A Star is Born

Well, I got Rick to a movie theatre for the first time in something like 4-5 yrs.
Thankfully there were no mentions of ducking, finding your exit and how to save your life as they did 4-5 yrs ago on our last visit to a movie theatre. That all spooked him to his core. So it helped to keep him in his seat.

We received a $50 gift card from his daughter at Christmas 2017.
It was to an Alamo Drafthouse theatre. Where you have these big comfy seats and it is stadium seating with tables and you eat and enjoy your movie.
The food was eh, but the movie was good. We made this dinner and a movie but we should have just eaten before we left and just settled on popcorn.

It was sold out and as you go to the counter to get your tickets you can pick your seat. I had not encountered that before since I have not been to a theatre in many years. There were 4 seats left. All in the front row.
Rick and I like the 3rd row but it was the first row or no movie.
(Or a later movie which means my senior hubby would be asleep for the 10p show.)
So we decided to do the front row. The seat reclined and that helped.

We got the senior rate which still cracks us up. It's a senior discount of $10 if you are 60. The rest would be for booze and food.  I admit it made me chuckle when Rick said we were seniors and did they need our ID? She looked at us both and chuckled and said, "nope" The fact that he thinks this 18-year-old doesn't see anyone over 45 as a senior is what makes me laugh. Besides we are 60.  I know, I know he thinks he looks better than he does but it never ceases to make me laugh. He can be so delusional that man.

We got into our big fat seats. 1 1/2 of me could fit in this seat. 
It was wonderful.
That made it feel like I wasn't on top of the people next to me. 
Because in most chairs/places I can't reach the floor the seat was big enough for me to sit crosslegged, Indian style. It was great. 

The previews were all the other A Star is Born movies. 30's 50's and 70's.
I have only seen the one with Judy Garland and James Mason from the 50's  (HORRIBLE)
Then, of course, I saw the one in 1976 with Kristofferson and Streisand.
I was all of 20 years old when I saw this and thought Kristofferson was so hot. How funny to me now because I don't see him that way. Seeing these previews I think it shows it's age. It was very dated looking and sounding. And to think how I loved that movie and bought the soundtrack.  An LP no less. 

Then this movie began. There were some things I did not like.
It could have been because we were so damn close. But there were scenes where everything was spinning and I am not certain what the effect was supposed to be except I had to close my eyes. It wasn't when he was drunk or doing the drugs it was at odd times. There were other things as well but I don't want to spoil things for those who wish to see it.

Bradley Cooper and Stefani Germanotta were as good as the reviews have said. Especially Stephani.  I have to say she looks better to me as herself with her real hair color and minimal makeup compared to Lady Gaga. I love her eyes which I have never noticed where that color or that shape with all the black liner.

Rick said as much when we were driving home. He felt she was so pretty as herself and he felt it was a shame that she felt she had to hide behind Gaga. 
I responded that maybe she just likes herself with platinum hair and cat eyeliner. It doesn't mean she isn't comfortable. Just like I prefer my hair brown with some white around my face and not completely white. 
Then he pointed out to me that that is what he means. Why aren't I comfortable just being white since I am. Oh, that smarty pants. I just hate when he does that to me. Okay okay, you win this one mister. 

Her singing is so damn good. Her acting was very good. 
I can't fathom anyone saying anything negative about that voice!
While I knew the story and the ending it still was a pretty good movie.
I was entertained and I very much liked the music. 
Academy award worthy movie? I don't think so.
But Stefani may have a chance. I was really surprised at her depth in the movie.

Have you seen it? Did you like it or hate it?

Blonde Moments or Senility?

I think my blonde moments are now falling under senility.

I told Rick what was going on and he laughed a bit too hard.
Then I said, Please don't commit me to a facility just yet, I'm not ready.
His loving response you ask? 
Okay, I'll wait until next week then.
(along with a big burst of laughter from the @#$!*#)

I ran downstairs while the phones were quiet.
I let Izzy out the back door and I put a coffee pod in my Keurig and turned it on.
I went to the bathroom while it made coffee.
I leave the bathroom, let Izzy the pain back in, and walk to my coffee maker. 
I can hear that it has finished, but my mug isn't there.  HUH?

I turn and see my mug on the island - empty.
I opened the lid to the coffee maker and the pod was hot. So I know it made coffee. But where is it? 

The coffee went into the reservoir that is at the bottom where you rest your mug while the coffee pours into your cup. You know what normal people do. Put a cup there THEN make coffee.
You can see the reservoir here -

Now my coffee is all in the reservoir.  That God it didn't go all over the cabinets and floor.  I pick it up gently because it is to the top with steaming hot coffee and pour it into a bowl. Whew, none on me or the floor. There are holes in the top and this was quite the balancing act. 

