Mike’s comment on my post yesterday reminded me of something that happened to me in my past.
My first job in the travel industry I worked for a small airline.
I flew to work each day. To some that is exciting. To me it was a royal pain in the ass.
Weather could mean I didn’t get home that night.
This job was with a small commuter airline in a small city.
The airline was being absorbed by a large carrier and it’s headquarters were moving to my hometown. The whole operation was moving but when they hired me they told me I would have to commute for a few months. (a few months lasted a full year!)
One day it began to snow, and snow, and snow some more.
I kept looking out my office window praying it would slow down so I could get home that night.
I actually had plans. This is when my commute via plane was so not fun.
I knew I was going to be stuck here. The only thing this snow storm did for me was realized I needed to have extra clothes that I could keep here in the office just for situations like this.
But on this night I had nothing but the clothes on my back.
And I was not wearing pants, boots or anything that would be good in this weather.
No that would make my life too easy. I was wearing a typical 1980’s suit, with nylons and heels.
I also just had a raincoat with a lining. When I looked out the window I wished for a pair of pants, winter boots and a warm parka and gloves.
Now the airport here was just like the television show Wings. Exactly.
There were the two airlines and the snack bar all in the same area as where the passengers waited.
On Wings they had a staircase but I don’t recall them ever showing us what was up there.
At this airport the upstairs had a restaurant and bar.
We went to that bar a lot as pilot and travel industry people are prone to do.
(Tip: travel industry folks can party like no others I have ever met. Be warned)
The day of the snow I left the office and went over to the bar with some co-workers and pilots. We all were grounded so to speak so what the hell, let’s drink.
Most lived nearby and weren’t flying so let the party begin.
Two of us made arrangements at the local motel. Yes, a motel, not a hotel.
This town did not have a hotel.
We had dinner and lots of cocktails. This group of people was always so much fun.
George was one of the older pilots
Allow me to rephrase that, he was not old.
I was in my 20’s he was probably 40 at best but to me at that time he was the old guy.
All the other pilots really looked up to him and respected him.
I heard all the tales of how great he was. He flew in Vietnam and boy he had stories.
I always wondered why he was working at this little carrier.
When you are a pilot you generally start at a small carrier until you have more hours etc and work your way up to bigger aircraft. He didn’t want anything more.
In fact last I heard he was a private pilot for a famous golfer.
So he was still flying but keeping it small as he would say.
He also liked living in this little city and just wasn’t interested in the big city life.
George was a one man show. He was crazy nuts, funny as hell and such a warm man.
I loved this guy. Once when he was flying me to work and no one else was in this little plane he did some shit just because he knew I was hung over. I actually threw up in my briefcase.
Yes, he did that on purpose. I was teased about that for a very long time.
I got off the plane and just threw my whole briefcase in the waste receptacle.
I couldn’t fathom cleaning it. I was so green.
If I could have spoken I would have killed him. And boy did he laugh.
When I was being bothered by guys hitting on me he was like my big brother I never had.
I really loved ole George. And this night he was in rare form.
At one point someone dared him to take his pants off for who knows what reason.
He got on the bar and danced in his boxer shorts to some Van Halen song.
People were throwing money at him. Oh if only they had had camera phones back then!
His boxers had some animals on them. I don’t recall what they were but my lord it made us all laugh.
Like kittens or something you just wouldn’t think you’d see on this macho man.
The other person who like me had to get a motel was a pilot.
He had stopped drinking much earlier in the evening in hopes that he was flying tomorrow so he wanted to leave to get some sleep. He was my ride as well so I had to leave too.
We checked into our little rooms. Our rooms were next door to one another.
The door to our room was from outside, first a screen door, then our room door.
It was clean and at this point it was all I could ask for.
Remember I had worn a suit to work with nylons and heels.
(back in the day when women wore pantyhose to work)
I had nothing warm. I was freezing.
I called the front desk and asked about the heat.
Apparently it was as high as it was going to go. Great.
So I asked for another blanket. But even that didn’t help.
Now I am a woman who is seldom cold but this was a very cold room and it was snowy and cold outside. It felt like the wind was coming through my little door.
I called the pilot next door and asked if he had any extra clothes.
He too thought it was ridiculously cold in there.
I told him I got an extra blanket he may want to call them.
He offered me his shirt and socks he had worn that day.
I didn’t even care I took them. My feet were freezing!!
So there I was wrapped in a pilots dirty shirt down to my knees and socks that were huge.
But I didn’t care my feet were at least starting to get warm.
The following morning I got up to shower.
I thought I had shut the door behind me as I stepped into the shower but apparently it didn’t catch.
As I was washing my hair I felt a chill so I slide back the shower curtain and saw the door open.
With a full head of shampoo lathered on my head I leaned forward bending at the waist only to slam the door. (very small bathroom)
The door slammed shut and I went face first into the tiles - hard.
My feet still planted firmly on the bottom of the bathtub.
It felt like my head bounced off the tile.
I literally saw stars just like in the cartoons.
I stood up and closed my eyes and opened them a few times to get my bearings.
I then went right back to washing my hair.
I had my back toward the shower head and tilting my head back to rinse my hair.
Yet I was feeling something warm running down my face.
It took me a minute to realize this was not water. The water was behind me.
I felt it and my hands were red with blood.
I was still a bit dizzy but finished rinsing my hair.
I got out of the shower and grabbed another wash cloth and held it to my nose which was now bleeding like a running faucet.
I didn't know that I also had a cut across my nose that was also causing all this blood.
I held my head over the bathroom sink trying to figure out what the hell was happening because I had never had a nose bleed before. The white wash cloth was turning red so quickly.
I grabbed a small hand towel now. When I did that I saw blood on the floor.
Oh my goodness. It was looking like a crime scene.
But every time I would lift my head up I would get all whoozy and nauseas.
So back into the sink I would go holding the towel on my nose.
What I am about to tell you next Rick likes to state that it says a lot about me and who I am.
I’ll let you be the judge.
Keeping my head down and holding the towel on my nose I filled up the tub with cold water.
I began to throw all the bloody towels I have used to clean up the floor and the sink and my face in the cold water. I feared that I had ruined them and I thought I better get them in cold water so I didn’t stain the towels.
I know, I know, who does that right?
I still couldn’t lift my head and I had to get dressed the same way I was doing things in the bathroom – bent at the waist with my head in my hand.
I called the pilot next door and said to go ahead without me.
I told him I had fallen and am having some issues. He said he’d come right over.
Well, no. I can’t get dressed and I would prefer when you get over to the airport you have Michelle (my boss) come over here to help me.
He made a joke about not looking but I couldn't even laugh I was in pain and dizzy and worried.
Hey I wasn’t going to let this guy dress me. I work with these people for heaven’s sake.
I managed to get my bra and panties on because I was damn sure I was not having my boss put them on me.
She walked into my room and squealed.
Apparently my eyes were turning black and blue and swollen already.
I just wanted to stop this bleeding and throw up.
But I needed to get dressed and I couldn't sit upright for long.
It all felt better if I was laying across the bed.
She helped me to get dressed and drove me to the hospital.
Helping me into my clothes was a comedy skit for sure.
If I hadn’t been feeling so awful I would have laughed then.
We laughed later on over this one.
At the hospital I was told I broke my nose and had to get a tetnus shot for the slash across my nose.
I remember being on a gurney and this really good looking young doctor or nurse came over and put the sides up of the bed and asked me to put my hands on either side as he held my hand closest to him.
I am now a bit loopy and seriously am only looking at this gorgeous guys hands on mine.
I was too drugged to realize he was holding me down not holding my hand.
With his hands over mine he asked how I was doing and where I was from.
You know the small talk trick trying to distract me I suppose.
Then a woman put her hands over my other hand on the other side of the bed.
She startled me. The doctor came over and said nothing just put her hands on both sides of my nose and moved it. I recall a loud yelp coming from me. OMG did that hurt.
I think it was now “set” She said, “you’re okay now and good to go.”
Gorgeous hospital man would go over my instructions.
The gorgeous guy stayed behind and told me what I had and what I had to do.
I had a concussion and a broken nose and now 2 big ole black eyes.
The cut across my nose was sewn up and I was fine I just wasn’t able to sleep due to the concussion. He had concerns about the aircraft I was to fly home in.
He and my boss walked away and were discussing this. I was too loopy to care.
They sent me back to the hotel. Michelle said I was not working today.
Gee ya think?
Since I couldn’t fly home until evening I was to sit/lay in the hotel until someone picked me up for my flight. I was not to fall asleep either because of the concussion.
She informed me that every so many minutes someone from the office would call me to be sure I was awake. I never was awake but they did their job as told by Mr. Gorgeous nurse/resident/intern and kept me from really sleeping. Sleep is all I wanted to do.
The aircraft I was flying home in was unpressurized.
The doctor felt this was going to be a problem. Pain, bleeding etc.
I just wanted to go home for a few days and not be in a hotel with no clothes you know?
I wanted to crawl into my big warm comfy bed. Pain and or bleeding be damned.
It was only a 30 minute flight just please let me go home!
I was picked up by George at the hotel around 4p. He was my pilot home.
That made me feel good. He always made me feel taken care of like your big brother.
I was hungry so I sat at the snack bar but trying to eat I found I couldn’t because I would have to move muscles on my face to chew that caused me too much pain. So they made me a milkshake. As I sat at the snack bar a lot of the people I work with were asking me all kinds of questions. Making jokes and just generally ribbing me. Looked like I was in a fight with Tyson and I lost. That type of stuff.
As I told them what had happened one of the pilots said, “Peg where the hell were your hands when you fell forward?”
I wanted to laugh but it hurt. I didn’t have an answer for this.
But before I could say anything George said, “Look at how she's built, it’s a wonder she doesn’t fall over a helluva lot more often.”
Oh that had the whole snack bar start laughing.....loudly....at me.
