Updates

Thursday, Feb 29, I am having an epidural steroid injection into my back to relieve pain. 

From the looks of things, I will eventually have to have surgery.

The Duke Spine Clinic is very well respected and people come from all over the country to go there so I at least have that going for me. Whoopie right? My back is a hot mess. I guess that means it matches my front. 😅

Some updates - 

Rick is driving. He drives to the gym M, W & F. He drove today to the gym, Lowes, and home. He does let me know he got there and he texts me when he leaves. I told him I knew it was a bit much but I still worry. I wanted him to know I wasn't treating him like a child as much as I am unable to let go.  He laughs and says it's no big deal he can humor me. I know he tolerates me in this and I do appreciate it. He has not however driven on the highway. That will probably change on Thursday since he has to drive me home from the spine clinic. 

He is working every day in his workshop. Still a bit cold out there. 

Epoxy is drying slower than he'd like and he gets cold. 

He can't spend 8 hrs on his feet out in the workshop as he could before. 

He does get tired easily now. But overall he is back to what he loves, his woodturning. He is working on a couple of gorgeous pieces and I can't wait until they are complete.

Now mind you, these 4 hrs in the workshop will beg for a nap. 

He was never a napping kind of guy. He was always a go, go, go kind of energy bunny before the stroke. But he has learned to love a good nap. 

As Jean pointed out the other day in a comment, that may never go away. 

I can live with that. Things could be far worse. But it was good to hear that from Jean because she has lived this. I don't often get to talk with others who have been in this situation. If you all recall the horrific women I met in the stroke support group. I never went back after the 2nd time of listening to these women berate their spouses with such venom. 

Because of my inability to bend without screaming in pain, I find it frustrating that I can't get the spring landscaping done.

I got a good start but then this damn back got worse. All of this does not bother Rick. We could be 8 feet high in weeds and brush and he wouldn't notice unless there was a wood log sticking out. He sees what he wants to see and that is no different than how he was before the stroke. 😂

I also have to rototill the garden. I wish he'd just rip it up. 

He knows he can't do that huge garden anymore but I guess I have to allow him to come to this idea slowly. He has stated he can't with a huge sigh. But tearing it up I think is too much for him just yet. 

This is such a man and his ego thing. 

Honestly, his ego frustrates me so. But I must tread lightly.

I know, I know, he was strong like bull and he isn't right now. 

It is tough for him to grasp this weakness so baby steps here. 

I get it but that doesn't mean it doesn't frustrate me. 

I don't share these feelings with him, I just get it all out here on my blog - lucky you.

He tells me that he will get there. He may, He may not. 

But I tell him he absolutely will get there!  

The good thing about this is that it really drives him. 

He goes to the gym to build his strength. Normally Rick wouldn't go to the gym without someone making him or him kicking and screaming. 

But he is doing it on his own and that is huge. 

So perhaps the whole ego thing is good in this case.

Sunday he thanked me for being such a good caregiver. That was sweet. 

But he wanted to make this big proclamation and I let him. He teared up.

He thinks he wouldn't be alive if not for me. I don't think that is the case, more like his team of doctors. But it was nice of him to thank me for what he called all my selfless hard work. He'd do the same for me. We are each other's cheerleaders. But it was nice to hear. 🧡

There are a lot of things about the man that I miss. But overall he is doing so well it's quite amazing to me that he has gotten to this point since May 22, 2023.

The other day he was at the gym and I went in to sign something as he checked in.

A woman dropped something and he grabbed it for her. 

She read his shirt that said, "I've had a Stroke, what's your excuse?"  

She asked, "When did you have a stroke if you don't mind me asking?"

He told her 9 months ago. 

She gasped & said, "WOW, you are doing REALLY well. I'm an ICU nurse...."  And off they went to chat. 

He was so proud that she thought he was doing well. I tell him that but I get it, hearing it from someone else makes you feel really good.  

He was beaming. He doesn't always think he is doing well, so this was good for him to get these accolades from a stranger.

So there you go with the updates on Stroke Boy as he calls himself.

He is doing well and well, I am falling apart before my eyes.  

Here are SOME of the findings from the MRI. 

I am only posting a portion of this so you can get a general idea of the mess we call my spine. It was a far longer email and discussions of therapies, and surgeries, but this is a general piece of info for clarification. I know some will ask and I can't describe it all that well but I do understand it. Make sense? Yeah I know, only to me. LOL

The MRI was finally released by XXXXX and I have reviewed it. The MRI shows significant degenerative changes throughout your low back with the most pertinent findings being a central to left disc protrusion at L1-2 causing moderate central canal narrowing. There is also a left-sided disc bulge, coupled with arthritic changes at the L4-5 level that appears to contact the left L5 nerve as it passes this level. These could both be contributing to the symptoms that you have been having though I believe the findings ar L4-5 are the most likely cause. If you are still having the same symptoms as when I saw you in clinic and based on these results, I would recommend left L5-S1 transforaminal epidural steroid injection. This is an x-ray-guided cortisone injection at the L5-S1 level to help calm the nerves to relieve your pain. Let me know if you would like to try the injection or if you have any questions or concerns.

I am not a person who loves to sit for long periods of time. Yet of late, that is all I can do. Sitting for some reason is a relief for me. The pain is far more manageable in a sitting position. But after these injections, I hope to be able to run around, paint, put together my garden table, do laundry, and just live!  From my mouth to my God's ear. 

🤞

My tulips are dying but nothing says spring like tulips.