Then I put the reservoir back and placed my mug on top of it and made another cup of coffee.  WITH THE MUG IN PLACE.
What the hell is wrong with me? 
Then it was back to the office with fresh coffee.

Then hours later I ran downstairs because Rick left his paperwork on the kitchen island. I needed the checks to do mobile deposits and I felt a check was missing. I did not see it go through our credit card dashboard so I wanted to call him to ask where the check was. 

Rick is now at the pond with Izzy. 
So while wearing my office headset, I used my cell phone to call Rick.
I went into contacts and just tapped his name. 
But then the office phone rang so I hung up my cell and answered the phone with my headset. No one was there. Damn it. 

I called Rick back and it does it again. But this time I don't hang up my cell hoping Rick will stay on the line if he hears me talking to a customer for a minute. But when I answered the office phone no one was there but I could hear myself saying Hello.  

For the love of God, I was dialing Rick's office number instead of his cell. 
So basically I was calling myself. 

Pray, I am just overworked and senility has not set in. 
I am not ready for that just yet. 

T-Shirt

I bought my sister a T-shirt.
While that in and of itself is not eventful, getting it shipped sure was.
And it was all my fault.

I saw this shirt on facebook and laughed. 
Then my sister posted it and tagged me. 
She said, Boy do I need this shirt to go with my F-off socks.
Quite the ensemble I thought.
I laughed and then decided to ship it to her.

That is where all the fun began.
A nice little surprise for my wonderful little sister turned into a 2month debacle.

You see the street name at my lake home was Deerfield Drive.
My parents street name is Greenfield Drive.
My sister is living with my parents right now as she is going through a divorce, you know like we all have had to at one point or another. 
It is one of those short times that seems like an eternity.

I paid for this T-shirt and off it was to go.
I get an email from the company telling me this can't be delivered.
The address is undeliverable.  I write back to them stating that is the address. They ask me to fill a form out again.
I do and they say they will reship it for me.

I ask if there is a customer service number to make this go faster.
Nope.  I have to wait until they read my email and they will respond. 
They promise me it will never take longer than a week to read my email.
Hmm, that promise is supposed to make me feel better? A week?

So I wait. I get another tracking number and it shows it will be delivered on a certain day and I let my sister know she is going to get something in the mail - look for it. I have ruined the surprise but I wanted her to be aware so I knew she got it.

She asks if it is a new man? 
I say it is indeed and you spoiled the surprise.
She said, "Hope you put holes in the box so he will be alive when he gets here"
Ooops. Oh geez, she wants everything, a man and a breathing one. Spoiled brat!

So she doesn't get this on the date they tell me via tracking so I write to them again.
They tell me they will look into this for me. Weeks go by and I get an email saying it is undeliverable. I can't fathom why that is.
So they send me another email with the address I gave them and they ask me if this is correct. I say yes.

Then for some reason, I begin to doubt myself so I write to my sister and ask for mom and dads address. OH NO. I gave them Deerfield Drive NOT Greenfield Drive. No wonder.

So now after cussing out this company, I realize this is all my fault. 
I felt like a real dumb shit now for sure.  I have to apologize. 
I never yelled at the company directly or cussed at them directly, but as I was typing my nice emails I was saying horrible things out loud to my computer and in my head and to Rick. 

I wrote them a sincere apology for all the issues I've caused them. I also volunteered to pay for all the extra shipping, which they refused. 
I give them the right address and finally, in October my sister got her damn T-shirt.

I have damaged my sister. 
She is the youngest and nicest of us all.
I became misanthropic and would bitch about hating people. 
She would always laugh at me. Now she is the same. 
I brought her to the dark side. There may be a special place in hell for me doing this to such a beautiful sweet person.

Here is her shirt. I am a bad influence on her, aren't I?

Sleeping at my Desk today.

It's a quiet morning here in the office today.
I am dragging though.

Remind me again how much I normally love my dog? Because in the wee hours of this morning I wasn't feeling all that fondly about her.

I stayed up way past my bedtime for a woman who gets up at 5am.
I was watching the MLB Wild Card game. Great game!
I crawled into bed at 1am. But I couldn't sleep because Rick was snoring. 
He is having his seasonal allergies right now. Boy, he sure suffers in fall and then so do I.

I grabbed my pillow and went back downstairs. Izzy was in her bed downstairs and lifted her head to look at me and then was back out like a light.
I laid on the sofa and was wide awake. I turned on the TV even though I knew that wouldn't help me sleep. I watched some nonsense until I was drowsy.

Then around 2ish I was feeling like I could sleep so I turned off the television.  Next thing I know I am being nudged by a dogs nose.
She has to go out.
WHAT? It's 3AM. We take her out at 10p before we go to bed every night. That keeps her until 5am. So what the hell was this? She is doing the pee-pee dance so I know it's real damn it.