I even thought that was pretty damn funny but it hurt like hell to laugh or smile.
But I hated being known for this. The "two" things I was always trying to hide.
But leave it to George to make me feel a bit better and see the humor.
Unfortunately this comment followed me my whole career while I was at this airline.
I wasn’t thrilled to be known as “that” girl, the one with the big boobs who fell over.
But I have a sense of humor and I too thought it was funny.
I just wish the joke wasn't on me.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Holy Water
Damn Holy Water!!
Guess that is where I got these DD's.
Raised Catholic and always had to put my hands in holy water.
I must have touched my chest unknowingly when I was a tiny child.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
It's a no wonder I left the church.
Guess that is where I got these DD's.
Raised Catholic and always had to put my hands in holy water.
I must have touched my chest unknowingly when I was a tiny child.
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
It's a no wonder I left the church.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Writing Class
I wrote this for a blog post awhile ago and never posted it for some reason.
Since typing for any length of time is still difficult right now I thought I'd dig into the archives.
______
A few years ago I attempted to take a class in writing.
Everyone thought I should if I was going to write a blog.
You can see if you've been reading me that I am a drop out.
The way she asked me to write a story was all so very flowery.
It was encouraged to write that way.
But it isn’t how I speak.
I found it so difficult.
So very much like F. Scott Fitzgerald much more than me.
She kept saying she wanted unique and descriptive.
The things that got encouragement from the instructor were things that were so difficult for me to write. So I decided in my class that it was apparent that I am most certainly not a writer.
Nor will I ever be because I just couldn't cut this class.
Yes, she said nice things to me about these assignment but it took me forever to write this way.
The small vignettes or sentences below I had to write were all about something in my life that had happened or was happening.
They were to be a vivid memory yet worded in a way that you may not even know it was me.
I found it all so exhausting. Hence why I’m not a writer I suppose.
I knew what I wanted to say but a paragraph could take me an hour to find a way to say it the way the instructor wanted it said. I kept thinking if I really was a writer and I went through this angst it would take me 100 years to write a book.
I’m giving you some examples below.
This first one was how I found out my mother had died.
It was so long ago but I can still smell the stale smoke at my Grandmothers house.
I can still feel it, see it and it feels so raw even to this day.
Yet articulating it was so difficult for me.
Oh not if I could just write it like I speak, that would be easy.
This was for my very first lesson in class.
I would write some and then walk away.
It was so damn difficult of an exercise.
Oh not because of my mom’s death but because this is not how I speak.
It just didn’t come easily for me.
The instructor asked me to write about this topic and I did as told.
Thankfully I got an A as well as encouragement not to quit. (But I quit anyway)
________
She instinctively knew the minute she bounced into the room. The familiar faces that surrounded the dining room table were in various modes of still. She politely turned her head away to the wall of windows on her left with the happy sunlight filling her view. She didn’t want to turn away from her safe view but she knew she had to face them. She glanced their way again hoping to see the playful sunshine on their faces this time. Instead she saw the aura of their whispers and she just knew it wasn’t going to be sunny again for a very long time.
This next two make me laugh because they too were real situations.
One of them being the damn assignments.
She wanted a sentence that “moved”
That term she kept using drove me absolutely bat shit crazy.
“Movement”, or it “moved” were said by her all too frequently.
I was very busy so I just wrote these flippantly and considered it a completed assignment.
I thought I’d hear about being lazy yet she loved it! I admit that made me laugh.
They never came that easily again for me. Trust me on that.
His manner was meek as were his clothes so she was startled when he leaned in closely and in an aggressive whisper told her to leave
In defeat of a realization that it was now work instead of blissful pleasure she let go of a disappointed sigh.
Gee is it obvious that last one is me writing about my class here?
So have you taken a writing class?
If so, did you do this because you want to be a writer or just for fun?
I thought it would be fun but it wasn't fun to me, so I am curious.
Did you get from it what you thought you wanted or needed?
Love to hear your thoughts on this.
Since typing for any length of time is still difficult right now I thought I'd dig into the archives.
______
A few years ago I attempted to take a class in writing.
Everyone thought I should if I was going to write a blog.
You can see if you've been reading me that I am a drop out.
The way she asked me to write a story was all so very flowery.
It was encouraged to write that way.
But it isn’t how I speak.
I found it so difficult.
So very much like F. Scott Fitzgerald much more than me.
She kept saying she wanted unique and descriptive.
The things that got encouragement from the instructor were things that were so difficult for me to write. So I decided in my class that it was apparent that I am most certainly not a writer.
Nor will I ever be because I just couldn't cut this class.
Yes, she said nice things to me about these assignment but it took me forever to write this way.
The small vignettes or sentences below I had to write were all about something in my life that had happened or was happening.
They were to be a vivid memory yet worded in a way that you may not even know it was me.
I found it all so exhausting. Hence why I’m not a writer I suppose.
I knew what I wanted to say but a paragraph could take me an hour to find a way to say it the way the instructor wanted it said. I kept thinking if I really was a writer and I went through this angst it would take me 100 years to write a book.
I’m giving you some examples below.
This first one was how I found out my mother had died.
It was so long ago but I can still smell the stale smoke at my Grandmothers house.
I can still feel it, see it and it feels so raw even to this day.
Yet articulating it was so difficult for me.
Oh not if I could just write it like I speak, that would be easy.
This was for my very first lesson in class.
I would write some and then walk away.
It was so damn difficult of an exercise.
Oh not because of my mom’s death but because this is not how I speak.
It just didn’t come easily for me.
The instructor asked me to write about this topic and I did as told.
Thankfully I got an A as well as encouragement not to quit. (But I quit anyway)
________
She instinctively knew the minute she bounced into the room. The familiar faces that surrounded the dining room table were in various modes of still. She politely turned her head away to the wall of windows on her left with the happy sunlight filling her view. She didn’t want to turn away from her safe view but she knew she had to face them. She glanced their way again hoping to see the playful sunshine on their faces this time. Instead she saw the aura of their whispers and she just knew it wasn’t going to be sunny again for a very long time.
This next two make me laugh because they too were real situations.
One of them being the damn assignments.
She wanted a sentence that “moved”
That term she kept using drove me absolutely bat shit crazy.
“Movement”, or it “moved” were said by her all too frequently.
I was very busy so I just wrote these flippantly and considered it a completed assignment.
I thought I’d hear about being lazy yet she loved it! I admit that made me laugh.
They never came that easily again for me. Trust me on that.
His manner was meek as were his clothes so she was startled when he leaned in closely and in an aggressive whisper told her to leave
In defeat of a realization that it was now work instead of blissful pleasure she let go of a disappointed sigh.
Gee is it obvious that last one is me writing about my class here?
So have you taken a writing class?
If so, did you do this because you want to be a writer or just for fun?
I thought it would be fun but it wasn't fun to me, so I am curious.
Did you get from it what you thought you wanted or needed?
Love to hear your thoughts on this.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Clumsy ole Margaret
Hi. It's me, Izzy, writing to you today
My human mom hurt her shoulder. She's blaming me but it's not my fault.
Thursday she and I were outside and I was just laying in the grass eating a stick while she and the lady across the street were chatting. She was facing this lady and I was behind her but I was on the leash. Hey it's not my fault that a big fat squirrel ran in front of me. I jumped up and took off to chase it and my mom wasn't looking and it pulled her shoulder and she screamed and I lost the darn squirrel. Boy I hate when she does that. She kept saying that something pulled in her arm/shoulder. But she seemed fine to me. We finished the walk but she took me off the leash. Had I known it would have been that easy I would have jerked her around long ago. I never run away and I never go beyond my human parents when walking without the leash so I am blaming her for hurting herself. Sounds right doesn't it?
On Friday she was really moaning about pain.
She wouldn't throw the ball for me at lunch time either.
I love that she throws the ball at lunch time instead of wasting her time eating.
She hurt her left arm and she's right handed so why couldn't she throw for me?
I think she is milking this people. What do you think?
Saturday morning she was up way before me and Rick.
She said she had been up since 1:30a.m. sitting in the theatre seats because it was more comfortable than lying in bed. Ooh oh.
I remember that from the time she torn her rotator cuff and shredded her labrum.
I hope she doesn't remember that.
Now my mom isn't quiet. That isn't an adjective anyone would use to describe her.
She's always laughing or talking or making some noise.
But on Saturday she was quiet all day and when she wasn't quiet she was cranky.
I don't like when she's in pain - she's not fun to be around.
It was all about her. Normally it's all about me.
I don't like this change.
I don't like this change.
I didn't even get treats.
She gives me these great peanut butter treats and hugs.
I got neither.
She sat around with ice on her shoulder/arm.
She closed her eyes a lot.
She didn't even come to bed with my human dad and me.
She slept in the theatre seats in the tv room.
Don't think she is getting much sleep right now.
Sunday she was worse. I heard her cry trying to get dressed.
I watched as Rick attempted to help her get dressed. (memories from last time)
Once again he seems to be very deft at taking a bra off with a snap of his fingers but putting it on someone is like a foreign object he's never seen before.
He decided that Mom shouldn't wear one and to just "be free" as he said.
He laughed, she sighed, and I just watched these two goof balls.
I think Mom was fighting tears. I think she is in some serious pain here.
I kept giving her cute puppy eyes so that I don't have to feel guilty about this.
She also asked Rick for help on her hair but he just can't get the hang of a blow dryer and a brush. She may be wearing a baseball cap for awhile.
At least her right hand is pain free so she can do some things.
Sunday night she sat in those big ole chairs with ice on her.
She slept that way too for a few hours, but Rick and I went to bed.
This morning she is whining some more. I think I've had enough of this.
She can't tie her shoes. She had to put her boots on before Rick left so he could help her.
She says she can't type. She can't lift her arm. She is in a bad way.
It's making her cranky so I will try to behave today.
