They Can't Read Your Mind.

I was left a comment that made me think of something that not only happens to her but most women I know. 
God knows I deal with it and have dealt with it a lot in the past.

In ancient times when Rick and I first moved in together, I noticed something.
If I asked him to do something it would take forever. 
Oh in his defense not always, just most of the time. 
I would say something thinking he forgot about my request. 
I mean I asked for this 2 weeks ago. He would then say I was nagging. 
"I'll get to it" 
Okay then. I wouldn't have to ask again if you'd just do it when asked. 
I didn't understand this.

When we went to counseling before we got married I brought this up.
The counselor made me laugh when she said, "you can't expect it on your timeline if you don't give him one?" HUH?
She said you must tell him what you'd like done and a date. 
Be specific. He can't read your mind, Margaret. 
She repeated Rick is not a mind reader. (well hell no because he wouldn't do a lot of his dumb shit if he were)  
She gave an example to say, 'Rick I would like it if you could hang that picture for me by Friday.'
She went on to explain, this way he has a deadline, this way he knows you want it done now or by said date/time.

My first thought was why the hell am I asking him if I want it done in 6 months from now? How stupid would that be?  
But I listened to her and I tried it. I mean I was paying her.
By God, it worked.

Rick's response was he didn't realize it had to be done right then. 
OMG. 
Yes, after my head exploded I said nothing like what was really swirling in my head. Instead, I nicely said I don't understand that but from now on I will give you an exact time.
I just wanted to not argue so if this was the way I'd try it. 
I felt he wasn't listening and he wasn't respecting me when I asked him something. He felt it was no big deal and I didn't say it had to be done right now.  So he didn't understand me either. 

After we learned this we both were aware of it more and that too was helpful. One day I asked him to hang a planter but I went a bit further and said I wanted this planter hung by 5pm on Saturday. That made him laugh like crazy. He said, just saying Saturday is fine enough Margaret. Not really Rick because I wanted it up before company comes so 5pm would give me a comfort level.
He said, "Oh I get that." Good, he is getting it now. I don't pick arbitrary dates and times, there is generally a reason but if there is not and I just want it done, then be like Nike and just do it! :-)

Over the years this has continued. 
I never ever ask him to do something without a timeline per se. 
I will say things like, "Can you please help me reach the wiggly waggly thingy I can't reach...right now?"  
Will you be able to get his painted by Sunday?
And even now when I begin to ask something he will usually just jump in and say, "when do you want it done by?"  

So, ladies, it works. 
I know, I know, you're thinking why should I have to f-ing tell him this? 
If I ask I want it done now. But apparently, they don't think like that. 
They think, Okay I'll do it, but the games on. So it gets pushed aside and more often than not, they forget until the question comes from you again and then you are accused of nagging. 

So try it next time. Especially when you tell them it bothers, hurts, fries your ass, or insert your emotion here. For some reason every woman I have told this after our counseling session decades ago says it works and has stopped a lot of arguments.

I was charged an arm and a leg for that advice. 
So there ya go, counseling for free that was passed on by our counselor.