I got up and put on some clothes and took her out. She had the longest pee in history. Then she walked home and right up to our door. (I don't have her on a leash at that hour she never goes away from us) She crawled back into her bed and I collapsed on the sofa. Then in one hour, she did this again. I told her to go lie down. She did for a few minutes and then she nudged me again. Okay, she has to go for real. I was still wearing my clothes.
Off to the front door we go. We walk to the corner and across the street. 
She has another long pee like she didn't just go 1 hr ago.
I'm thinking, does my dog have a bladder infection. Ah, let's just go home I will think about that in the morning.  Oh, wait it is morning, Aaah.

We get back in the house and she crawls in her bed. I fell fast asleep.
Then it was 5:15 and now the real going out must commence.
For the love God I can't do this today. Still wearing my clothes and looking a hot mess I take her for another walk for her to do her morning constitution.
Come back and fed her at 6am. Rick came downstairs at 6:15 and the day starts.
It's going to be a Loooooong Day for me.

That is what I get for staying up and watching the game. But my God it was a good game. Now if we can get past Boston and Houston, which I am doubtful, I would be a happy camper. At least Boston!

We have this new kid on my team named Luke Voit. God how I love this kid. He has this energy about him that is infectious. He also has a great bat. Man, he makes an amazing hit at just the right time all the time. I hope the kid has found his home on my team because he is a great addition.

Here's to me being upright until 5pm today.
It's not going to be easy.

Sports Injury

Actual conersation that occured on Tuesday morning between Rick and myself.

Why are you limping Rick?

My foot is killing me, in my arch.

Well that's new,  how the hell did you do that?

Sports injury I guess.

But, you don't play sports.

I know, now tell my body.

Documentary and Books.

Over the weekend I watched a documentary and finished a book.
Both left me a bit sad. I can't shake the book.

I read a biography by Sally Field.
Oh my. Not what I expected.
What a troubled soul. So controlled by men in her life.
Such a depressing life to me.
Hard to imagine Gidget having that terrible childhood of abuse while seeing that perky personality on TV. Yeah, that's acting all right.

Then I watched the Jane Fonda documentary.
Again, a woman controlled by every man in her life.

I finished Jane's documentary first.
Nothing really surprising there because I read her autobiography.
I am certain to anyone else there would be a lot of surprises.
It is so heartbreaking to hear her tell her story at times. The turmoil men caused.
Both of these women would suppress who they really were to please men.
They had to be a certain way and they played the role.
Time and time again is what is most difficult for me to understand.
I kept thinking, how could they do this for so long? It broke my heart.

When they couldn't stuff themselves away anymore they moved on but the pattern was there. As they got older they both changed and evolved as one would hope to and they both stopped doing what they had been doing their whole life.
But how sad to finally do that at age 72 and later.

Sally is 10 years older than me. Jane 19.
I know I did some of this with a man as a young person. I didn't go to school because my ex-wanted me to be able to travel with him in his minor league ballplaying life. I actually did it when I really did not wish to. (I went back to school immediately after separating.)

I sometimes thought while watching this that those 10 years or 19 years made such a difference for my life. All that happened in the 60's and 70's made me able to stand up and be who I wanted to be and not be controlled by my father (who sure tried) or any man I loved. How lucky I was to have been born at that time.
Again to me that was what was so sad in their stories. They didn't have that opportunity until far too late. I imagine it was the same for our mothers and grandmothers.

I had a mother who was ahead of her time.
She was always told what she couldn't do, not what she could do.
I only had her for 13 short years but she drilled this stuff into my head.
Never change for anyone Peggy.
Be the best you, you can be Peggy
If they say no, try harder Peggy
You are as good as any boy and maybe better and smarter, Peggy
That last one was from something I came home crying about at school.

One thing that always makes me laugh is as much as she was a woman ahead of her time she would always add the word, politely, nicely, be kind. So after telling me to try harder when they say no, she would tell me to push "gently" to not be aggressive or to be nice. As if aggressive was bad. They won't hear you if you aren't ladylike she would say. What a mixed message. But she was sadly right, even today men can't handle a woman's anger, they won't hear her.
So I understand it more now than I did then.

When my mom was dying she had me sitting on her bed with her one afternoon.
She told me that sometimes Dad doesn't like to think his girls are strong, brave and as smart as any boy.  Let him do his silly talking Peggy but know that you are strong, brave and as smart or smarter than any boy. You can be anything you want to be, do you understand me?

That was the first and only time I ever heard her say anything negative about my dad. At the time I thought this was a dumb conversation with my mom. But I get it now. She was preparing me. She knew what Dad was like. She wouldn't be there to talk to him as she had always done to help me. She would soften him first for me.

