F. I went out early to water my plants. I didn't do it last night. I've been watering at night after the sun goes down. So until late October, I will be staying in the house more than normal.

We do have an outdoor misting fan and we were thinking of having some wine on the patio with the misting fan tonight since my baseball team is looking like the Bad News Bears and I can't bear to watch. I'll record and see the "highlights/lowlights". But I know I still won't be able to stay out there for a long period. 

I'm baack

Miss me? 

It's only been 2 weeks. Makes it sound like I've been gone for years. 

Ah, my health is on a rapid decline and I've been busy with tests, xrays, CT scans, hospitals, doctors, etc. I don't even share with my family all that is going on right now all at once. So I won't bore you. Eventually but not today.

Don't worry, I'm okay and doing the best I can right now.  But I think that means I am not going up north for my nephew's wedding. 

I so wanted to go. I love that kid. And add in the fact that I can see the whole dang family at one time in one spot is just damn convenient.

Maybe something good will happen between now and then. But I had to send in my RSVP so I had to put No so it got there on time.

To say I am bummed out is an enormous understatement. 

But maybe in late fall.

Or everyone will have to come see me. 

I will share with you the simplest of things happening.  I am having my first surgery on July 13th. That's just cataracts in my right eye where "Betty' lives. That's the easy one...I hope.

 

The next two are frightening but as I get closer I will share. Eventually, I'll have to share with everyone. I hate bothering people with this. Seriously who cares? And my family doesn't want to hear all this shit. I don't have that kind of family like on TV. I have one sister who all she does is whine about this or that ailment. And now no one believes her or gives her much help. I find that awful. Yes, she is a drama queen but she really does have lupus and it flairs and it's painful. But because she whines about all her shit everyone gave up listening except me. And I take abuse for that. I can't just ignore her even though I know more often than not she's a nut case. So I don't tell my family too much or they will begin to treat me like her. I don't want that. So I do this in silence. Besides, I'm gonna be fine. It's all going to be fine. Rick and I just take turns I guess. Enough of that shit! No worries, no pity - nada ya hear!?

So what have I been doing you ask besides dealing with health issues?

I got dishpan hands, that's what is new. Still no new dishwasher. 

No time of late to go out and buy. I said to Rick we use too many dishes.

He said, "Wanna use them twice?"  I didn't answer right away and he began to laugh. "You're thinking about that, aren't you?  Let's just buy some paper plates."

Boy, I hate washing dishes by hand. I mean I do pots and pans normally but everything is a royal pain. Did he really need that grater for the garlic, he couldn't use the same knife and chop it? As I think these things I begin to laugh at myself. What have I become? Spoiled 1st world problem. At least it's cool inside my house where as it's 100 + outside and let's not add in humidity because that makes you want to cry.

Rick washed the other day and I was drying.

I picked up a spoon and the handle was sticky. Then the spatula had food on the handle.  I hand them back to him to wash. He says, "You wash the handles too?"  OMG. Did he mean that? He is now laughing and takes them back. I told him that I would wash and he could dry from now on. 

He just laughs at me. He seems to do the same with a pan. Washes the inside but if something spilled over the outside he never bothers to wipe down or wash. I used to say something. Then I would do them over. 

This time I just said, I will wash, you can dry. He was fine with that. Especially since he can put things away for me on the 2nd shelf and above.

I recall when I got a new mom and my sister and I were doing the dishes, my sister gave me something back to wash better. My new mom said, "A good dryer, gets what the washer missed"  That always made me laugh and I didn't do it this time to Rick's spoon because, my God it was sticky!  

**We watched a comedian named Keith Robinson and the special is called Different Strokes. It's on Netflix.  Nothing to do with the TV show Different Strokes. Nope, it's because he had 2 strokes and they were quite different from one another.

Rick could really relate to his stroke jokes and enjoyed the hell out of him.

It was good to see Rick laugh at these jokes. 

**Rick was at the Y and he sees a lot of the same people and he does go every M, W, and Friday. That means he sees his regulars as he states it. There is a woman there that when Rick started was quite chubby. She was on a machine by Rick. An older man who is in his 70s always waves to Rick and chats a bit. He said to the young woman, boy you're doing a great job, the hard work you're putting in is showing. The cuts in your calves are lookin' good. He moved along. She got up as if she was pissed Rick told me. He wondered what was bugging her but he doesn't normally talk to her so he said nothing. Next thing he knew they came to get the man and tell him he must leave. Rick asked him why. He said because that woman was offended by my comments that her hard work was paying off.

Rick was shocked. Rick asked if he could come back. He said I don't know. They said to leave and that someone would call me. 

Rick said he looked like he was going to cry. He asked Rick, "Did you think that was over the line?"  

Rick said, "No, but you and I are of a different generation, we thought it a compliment, she thought you were a perv. Young people today get offended by everything. I'm so sorry"

That has been bothering Rick for days! He asked me how I'd feel if the man said that to me. I said, "If he wasn't behaving like a perv I'd be thrilled. I know the difference between bad behavior and a compliment for heaven's sake. Besides, if he was so much older than me as this man was to her, it wouldn't bother me. I'd say thank you and smile!! But again, I'm old I look at things differently."  

