Rick calls himself Stroke Boy. (or drooling man baby - I love that one)
I call him Rainman.
I have found that I can no longer say, "Rick do you want to do such and such?"
Or Rick, your appointment is at 10:30am.
If I do it's a constant, are we going now?
Are you ready?
Or he paces.
Yesterday he sat at the edge of his seat waiting for me.
I kept saying we have 3 hrs, 2 hrs, 1 hrs...ok, let's go for a ride first and stop at Walgreens.
The other nite he laughed out of nowhere.
I asked him, "What's so funny?"
"I finally understand why you call me Rainman. The circuits finally connected! That's funny Margaret" he said.
It is funny, albeit annoying at times, its funny and I'm glad we can find humor even in the midst of dealing with all this stroke shit.
I love it when the circuits are firing and connecting.
Who knew that would be a phrase in my vocabulary?
10 comments:
My best friend got a timer when her husband had his stroke. He was doing the same thing, only he was getting upset and agitated on top of it. So, a big timer, set for when they'd be leaving the house.
Ami, that timer idea was brilliant! I'll bet it would work with dementia patients who have the same issues with time as Rick and other stroke survivors. It's like they get obsessed with not missing an appointment that they can't think of anything else. With Don I developed a habit of making a detailed list of our plans the night before so it could be on the breakfast table for him. It helped a lot. It said things like:
9:00 shower
10:30 leave the house
11:00 appointment with doctor
12:30 lunch at Wendys
and so on through out the day
Living with a stroke survivor (and I assume other kinds of disabilities) is a process of trial and error until you figure out what works the best for the couple involved. Peg, six months from now you two will have your new normal mastered. You've both got the key ingredients to do that---a deep love for each other and a good sense of humor. One thing that helped me a lot in the early months was keeping a gratitude journal. I wouldn't let myself go to bed until I had written down five things. And many times one of those things was "I'm grateful this day is over." It helped me refocus from the negatives going on to the positives.
WOW, Misadventures of Widowhood said it correctly,
Living with a stroke survivor (and I assume other kinds of disabilities) is a process of trial and error until you figure out what works the best for the couple involved.
That was Mary Lou & me and that is you and Rick. Good job you two.
Cruisin Paul
Interesting - Rick's Rainman qualities as well as reading others' comments from experience.
My coworker, who cares for her father with similar issues, hung a whiteboard for him where she writes his daily schedule.
With Claudia and her Parkinsons, I think we could get a support group going here.
I hope the circuits firing and connecting becomes more of a regular thing. Keep fighting the good fight, Peg.
To most, Rick has his schedule in his phone. He tells me daily where we are going. So he knows the time but he's antsy. This morning, since he now knows he does this he made me laugh, he said, hey it's 2 hrs til we leave, are we readyyet? He gets it. Circuits are firing as he says 😁
Mike, oh what a fun club to be in. No dues, just patience and laughter.😆
Jean, you always give me hope.
Having a stroke is one of my big worries. As a migraine suffer, a stroke can happen. Keep hoping and praying for a recovery.
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