My mom had to quit high school in 11th grade due to the war. Her father needed her to get a job and help the family. Her older brother was allowed to stay in school because he was a boy and needed his education. What a crock of shit right? So off to the factory she went 1 year shy of her diploma.

My mom spent the rest of her short life trying to educate herself. She was so self-conscious of not having a high school diploma. She devoured books. History, art, fiction, nonfiction. She and I spent more time than anyone would believe in libraries. She taught me dewy decimal system long before school did. She bought me books, lots of books. One day I came home to her having coffee, a cigarette and sitting at the kitchen table reading the encyclopedia. I asked what she was doing and she said she heard something on TV and she wanted to learn more about it. I never asked what that was because I thought my mom so odd to be reading the encyclopedia.
But even then I realized she was always trying to learn.

When she wanted to do things outside the home, even volunteer at the library, my father put his foot down. I know she wanted so much more from her life but that is what was expected at the time in society. You never saw June Clever getting a job or doing anything outside of her family. That sadly was my mom's life and as I got older I saw how much she wanted a bit more and couldn't have it.
(that is the difference between my mom and stepmom, my stepmom never wanted anything more than to be taken care of by a man)

Sally and Jane were both doing not what they wanted to do or be who they truly were, but what they both felt or were told they had to do to get love, This is the sad feeling I got from these 2 women this weekend.

Here we have two very accomplished women in their field who were frightened to be alone. One who was abused in ways I can't fathom. One who didn't have a loving home or anyone to hug her or love her.  Neither had ever been shown real unconditional love from a parent who was present. (one who was physically there, but was always drunk)  Neither had a real sense of a warm loving family life growing up. While their stories are a bit different they are so much the same. And it was interesting to me that when both buried their own feelings they came out in anger, in pushing away, especially Sally. She was to me really angry at herself but instead took it out on those around her for suppressing her feelings and thoughts and ambition.

All in all a good book albeit sadder than I had hoped. The doc was everything I thought it would be and I hope many see it. But it's time for me to get some humor this heavy shit is done for a while.
My hope is that someone who reads this book sees themselves and is able to make that positive change.
I wanted to hug them both after reading and watching this weekend.
I love 'em both for enduring it all and coming out on the other side.
Better late is better than never right?

Babies

The weather here is perfection.
It is 70's and low 80's and low humidity.
Doesn't get much better than this.
I love this time of year and only wish I could live somewhere like this weather all the time. Would I appreciate it as much if I didn't have 90% humidity most of the summer or the dreadful cold of winter? I wonder.
I do love 4 seasons, it's just that as I have aged, I don't like the 4th one as much as I did when I was young. 3 seasons would be just fine with me now.
Know where I could get that?

My niece is about to have her baby. They induced her yesterday. 
As of this moment in time still no baby. My niece is a planner. A type A.
She reminds me so much of my younger self.
She is the oldest, she takes care of her sisters, she looks out for them and she does things by the book. She is career oriented and has no tolerance for laziness. She was driven to get her degree. She was driven to be the best. She has always known what she wanted and went for it.
She and her hubby are perfect for each other in this way.

She was thrilled they were going to induce her because then her husband would be there when the baby arrived. (he travels) Also she loved it because it was a plan. It wasn't going to be spontaneous.
She planned this baby. Of course. But she still hasn't learned how to let things go when they don't go as planned. She's only 28 so she will learn. She wanted to be a young mom. I think because she was raised by her grandparents (my parents) that had a lot to do with that thinking, although she denies it. 

I was chatting with her the other night about the baby coming. 
Her husband is a college football coach and she was worried he'd be traveling when the baby came. She was worried about this and that. 
I listened. Then I asked her how far away he'd be. Would he be able to get there in 24 hrs? Yes, he could.
I told her to take a deep breath and just try to relax. She can't control any of this, this baby will come when she is supposed to come.
She can't she keeps telling me. 
I know she is freaking out because she is not in control, I know this but she doesn't. I also know this because I do the same. 

I told her,  you are adding a baby to your life. It will not follow you and your husbands every planned thought. 
This baby will have her own plan. You will have to learn to compromise. Babies will do what they do. You have to go on this ride Alex and enjoy it. Don't be so hung up on everything being a certain way or it's not perfect. Enjoy all these little moments, be present. 

You will look back and cherish all of this. Please promise me you'll at least try, maybe for just one day a week say, "Today, whatever happens, happens and I will try to go with the flow" See if anyone dies or the earth stops spinning? Then the next day you can go back to what you do.
She won't but I had to plant that seed. 