**Rick and I were working on something in the house. 

It was not going well. He was getting impatient and cranky as hell. 

I said, "Look can we just say we're both to blame here and move on?"  

Rick let out a big sigh and said, "Okay, but I'm blaming you more."  

He smirks.

Well if that didn't break the tension and make me crack up laughing! Honestly, I can't even stay pissed at the ass.

**There was an article in the business journal of the Raleigh area that read 

New Deli coming to (city) to target the influx of Yankees.

Yankees? WTF? 

So instead of everything being fried including oreos, they will have fresh deli meats and cheeses. Pastrami sandwiches, Philly cheesesteaks, warm roast beef sandwiches, Cuban sandwiches, crab cakes, lobster rolls, and fresh salads to name a few. The article states that the owner is from Boston and he saw a man with a Boston hat on and told him they'd be serving Boston-style roast beef and people get excited. And it's not so much "Yankee" food as it is Northeastern food.

I get it. I miss food not fried and something other than biscuits or greens and mac and cheese, which I have learned is the holy grail here. But the way the headline in the Business Journal was worded was a bit odd to me. But I look where I'm living now and that is the way of the land. To them, it's like we're all immigrants. My favorite line I have been asked since moving here is, "Where are your people from?"  I said to this woman, "My people?"

She said your ancestors, your parents. 

I said, "Italy. Then once landing here they went to Bronx NY and OH"  

She said and I quote, "Wow that's weird"  

Weird? What was the correct answer to that? I laughed and thankfully she went on to something else and ignored me the rest of the evening. This was at a neighborhood function. So I don't need to see her again but if I do I told Rick to ask her where her people are from so I can see the correct answer. We laugh at this.

Rick can tell her he's adopted so he doesn't know that ought to shut her up.

** We watched another thriller called Defending Jacob. OMG, was it ever a suspenseful drama. The acting was superb. The young man playing Jacob was very good. Chris Evans was the best I've ever seen him. But I still do not know if Jacob was guilty or not. Rick and I are still talking about it. Did any of you watch this? Any insights? I'd love to hear them. At this ending, we both went, WHAAAAT?  well did he? Frustrating. I am leaning on his guilt. But I wanted and needed a definitive answer, you know for the slow mentally impaired like me.

**Rick wore his Bob shirt on Monday. He went to the UPS store, the gym, and to the pharmacy. He saw a man trying to not look like he wasn't taking Rick's picture but he was. Rick asked him if he wanted to take a pic of his shirt. The man laughed and said, "Yes, sorry, may I?"  Rick turned and pulled it down so it's easier to read and he got the pic. He said, "Best tee I've seen in a long time."  Then at UPS the guy behind the counter laughed and made a guy from the back come up front to read his shirt. 

At the pharmacy, the woman said, "I don't get that shirt." Rick told her to read it again slowly. She did and said, "Oh my god Bob has no arms that's why"  Rick said she was very young, very cute and dumb. 

I had to laugh at that.

He does love his goofy shirts. I don't quite get it. But it brings him joy so it doesn't matter if I get it.

In Wegmans (fabulous grocery store) a man walked up to him and said, 
"Hey I'm sorry about your stroke but that shirt is damn funny man"

He was wearing the I'm not Drunk, shirt below.

If you didn't see Rick's Bob Shirt that all find funny but me.

Here it is. Yes, it's cute. But my goodness Rick just howls at this.

I just shake my head.

And lastly, Rick was trying to cheer me up the other day after some bad news. He reminded me of a time when these gay young men were hitting on him and talking about him. They did not know we heard them.

"Beef in a Bucket"  they kept calling him to one another. 

Too long for here but trust me it was wild. I heard it and saw it all. 

Rick was standing in a bucket at the time to plant a tree around an indoor pool area at a hotel. The boys were eating breakfast at a table where Rick was working. He heard them call him "Beef in a Bucket" and he heard me laughing from the other side of the area. It worked he cheered me up.

When these men did approach him he told them he was flattered but he played for the other team and never was a switch hitter. 

They bought him a drink for being nice about it, which we thought was very nice. But how else would you react? 

They were nice and Rick's nice so no one was offended, which was Rick's big concern. They all laughed about it. Told him it was the best rejection ever. Rick said, "Good I'll remember that in case there is a next time." Which then one says, "Oh honey there will be a next time"  

Oh, how we laughed remembering this story from our youth. 

Ah, My very own funny Beef in a Bucket.

Now I must get caught up on blog reading.

Power On Power Off

I'm going to take a bit of a break from the blog.

Not long. Just letting you know as if you'd care. 

If you have Apple TV and you like suspense dramas, Presumed Innocent is very good!  Jake Gyllenhaal is the lead. I understand that this book was adapted years ago with Harrison Ford playing the lead. I did not see that one or read the book. But boy we both really liked this show. They put 2 episodes out and then it's weekly. I hate that because I would prefer to stream. The acting is superb thus far. 