I think I will sleep a lot and stay out of her way.
If she isn't better soon what will I do? Wanna come play with me?
Friday, January 20, 2012
Your Opinion
These are some submissions for a retail box for our new product.
I don't like them much.
One does stand out to me but we have a long way to go yet to make it what it needs to be.
This is just the first step.
Your opinoin would be appreciated.
If you hate them all let me know.
If there is one better than another please let me know.
We would love your comments.
Remember these are for boxes so these are flatten boxes.
I have my preference.
Once we chose one then we will work further with that designer to make changes and work from there. I believe there will be a lot of discussions and changes before we get to where we need to be. This is just the 1st step.
So if you would be so kind we would love your opinion.
(link removed due to contest completed)
In other news.....
It's that time of year where it's cold and I'm paler than pale.
I love 4 seasons but at this time of year I am ready for it to be a bit warmer.
In August I feel ready for fall. Same thing.
Come February I have had enough of winter and I'm ready for spring to rear it's head.
So I started looking at some summer pictures of being at the lake house.
I thought I would share.
This is when Izzy was just a mere pup of less than a year.
She hated the wind in her face and she just squint like this the whole time on the boat ride.
Damn she's cute.
Aah, I remember warm sunny days playing in warm water.
And hey Katie if you're reading this - I saw those great noodles again at Costco.
I think I have to buy some more for this year so we all have them when you come down!
Happy Weekend everyone. Think warm.
I don't like them much.
One does stand out to me but we have a long way to go yet to make it what it needs to be.
This is just the first step.
Your opinoin would be appreciated.
If you hate them all let me know.
If there is one better than another please let me know.
We would love your comments.
Remember these are for boxes so these are flatten boxes.
I have my preference.
Once we chose one then we will work further with that designer to make changes and work from there. I believe there will be a lot of discussions and changes before we get to where we need to be. This is just the 1st step.
So if you would be so kind we would love your opinion.
(link removed due to contest completed)
In other news.....
It's that time of year where it's cold and I'm paler than pale.
I love 4 seasons but at this time of year I am ready for it to be a bit warmer.
In August I feel ready for fall. Same thing.
Come February I have had enough of winter and I'm ready for spring to rear it's head.
So I started looking at some summer pictures of being at the lake house.
I thought I would share.
This is when Izzy was just a mere pup of less than a year.
She hated the wind in her face and she just squint like this the whole time on the boat ride.
Damn she's cute.
I think I have to buy some more for this year so we all have them when you come down!
Happy Weekend everyone. Think warm.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Wedding.
It was 1983.
I was going through my divorce from my 1st husband and high school sweetheart.
My friends gave me a lot of grief that I wasn't mean to him.
I heard things like, he hurt you make him pay.
Take the money and make him feel this like he hurt you.
That isn't my nature. Doesn't mean you can't do that if you like but it's not my nature to do that type of thing. I may have only been 27 at that time but I just have always felt that being mean, vindictive or spiteful only hurt me not the person who has done you wrong.
Besides I liked the guy. I will never understand the animosity that I see with divorce couples. How can you hate them? You loved them once enough to marry them. Yes he hurt me terribly. Aside from my mothers death this was the biggest pain in my life. But being mean to someone else wasn't going to make me feel better. It wasn't going to make him love me. It wasn't going to do anything but make me a bitter mean woman. Just isn't who I am.
We had grown apart and I began to feel like I was running in place.
The communication was off and I was lonely in my marriage.
I made the mistake of having a weak moment and sharing with a friend.
She apparently called him at work. He came home livid that I would talk to her about the issues we were dealing with at home. We talked and talked and we even tried counseling.
Then this casual friend was hanging around a lot more.
I began to suspect he was no longer mad at her and was fooling around with her.
I was right about what was going on and I caught them by accident. Whoops! Painful.
I knew if I had been honest with myself that we were going in this direction.
However I buried that. I was a kid.
I kept thinking this was just a bump and we'd go back to the way we were.
But deep down I knew this was not true.
Now it was no longer in the back of my mind, it was right there in front for me to deal with.
And deal with it I did in my way.
I remember our "come to Jesus" meeting. We talked and I cried and we decided that I would move out. This was his home before we married. We discussed how we would split things up.
We talked about splitting the money and I would go back to school.
It was very emotional and very mature at the same time.
We both had feelings for one another but we both knew this was what needed to be done.
Painful but we had to. I knew he hurt too even though he facilitated the end so to speak.
When I saw this so called friend I told her what was on my mind. It wasn't nice.
But I also knew I would see her and I had to be able to get this off my chest and know that when I saw her we could at least be civil. Awkward but civil.
We were a "gang" so to speak so there was no way that we wouldn't see one another or run into one another. Sadly the "gang" took sides. The two of the them were left on the curb.
For some reason that made me feel badly but yet it made things easier for me to still see my friends and not see them. But my friends kept wanting me to be mean.
How can you talk to him? How can you be so civil and split things up evenly?
You lost your job a few weeks ago - take all his money! C'mon make him pay they would say.
I remember an evening when we sat in his home separating our things.
We had been together from age 17 to age 27. My whole adult life really.
We sat on the living room floor and started separating our albums. His pile and mine.
I have to tell you how much we laughed because this was the hardest part of the splitting of things. How damn silly.
"I want the History of Eric Clapton", I said.
He responded with, " it was a gift from you to me so I should be able to keep it."
We compromised on a lot of our albums by making cassettes of albums for the other person.
How absolutely silly don't you think? Now I can't play the albums or the cassettes.
This we argued over, how ridiculous. We had over 400 albums between us and he thought he couldn't go on without James Gang or The Doors.
Thankfully he hated Billy Joel so I got them all. None of which I can even play now.
I want to believe that if I had children and when I went through my divorce I would have handled my divorce and the communication with my ex the same way that I did with or without children. I know it would have been miserable at first. Down right miserable!
But as the years went on it would have become easier.
Besides what kind of message would I be sending my children if I acted the way my friends thought one should act. It just isn't me or where I feel comfortable. I don't want to be friends with him per se but I didn't want to be enemies either. I also don't want to say anything bad about my ex to my children because it is their father. This would be hard enough on them they don't need to take sides but to know they are loved and they can love both parents the same as always. This is a scary time and they need to know that while life for them is changing their parents love for them will never change. Who are the adults here anyway?
Two years after the divorce my new boss and I are going to go to some guy's house that she just met. He asked her to stop by because he said he was having a few friends from work over to his home. She asked me to go with her. I walked into the small party and saw "him" playing pool.
Oh geez. I panicked. I hadn't seen him in 2 years. He looked up and saw me too and I saw the panic in his eyes. I was introduced to the man hosting this get together and my boss's date.
He introduced me to the man he was playing pool with. I shook his hand.
We smiled and I said," nice to see you again."
My boss, Heidi, said, "do you know one another?"
My ex looked paniked. I said, "yes we went to high school together." without missing a beat.
Hey it was the truth we did go to school together.
They nodded and nothing else was said. I stayed on the other side of the room most of the night.
As the night went on I was behind the bar making my self a drink.
The host asked if I needed anything because he saw me looking around.
I said, "Do you have any limes?"
I was making myself a gin and tonic. He got me a lime and a knife.
My ex said, "Oh don't give her a knife without a band-aid."
We both had a big laugh like something is between us.
Yes this was an ongoing joke when we were together. Everyone else laughed but had no idea.
As Heidi and I were driving home she asked me about this guy I knew from high school.
She thought he seemed nice. I said he is a nice guy.
I told her he was my ex-husband. She squealed, WHAT? and pulled over.
I explained that if I had said that it would have made everyone uncomfortable.
I would have been uncomfortable because everyone would be looking to see how we interacted or if we even did interact. I didn't want that.
She said, "but you guys were so nice to one another"
I said, "why not?" She looked at me like I had a 3rd eye while we discussed this.
The conversation was making me squirm and this is why I didn't say anything I told her.
So that brings me to Rick's daughters wedding. WHAT you say?
Rick's wife is mean to me. Rick's wife is mean to his daughter if she says nice things or does nice things to or for her father. Rick's Ex will still not even utter a word in his direction.
I met his ex wife 10 years after they had been divorced so there is no reason to be mean to me. None. But she is petty. At his daughters graduation his ex's new husband asked us to come to the house for the graduation and she yelled, "Oh no they can't come to my home."
When I was introduced to her at the high school at the graduation I extended my hand and said, "Hi XYZ it is nice to finally meet you." She turned her head as my head just hung there.
We have never ever had the opportunity to spend any time with his daughter at any important event or activity or sport in this girls lifetime. We went to one sporting event and were asked to leave once the ex made a loud obnoxioius roar about us watching his daughters game.
We were always asked to stay away. She accepted our money. She accepted the tuition for college. She filled her daughters head with lies. Lies I had to say nothing about because my husband said that we had to take the high road. That if we told her that her mother was a liar we were stooping to her mothers level. That we would be making his daughter hear bad things about her mom and that she shouldn't have to pick sides. He really thought she would see the real issues when she grew up. Hmmm....never happened sadly.
So now we have a wedding. I imagine we will be asked for a lot of money for said wedding.
I imagine we will not be invited to anything to do with the wedding, if even the wedding unless his daughter speaks up. If we can actually go to the wedding we will be treated like outsiders. Except our money. I have to say this makes me angry.
Rick and his daughter don't have a great relationship. He has tried and I see the pain he goes through. But there comes a point that as a 31 almost 32 year old she has to see the truth. I have told her things that Rick would kill me for. But she needed to know. I never bad mouth her mother, for heaven's sake it's her mother and I am evil step mommy. I get that.
But telling a 7 year old that your father killed your dog is a horrific statement.
He lived 3 hrs away and he had no access to the dog. Besides being a dog lover that would never ever have happened. The mom wanted to get rid of the dog and why not blame that evil father of yours. She really thought he did that until she was 20 yrs old.