I get it. I was that person when I was her age. 
But what is bad about being like that is when things don't go your way as you planned and worked on then it seems like the whole world is falling apart. Then you have anxiety. You miss out on the joy right in front of you. When in reality it is so minor. 
But until I turned 40 I just couldn't see it. 

Rick has also helped with that a great deal. 
He started with simple things. He would point out that if the dishes weren't done would the world end? So what if someone knocked on the door and saw I had dinner dishes in the sink? Why do I care what they think? I remember this conversation like it was yesterday with him. 
I was 31 and he was 32. 
He wouldn't let me do the dishes one night because he saw what I was doing.  My life stopped until all was to be done, then I could go out and have fun. 
He said nope, going for a ride around the beach, he did everything to keep me away from the dishes. It's all so funny now. I went to bed and he said, "you're thinking about the dishes aren't you?"
I laughed and admitted I was. He said, "let it go, they will be there in the morning"

Sure enough, they were there in the morning. 
The world didn't end. Nothing bad happened. (of course, I did them immediately)
He did this to me with a lot of things. Over the years I let most all go because I realized I only had so much control anyway. 
But it wasn't easy at first. 
Rick has no filter, never has. 
Rick has no care in the world what others think of him, never has. 
Rick loves to live in the moment and laugh and enjoy his life. 
To him, a dust bunny or two won't make him stop what he is doing. 
We have balanced one another out. He has moved a bit to my side and I have moved a lot to his. If I don't do the dishes so be it now. I don't think on my death bed I will be saying, "gee I wish I had cleaned more" 
He has turned me into a "oh what the hell" girl. 
I still like to plan but it's not with the same urgency as before.

I know my niece will figure this out.
Besides this baby will change all that whether she likes it or not. 
It's going to be interesting to watch.

Weekly Memes

This meme made me chuckle.
Although it should read, Guess What body PARTS (plural) if you ask me.

did I post this one already?

This below would be my crazy neighbor Nancy.

I love this shitty tipper board. I would like something similar for Angie's List and Yelp. Along with customers rating businesses on those sites, I would like to be able to rate customers. This way other contractors know who is batshit crazy and those who don't pay, etc.  Then and only then would it be a level playing field. 

The thought of it makes me very happy. 

Another Blonde Moment

Yesterday's temp was 85 but today's high will only be 65 so it was a bit chillier this morning. It certainly felt colder so I grabbed myself some socks before I walked out of the bedroom. (I never wear shoes around the house for some reason).
I grabbed my socks and I ran down the stairs this morning holding them.
Izzy and Rick were on their way out the door.

I was running around like I do in the morning.  
I put one sock on when Izzy came running in and stood at the back door wanting to go out.  I jumped up to open the back door. I put the other sock down on the sofa as I opened the back door for her. 
I began my morning routine of putting her food in her bowl, while Rick ran into the bathroom. Apparently at 5am Izzy wanted to walk slowly home after her morning constitution and Rick thought he could, but instead RAN back to the house to use the bathroom. That made me chuckle.

I grabbed Izzy's food and filled up her bowl. 
I began to make Rick's coffee and then his lunch.
I made sure he had his paperwork for the day and then made myself a cup of coffee.
When I was done, I sat on the sofa by Rick holding my warm cup of coffee with both hands and said, I must have a hole in my right sock because the bottom of my foot is cold. As I said this I lifted my foot to view the hole. 
He was looking as well.
I had not put on the other sock yet. 

We both began to laugh and he just shook his head and just said, "damn good thing you're cute Margaret"

Damn good thing love is blind. 😀

Halloween

Okay, let's gossip shall we? 
I mean I've been writing depressing stuff and why not go lower and gossip. 

I saw this and it made me laugh.

I showed it to Rick and said, "wanna bet Nancy gives this out for Halloween?"
He got a real kick out of that then said, "not if there is dressing in there, she'd never allow for that fatty dressing."  
I nodded my head knowing full well he was right.

You see we have a new neighbor. They rotate every two years because it's a rental. They are made to sign a 2 yr agreement. After 2 yrs no one stays for $2,700 a month + when they realize the landlord is a dick. 
Yes, that is the nicest thing I can say about him.

This new chickie as Rick refers to her is a stick.
She awakes before the crack of dawn. I see her on my 5am walks all excited to go to the gym. It takes everything I can to have a smile at that hour and not slap the little shit. She is all happy and talkative at that hour and she is in constant motion, never standing to talk but running in place. She exhausts me.

She comes home from working out for 2 hrs and gets her kids off to school. 
They are very young girls. I am guessing 1st and 3rd grade.
They could be older because they are tiny as their mom.
She tells me she works from home but each time I walk the dog she is heading out to a yoga class, a boot camp class and of course this is in addition to her 5a gym work out.  She has 2 - 3 exercise classes a day she tells me proudly. When does she have time to work and take care and be with her family?