Remember how my dishwasher died and then Jean told me to turn off the power and turn it on again?  Well, that gave me 1 more wash.

It has died again and turning the power off and then on did nothing the second time or the third. I kept trying. So it looks like a new dishwasher is in my future.

Then as we got ready to watch the above movie our sound bar stopped working. WHAT? So what did we do? Google of course and listened to Jean and her tip for the dishwasher. We unplugged the power from the wall. No sound. Then we looked for the power button. Google suggested it be held down for a minute. That was the hard part. The soundbar had to be unscrewed so we could actually see the buttons on top. We held the power button down for a minute or two. Viola - It worked. The sound bar was back with a vengeance and we could watch and hear the movie. 

Everything including me is falling apart here. Honestly!

Let's start the weekend -

Step on A Crack Break Your Mothers Back

My social life seems to be doctor's appointments. 

Sounds like fun doesn't it?

I wrote on Friday that I had to go to Duke. I told you about all the nice women and nurses but I don't think I told you about my neurosurgeon who is a case study for me.

My neurosurgeon, Dr. G. is such an odd duck.

His picture would be next to the word nerd in the dictionary.

He is brilliant. He has accolades up the wahoo. 

I read up on him everywhere I could find. He is impressive.

He walked into the room said hello quietly, almost a whisper, and put out his hand.

He is what I would call mild-mannered, pasty white, and soft. 

By soft I don't mean fat or heavy at all, just soft. 

When he talks about my spine he gets excited and animated but his social skills while all polite are where he is lacking a bit. That's where I came up with nerd.

He asked me how long and how this all began with my back. He could tell I had had surgeries and he wanted to have me start at the beginning.

I did a quick version and then he went back and asked for details like, okay you fell but where?

I said on concrete steps. But where?

Oh, you want a lot of details, really? All right I can do that. Are you sure? Why does it matter?  He said, "I want a picture." Okey dokey.

I fell at the CNE exhibition stadium in the summer of 1979. (Toronto)

He asked where that was. 

(not there anymore but on the lakefront at the time where the Blue Jays played)

It had been raining but it stopped. The steps were wet. We saw people falling left and right. There were no handrails. I had to go to the bathroom before the singer came out. My girlfriend said, "Go slow"  I thought I had but my foot slipped, both legs went straight out in front of me and I bounced on my tailbone twice. Just like a cartoon. I had instant mind-blowing pain. A man sitting across from this step on the aisle was kind enough to help me get up. I had to pee and I wanted to cry. 

I waited to do both.

I got myself to the bathroom, closed the stall door, and wept. 

I was in such pain.

I pulled myself together and went back to the show. 

I was in a lot of pain all night. He asked what I did for the pain. 

I hesitated and then said -  We smoked pot and drank wine in our hotel room since I could not go out as we had planned. He asked, "Did it help?"  

Yes, it did until halfway through the night.

He asked if I lived in Toronto at the time. I told him no, Erie PA. 

He then said, may I ask who the singer was. Now I'm thinking this is strange but I went along. I told him it was Burton Cummings. I also said, "I think you are too young to know him or his former band, The Guess Who"  He laughed and said, "You're correct"  I said, "You've heard Lenny Kravitz sing American Woman?"  

He said, Sure. I said he was the original writer and singer of the song. 

(Since he's in his late 40s he probably wasn't even born until that year I fell.)

Honestly, I can't believe we're in this much depth with nothing to do with my back.

In the morning my 23-year-old self didn't know how I was going to drive back to Erie PA because my car was a standard. 

The doctor asked, "How did you?"  

(280Z, remember those?) 

My girlfriend who I was with did not know how to drive a standard. I could not extend my leg without a good deal of pain. She drove and I'd say CLUTCH, and I'd shift from the passenger seat. We practiced in the hotel parking lot until she got the hang of it. We did this all the way home to Erie. She only stalled it once when we got to Erie. 

After he heard all this he was excited. Telling me what I had done, what this fall did, and why. Oh, he was an excited little nerd now. He was cute.

He asked why I waited until 1984 to have my surgery. 

Because I was scared.

He showed me my MRI and my spine. Apparently one should have a curved spine. Mine is straight. Oh with excitement he went over everything. How this first fall caused this, as he'd point to my MRI. He was excited. He talked options other than surgery. Some I can't do due to age. NOTHING good happens after 50 I swear! He comes alive now talking about all of this.

His face changes and he is cute and animated and louder and excited almost. 

He continued his animated self with pictures and options etc.

I told him I was scared of a surgery at L1. He said they don't like to do them there if it can be prevented. So again, why would I do that? He said I want to continue to do non-surgical options for as long as we can. I said I agree!

I will have another injection on both sides of L1 next Tuesday. I think that should be it. The first two were not in the right spot. That was the ortho doctor assuming where I had surgeries before, not my spine doctor. 

This was the reason I decided I needed a spine doctor/surgeon should I need the surgery. He would know all that was done and my history etc.