There are a lot of awlful stories like this.
So why can't people just put it all aside? I honestly just don't understand that.
If you love your child why the hell would you do this to your kid?
Why did she have to damage her kids relationship with her father?
Does that make her feel good that she hurt her daughter?
Does she get some kind of pleasure from having her daughter always say that she missed having her father in her life more? She stopped that from happening. She forbid it.
I understand the pain. I understand the uncomfortable part when in their company.
But you loved one another once. More importantly you say you love your child.
You married at age 20 and were too damn young and grew apart.
No one was to blame here. Grow up and move on.
Do what is best for you and your child for once. Put someone's life and well being ahead of your own. Isn't that what parents do?
I hope his daughter elopes. This is going to be too much to bear if we are completely ostrized.
I should say, too much for Rick to bear. I'm used to it.
No one will even talk to me and I have nothing to do with any of this.
It's been 30 years - what is the Statute of Limitations here?
When will she (the ex) grow up? She is 56 now. C'mon it's time.
Hurting her daughter is a crime to me that mothers or fathers just shouldn't be allowed to commit.
I was going through my divorce from my 1st husband and high school sweetheart.
My friends gave me a lot of grief that I wasn't mean to him.
I heard things like, he hurt you make him pay.
Take the money and make him feel this like he hurt you.
That isn't my nature. Doesn't mean you can't do that if you like but it's not my nature to do that type of thing. I may have only been 27 at that time but I just have always felt that being mean, vindictive or spiteful only hurt me not the person who has done you wrong.
Besides I liked the guy. I will never understand the animosity that I see with divorce couples. How can you hate them? You loved them once enough to marry them. Yes he hurt me terribly. Aside from my mothers death this was the biggest pain in my life. But being mean to someone else wasn't going to make me feel better. It wasn't going to make him love me. It wasn't going to do anything but make me a bitter mean woman. Just isn't who I am.
We had grown apart and I began to feel like I was running in place.
The communication was off and I was lonely in my marriage.
I made the mistake of having a weak moment and sharing with a friend.
She apparently called him at work. He came home livid that I would talk to her about the issues we were dealing with at home. We talked and talked and we even tried counseling.
Then this casual friend was hanging around a lot more.
I began to suspect he was no longer mad at her and was fooling around with her.
I was right about what was going on and I caught them by accident. Whoops! Painful.
I knew if I had been honest with myself that we were going in this direction.
However I buried that. I was a kid.
I kept thinking this was just a bump and we'd go back to the way we were.
But deep down I knew this was not true.
Now it was no longer in the back of my mind, it was right there in front for me to deal with.
And deal with it I did in my way.
I remember our "come to Jesus" meeting. We talked and I cried and we decided that I would move out. This was his home before we married. We discussed how we would split things up.
We talked about splitting the money and I would go back to school.
It was very emotional and very mature at the same time.
We both had feelings for one another but we both knew this was what needed to be done.
Painful but we had to. I knew he hurt too even though he facilitated the end so to speak.
When I saw this so called friend I told her what was on my mind. It wasn't nice.
But I also knew I would see her and I had to be able to get this off my chest and know that when I saw her we could at least be civil. Awkward but civil.
We were a "gang" so to speak so there was no way that we wouldn't see one another or run into one another. Sadly the "gang" took sides. The two of the them were left on the curb.
For some reason that made me feel badly but yet it made things easier for me to still see my friends and not see them. But my friends kept wanting me to be mean.
How can you talk to him? How can you be so civil and split things up evenly?
You lost your job a few weeks ago - take all his money! C'mon make him pay they would say.
I remember an evening when we sat in his home separating our things.
We had been together from age 17 to age 27. My whole adult life really.
We sat on the living room floor and started separating our albums. His pile and mine.
I have to tell you how much we laughed because this was the hardest part of the splitting of things. How damn silly.
"I want the History of Eric Clapton", I said.
He responded with, " it was a gift from you to me so I should be able to keep it."
We compromised on a lot of our albums by making cassettes of albums for the other person.
How absolutely silly don't you think? Now I can't play the albums or the cassettes.
This we argued over, how ridiculous. We had over 400 albums between us and he thought he couldn't go on without James Gang or The Doors.
Thankfully he hated Billy Joel so I got them all. None of which I can even play now.
I want to believe that if I had children and when I went through my divorce I would have handled my divorce and the communication with my ex the same way that I did with or without children. I know it would have been miserable at first. Down right miserable!
But as the years went on it would have become easier.
Besides what kind of message would I be sending my children if I acted the way my friends thought one should act. It just isn't me or where I feel comfortable. I don't want to be friends with him per se but I didn't want to be enemies either. I also don't want to say anything bad about my ex to my children because it is their father. This would be hard enough on them they don't need to take sides but to know they are loved and they can love both parents the same as always. This is a scary time and they need to know that while life for them is changing their parents love for them will never change. Who are the adults here anyway?
Two years after the divorce my new boss and I are going to go to some guy's house that she just met. He asked her to stop by because he said he was having a few friends from work over to his home. She asked me to go with her. I walked into the small party and saw "him" playing pool.
Oh geez. I panicked. I hadn't seen him in 2 years. He looked up and saw me too and I saw the panic in his eyes. I was introduced to the man hosting this get together and my boss's date.
He introduced me to the man he was playing pool with. I shook his hand.
We smiled and I said," nice to see you again."
My boss, Heidi, said, "do you know one another?"
My ex looked paniked. I said, "yes we went to high school together." without missing a beat.
Hey it was the truth we did go to school together.
They nodded and nothing else was said. I stayed on the other side of the room most of the night.
As the night went on I was behind the bar making my self a drink.
The host asked if I needed anything because he saw me looking around.
I said, "Do you have any limes?"
I was making myself a gin and tonic. He got me a lime and a knife.
My ex said, "Oh don't give her a knife without a band-aid."
We both had a big laugh like something is between us.
Yes this was an ongoing joke when we were together. Everyone else laughed but had no idea.
As Heidi and I were driving home she asked me about this guy I knew from high school.
She thought he seemed nice. I said he is a nice guy.
I told her he was my ex-husband. She squealed, WHAT? and pulled over.
I explained that if I had said that it would have made everyone uncomfortable.
I would have been uncomfortable because everyone would be looking to see how we interacted or if we even did interact. I didn't want that.
She said, "but you guys were so nice to one another"
I said, "why not?" She looked at me like I had a 3rd eye while we discussed this.
The conversation was making me squirm and this is why I didn't say anything I told her.
So that brings me to Rick's daughters wedding. WHAT you say?
Rick's wife is mean to me. Rick's wife is mean to his daughter if she says nice things or does nice things to or for her father. Rick's Ex will still not even utter a word in his direction.
I met his ex wife 10 years after they had been divorced so there is no reason to be mean to me. None. But she is petty. At his daughters graduation his ex's new husband asked us to come to the house for the graduation and she yelled, "Oh no they can't come to my home."
When I was introduced to her at the high school at the graduation I extended my hand and said, "Hi XYZ it is nice to finally meet you." She turned her head as my head just hung there.
We have never ever had the opportunity to spend any time with his daughter at any important event or activity or sport in this girls lifetime. We went to one sporting event and were asked to leave once the ex made a loud obnoxioius roar about us watching his daughters game.
We were always asked to stay away. She accepted our money. She accepted the tuition for college. She filled her daughters head with lies. Lies I had to say nothing about because my husband said that we had to take the high road. That if we told her that her mother was a liar we were stooping to her mothers level. That we would be making his daughter hear bad things about her mom and that she shouldn't have to pick sides. He really thought she would see the real issues when she grew up. Hmmm....never happened sadly.
So now we have a wedding. I imagine we will be asked for a lot of money for said wedding.
I imagine we will not be invited to anything to do with the wedding, if even the wedding unless his daughter speaks up. If we can actually go to the wedding we will be treated like outsiders. Except our money. I have to say this makes me angry.
Rick and his daughter don't have a great relationship. He has tried and I see the pain he goes through. But there comes a point that as a 31 almost 32 year old she has to see the truth. I have told her things that Rick would kill me for. But she needed to know. I never bad mouth her mother, for heaven's sake it's her mother and I am evil step mommy. I get that.
But telling a 7 year old that your father killed your dog is a horrific statement.
He lived 3 hrs away and he had no access to the dog. Besides being a dog lover that would never ever have happened. The mom wanted to get rid of the dog and why not blame that evil father of yours. She really thought he did that until she was 20 yrs old.
There are a lot of awlful stories like this.
So why can't people just put it all aside? I honestly just don't understand that.
If you love your child why the hell would you do this to your kid?
Why did she have to damage her kids relationship with her father?
Does that make her feel good that she hurt her daughter?
Does she get some kind of pleasure from having her daughter always say that she missed having her father in her life more? She stopped that from happening. She forbid it.
I understand the pain. I understand the uncomfortable part when in their company.
But you loved one another once. More importantly you say you love your child.
You married at age 20 and were too damn young and grew apart.
No one was to blame here. Grow up and move on.
Do what is best for you and your child for once. Put someone's life and well being ahead of your own. Isn't that what parents do?
I hope his daughter elopes. This is going to be too much to bear if we are completely ostrized.
I should say, too much for Rick to bear. I'm used to it.
No one will even talk to me and I have nothing to do with any of this.
It's been 30 years - what is the Statute of Limitations here?
When will she (the ex) grow up? She is 56 now. C'mon it's time.
Hurting her daughter is a crime to me that mothers or fathers just shouldn't be allowed to commit.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Tuesday Random Thoughts
**A thing that has reared it's ugly head for me is a saying I have been hearing a great deal.
Yesterday I had too many customers call us and say "you people" to me.
I had a man call and after I said hello and how may I help you he said the following:
Hey do you people do this?
Do you people come to my city?
I had a lot of those "you people" over the last month.