I know she is telling me this while her inner conversation in her mind is saying, 'Look you chubby old broad get out there and do this yourself, you need it.'
But while she is thinking that about me I am thinking to myself, I'd rather get a root canal without novocaine than be that fanatic about exercise.
But I smile and nod while she tells me excitedly about her classes.

She is very small. She is taller than me but most are over the age of 12. 
She is probably 5'3 or 4. She has thighs the size of my ring finger.
When I made cookies for Rick I brought some over to her girls.
She wouldn't let them eat them. They saw the plate of cookies and she said no we don't eat cookies. I beg to differ, you don't want cookies because heaven forbid one cookie should touch the mouth of one of your daughters.

They don't need cookies she went on or begin to get fat at this age she tells me.
Okay then.  I took my cookies and walked home. But not before the neighbor on the other side was getting out of his car and said, "for me?" as I stood there holding a plate of cookies. 
I laughed and said, "Yes, Tom just for you." 
He was thrilled and I let it be that they were for him.

The other day when we were out front sweeping leaves as Izzy laid in the grass she came over with the girls to chat. The girls want a dog but she won't allow that until they are old enough to walk said dog. I was thinking, gee all that walking is exercise you nut job. isn't that what you want?" 
But that stayed in my head because I have a filter, unlike my hubby.

Rick asked the girls what they were going to be for Halloween. 
They were so excited to talk about what princess they would be and what was going on at school and the local parade of costumes. 
Rick said to the girls, "Well we can't wait until you ring our bell and we get to see you. What kind of candy do you like?"

The mom instantly said, "What do we do girls with our candy?"
In unison like trained robots and with their head down they said in a sad whine, "we give it away" as they didn't make eye contact.
Oh my God, that broke my heart. They looked so forlorn.

I said, "you give it away? why that is so nice of you." 
Knowing full well this skinny wench won't let candy touch the girl's lips for fear they will be fat not because she is being thoughtful to others less fortunate.
The mother said, 'they are allowed to pick out 4 or 5 pieces to keep and eat over the year, the rest is given away."  4 or 5 between 2 girls.Over a year? 2 pieces a piece over a year?  Why not just stop after 4 or 5 doors then? Why make them see all this candy that they can't have. 
It all seemed mean to me.
Their mom must have been a fat kid and this is her issue she is handing down to them. 

My husband being without filter said, "Really not even letting them have one indulgence all year for a kid? Wow, you're tough." 
She went off on how this starts bad habits and they don't need all that sugar and 4 or 5 in the house is not what she would want but a compromise made with her husband. Then she rolled her eyes.  
She doesn't think they should have any. 

So then Mr. No Filter said, "Did you go trick or treating as a kid or were you expected to just watch your friends have all the fun?" 
She said I went and I ate all the candy and now I must pay for it. 
She said that so strongly, "I must pay for it" like a motto or like she was punishing herself. How sad if that is the case.

My God this was the weirdest conversation. She must pay for it? 
Perhaps she was heavy and now is an exercise fanatic. Anorexic?
Those poor little girls.
I bet when they grow up they will go batshit crazy for candy because they have been deprived. 

My parents wouldn't let me take my candy into my room and I knew it was because they knew that I'd eat it all. They were right. 
We ate a lot on that night and then felt sick and didn't want any for awhile. 
But it lasted for months and our bags were handed to us when we asked. 
Yes, we were monitored but no one told us no. If my sister or I took more than one at a time my mom would take the bags away and say that is it girls. (Sometimes we got to keep two.)
Mom said this all stern but we would giggle and run.  When our candy was gone, that was it, no stealing from a sister. Bribing a sister worked, but not often. 

We did do a lot of trades though. 
I liked a lot of things my sister didn't so there were always trades. 
In fact, when we came home on Halloween night we would empty our bags on the floor and sort through it. Always gave my Dad the apples. Then my sister and I would begin our exchanges. 
I'll give you a baby ruth for that almond joy. 
I don't recall either of us eating more than one full-size bar which we got in those days unless it was smartees or something like that. 
I could make those Necco wafers last a long time. But more often than not I used those for negotiations with my sister. She loved them all but the black ones. I loved the black ones best so I would get her black ones and still get a baby ruth for exchanging. I won on that deal!

I LOVE Halloween so I hope they have fun at school.
I used to get some candy at school too. Wonder if the mom told the teachers no candy for her kids. I hope not because watching the other kids around them eating candy and not being able to have it would be so difficult. I hope the girls get their candy at school and not a salad.

Not Funny Today

I have been a real Debbie Downer this week, haven't I?
I think I will let the bummer blog continue for another day.
I want to talk to you all about something that is going on with me.