After all this medical speak, he reverts back to a quiet mannered milk toast kind of man about how we were moving forward.

It is so damn interesting to me, actually fascinating. 

He couldn't be nicer and I know he is smart. 

But I just find him so damn interesting that he is so nerdy and quiet until you talk about spines. He was like 2 different people. His excitement  when talking about my back is a good thing for a spine doctor I suppose.

Maybe I find him to be a fascinating character/case study, because I am not the smartest tool in the box, or because I am an extrovert, or both. 

I don't know but I just find him to be a helluva interesting person.

Bob Ross Adventure

Saturday was our class with the Bob Ross certified instructor.

We had a ball. There were only 8 of us in the class, which was perfect.

It was so much better than either of us thought it could be.

We sucked but we knew that going in.

It was an hour and 5 minutes away. We were so not feeling it in the morning. We have gotten spoiled in retirement and not moving early in the morning anymore is our new M.O. But we hustled our way out of here and got there with 12 minutes to spare.

The instructor was so patient and kind. Her name was Kim. 

Kim had a good sense of humor and thank God!

She was taught by Bob Ross himself.

All the other 'classmates' were fun and helpful as well.

We were the only 2 who had never been to a class before and boy it showed.

The couple across the aisle from us had done a class once and they were pretty good.

The man in front of me was so good it was intimidating.  

We got there and the tables were set up for 2 per table.

There were names on the table so Rick and I knew where to sit.

We each got an easel for our canvas. We had small canvases of 12 x 16.

But it felt huge when you had to put paint on it and make it look like something.

By each easel were our tools. In the middle was a bucket with paint thinner in it and a lid. She told us we'd learn when to use it. We took her word for it.

We were told to bring a roll of paper towels and we saw very quickly why that was needed.

If I didn't understand how the hell that cloud or fence should appear I'd just ask and she'd come by and show me why I wasn't getting the result. Maybe I was holding the knife incorrectly or using the flat end of the brush, not the tip.  Aah!

She told us where to begin and the colors to use. We had a palette in front of each station so we did not have to find the colors. She would say we are going to use this brush and why, then show us. Then we did it.

We all did as told, except Rick. Oh my Ricky went rogue as always.

Rick's painting was more free form shall we say, because he couldn't take directions. (what's new) I looked over at him at one point and said, "Where are your clouds she just asked us to make?"

"Oh, it's a cloudy day"

Hey Rick, why is your roof a different color than what she told us to do? 

"Because it's more weathered."

At one point he removed his lower roof and who the hell knows how he did that.

It was a big oops.

Kim, the ever-patient instructor, walked by and asked Rick what happened to his lower roof. All the while laughing of course.

Rick told her his barn caught fire.  

That made the class laugh. Oh, he kept them in stitches.

Kim fixed it as best she could and rebuilt his lower roof for him.

I said, "Ooh look at you, teacher's pet"  

She wasn't helping me but for some reason, she was all over Rick. 

She was always by him. I told him it was because he was so awful and he said like a 9 yr old, "No it wasn't" and I'd just shake my head at the fool and laugh.

Kim was very southern and at times I just found it difficult to understand her. 

I leaned over to Rick and asked what she said and his reply was, "The hell if I know"

So I asked her to repeat what she just said and she said, "Oh it's my accent isn't it?" I said I was sorry but it was the accent.  Then another chimed in that he too didn't get that sentence. She laughed and said okay let me try that again. We got it. 

I was thrilled that it didn't offend her and I was also glad it wasn't just me. 

I mean there were easy differences like yella instead of yellow. But there were times when she could have been speaking French. I'm glad she had a good attitude about it. She told us we'd all get the accent after living here for a while. She's probably right. 

I am a type A and I follow instructions. If I'm told to use white, well damn it, I use white. Rick is just the opposite. Being a type A it makes my head explode when he goes rogue. He knows that too and just finds me funny.  He is someone who only does what he's told to a certain degree and then he's in his own world. I have always called it Ricky's world. To those reading this who know him you know this to be true.

He was like this before the stroke just so you know.

At one point I leaned over and said something to him about doing the opposite of what was told. (to use a knife and he used a brush) 

He said, "Kim my tablemate is a pain in the ass can you move her please?"  

Well, that got them going. Honestly this man. 

I did laugh when the man in front of me whipped his head around to look at me as if he was worried I was upset that Rick spoke of me like that. Nope, this is our way. I find him funny, thank God. I know he isn't saying it to be hurtful or mean. Besides, he's laughing while he says it. Big difference.

The class was long. 10:30a - 3:30 with a 30-minute lunch break.

My ADD partner got antsy at the 2p mark. I felt it flew by until around 2p. I could have been done by 2p but our painting wouldn't have been complete. I'm not sure ours are even complete now. I see all my errors. But I remember all the laughs and fun. Such nice people.A contractor and his wife, a professor, a clergy, a stay-at-home mom, and a female farmer. An eclectic bunch who were all willing to help one another. All shared stories and laughter. Couldn't ask for a better day and one of our best in a very long time.