Is it just me or do you say that when you call someone for service?
I wouldn't think of saying that when I called a person to come fix my fireplace, "Hey do you people fix fireplaces?
First of all I called a company who's website says they do.
Second of all it's rude to me to say, "you people"
I ask everyone who calls where they heard of us.
I do this for marketing reasons.What advertising is paying off?
Was it a referral? (we have a referral program for vendors as well as customers)
So when all of the people yesterday told me they were on our website I really wondered why they would ask if "you people" do this when they just saw that we did.
It just bugs me! Just add it to my ever growing list of pet peeves.
**Rick's daughter got engaged this weekend.
Yikes a wedding! I am trying not to think about it.
Hopefully it's a very long engagement.
**Aside from the too few quips from Ricky Gervais the Golden Globes were a snooze fest.
I want more snarky Ricky and less what are you wearing? Less of the winners thanking their God and their kids. It's a professional environment. Thank your personal family and your personal God alone or at home. At work thank those that helped you achieve this win. End of story - go sit down.
**I must say the childish head bands of the beautiful Michelle Williams and Charlize Theron were horrific as well as the Golden Globes. Seriously they looked like those head bands they put on babies. What the hell were they thinking? Someone told them this was hip and they just did it? No, no, no.
**We pay an enormous amount of money monthly to take credit cards.
It works like this if you aren't aware.
The bank charges an activation fee.
They also charge a monthly fee just to be able to offer credit cards to our customers.
They charge fees for each credit card you use.
They vary. If the card gets you points it takes more money from me.
If a card is a debit card there is a different fee. Then there are all the fees the credit card company charges the bank that I pay. American Express is outrageous. If the bill is $500 American Express gets almost $100. So we dropped Amex. It's illegal to charge more if you take a credit card so can't make up that money just because I let you use your card.
And if you get points on your American Express I barely get my money for the damn job.
We are billed at the end of each month for this service of taking credit cards.
It can vary from $300 a month to 4 times that amount.
The more our customers use credit cards the more they take from us. I hate it.
I prefer customers give us checks but we can't say that of course.
It is a necessary evil. The worst part?
When a customer uses a credit card we don't get the money for a couple of days either.
It goes from the card service to the bank and then to us.
A great day is only waiting 24 hours for the money.
Amex took up to 5 days. The others were usually up to 48 hrs and we got our money.
But now there is something new to replace that old banking system.
Oh how I am loving this so far.
I was watching a special that Larry King had on CNN with a group of celebrities over dinner and they all just talked about different topics. The man who invented Twitter was talking about his newest thing called The Square. You put this little square on your IPhone or Android phone or your IPad. You can swipe credit cards and link it to your bank and no fees except one. The Square is small and fits in the middle of your palm small.
I got online immediately to check this out. It seemed too good to be true.
I continued to do research for a week.
While I still believed it had to be too good to be true but I had to try.
I signed the company up and we received the Square.
There is no activation fee, there is no monthly fee, there are no special fees from the banks or from the card companies. One fee of 2.75% of each sale. That is all we pay.
While that seems high when some of mine were 1.35 and more by the time you add up all the other fees it wasn't higher at all. It was all an illusion.
Trust me we did the math every which way we could.
I have spent the last month going over the numbers. It is working!
I get the money in 24 hrs.
They tell you 24 - 48 hrs to protect themselves I suppose.
They take the money from you off the deposit immediately.
I like that because there is no surprise at the end of the month of what your fee will be debited from your account. That is wonderful!
This is a huge savings every month from our bottom line.
Before we got this when a customer wanted to use a credit card they would give it to Rick.
He would call the office. I would input this into the computer and it would send them an email confirmation receipt. Rick would also give them an invoice as well.
We have now eliminated the need for Rick or a technician to call the office.
This tiny little thing attaches to Rick's phone.
When he is done with a job he can now take their card, swipe it in his phone and a receipt is sent to their email and he's done.
Saves time and money!!
When they sell stock I will be running to invest in this puppy.
You should too.
We have told several contractors who have all signed up.
That means we have all left banks.
No one is crying here about that!
Yesterday I had too many customers call us and say "you people" to me.
I had a man call and after I said hello and how may I help you he said the following:
Hey do you people do this?
Do you people come to my city?
I had a lot of those "you people" over the last month.
Is it just me or do you say that when you call someone for service?
I wouldn't think of saying that when I called a person to come fix my fireplace, "Hey do you people fix fireplaces?
First of all I called a company who's website says they do.
Second of all it's rude to me to say, "you people"
I ask everyone who calls where they heard of us.
I do this for marketing reasons.What advertising is paying off?
Was it a referral? (we have a referral program for vendors as well as customers)
So when all of the people yesterday told me they were on our website I really wondered why they would ask if "you people" do this when they just saw that we did.
It just bugs me! Just add it to my ever growing list of pet peeves.
**Rick's daughter got engaged this weekend.
Yikes a wedding! I am trying not to think about it.
Hopefully it's a very long engagement.
**Aside from the too few quips from Ricky Gervais the Golden Globes were a snooze fest.
I want more snarky Ricky and less what are you wearing? Less of the winners thanking their God and their kids. It's a professional environment. Thank your personal family and your personal God alone or at home. At work thank those that helped you achieve this win. End of story - go sit down.
**I must say the childish head bands of the beautiful Michelle Williams and Charlize Theron were horrific as well as the Golden Globes. Seriously they looked like those head bands they put on babies. What the hell were they thinking? Someone told them this was hip and they just did it? No, no, no.
**We pay an enormous amount of money monthly to take credit cards.
It works like this if you aren't aware.
The bank charges an activation fee.
They also charge a monthly fee just to be able to offer credit cards to our customers.
They charge fees for each credit card you use.
They vary. If the card gets you points it takes more money from me.
If a card is a debit card there is a different fee. Then there are all the fees the credit card company charges the bank that I pay. American Express is outrageous. If the bill is $500 American Express gets almost $100. So we dropped Amex. It's illegal to charge more if you take a credit card so can't make up that money just because I let you use your card.
And if you get points on your American Express I barely get my money for the damn job.
We are billed at the end of each month for this service of taking credit cards.
It can vary from $300 a month to 4 times that amount.
The more our customers use credit cards the more they take from us. I hate it.
I prefer customers give us checks but we can't say that of course.
It is a necessary evil. The worst part?
When a customer uses a credit card we don't get the money for a couple of days either.
It goes from the card service to the bank and then to us.
A great day is only waiting 24 hours for the money.
Amex took up to 5 days. The others were usually up to 48 hrs and we got our money.
But now there is something new to replace that old banking system.
Oh how I am loving this so far.
I was watching a special that Larry King had on CNN with a group of celebrities over dinner and they all just talked about different topics. The man who invented Twitter was talking about his newest thing called The Square. You put this little square on your IPhone or Android phone or your IPad. You can swipe credit cards and link it to your bank and no fees except one. The Square is small and fits in the middle of your palm small.
I got online immediately to check this out. It seemed too good to be true.
I continued to do research for a week.
While I still believed it had to be too good to be true but I had to try.
I signed the company up and we received the Square.
There is no activation fee, there is no monthly fee, there are no special fees from the banks or from the card companies. One fee of 2.75% of each sale. That is all we pay.
While that seems high when some of mine were 1.35 and more by the time you add up all the other fees it wasn't higher at all. It was all an illusion.
Trust me we did the math every which way we could.
I have spent the last month going over the numbers. It is working!
I get the money in 24 hrs.
They tell you 24 - 48 hrs to protect themselves I suppose.
They take the money from you off the deposit immediately.
I like that because there is no surprise at the end of the month of what your fee will be debited from your account. That is wonderful!
This is a huge savings every month from our bottom line.
Before we got this when a customer wanted to use a credit card they would give it to Rick.
He would call the office. I would input this into the computer and it would send them an email confirmation receipt. Rick would also give them an invoice as well.
We have now eliminated the need for Rick or a technician to call the office.
This tiny little thing attaches to Rick's phone.
When he is done with a job he can now take their card, swipe it in his phone and a receipt is sent to their email and he's done.
Saves time and money!!
When they sell stock I will be running to invest in this puppy.
You should too.
We have told several contractors who have all signed up.
That means we have all left banks.
No one is crying here about that!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Wrapping Up My Week
Do you remember when I asked all of you when a seal became a symbol of Christmas?
I finally took a photo one evening while Rick and I walked around the neighborhood with Izzy.
I kept forgetting to show you all so here it is.
I still don't understand how this circus seal with a ball on his nose has anything to do with the holiday.
When my niece was little she would say a certain persons behavior embarrassed her.
I would always tell her that no one can embarrass you unless you let them, they are embarrassing themselves.
No one can make you feel guilty, ugly or anything else unless you give them power to do it to you.
I didn't take my own advice this week.
I sure was a stupid woman this week......where did I go this week?
Have any of you seen this website?
I pay a lot to color my hair.
When people ask me, "What color is your real hair Peg?" My answer would be white.
I am too young for white just yet in my mind. So I color and highlight.
Pain in the ass, high maintenance and expensive.
I have been known to color it myself and we can all remember how the last time I did that I ended up looking like Elvira. Not a good look for me....or Elvira for that matter.
Had to get it fixed after that so not much money saving there.
I believe I will be giving this a chance. What have I got to lose $4.95? Pfff.
I then would only need to get a couple of highlights if I wanted. Serious money would be saved.
I like the idea.
Over the last 5 weeks or so I have been feeling badly health wise.
I have shared that I have Hypothyroidism (Hashimoto's) I take a couple pills and I normally feel fine. But symptoms have raised their ugly little heads and I also don't feel so great.
Yesterday I ate well, no bad carbs, only protein, veggies. Light meals.
I weight myself every morning.
This morning got on the scale and I gained 3lbs overnight. Yea. Not good.
My hair has been falling out like crazy, it has become very dry and dull.
