Gazebo

Rick and I have a patio with full direct overhead sun.  

It is miserable to be on our patio in the summer, which is when you should be on your patio.

It's great for my tomatoes, peppers and flowers. For humans, not so much.

We have an umbrella on the table so we sit under there. But we have the sofa from the lake house at this home now and we threw it up against the garage to get a few minutes of shade from the overhang of the garage.  But now at this time of year there is only shade in the very early morning, you know when we're asleep.

We had our coffee out there a couple of weekends ago and Rick made breakfast on the grill.

It was great until the sun was completely overhead and we felt like we were melting.

So I looked into getting an enormous umbrella like we had at the lake house to cover us.

But my goodness since I last purchased them, they were much more expensive.

Rick got the bright idea of putting a gazebo out there. It was a whopping $40 more than an umbrella. He was convinced this was the answer. I felt it would make our deck look closed in and smaller.  I fought this battle and lost. Rick got his gazebo.

On Saturday while Rick had an ounce of energy. (this Lyme has sucked most of his energy)

he thought he would begin the next battle - putting this sucker together.

Because of his Lyme medications he has to be careful of the sun. We slathered him with 60+ and head out back. He was burnt like a lobster in mere minutes but with a few choice items of clothing and hats he managed to head back to the deck. 

The "directions"  said it would take an hour to put together. HA!

They give you a page that lists parts. No directions. Just a page of parts to look for along with a cheap, flimsy little wrench that I could bend with my hand. Useless. We had to use our own tools.

We then began to put this puzzle together. Now normally we are good at such things.

And if I'm not, we all know Rick is. But not this time.

Thankfully neighbors on both sides had left for the day because words were flying that we don't even normally say. 

By hour 2 we were feeling loopy. 

By hour 3 Rick stands up and proclaims that alcohol may help the situation.

He goes in for a beer. I said, "you shouldn't drink on these meds." 

He said, "I shouldn't have to work either but I am."  We both laughed.  

We finally got this thing standing. literally we both said, "Ta Dah!"

We had so much more to do yet we were thrilled to get to this point after only 3 hours!!

After all of the pieces for the frame were in place I realized that 3 of the sides were backwards. That took the wind out of our sails and especially Rick's. 

He just said, "Aaah! Damn it Margaret!"

" 'Damn it Margaret' because I pointed it out? Or just overall damn it Margaret?"

He said, "BOTH!" 

"Well do you want to leave it like that?" 

"No." he says in a whine. "Let's just take it down and get it over with"

"Rick we'll be trying to erect this damn thing for weeks at this point."

To which Rick just laughs and grabs another beer.

So now we are into hour 4.  More beers and more swearing for my big guy and me.

At about the 4 1/2 hr mark we began to just laugh. 

We had no friggin' idea what we were doing. 

We kept going back to our patio table and looking at the page that came with the gazebo as though directions were just going to magically appear. 

Which would of course made us laugh some more because it was still a sheet of paper with only a list of parts. 

By hour 5 we were in full on laughter and giggle mode. We thought it was all done.

As I began to put on the screening that comes with it Rick sat and watched me struggling with this netting that is taller than me. He was enjoying watching me fight with this shit.

Finally I got it on 3 sides. When it got to the back part against the garage I realized that was still backwards. After a moment of perfectly selected swear words in Italian we decided to, how shall I say it in English?...."ah, just fuck it!"  

We just put the screening on the back side of the hook instead of the front. 

No one will tell unless they are staring at it and honestly I don't think they will then either.

Rick stated that if someone notices we will make them dismantled it and do it correctly before they can go home. That made me laugh too!  

Rick then said he had to be sure everything was level with his big trusty level before it was bolted into the patio. 

I said to Rick that "I don't need no stinking level let me just eye ball it"  

With his beer in one hand and his level in another he said, "Okay smart ass, let me measure and check all these and then you move it to where you think its correct and we'll see how good you are"

"Fine  I say, dare accepted."

I moved the 4 posts to where I thought each would be level.

I smile as I type this because I was dead on and while I thought I was going to be damn close I impressed myself.  

He went from post to post with his big blue level and just kept shaking his head. 

He never moved any of the posts. 

Then he put down his beer and did it all over again because it was sure he must have read this all wrong I couldn't have possibly done this without a level.

"HAH!  Didn't believe me did you?"

"No, I really didn't.  You always say you have no skills, now heres one."

"Oh and that is a great skill to have. I can see a career out of that. Tons of money!"

"Yea, it is a useless skill except of course when I need something level. But I am impressed Margaret."

I know you're all jealous of this skill aren't you?

Well at least I found one damn talent/skill before I died right?

Photo's to follow.

_________________________ 
UPDATE - 
Here are the photo's to prove it.

Okay we're not done with putting the lights and other accessories out there to finish it off but you get the idea.  When completed I'll show ya'll again. My picture taking is far worse than my leveling skills because I made this look crooked.  The screening that is tied around the poles zips up on each side to keep the bugs out if you are so inclined to use it. 
And yes, I did make that table from wine crates.  $2.00 wine crates makes a cheap outdoor table!

 Okay these aren't of the gazebo but of my cherry tomato plants

 My jalapenos and I have poblanos as well.