We had a ball. I found it relaxing and didn't even care that I sucked. 

We will be doing this again in the fall.

All her classes from now through August are of the same landscape. 

So come fall we will have another we will go back. It was worth the money.

We'd pay far more for just a dinner out. ($40 pp + $20 for easel and paints unless you wish to bring your own)

I believe this was good occupational therapy for Rick (it was suggested in rehab he does such things) For me it just solidified that I have no talent but I did enjoy myself and that was all I needed.  I didn't go into this thinking it would look like her painting in front of us. I was thrilled I got clouds for heaven's sake.

Now don't judge. You may giggle.

Fri-Yeah!

It is Friday afternoon as I type this.

What a morning I had.

I had to go to the Duke Spine Center to see my doc.

The last time I saw him was at a satellite office of Duke in Raleigh.

They could not get me in there so off to Durham I went.

Because I had never been to this particular part of Duke I left a bit early to give myself some time. Good thing I did.

I swear Duke is a city within itself. It is enormous. I thought that of John Hopkins when I went there and that would fit into Duke I swear. Who knew?

So I find the street but what building? I stop and ask a man who is giving out things to hand you to put on your rearview mirror. 

I wondered what that was about.

I rolled down my window and said I need to be at bldg 30 1B/C can you help me?

He asked, "Do you want valet or to park yourself." I told him I could park myself. He said then you park here as he pointed to a bldg behind me or valet at your building which is up there. He is now pointing 2 blocks away. I can't walk 2 blocks, hence why I'm at the spine center.

So I say, "Valet will be fine"

He shows me how to get to that bldg and off I go. I have to say getting there wasn't as easy as it sounded either. Crazy place. But lots of folks outside to assist. They know it's needed.

I got inside Duke and I had to go through a metal detector and I went off.

Hmm...I had to go to a table as they searched my purse and used a wand.

Then I had to go back through the metal detector without my purse.

Whew. Apparently, before I lived here someone entered Duke with a gun and shot someone. Now they take no chances. 

I get past all that and I'm in this large vestibule. 

I was looking up and feeling quite stupid. 

A man comes over to me and says, "Lost little lady?"

I told him I sure was and he directed me to where I had to go. 

He was so nice and told me to have a blessed day. While that shit makes me cringe at times, I took it how he meant it, to be kind. 

I get checked in and all the ladies checking you in are laughing and all smiles. I asked if they were so happy because it was Friday or was it the drugs?   OMG, they went nuts laughing. One said,"If you have some drugs please share."  

When I checked out they asked what I was planning to do on this beautiful Friday afternoon. I told them I'm retired and I'm going home for a gin and tonic for lunch. (it was 12:03p)

 

This lady was so funny, she said, "I love gin and tonic, ooh I'm going to get some on my way home for the baseball game tonight"

I asked her if she was watching the Dodgers and...

Before I could say Yankees, she said, The Yankees girl! Go Yankees.

I said, "You aren't a Braves fan?"  

Oh hell no she explained, I'm a Jersey/NY girl but my damn husband brought me here. I said, "Oh I understand that all too well"

She said, "The shit we do for love right honey?"

My God these women were so damn nice and cordial. I love leaving my immediate area. It just reminds me of home. (NoVa)

2 of the 3 women who check you in and out appear to be retirement age. Honestly, if I lived close to Duke I'd apply. But it's an hour away with no traffic so there is that issue. I bet my medical would be cheaper. :-)

In other news...

UNG (ugly naked guy) was back from the shore with a new camper/trailer thingy.  He was out last night with his no shirt and his ole belly hiding his shorts. God, I hope he was wearing shorts. Has the man no mirrors? Then on the other hand I think, gee what confidence that he just doesn't give a shit what others think. But then I revert back to, hey buddy have some pride and put on some damn clothes. He waved to us and we waved and Rick said, "Quick, quick turn around or he'll come over" So we went inside.

We're bad people sometimes. But he is so icky and redneck and a stereotype of something you'd see on cops. 

Rick saw this shirt and sent it to me via text.

He laughs so hard at this. He says isn't this funny?  Yes, it's cute but the way he laughs at it makes me laugh. I'm not laughing at the Dad joke, I'm laughing at my husband getting such a kick out of it. So I went online and found it and got it for him.

Here is a photo of his silly shirt. He will wear this to the gym proudly.

And Lastly, Jean over at Misadventures of Widowhood, told me to unplug our dishwasher. So we turned the power off and then back on a few minutes later. We think it's working. We ran a short cycle with no dishes and it opened the soap dispenser and the heat came on. We had no damn dirty dishes because we wash them all immediately after eating so we are loading that ole gal up now and see if it works. I want a new one but I just can't right now so hopefully it worked. And to think, these repairmen were going to charge me serious bucks.  Are there honest service people anymore?

Bodkin

Once again we were sucked into a streaming show that everyone raved about. This show was getting all this buzz. I saw it everywhere. People were saying it was one of the most entertaining comedies etc.

So we checked it out. 

This was not a comedy to us at all. Sure there were a couple of funny moments. It was not awful but not great either. It was called Bodkin.  