I am getting rashes on me again and my nails are splitting vertically and that is painful.
The thickness feeling in my neck is back and the list goes on and on. It's not fun.
So I need to go back to the doctor and see what is happening. I used to be more upset with the weight issue of this damn disease but after feeling so good for so long I now would prefer just feeling good. This isn't fun. Autoimmune Diseases just suck.
I see my doctor on the 18th so I am hoping we get this turned around before I gain all the weight back I just lost.
In the past I have shared with you that my crazy little dog loves stuffed animals.
Izzy will surgically remove their eyes, nose and mouth if it is buttons or thread only.
Then she will play with them for years.
Here she is with Tigger on the patio sunning herself. Notice Tiggers eyes and face are gone.
Poor Tigger is blind. But she can't play with them if they still have a face.
This cracks me up.
No matter the stuffed animal she does this. I would so like to know why she does this or why their faces bother her so.
I made homemade tomato soup again this week. I got the recipe from The Chew.
My goodness this is great soup. Rick is addicted and asks for it all the time.
So this time I made a double batch so I could freeze some.
Earlier in the week we each had a cup of this soup with a little salad for dinner.
Well let me rephrase....Rick had 2 cups and then he kept going into the container on the counter I had put this in so that I could freeze it. He then suggested I not freeze it for awhile.
It'll keep until the weekend he said.
You all know that I went out on Wednesday night and he was to fend for himself for dinner.
While I had a very bad greek salad he ate the rest of that damn soup!!
The equivalent of 2 cans of soup would be my guess.
So unless I make more there will be none for this cold weekend we have approaching.
I hate when he does that but thrilled he likes it so much.
I wish I could just open a can of soup like he can but they have the dreaded gluten.
This weekend we are going to get winter weather and high winds.
I plan to settle in for the weekend and stay warm.
See ya'll on Monday.
I finally took a photo one evening while Rick and I walked around the neighborhood with Izzy.
I kept forgetting to show you all so here it is.
I still don't understand how this circus seal with a ball on his nose has anything to do with the holiday.
When my niece was little she would say a certain persons behavior embarrassed her.
I would always tell her that no one can embarrass you unless you let them, they are embarrassing themselves.
No one can make you feel guilty, ugly or anything else unless you give them power to do it to you.
I didn't take my own advice this week.
I sure was a stupid woman this week......where did I go this week?
Have any of you seen this website?
I pay a lot to color my hair.
When people ask me, "What color is your real hair Peg?" My answer would be white.
I am too young for white just yet in my mind. So I color and highlight.
Pain in the ass, high maintenance and expensive.
I have been known to color it myself and we can all remember how the last time I did that I ended up looking like Elvira. Not a good look for me....or Elvira for that matter.
Had to get it fixed after that so not much money saving there.
I believe I will be giving this a chance. What have I got to lose $4.95? Pfff.
I then would only need to get a couple of highlights if I wanted. Serious money would be saved.
I like the idea.
Over the last 5 weeks or so I have been feeling badly health wise.
I have shared that I have Hypothyroidism (Hashimoto's) I take a couple pills and I normally feel fine. But symptoms have raised their ugly little heads and I also don't feel so great.
Yesterday I ate well, no bad carbs, only protein, veggies. Light meals.
I weight myself every morning.
This morning got on the scale and I gained 3lbs overnight. Yea. Not good.
My hair has been falling out like crazy, it has become very dry and dull.
I am getting rashes on me again and my nails are splitting vertically and that is painful.
The thickness feeling in my neck is back and the list goes on and on. It's not fun.
So I need to go back to the doctor and see what is happening. I used to be more upset with the weight issue of this damn disease but after feeling so good for so long I now would prefer just feeling good. This isn't fun. Autoimmune Diseases just suck.
I see my doctor on the 18th so I am hoping we get this turned around before I gain all the weight back I just lost.
In the past I have shared with you that my crazy little dog loves stuffed animals.
Izzy will surgically remove their eyes, nose and mouth if it is buttons or thread only.
Then she will play with them for years.
Here she is with Tigger on the patio sunning herself. Notice Tiggers eyes and face are gone.
Poor Tigger is blind. But she can't play with them if they still have a face.
This cracks me up.
No matter the stuffed animal she does this. I would so like to know why she does this or why their faces bother her so.
My goodness this is great soup. Rick is addicted and asks for it all the time.
So this time I made a double batch so I could freeze some.
Earlier in the week we each had a cup of this soup with a little salad for dinner.
Well let me rephrase....Rick had 2 cups and then he kept going into the container on the counter I had put this in so that I could freeze it. He then suggested I not freeze it for awhile.
It'll keep until the weekend he said.
You all know that I went out on Wednesday night and he was to fend for himself for dinner.
While I had a very bad greek salad he ate the rest of that damn soup!!
The equivalent of 2 cans of soup would be my guess.
So unless I make more there will be none for this cold weekend we have approaching.
I hate when he does that but thrilled he likes it so much.
I wish I could just open a can of soup like he can but they have the dreaded gluten.
This weekend we are going to get winter weather and high winds.
I plan to settle in for the weekend and stay warm.
See ya'll on Monday.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
He Asked Three Times
"So how did he ask you to marry him?" She asked over martini's.
I laughed and said that it wasn't a grand romantic gesture to most but it was to me because he stopped eating.
She laughed because she knows that is a big deal with Rick.
She impatiently said, "Well damn it share!"
"All three times? Or just the last one where I accepted?
All three times.
I had moved to Ohio while he was in PA. We were not even dating, just friends. (1987)
I was staying in a hotel until my apartment was ready.
My things were all in storage.
I was to be in temporary housing for only 4 weeks. I had clothes for 4 weeks.
It was now 8 weeks and the season was changing. I needed a coat, all in storage.
You can seriously get sick of wearing the same clothes and since I hate shopping I didn't like the idea of having to go shop for more.
I was whining to a client about getting into my home when she offered me her big ass mega home while she and her family went to Europe. I excitedly accepted.
I was now in a beautiful home overlooking Lake Erie.
I could buy food and eat a nice warm meal at a real home.
Not mine but better than my hotel or sitting alone at a restaurant.
One evening while on the phone talking to Rick I told him about this great home.
I laughed and said that it wasn't a grand romantic gesture to most but it was to me because he stopped eating.
She laughed because she knows that is a big deal with Rick.
She impatiently said, "Well damn it share!"
"All three times? Or just the last one where I accepted?
All three times.
I had moved to Ohio while he was in PA. We were not even dating, just friends. (1987)
I was staying in a hotel until my apartment was ready.
My things were all in storage.
I was to be in temporary housing for only 4 weeks. I had clothes for 4 weeks.
It was now 8 weeks and the season was changing. I needed a coat, all in storage.
You can seriously get sick of wearing the same clothes and since I hate shopping I didn't like the idea of having to go shop for more.
I was whining to a client about getting into my home when she offered me her big ass mega home while she and her family went to Europe. I excitedly accepted.
I was now in a beautiful home overlooking Lake Erie.
I could buy food and eat a nice warm meal at a real home.
Not mine but better than my hotel or sitting alone at a restaurant.
One evening while on the phone talking to Rick I told him about this great home.
I asked if he had plans for the weekend maybe he could come up to visit.
Just 90 minutes away.
He was dating one of his bimbo du jours at the time.
Just 90 minutes away.
He was dating one of his bimbo du jours at the time.
I was not dating anyone.
He said he'd come to visit and we made plans to go to these islands and tour etc.
Play tourist in my new town type of thing.
We started at the island winery and did a tour and tastings.
We then went to a restaurant bar for a late lunch on the island.
The place was packed and a band was playing in the middle of th³e afternoon.
It was like it was 10p at night. People dancing and the bar was hopping.
We couldn't get a table so we bellied up to the bar.
Ordered a couple of burgers and a couple of drinks.
He said he'd come to visit and we made plans to go to these islands and tour etc.
Play tourist in my new town type of thing.
We started at the island winery and did a tour and tastings.
We then went to a restaurant bar for a late lunch on the island.
The place was packed and a band was playing in the middle of th³e afternoon.
It was like it was 10p at night. People dancing and the bar was hopping.
We couldn't get a table so we bellied up to the bar.
Ordered a couple of burgers and a couple of drinks.
It was quite a festive place.
The couple next to us asked us how long we had been married.
Married? We aren't even dating!
Rick immediately said as he grabbed my hand, "Oh this is our honeymoon"
He gave me a wink. I went with it.
They bought us a round of drinks. Now I felt bad. Italian catholic guilt rearing it's head. Oh but he was having fun.
The couple told the bartender we were here on our honeymoon. More free drinks.
This went on for some time. I was a bit panicked.
I was not feeling comfortable with this but ole Mr. Liar Pants is having a field day.
He even told the band who played a song we both liked.
For heaven's sake now we have to dance? We don't even date people!
Out on the dance floor, I am mortified and say to Rick that we can't possibly continue to mess with people like this, it's mean. He laughs and says there is no harm in it just go with it.
We did end up having a very fun day touring. We rented mopeds and a couple who had been at the bar told the man at the rental moped place that we were on our honeymoon. Yes, we got a discount. I felt awful but Mr. Liar Liar Pants on Fire is finding this a hoot. My Grandmothers voice is in my head saying, "Going to hell in a handbasket Peggy"
We ended our day getting back on the ferry heading back to the mainland.
We drove back to my house sitting home and made ourselves dinner.
As we sat down overlooking the beautiful sunset over the lake Rick said, "We should get married someday"
I laughed, "We better tell the people we date then don't you think?"
He said, "I'm serious."
"We've never dated Richard and I wouldn't date you so marriage is out of the question. Besides you are so not marrying material!"
Nonchalantly he says, "Well I gave it a good try." as we both laugh.
A few years later one evening he called me after work as he was prone to do daily.
