MRI Day

When I wrote about Rick's inability to put dishes. pots and pans after unloading the dishwasher back where he got them or where they belong, Jean suggested leaving a list on the cabinets and drawers. That was very nice of her. And it was a GREAT suggestion for a normal person or one even with dementia. 

I read that to Rick. He chuckled. 

I said, "I did the same because I know you, you old fool you'd never read it or give a shit enough to read it."  

He said, "Well that is a bit harsh when you say it like that, but it's correct." 

all said while chuckling.

"I KNOW!"  

The man can build me a bed frame but needs help figuring out how to make a bed. The simple flat sheet boggles his mind when it comes to the corners. 

I have tried to show him this for 36 yrs  - 36 YEARS. He helps me make the bed because of my back issues but he can't do corners. It's ridiculous. I swear it's lazy but he insists it's not. Hmm hmm.

I had my first back surgery in 1985. It was a laminectomy. I ruptured a disc and they did this at L4/L5. I did this at a concert in Toronto that I think I wrote about here. I hit my tailbone and bounced twice on the concrete. 

I was in instant pain but made it home...barely.

I was in so much pain over the next month that my eyelashes fell out. Lovely. I worked at the ticket counter of an airline. Nice look. I also wore heels all day. I finally had the dreaded surgery I was putting off.  I think I also told you that the only time the nurses paid any attention to me was when pilots came to visit me and they were in uniform. Then they were all in my room to fluff pillows, asking if I needed anything, etc. Crazy nurses.

Then in 1997, I fell down a flight of stairs wearing socks. I now never wear socks in the house. Too slippery on rugs. So anyway another surgery this time a discectomy above the one before. L3/L4

All that fun surgery has given me spinal stenosis. You can google it. 

It is painful as hell. My left leg is heavy, feels like I've got 40lb weights on it. It is always numb and tingling. Big-time tingling/burning. Not nerve pain like sciatica, this is different. It's awful though. I can not stand straight upright, I drag my leg a bit for comfort. I can walk normally if need be as I try to do in public but it hurts like hell. 

I can not wear anything but a sneaker.  I don't normally wear sneakers all the time. So I am walking like I'm 90 or older. I am unable to dress well and I am in excruciating pain 24/7.

They gave me a prednisone pack for a week. So then I bloat up like a blowfish and feel awful from that. Moon face is oh so lovely.  It also won't allow slumber so I'm up all damn night in pain. I have gabapentin but it really does nothing more than allow me to sleep. Thank goodness. But no pain relief at all.  Not even for the nerve pain in my leg.

I was given a 2nd round of a prednisone pack only a higher dosage. I did not take it. I hate this feeling of prednisone. The side effects are horrific. But I was in such pain I finally took it after days and days of Rick telling me to. The vanity part is only a small part of the horrific side effects of this damn drug. But crying all the time wasn't a good look either. So I gave in.

I now have no calf bone one can see and my feet look like they belong to Fred Flinstone and not my bony, veiny feet. My bra is tight and my jeans are miserable. All from prednisone. I hate it. Right now my pain is down to a 8/9. If I have to walk a lot like today it's a 10. But it was far higher before the prednisone trust me! Nausea, constipation, inability to sleep. Fun, fun, fun.

Oh and the hunger issue. I could eat my arm off. I refuse to eat though because of how bloated and fat I feel but my God does it make you hungry. Think munchies on steroids, literally.

My MRI is on Wednesday at 8:15am. The doctor will get it by Thursday, read it, and call me for plans of action. I am praying for no surgery. I would like to try something less invasive first like injections. I think this is too far gone for an epidural.  They are the first line of attack. I think this is further along than that. Rick wants to drive me. He has driven alone twice now. 

(oh how I get nervous!)  I asked if I could drive to the MRI and he could drive me home. He was okay with that. 

So that has you up to speed with this nightmare of me being unable to bend, lay on my side, or my back, just be in Rick's ugly chair. I now have some love for this ugly thing. Who knew right?

We've had contractors here all week working on our bathroom. God willing I will have it done by Friday but doubtful. It would be nice to not have to lift our legs to get into a tub. Also to have our double vanity again instead of being crammed into this small hall bath. It's been since June  - and it's been a nightmare. But having them here all week doesn't allow me to rest. I wanted to just rest and sleep this afternoon so bad. I sat down at one point and I fell asleep in the chair. I slept for an hour and when I woke up Rick said they just left. They were still in the driveway. Oh, that was embarrassing. I mean if I could have gone to a bedroom to sleep that would be one thing but they passed me in a chair knocked out. Oh well. It is what it is. 

Off to an MRI tomorrow. I am claustrophobic so this should be a fun time. I am getting one that is more open like a CT scan so it shouldn't be too bad unless they are lying to me. 

Are we having fun yet?