It was listed as a true story. After watching it we kept saying, How friggin' bizarre that this is true. But then it's so unbelievable that he almost had to be true.

We watched all 7 episodes over two nights. 

It was about podcasters from America who set out to investigate the mysterious disappearance of three strangers in a supposedly idyllic Irish town. Rick called it a car wreck, he couldn't look away. I understood Rick's review well.

I felt at times it was a bit convoluted. Then you add that I needed closed captions to understand some of the language. But that's just me. Most of you I'm sure can understand the accent. To me, they talked too fast to pick up on some things. Oh, I understood the swear words thanks to my boss Bruce, but I still needed the CC to assist.  

Some of the things with the nuns made me laugh. In fact, everything in the show about nuns rang true to me so I found that funny. Rick not being raised Catholic asked me a lot of questions about that. 

Speaking of Ireland my former boss reached out to me. He wrote me the other day asking how Rick was doing and how we were liking it here. He suggested we visit him in Ireland. I would so love to do that. But I no longer fly for free so it's not something we can do. Maybe after paying for all the damn stroke bills we can. We'd love nothing more. He would make for the best of a tour guide for us. I know we'd end up in a great many pubs but we'd be with him and his lovely wife and we'd be laughing.

When I was working in the corporate world my boss had just got to America via Hong Kong via London via Ireland. (my company was global)

This Irish lad was the best damn boss I ever had in my entire working career. He became a friend.

He told me after living in the States for a while that he didn't understand why it was called the United States when we weren't united at all. 

(this was the year 2000)

I said, "Yep the jokes on you huh?"  

We laughed a lot about his view of America. But none of it was wrong sadly. It was so interesting to hear things from his perspective. 

He lived in Manhattan which he loved as did I love working there. 

But he moved just over the river to New Jersey when they wanted a bigger home. 

One week he told me his mom was coming from Ireland and all she wanted to see was a Walmart because in Ireland that is all she ever heard about in America. Walmart and Crime. Now that is a sad combo don't you think?

She didn't wish to see the sights of NYC or take a train to DC on her first visit to America. Oh, how he tried. 

She spent most of her time at a Walmart in Jersey. How funny is that? 

It drove him crazy. He would say to me, "A fuckin' Walmart Peggy, not even a Target!" 

One time while out for the evening Rick asked Bruce if he minded everyone imitating his accent. He laughed and said no. He added that most often everyone was spot on and it made him laugh. He knew it was all done with love.

His English was difficult at times to understand and I would tell him I needed CC under his chin. I knew it was English but his brogue was tough to get some days. Then he would break out into what he called his American Accent. He would say, "How you doin'" like Joey on Friends. 

We would all laugh and say, "That is not an American accent you goofball"  But he got a royal kick out of that. 

One of the truly nicest men I ever met. Top Ten. 

His Ireland stories came back to me while watching this show. 

He was not Catholic and I heard of the stories of his growing up with the Catholics and Protestants fighting. Honestly, religion to me is the cause of all wars and it's so stupid. But I digress.

We had a group meeting in DC. Our group meetings were different every time but always on the East Coast. 

This time the East Coast team met in DC and had our meetings during the day and we went out to dinner at night. 

It was arranged for us to go to a family-style Italian restaurant that I can not remember the name of. 

He and I got to the table first and there was a Pope's head under glass in the middle of this big round table.  It was large too.

Bruce looked at me and said, "Oh dear, Peggy is this going to offend the Catholics in the group?" He seriously was in a panic. 

I told him they would be fine and they may find it funny as did I.

He said, "But you've said you are no longer Catholic."  

I told him this was not Ireland and we'd be fine. When everyone arrived they laughed at the Pope under glass. Jokes were made and Bruce, sitting next to me, tapped my leg and whispered, "Thank God"

He was given baseball tickets from the company all the time being in Manhattan and he'd give them to me or clients because he knew of my love of the Yankees. 

I'd say, "Well I'd have to overnight, are you going to approve another night in NY on my expense report?"  He'd laugh and wink. Which I took to mean, yes, and he did indeed. 

I asked him and his wife to come to a game with me but his wife was not having it. She laughed and told me to bring him home sober. I laughed and said, "Have you met him?"  Oh, he was Irish in that way.

He loved the whole experience. I made him get a jersey, and we got peanuts, hot dogs, and beers. We had fabulous seats down in front thanks to our company. He asked a lot of questions but I didn't mind at all, it was fun. He asked if there were cheerleaders and I about died laughing. 

He said they don't have those in Europe you know. I said, there are none in baseball either. He was a bit disappointed in that. 

Back to the show set in Ireland, did any of you catch this show on Netflix? 

If so, what were your thoughts? Could you understand all the Irishmen?

Retirement

Okay since retiring our lives have been shit. We did not get to appreciate the long hard years of work and to relax  At least not yet. 

It all began immediately after the move in 2021.

Our child, err dog, died and it about killed us. 

