Did you watch? Chapter 2

I did not watch the cheeto in office speak. I would have spent all my time trying to verify his bullshit and my blood pressure would have risen after every damn lie so why bother.

Instead, I watched the new Ray Romano stand up special on Netflix last night. 
I love him but I felt this was a bit off. Rick didn't though.
It was good but I wanted more. I've seen him better.
Then again it could have been my mood.
It was a very bad day yesterday and it was topped off to a visit to the gyno.  Unless you are having root canal without novocaine there isn't a whole lot worse than a visit to the gyno.

I have mentioned before that I have had to get a new doctor each year I've lived here. 
I find a new one that takes my insurance and after my visit, I get a letter in the mail that they will not be taking any insurance any longer. 
You can still visit and their office will submit it to your insurance as an out of network. But you must pay at the end of the office visit. 
Well, I am certainly not doing that.  That would be big bucks for a pap smear which I hate having and I have insurance that covers it 100%. 

So after this letter, I got a new doctor. 
This happened each and every time.
Finally found one very close and I was thrilled. 
I saw her and felt for me she was one of the best and I came home and told all of this to Rick.
Damn if I didn't get a letter saying she was moving to Richmond VA. 
I hate pap smears so driving 2 hrs to get one is out of the question!
Can you imagine? Road Trip!  Nope.
So I haven't gone to the gyno in 3 or 4 years. It was time...damn it.

Yesterday I get to the new office. I walked up to the desk and signed in and asked if I was in the correct place. There were 2 men in the waiting room. I just had a feeling they were not waiting on a spouse/significant other.   The woman said there were several doctors in this office for a variety of specialties. She gets asked this all the time.

I was asked to come to the back and I got the dreaded scale and blood pressure.
My weight was 4lbs more than I weighed at home this morning before I jumped in the shower. Could my clothes and boots be 4lbs? 
I hate doctor scales, they are always higher. 
My blood pressure was high for me 128/75. Could be the stress of having to go to the gyno I told her. Or that damn scale you had me just stand on. She thought the BP numbers were fine. But I normally run 110/65. 
This nice nurse left and handed me paper clothing to wear.

All the money we pay for this healthcare and they can't give patients something better than a thin paper napkin?  Not a thick paper napkin either.  Not even Bounty quality. 
It is see-through thin, tears easily and it is not corporative to move and adjust around you.
I was given a small one for my top that is similar to a cape that is very short or a shrug without armholes.
It was enormous in width which was kind of funny. The nurse left to get this one because she said, I notice you are big busted so I will get you a bigger one. I appreciated it but it would have fit Rick or a few more of me. I was now ensconced in noisy thin paper crunching with every move I made on this table. Let us not forget we also have to sit on paper so I am crunching paper from everywhere.

I don't get the point of all these paper "coverups"
The shrug or small short cape was open in front. 
Mine wasn't because it could have gone around me a few times. But the point of it is to cover your breast and open in front so the doctor can get to your breast easily for your breast exam.  I think she thought my boobs were bigger than they are or something. I think they should just give me a hospital gown type thing open in front. 

Now let's get to the small paper napkin to put on your lap. 
If you move it it will tear. 
So I sit here with a thin paper napkin on my lap with my backside open to the door. I guess this is why the exam rooms are so damn hot.
I unfolded this little napkin and thought - what the hell is this covering? 
It doesn't go around you. Is it supposed to be covering my hoo-ha? 
She's going to be all up in that anyway why the napkin on my lap?
This is not for modesty or it would go around you. 
Why not a hospital gown open in front so she can get at all my parts easily? I would feel far better that is for sure. 

I sat on that table waiting for the doctor, moving this damn napkin in all directions trying to make it work. I am certain all walking down the hall heard the rustling of that paper. It is as loud as it is rough and thin. I was in that room fighting the good fight with paper. 

Finally, the doctor comes in and introduces herself. She was warm and looked you in the eye when she spoke to me. I felt at ease immediately.
She reminded me in looks and personality of Ali Wentworth. 
The cadence of her voice, her coloring as well as her hair, just everything.
I loved her. But it was a bit unsettling at first with all the similarities. 
The voice especially.  I tried to ignore it but it was difficult for me. 
But I joked with her which I tend to do when nervous.
We even had a laughing fit about something at one point.
I made her laugh about an observation I made and off we went. 
I discussed with her how I keep losing all my doctors and I asked are you moving, is the office group planning on dropping all insurances? 
She said she has no plans to move and that was not on the group's agenda.
 She loves this location and hopes to only be at this location because she lives "out here" (she goes to 2 locations of this group)

I know it can all change in a blink of the eye but hopefully, I'll have her until I don't need her. After 65 you don't need pap smears anymore. 
The only thing I have to look forward to in old age I see.
Old age doesn't look too exciting from where I am sitting. 
Probably just more damn paper napkins they call gowns in my future.