Rick: Here comes Duane
Me: Who the hell is Duane?
Rick: (laughing) I don't know, who is Duane?
Me: you said he was coming.
Rick: Oh Margaret I'm pulling your leg I knew when you asked who Duane was you didn't hear me.
Me: Gee how nice of you, what did you say?
Rick: Here comes the rain. But go ahead look out the window, Duane is falling.
Me: You're an ass.
In my defense, he was at the back of the house looking out a wall of glass and not facing me. I was in the bathroom at the other end of the house, cleaning it. I wasn't even in the same room so I think I should get a pass on this one.
I went to speech class for 7 years. The first 7 years of my school life.
I could not say my R's and I had a bit of a stutter.
Sadly they didn't think I could be the next Barbara Walters so they insisted I go to speech classes for years.
There is a pharmacy in New York that for the life of me I can't say.
Oh, I can say it if I say the first name and the 2nd name very slowly and not together. Put 'em together and it sounds like Duane is falling.
So Rick likes to pick on me for this. Isn't he lovely?
I don't stutter or say my R's incorrectly anymore but Rick never ceases to tease me when I have a few drinks and it slips. No one notices and if they do they don't say anything, but Rick will surely point it out. Gee thanks, babe.
So after the above conversation, he kept staring outside and saying the Duane is falling. Then he turned away from the wall of glass and said, Hey you may need to go to that pharmacy in NY to get an umbrella what is the name of that Margaret?
Oh my God, the asshole.
I told him CVS. That made him laugh.
Duane Reade will be the last place I would tell him.
(reade becomes weed if I say it together so I won't give him that pleasure)
21 comments:
It is nice that after all this time together you have fun banter with each other! Like you are truly best buddies!! That is what I would want in a life partner! So fun!
I love the 'verbal sparing' you two do. Kind of reminds me of Moonlighting with Cybil Shepherd and Bruce Willis.
Ann, it's because we were friends before we were a couple. I knew all his girlfriends and he knew who I dated. He hated some always telling me they weren't good enough for me. HA HA. We have been sparing since day 1. He told me the 2nd day of knowing one another that is what he liked about me. I felt the same. I could bust his chops and he knew i was joking around. We are just like this - ask my family and friends, they know.
Ann, you will get it. I didn't find him until I was older. :-)
Jean, without the sexual chemistry...HA HA HA
You two are a match made in heaven.
You could be a weather girl for TV here in St. Louis. We have two of them that have little hitches in their speech. It's not really obvious but one of them says cwouds and cwear. Claudia doesn't pick up on it but it's obvious to me.
Mike - did you notice it when I spoke when we met?
I don't do it consistently so they'd never hire me.
That's nice that they got a job though.
That's interesting. I didn't know you had a speech impediment as a child. I'm glad they had the classes for you even though it was probably a drag.
I have a problem with D's too...which is unfortunate since my name is Robin. I asked for but never got speech lessons in school. I can say R words now, like roar, but only slowly and it still doesn't sound quite right. The names Roy and (worse) Rory make my stomach clench, lol.
Barbara, I was embarrassed at first because twice a week they would take me out of my reading class. But I loved all the kids in the speech class with me. One had a pet monkey so I was fascinated with her.
Pippa - I did not have a choice, my school spoke to my parents and told them I needed it. From 1st grade to 7th.
I'm glad they did or I'd still be talking like that I suppose.
Scott yelled at me that I need to get my hearing checked again the other day. I swear it's just him talking to the wall. If he's talking to the TV he speaks loud and clear but when he's talking to me he's in a whisper.
Oh Julie I get it. Yes, I can't hear as well as when I was 24 but seriously. He had his face looking at the wall of windows I was in another room. Then today I had my head in the freezer and moving things around and he was in the dining room and I said I"m sorry I didn't hear you as I walked into the dining room. then he yelled it at the top of his lungs The ass. Men!
As my hearing very slowly fades I find I have to pay close attention. Otherwise I may give an inappropriate response. It happens more than I would like. Still I'd be tempted to bonk Rick on the head.
Jono,tempted? did and doneš¤£
Didn't notice anything with you. I'll have to call and really pay attention.
That's so funny. I was speech therapist in a former life.
Oh Olga, you would have loved me. R's and a slight stutter from time to time. I also talked 100 miles an hour. I was told if I had had braces they would have melted. :-) Thankfully I was "cured" It's funny how now I am told on the phone that I have this great enunciation. I thank Mr. Simon. :-) I don't hear it but I am thankful that 99% of the time there are no traces, but damn Rick will hear it when it happens!
This is interesting and reminds me how I make up the voices of bloggers. I never "hear" any mispronunciation on your part :-).
I remember a TV weather guy who would mention when the temperatures were below "fweezing". Now, whenever it's cold outside, I refer to it as fweezing.
Well Abby I don't speak like that now. Hence Mr. Simon's good work. Just did it as a kid. Thank God. I wanted to be in radio and was told I was a woman so it wouldn't work. But better than being told because I talked like Barbara Walters right?
Ok, that was funny. Maybe Rick needs a little bit of therapy?? You two have such fun and it is great blog fodder.
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