Then the worst of the worst, a horrific stroke for Rick. A big ole mass on my retina, chemo to follow with high doses of steroids, removal of the sigmoid colon, and stenosis of the spine. Gee, we're having fun now, aren't we? Then the fun we had with a contractor who ripped us off, lawyers, state inspectors, county inspectors, and new plumbers to pay to repair said contractor's work and five figures of money to try to get back. (thankfully we did) Contractors who don't ever show up or communicate.

It hasn't been an easy transition. The house is far smaller and trying to figure it all out is still going on. We have come to enjoy the one floor but the size is still too small for us we feel. Oh well, it is what it is. We are thankful for a roof over our heads.

We are now coming up to the 2.5-year mark. We hope all the horrific things are now over and we can settle into a routine of sorts. I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel but not quite bright enough you know what I mean? I know be patient. But that is not my M.O. Rick tells me to be careful what I wish for, that bright light in the tunnel could be a train. 

Add in the fact that Rick and I are both northerners who are living in the south and well, we are fish out of water. And the locals don't mind telling you that at every opportunity. When we leave our neck of the woods and head into Raleigh a full 10 minutes away it's a new world. People who have read a book since school, people who are more open-minded, warm people who are hospitable. 

Should we ever get a windfall we are moving to north Raleigh. If it weren't for Rick's health we'd go back to the area we lived before here. Windfall or not, we are here and are doing our damnest to get by.

Because we were ghosted by our lawn service I asked those on the NextDoor app for any recommendations. I got a few. One messaged me and said since she's moved here she finds this to be typical and people are so unkind. I wrote to her and said I understood this all too well. I found out she is from another southern state and said she has never met such rude people or less hospitality and it saddens her. She actually said, "Where is the southern hospitality?"  Oh, I have said that many times I thought it was a myth. She said it's the trumpsters. I just laughed. I did not wish to get into that topic since I didn't know her well!

So here she is a southerner who feels the same. I thought it was just me because I was what they like to refer to as a Yankee. I now wear that name with pride, not the insult they mean it to be. Before moving here it meant nothing to me, it was just a word or my favorite baseball team.

It's all going to get better now. 

I am willing it. I am envisioning it. We will have golden years damn it.

This is our last chapter and damn it, we are still going to laugh, dance in the kitchen and enjoy the life we have. We laughed like crazy the other night remembering a story that my cousin reminded us of when he called. 

I am lucky in so many ways. I must remember that.

I can't use this video to put up here.No embedding allowed I guess.

But I sent it to Rick and he sent it to me  - unbeknownst to either of us.

When we got back inside and looked at our phones we laughed.

So if you have Instagram you can view this link. 

If not I'm sorry.

See, I am lucky.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5yo_X3r3Rx/?igsh=dmI2bnNpcXFjODh1

Housewares and Other Random Items

I have complained to y'all a great deal about our horrible appliances we got when we moved in here. They are all new, but they bought the cheapest ones on the GE market so it looked good to sell. I get that. 

However, we have nothing but issues with them.

The dishwasher is as equally bad as the fridge to us. 

Friday Rick told me he ran the dishwasher. Saturday morning when I went to take all the clean dishes out I saw that the soap holder was still closed, which means it didn't run. I, of course, being an ever-mean wife, tell Rick you told me you ran this last night, but it never ran. 

He responds with, "Hey I thought I did, but then ya gotta remember I'm Stroke Boy" 

Needless to say, I chalked it up to him being Stroke Boy and reran it.

It came on, the light said so, and the horrific noise said so.

Later that day I opened it to empty and it wasn't hot to touch like it would be if drying. oh oh. Then I saw all the dishes were dirty.

Damn it. A completely FULL dishwasher I would have to wash. 

So this was not Stroke Boy but a broken dishwasher.

I apologized to Ricky and he said, "That's okay I thought it was me too."

I pulled out the warranty and receipt the previous owners left us. 

We called about repairs. We got a range not knowing what it was but one guy said, "For that model, I'd go new"  That was Rick's thought too.

We reviewed all the price ranges to repair and looked at the receipt; it was almost the whole cost of this cheap GE dishwasher. So do we get someone to come out? Rick thought it wasn't worth their time. I was on the fence.

Yes, I can finally get a good dishwasher but this financially is so not the time. We know what we want. We had one. Bosch. Not cheap either. But look where cheap got us. 2.5 years and it dies. 

I removed all items from the dishwasher and spent a good amount of time doing dishes and then drying dishes. Rick put them all away, asking, where does this go? That got the laughter going and we made it the most fun one can have washing dishes. (also while drinking gin and lemonade)

He then proclaimed we needed disposable dishes and silverware. HA.

Last night I asked if we could eat something with very few dishes? 

We grilled everything and had two plates. So not a lot of cooking going on. But we have to suck it up and go find a good buy on a Bosch. Silent, with shelves that move up and down and shelves that hold stemware like wine glasses and a 3rd rack for silverware, not clumsy silverware holder on the bottom taking up space. Does anyone have an extra thousand+ they want to get rid of?