The couple next to us asked us how long we had been married.
Married? We aren't even dating!
Rick immediately said as he grabbed my hand, "Oh this is our honeymoon"
He gave me a wink. I went with it.
They bought us a round of drinks. Now I felt bad. Italian catholic guilt rearing it's head. Oh but he was having fun.
The couple told the bartender we were here on our honeymoon. More free drinks.
This went on for some time. I was a bit panicked.
I was not feeling comfortable with this but ole Mr. Liar Pants is having a field day.
He even told the band who played a song we both liked.
For heaven's sake now we have to dance? We don't even date people!
Out on the dance floor, I am mortified and say to Rick that we can't possibly continue to mess with people like this, it's mean. He laughs and says there is no harm in it just go with it.
We did end up having a very fun day touring. We rented mopeds and a couple who had been at the bar told the man at the rental moped place that we were on our honeymoon. Yes, we got a discount. I felt awful but Mr. Liar Liar Pants on Fire is finding this a hoot. My Grandmothers voice is in my head saying, "Going to hell in a handbasket Peggy"
We ended our day getting back on the ferry heading back to the mainland.
We drove back to my house sitting home and made ourselves dinner.
As we sat down overlooking the beautiful sunset over the lake Rick said, "We should get married someday"
I laughed, "We better tell the people we date then don't you think?"
He said, "I'm serious."
"We've never dated Richard and I wouldn't date you so marriage is out of the question. Besides you are so not marrying material!"
Nonchalantly he says, "Well I gave it a good try." as we both laugh.
A few years later one evening he called me after work as he was prone to do daily.
He asked if I was doing anything with Jon that weekend.
Jon was a firefighter I dated at the time.
I said, no Jon has to work and besides I was thinking of going home to visit my family.
Rick asked if I wanted to go home with him instead. Hey, anything sounded more fun to me than a visit to my family's.
He really didn't want to go and he said the road trip would be much more fun if I came with him.
I said, "Alright I have nothing else to do as long as your girlfriend won't get all pissy again. I don't need the grief"
" No, I broke up with her she was getting too serious."
"Okay then a road trip it is"
We had a ball.
I saw where he grew up and seriously it was in the middle of nowhere and I found it all so interesting. His mom was sick at the time and yet she managed to make us spaghetti and meatballs. (homemade of course) strawberry shortcake and homemade whipped cream etc.
After dinner and dishes, Rick and I sat with his mom for a while.
When she went to lay down we told her we were going down to the Country Tavern to see some old buddies of Ricks. We had a good time there. The beers were less than $1 and the people were friendly and kept calling him Ricky or little Ricky. ( o.k. he is ricky to me but at this time i had never heard him called this) The woman in the kitchen came out to hug him. Apparently, she was his church choir leader. She kept calling him Little Ricky. She came up to his nipples. Yep, little Ricky at 6'2" built like a big ole football player. That was funny to me.
It was fun to see this side of him.
On the way home at 2am we were starving.
But in a town of fewer than 2,000 people, there are no Mickey D's or diners opened late.
When we got into his house we grabbed forks and stood in front of the open fridge eating cold meatballs and spaghetti. As he held the big bowl of food and we stood there eating in front of the light of the fridge I said, "I really have to do something nice when I get home for your mom"
He had a big ole smirk on his face and said, "Like marry her son?" Without missing a beat I said,
"Oh no, I had more in mind of a thank you card and some flowers"
We both burst into laughter!
He said, "You know someday you are going to say yes to me."
I gave a hearty laugh.
Fast forward to 1993 we are now living together.
We were at dinner and I was bitching about taxes.
I had just done the payroll that day and I was complaining about how unfair it is that married people have so fewer taxes taken out of their pay compared to us who just live together.
I bitched about this every time I did payroll.
This was not a new thing for Rick to listen to I'm sorry to say.
Rick never even looked up from his food and said, "Well then just marry me."
"Yep, that's a reason to get married Bucko, to save on our taxes. No thank you."
He put down his fork and grabbed my hand and he looked so serious it made me panic.
He said as his eyes welled up with tears, "I am serious, will you marry me, Margaret?"
I knew he was serious, he put his fork down and stopped eating for heaven's sake!
This time I said Yes!
The third time was a charm.
Jon was a firefighter I dated at the time.
I said, no Jon has to work and besides I was thinking of going home to visit my family.
Rick asked if I wanted to go home with him instead. Hey, anything sounded more fun to me than a visit to my family's.
He really didn't want to go and he said the road trip would be much more fun if I came with him.
I said, "Alright I have nothing else to do as long as your girlfriend won't get all pissy again. I don't need the grief"
" No, I broke up with her she was getting too serious."
"Okay then a road trip it is"
We had a ball.
I saw where he grew up and seriously it was in the middle of nowhere and I found it all so interesting. His mom was sick at the time and yet she managed to make us spaghetti and meatballs. (homemade of course) strawberry shortcake and homemade whipped cream etc.
After dinner and dishes, Rick and I sat with his mom for a while.
When she went to lay down we told her we were going down to the Country Tavern to see some old buddies of Ricks. We had a good time there. The beers were less than $1 and the people were friendly and kept calling him Ricky or little Ricky. ( o.k. he is ricky to me but at this time i had never heard him called this) The woman in the kitchen came out to hug him. Apparently, she was his church choir leader. She kept calling him Little Ricky. She came up to his nipples. Yep, little Ricky at 6'2" built like a big ole football player. That was funny to me.
It was fun to see this side of him.
On the way home at 2am we were starving.
But in a town of fewer than 2,000 people, there are no Mickey D's or diners opened late.
When we got into his house we grabbed forks and stood in front of the open fridge eating cold meatballs and spaghetti. As he held the big bowl of food and we stood there eating in front of the light of the fridge I said, "I really have to do something nice when I get home for your mom"
He had a big ole smirk on his face and said, "Like marry her son?" Without missing a beat I said,
"Oh no, I had more in mind of a thank you card and some flowers"
We both burst into laughter!
He said, "You know someday you are going to say yes to me."
I gave a hearty laugh.
Fast forward to 1993 we are now living together.
We were at dinner and I was bitching about taxes.
I had just done the payroll that day and I was complaining about how unfair it is that married people have so fewer taxes taken out of their pay compared to us who just live together.
I bitched about this every time I did payroll.
This was not a new thing for Rick to listen to I'm sorry to say.
Rick never even looked up from his food and said, "Well then just marry me."
"Yep, that's a reason to get married Bucko, to save on our taxes. No thank you."
He put down his fork and grabbed my hand and he looked so serious it made me panic.
He said as his eyes welled up with tears, "I am serious, will you marry me, Margaret?"
I knew he was serious, he put his fork down and stopped eating for heaven's sake!
This time I said Yes!
The third time was a charm.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
All Kinds of Wrong.
Did you hear it?
Did you see it?
She just couldn't stay away and start a new life.
She just had to bring attention to herself.
All this attention she just craves.
This could have been a great time to reevaluate her life and begin to do something good with it.
Perhaps when one is so delusional about themselves and a pathological liar nothing ever changes.
Casey Anthony has a new video diary for us.
She is putting them out there for all to see.
She will continue to do so she says to get her story out.
She now has a blonde bob and black glasses.
Why change your look when you continue to put yourself out there?
What the hell is the point of that?
Who does she think she is fooling?
She will never tell the real story. It will just be lie after lie.
I sincerely hope that people will not pay her in anyway to listen to her or to put her on television.
Yesterday someone said to me when they saw her video that maybe she'll finally hang herself through her inability to shut the hell up. One can only hope, but I for one don't see justice happening here.
Who knows. I just wish she and Trump would go far far far away.
But they are like annoying relentless little nats.
I keep swatting and they just keep coming back.
Did you see it?
She just couldn't stay away and start a new life.
She just had to bring attention to herself.
All this attention she just craves.
This could have been a great time to reevaluate her life and begin to do something good with it.
Perhaps when one is so delusional about themselves and a pathological liar nothing ever changes.
Casey Anthony has a new video diary for us.
She is putting them out there for all to see.
She will continue to do so she says to get her story out.
She now has a blonde bob and black glasses.
Why change your look when you continue to put yourself out there?
What the hell is the point of that?
Who does she think she is fooling?
She will never tell the real story. It will just be lie after lie.
I sincerely hope that people will not pay her in anyway to listen to her or to put her on television.
Yesterday someone said to me when they saw her video that maybe she'll finally hang herself through her inability to shut the hell up. One can only hope, but I for one don't see justice happening here.
Who knows. I just wish she and Trump would go far far far away.
But they are like annoying relentless little nats.
I keep swatting and they just keep coming back.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Did you see Steven Sunday?
I have mentioned here before how much I enjoy Steven Tyler.
I read his autobiography and it was interesting and yet odd.
But I learned a great deal about him that I never knew.
Odd in the way of his tangents and his phrasing.
Not always easy to follow but that is how he talks all the time too.
That makes me sound pretty damn stupid that I can't keep up with an old drug addict doesn't it?
Steven was on OWN Sunday night and I really enjoyed the 2 hr interview with Oprah.
I don't always care for her interview style but I did enjoy the look into Steven's world.
No revelations if you read his book but interesting non the less.
I couldn't get my eyes off his feet at the very beginning.
He was walking so funny I found it completely distracting.
Yes this pic is of his feet - painted toenails and all.
I said to Rick, how the hell have we never noticed the way he walked before?
He looked to me like he had a club foot or just something very wrong with him.
I was glad they finally talked about it because I was so focused on his feet I was missing what was being said. Apparently he has had a lot of surgery on his feet and appears to be in constant pain. That can't be too great for an addict. The constant pain with out medication that is.
I was also surprised at his lake house. It was modest like mine.
(well, without the leopard sofa)
I expected this big ole rock star home on the water.
I realize he has one of those big ole rock star homes in LA but I just figured this one would be like that too. Wouldn't you?