My mom died when I was 13. 
For the 3 years prior to her death, she was sick.
I put on a brave face as I was asked to do.
I put on a brave face when I got a new mom.
I put on a brave face when I was unhappy and wanted so desperately to talk to someone.
I put on a brave face when no one talked about my mom, it was like she vanished and that was that. Life went on.

I thought I handled it well frankly.
My sister walked around telling everyone her mother died and that was her excuse for everything and anything.
Her M.O. was - Bad behavior, sad face, my mother died. Everyone gave her sympathy and a free pass.

Yep, she still does it at age 59. She does it so much she used the line on me. The look on her face when I said, "Oh really? I didn't know, I'm sorry to hear that." It hit her then that she says it so much she forgot who she was talking to. But she couldn't recover and it just pissed me off. 

Everyone has shit in their lives. You can't go around pissing and moaning about it. You're no more special than the kid down the street who's father may beat him. We all have to deal with stuff, that is called Life. We can be pissy, moan and bitch or suck it up, do the work and make yourself a good life. I thought that was what I was to do. 

Suddenly as an older person, I am dealing with some of that. 
It's like I hit a wall.
I suppose if I went and talked to someone they would tell me to purge it.
But what am I purging exactly? 
How my father and all other adults wouldn't talk about? How we were expected to just go on, she's dead, you're alive, live.
I've sure done that here. I know I've told you about her telling me she was dying and how dad would remarry etc. It is buried here in my archives all that purging. I also did a long 3 part post on how it made me feel a couple years back when I had to look through all this shit from the funeral. How angry it made me. Why hasn't this anger gone away? Why does it bubble up from time to time?  

I have forgiven my Dad. He did the best he knew how. As the Maya Angelou saying goes, "When you know better you do better."  
I sure don't feel that way about my father day to day so it surprised me. 
I don't ever want to hold onto anger, it's not who I am or want to be.

Then I think, okay, I just vented I don't feel any better.
I wonder why this is bubbling up now? That is my question today.

Have you found as you have aged, what you thought were small things have reared their heads?  If so how did you handle it? Is it because I didn't deal with it as I should have that this is coming up? And how should I have dealt with it?  A lot of shit is coming back to me now at age 62.
I don't want to deal with negative shit for my last 20 or so years. That is not who I am. So I am befuddled on this one.

Any smart/wise men or women out there got an answer?

I promise to be back to smart ass Peg soon.

Red Tide

Gosh, I hate not seeing comments until I search for them!

It's raining AGAIN. I am getting webbed feet.
I swear when I lived in Seattle it did not rain this much. And never this heavy.
I will be moldy soon. It will be raining all week and won't stop until possibly this weekend. Keeping my fingers crossed. 

It's cool too. Weird. I fear my trip to Vermont. I may have to pack my long johns and parka. This southern gal will freeze in 30 degrees.
____________

Update on ole Izzy the Wonder Dog.
She is doing so much better. 
I know we bit the bullet on this one. She could have died.
We got back to the vet in 3 weeks or so to redo the blood work.
Hopefully, no lasting damage and my gut was right to leave that area quickly.

The link Mike sent in the comments showed a pond that was very green. 
We only saw a small amount in the corner of this cove. 
I can't fathom something with that much green. We would have all died.

My cousin is dealing with red tide in Tampa/St Pete. Very similar.
She is sick as well as it is killing fish, manatees etc
I do not eat fish and this will make me not want my loved ones to eat fish.

Apparently, this algae is so numerous that they discolor the coastal waters hence the name red tide. It depletes oxygen in the waters and releases toxins that may cause illness in humans and animals. 
My cousin stated that this has hurt tourism in the gulf. 

Will we just never have a place of fresh water to drink, swim in?
What are we doing to our planet?
Is this man made? I am having a helluva time trying to find anything that tells me what exactly it stems from except that is it algae. 
I found this link interesting. 
I admit a lot of things from this article I had to look up.

My cousin hasn't even been in the water but she lives close and apparently as the winds travel in her direction and she was outdoors this has affected her. She feels trapped. Can't go to the beach, can't be outside if the wind is going in her direction. That is damn crazy don't you think?  I find it very difficult to believe this is just nature. I believe this has man made written all over it don't you think?

Boy, this was a bummer of a post. Sorry.

Sick Izzy

When we got home from vacation Izzy was very sick.
The last day there (Friday) we thought she was just tired.
She didn't want to swim anymore and that alone is odd when there is water for her to see.
She kept going to the car when we took her for a walk like she wanted to get in and go home. She was also very lethargic.
But we kept saying to one another she is almost 10 so she's not as energetic as when she was younger. A lot like me.