In the meantime, no one responded to our calls inquiring about their lawn services. I thought perhaps on Sunday we'd get a call since they are busy during the week. But no calls or emails from those I asked in their online forms. Honest to God why did we sell that damn big lawn mower. Oh yeah, my back and Rick's stroke. 

We got a new floor a while back. It is light as you can see here. 

Due to not having many windows and light coming into this house, we felt a lighter floor would be better than the dark one. 

And it is better for those reasons. 

But let me tell you, you see EVERYTHING. Because vacuuming hurts me terribly I went around with my small handheld dyson and did corners and the like. Rick did the complete floor. He asked if I wanted to go first. 

Being ever so sneaky I said, "No you can babe." I knew he'd miss things because Rick can't see but what he wants to see. I knew that trick would work without having to say, you do a lousy job.  😋

As I have said before, never knew that many crumbs were on the floor when I had a dog. She was my little 'hoover'

The man can clean a bathroom like nobody's business. But that is it. 

His cleaning skills stop at the bathroom door. I take what I can get!

He washes dishes like a child. He made this crock pot of garlic butter chicken wings. (yuk!) Then he grilled them. 

He said he'd wash the crock pot. 

I picked it up to put away and the whole top edge was sticky as well as the outside where some may have dripped. 

He cleaned the inside bottom all right, but he does this with pans as well. 

I prefer he not wash. He came into the kitchen and saw me washing it. Dang it, I was hoping he'd have stayed outside until I was done. 

He asked, "Are you redoing my work missy?"  

I said, "Sorry but the top edge was sticky, come feel"  

He felt it and laughed and said, "Well I was saving that flavor for the next thing made in there it was so good"  

"You think you're funny don't you?"  

"Well you're laughing" and with his shit-eatin' grin he left the kitchen.

My Week

Until he is locked up I am not completely happy.

Not probation. It can be a 2-4 yr jail sentence for a normal person like you and me. I'd be happy with 2 years. A nice orange suit to match his face.

4 would make me ecstatic. But that ass will probably get probation.

Can you imagine if a black person had 34 felonies?  

He/She would not see the light of day for a very long time.

Friday was the most perfect weather. 

If only we could have this until October.

Ah, a girl can dream.

Dinner on the patio and drinks under the gazebo and chillin'

It was only 77 degrees with low humidity.

It is not going to last long 90s are early next week and the humidity will be tropical again. 
To (sort of) Quote Karen Carpenter, 'It's Only Just Began.'

Rick went to bed early Thursday night. I had a ballgame to watch. 

I hate it when they are on the West Coast. Starting at 10:30p is difficult but I was awake and Rick went to bed. Then I began to do some dusting in the living room while watching the game, and then I got my step stool to fix the draperies and dust the high shelves on the bookcase.

At the commercial, I went into the office to grab something for the living room and a shelf fell. The shelf was not attached to anything I had taken it off the bookcase. It was now leaning against my desk.

It landed with a very loud thud. Yikes.

It's just past midnight and I freaked because I knew that would wake him. But nothing.

I got back to the living room and he came out to ask if I was okay.

I knew it. I apologized and told him what it was. He thought I had fallen.

Then he saw the step stool in the living room and asked, "What in the hell are you doing at this hour? And are we winning?"

"You'd be surprised by all the things I do when you go to bed. And yes."

He just shook his head and got his bare ass back into bed. 

Oh, retirement is funny.

I had a doctor's appointment on Friday. The one on the street where Rick had his stroke. I took a back way to avoid that nasty street. I got yelled at for my weight gain.(14lbs) Then I told her I had been on prednisone. Oh, she said and backed off. I'm working on it...again.  She never gives Rick shit, only me. 

Our 2nd lawn guy blew us off/ghosted us. Honestly, the service around these parts is dreadful at best. The company, A Tailored Lawn, is supposed to come every 2 weeks to mow and edge. He came on May 15th. No one came on this past Wednesday and we assumed due to Memorial Day they would be a day late. Nope. They didn't show up on Friday either. I called. No response. So I asked those on NextDoor if they had suggestions. 

Two people asked if it was A Tailored Lawn. So apparently it wasn't personal he does it to many.  I got a list of 12 people to call. In the meantime, my lawn is out of hand due to all the rain we've had. 

Look what I went through for our bathroom shower? 

2 contractors, lawyers, county and state inspectors, plumbers to fix the damage, etc. $$$$$

I hate to say it is something endemic to this region but everyone I talk to from here says this is normal. We NEVER had this up north. And we flipped homes and never once had contractors ghost us, not show up without texting or calling us. I am getting so frustrated.

The medical here is stellar!! All else is eh.

Rick reminded me of the week we were in Montego Bay Jamaica.

We watched these 2 men take a week to paint 2 doors.

We would laugh and laugh at how chill they were. We said at that rate they may take a year to do the complete property.

Well later after dinner we walked out to the pier and sat on the swing where they were painting the doors. 

We saw a big fat stogey-sized joint they left behind on the arm of the swing.

We laughed and said, "Ok, no wonder it was taking them so long!"

When in Rome...