Rick and I laughed when Oprah called him Nature Boy.
I have been calling Rick that for 20+ years now.
If it weren't for my love of Rick I surely wouldn't be living where I live.
I would be in the heart of a big city living a different life.
The suburbs are our compromise.
When I worked in Manhattan I lived here.
I would have preferred the other way around living in Manhattan and commuting here a few days a week for work. In all those years Rick came to NYC with me only once. He hated it.
He thinks the whole place smells like pee.
He only came because I asked him. It is so not his cup of tea.....It is so mine.
When Rick and I lived in Erie PA we would walk these nature trails at Presque Isle State Park.
The fall was our favorite. When there were lots of acorns or some such thing from nature on the ground he would tell me what the winter would be like. In the spring he would look at nature and tell me about the coming summer. He was never wrong and that would sleigh me.
Who needs the Farmers Almanac when I have Nature Boy?
With his guidance I knew when I needed to buy new boots.
See that is how a city girl uses her Nature Boy.
Rick looks at nature for all kinds of things and continues to tell me if we pay attention we can all see this stuff. Hell I don't even know what half the stuff is he is pointing to, picking up, talking about. I just nod my little head and smile. If he could just be in nature 24/7 he would be one happy man. It is surprising to me that he spent his life in the corporate world so far from nature.
Thankfully he doesn't spend all his time in nature because it gives him a very weird side affect.....he comes home horney.
If he worked in nature I would never have the time or energy for my blogger world. :-)
I read his autobiography and it was interesting and yet odd.
But I learned a great deal about him that I never knew.
Odd in the way of his tangents and his phrasing.
Not always easy to follow but that is how he talks all the time too.
That makes me sound pretty damn stupid that I can't keep up with an old drug addict doesn't it?
Steven was on OWN Sunday night and I really enjoyed the 2 hr interview with Oprah.
I don't always care for her interview style but I did enjoy the look into Steven's world.
No revelations if you read his book but interesting non the less.
I couldn't get my eyes off his feet at the very beginning.
He was walking so funny I found it completely distracting.
Yes this pic is of his feet - painted toenails and all.
He looked to me like he had a club foot or just something very wrong with him.
I was glad they finally talked about it because I was so focused on his feet I was missing what was being said. Apparently he has had a lot of surgery on his feet and appears to be in constant pain. That can't be too great for an addict. The constant pain with out medication that is.
I was also surprised at his lake house. It was modest like mine.
(well, without the leopard sofa)
I expected this big ole rock star home on the water.
I realize he has one of those big ole rock star homes in LA but I just figured this one would be like that too. Wouldn't you?
Rick and I laughed when Oprah called him Nature Boy.
I have been calling Rick that for 20+ years now.
If it weren't for my love of Rick I surely wouldn't be living where I live.
I would be in the heart of a big city living a different life.
The suburbs are our compromise.
When I worked in Manhattan I lived here.
I would have preferred the other way around living in Manhattan and commuting here a few days a week for work. In all those years Rick came to NYC with me only once. He hated it.
He thinks the whole place smells like pee.
He only came because I asked him. It is so not his cup of tea.....It is so mine.
When Rick and I lived in Erie PA we would walk these nature trails at Presque Isle State Park.
The fall was our favorite. When there were lots of acorns or some such thing from nature on the ground he would tell me what the winter would be like. In the spring he would look at nature and tell me about the coming summer. He was never wrong and that would sleigh me.
Who needs the Farmers Almanac when I have Nature Boy?
With his guidance I knew when I needed to buy new boots.
See that is how a city girl uses her Nature Boy.
Rick looks at nature for all kinds of things and continues to tell me if we pay attention we can all see this stuff. Hell I don't even know what half the stuff is he is pointing to, picking up, talking about. I just nod my little head and smile. If he could just be in nature 24/7 he would be one happy man. It is surprising to me that he spent his life in the corporate world so far from nature.
Thankfully he doesn't spend all his time in nature because it gives him a very weird side affect.....he comes home horney.
If he worked in nature I would never have the time or energy for my blogger world. :-)
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
How I Spent My Holiday Vacation.
The holidays are over and I for one am thankful.
I watched a lot of movies.
I purged a lot of my house.
I ate too much.
I drank more.
Neither Rick nor I ever have made resolutions in our lives.
But this year we made what we called a plan.
We begun by organizing our home.
To bring it back to the way it used to be.
Now I have shared with you in the past that Rick as well as friends tease me a great deal about me being so anal retentive.
I was teased because everything in my drawers in my kitchen or my bedroom were in such order.
I was teased when Rick would open the pantry and see all things lined up just so.
Rick thought it was so odd when the things on the shelf in the pantry were organized by what they were for. Ex: baking, cooking, etc. "How else to find things I would ask? You can't just put things on a shelf willy nilly Rick?
When they were all helter skelter of late he kept saying, "What is going on with my Margaret?"
I just didn't care. First time in my life....well past my teenage years that is.
My desk is beyond recognition. Where as I used to have all the pencils facing one way now you can barely find a pen or pencil. The holders are empty and papers are strewn about in piles.
Now I am not going to be on hoarders and I know people reading this who know me and have been to my house would say, "this is what you call a mess?"
To me it is.
It's uncomfortable and it's been done for the wrong reasons.
It didn't get like this because it is who I am.
It got like this because I am not myself.
This past year I was depressed.
Money woes like the rest of America.
Stress from business income being down 50%.
Stress from my bills being more than what was coming in.
Stress that my savings is gone.
Stress from having ruined my credit which was steller for my whole life.
Stress that my home is underwater.
Stress that my 2nd home is still trying to be sold because I can no longer afford a 2nd home.
Stress, stress, stress. It has felt like a slow drowning.
But you know what I have learned this year?
The stress is causing me more issues.
I learned I stress eat. Believe it or not I never knew that.
I have become very aware of this for the first time. So I guess that is a good thing.
I learned that I let things around me pile up and I try to ignore everyone and everything around me when I am stressed.
I learned that doing all of this doesn't make anything better so I must stop.
Drowning under food, drink or piles of paper or letting the laundry pile up doesn't make the issue go away. The issue is still there and I am adding to the pile of shit that is my stress.
So I am going to try to deal with this new life to the best of my ability.
I am a smart woman.
I know that eating chocolate, drinking and letting things pile up in my home do not make my life better.
In fact they only add to the stress.
I may not be able to control everything which is my nature to try to do.
But I can control this and I need to snap out of this funk.
It is the new normal for me and I have to accept that fact and make the best of it.
So I have purged papers, clothes, things and it continues.
Over this holiday I have cleaned cupboards, closets and even a laundry room.
My office is still 1/2 way complete. End of year papers that need saved for 1 year in a box.
Rick is doing his share with his closet and clothes.
We are having a big ole house purge.
I admit it feels good to get back to the way it used to be.
Have a few more things to do but it feels good.
Painted the kitchen, powder room and this Saturday the dining room.
My whole life I have been a successful goal setter and in control.
Time to get back to it!
I watched a lot of movies.
I purged a lot of my house.
I ate too much.
I drank more.
Neither Rick nor I ever have made resolutions in our lives.
But this year we made what we called a plan.
We begun by organizing our home.
To bring it back to the way it used to be.
Now I have shared with you in the past that Rick as well as friends tease me a great deal about me being so anal retentive.
I was teased because everything in my drawers in my kitchen or my bedroom were in such order.
I was teased when Rick would open the pantry and see all things lined up just so.
Rick thought it was so odd when the things on the shelf in the pantry were organized by what they were for. Ex: baking, cooking, etc. "How else to find things I would ask? You can't just put things on a shelf willy nilly Rick?
When they were all helter skelter of late he kept saying, "What is going on with my Margaret?"
I just didn't care. First time in my life....well past my teenage years that is.
My desk is beyond recognition. Where as I used to have all the pencils facing one way now you can barely find a pen or pencil. The holders are empty and papers are strewn about in piles.
Now I am not going to be on hoarders and I know people reading this who know me and have been to my house would say, "this is what you call a mess?"
To me it is.
It's uncomfortable and it's been done for the wrong reasons.
It didn't get like this because it is who I am.
It got like this because I am not myself.
This past year I was depressed.
Money woes like the rest of America.
Stress from business income being down 50%.
Stress from my bills being more than what was coming in.
Stress that my savings is gone.
Stress from having ruined my credit which was steller for my whole life.
Stress that my home is underwater.
Stress that my 2nd home is still trying to be sold because I can no longer afford a 2nd home.
Stress, stress, stress. It has felt like a slow drowning.
But you know what I have learned this year?
The stress is causing me more issues.
I learned I stress eat. Believe it or not I never knew that.
I have become very aware of this for the first time. So I guess that is a good thing.
I learned that I let things around me pile up and I try to ignore everyone and everything around me when I am stressed.
I learned that doing all of this doesn't make anything better so I must stop.
Drowning under food, drink or piles of paper or letting the laundry pile up doesn't make the issue go away. The issue is still there and I am adding to the pile of shit that is my stress.
So I am going to try to deal with this new life to the best of my ability.
I am a smart woman.
I know that eating chocolate, drinking and letting things pile up in my home do not make my life better.
In fact they only add to the stress.
I may not be able to control everything which is my nature to try to do.
But I can control this and I need to snap out of this funk.
It is the new normal for me and I have to accept that fact and make the best of it.
So I have purged papers, clothes, things and it continues.
Over this holiday I have cleaned cupboards, closets and even a laundry room.
My office is still 1/2 way complete. End of year papers that need saved for 1 year in a box.
Rick is doing his share with his closet and clothes.
We are having a big ole house purge.
I admit it feels good to get back to the way it used to be.
Have a few more things to do but it feels good.
Painted the kitchen, powder room and this Saturday the dining room.
My whole life I have been a successful goal setter and in control.
Time to get back to it!
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