We arrived home on a Friday. Saturday morning at 1:30AM she was vomiting. She did again later on Saturday. We began with only small amounts of rice and boiled chicken to see if she could hold that down. 
She looked so miserable. I wish she could talk and tell me what was hurting her.

I called the vet. We made arrangements to bring her in on Sunday morning unless she got worse then go to the ER.
We went to the vets on Sunday. Our normal vet was not working, but a vet that was did examine her. She took her blood. They gave her a liquid for hydration since she has been vomiting and put a drug in that liquid to stop nausea and vomiting.

This liquid they give her gives her a hump on her shoulders like she's a camel. Too bad they can't do that for Halloween. 😏

While we waited for her blood work to come back to us we noticed her perking up ever so slightly. That made us assume she was not nauseous anymore.

The blood work came back and the vet came to share with us the news.
The last time she had blood work her liver enzymes were 38 I believe she said.  Right now they were 1,810. 
So we began the questions of what she has ingested. Nothing was out of the ordinary as far as food I kept telling her. Yes, she was drinking far more water than normal. We went through all the questions.
Finally, I asked if algae could do this.

I told the doctor about an area that we have never seen or that we have ever gone to. No one was there, it was farmland area. It was incredibly quiet so we pulled our boat into a cove and anchored. We got our chairs and sat a spell and watched Izzy swim about. Then I noticed a large amount of algae on one side. I kept making Izzy come back towards us. Rick kept poo-pooing me as he likes to do.I'm a worry wart he'd say.

After 30 minutes the algae was moving towards us and I told Rick we should leave. Again he poo-pooed me. I began to fold my chair and grab my things and put them on the boat. I told him he could stay but I didn't think the algae was good for Izzy or for human swimming and we were leaving. 

He came along and we went back to the main lake. 
The doctor's first question was are you sure it was farmland. 
We said yes, for certain. Then she knew what happened. Apparently, this blue-green algae is from chemicals in fertilizers. This is toxic to dogs and I imagine humans as well.

She was concerned about Izzy. She was hoping the liver numbers would go back down but said if they don't she will have liver damage. Great. I about killed my fur baby.

She told us we had 2 choices, wait a few weeks and do another round of blood tests to see if the numbers go down or if she is not feeling better in 2 days then go to the internal medicine veterinary clinic.

We waited 2 days and she wasn't throwing up but not better. 
The Vet called to check up on her and after all my questions she asked what I wanted to do.
I said I would prefer to go the internal medicine route to be sure we didn't give her liver damage. Better to know sooner than later.

We did just that. They shaved her belly and did a scan. All was well. They took blood and her live numbers went down to 794. That is more than half so we were thrilled. The internal medicine Vet asked me all the questions again. 
This time I waited for him to tell me it was algae. I did not offer it and I knew it was not on the records I brought. 

He asked if we had taken her to any bodies of water near farmland. 
He thought it was from blue-green algae. And he went on to explain what this algae was and did to dogs and humans. I then told him what we had done. He said if we had let her stay in that water any longer this could have been far worse. 

We still have to have her blood work looked at in another few weeks to make certain it is going down and there are no lasting effects. But right now she appears to be back to normal. We are thrilled to say the least and thankful once again for pet insurance!

If this algae from fertilizer does this to a dog, then what does this fertilizer do regarding our food?
Is Montasano going to kill us all?

Achilles

I've been in baseball mode.
1 more game we must not let them clinch in our house.
That is all I ask the baseball God's.

I went to the foot doctor regarding my Achilles for a follow-up.
I hate that boot but I love that boot.
The compression feels great,

So, of course, I say this out loud thinking it is a harmless remark.
But are there harmless remarks in my house with Rick around?
As is the case Rick grabbed it and won't let go.

He asked if he had to buy me those old lady knee-high compression socks.
He told me that would be a nice look on me as he is cracking himself up. 
He said I'd look like my Grandma.
He then reminded me of my old Italian grandmother who wore knee highs with her hairy legs and with a dress.

I reminded him those were not compression garments, just knee highs.
I ask, "Gee don't you think that's a hot look? You don't think I should do that?"
He continues laughing telling me I will be wearing that look in no time.
He reminds me that Ancestry.com just sent me an update on my DNA.
He tells me I am destined to look like her. 

Apparently, with new science, they are updating data.
He got the same thing from Amazon only different results.
I am 96% Italian and 4% Turkey and Caucasus, whatever that is.
So now he is having a field day with this Italian stuff.

I will be the bearded lady in my old age according to him. You know the old joke, why do Italian men grow mustaches? To look like their mother. 
So he's been on this line of thought all week. 

Honestly every chance he gets to give me a hard time.
He won't let up about my old lady things happening to me.
If compression socks show up in my Xmas stocking he is a dead man.