Customers.

Fridays are my slowest day of the week at work.
I don't mind that ya know?

The Friday before vacation was busier than normal.
You would have thought there was a full moon with all the crazy callers.
I had a man named Armando who kept asking if he could stay at my house the day it was done so he could avoid any fumes. He said it several times and the last time when he said he would sleep with me at my house I said, "Armando this is most inappropriate and you are making me very uncomfortable. Please stop with this line of talk okay? let's get back to your bathroom remodel"  
He laughed and said he was just kidding "sorry"
Then he said, "well you may not be that good looking so that's okay"
What a horses ass!

But the clincher was my very last phone call of the day on Friday.
Rick was already home and he heard it all. 
Now I have to start by saying that I have never ever said what I have wanted to say to a customer except once in 1984. I remember it vividly to this day and I will share with you a bit later. It bothered me after I did it and this one did too. 
I am not proud that I stooped to her level but at the moment it felt good, then I had remorse.

I answered the phone "Good Afternoon XYZ company may I help you? 
I was met with "WOW you never answer the phone this must be my lucky day"
She said it with such venom and anger it was actually shocking.

She went on to tell me she has been calling the office for two whole months and no one has ever answered the phones. She told me we are the preferred vendor in her condo complex and she wanted some answers but not reaching me for two months was crazy ass shit. 
Yes, those were her exact words!

Now not only am I chained to this desk from 8a - 5pm but I normally even eat my lunch at my desk. If I am on the phone it will automatically roll into voicemail & tell you that I am on the phone please leave me your name and number and I will get right back to you. 
Then I am stuck on the phone some more. So this comment didn't make sense to me. 
I am on the phone so much I won't answer my own phone at night. 
I hate being near a phone after work. 
I pride myself in returning calls promptly so I don't get herremark.

So I say to her, "I'm sorry but did you leave me a message?"
She screams now.  I am not that deaf yet I wanted to say but I did not.
She screams, "NO! if you don't even answer the phone that is your problem."

I say, "Ma'am I'm sorry you haven't been able to reach me but I'm here now what can I do for you?"   She wouldn't stop with the voicemail talk and off she goes....

This tirade went on for some time. She  just kept yelling at me.
She screams some more, "So you never answer the phones you just let them all roll into voicemail?" 

"No ma'am,  it rolls into voicemail if the office is closed. It goes to voicemail if I am on the phone and tells you I am on the phone.  And if I take a lunch break away from my desk voicemail will pick up.  But I immediately call everyone back who leaves me a message.
I am here now what can I do for you today?"

She sighs LOUDLY and she damn well makes sure I understand that she is pissed. 
Okay I got that lady.

She asked me, "What all is involved in having this done to my tub versus a liner? And can you tell me what the difference in cost is as well?"

As I begin to answer she screams again. I mean SCREAMS  for me not to talk over her.
I apologize and tell her I didn't realize she wasn't done talking. There was a lull there so I began to answer. I'm sorry I say AGAIN.

Then she proceeds to go on a roll of talking about this product vs. that product and on and on and on.  I heard 1/2 of this. Literally this went on for a full 2 minutes. All just repeating herself to listen to herself talk I guess.
She paused and honest to God I was afraid to talk.
I said, "Ma'am I would be happy to go over this with you."
She then screams, "I AM NOT DONE TALKING. DAMN, I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!"

It was 4:50p I was so tired of this shit.
I said I was the supervisor.  I went on to say, " I'm sorry but you have asked those same things several times now and I would like to help you and answer all these questions, may I now?"

Now blogger friends I am not proud I said that but she was pissing me off big time.
It wasn't awful but it was snarky. Oh I said it snarkily. (is that a word?)

She told me that I was unprofessional and screams that I could kiss her big black ass and she hung up.  Lovely huh? 

She was the one who was out of line to begin with but I should never have done this.
So why did it bother me for two days?

Now to the story which I mentioned above regarding the first time I said what I really wanted to say in my life at work.

I was working at the ticket counter for Piedmont Airlines. We had fog one morning.  
The airport was closed due to this fog. 
All airlines were grounded that serviced this airport until the visibility was better. 
We gave our customers breakfast vouchers to keep them quiet for awhile. 
Later lunch and free drinks for on the plane.  
Yes, this was back in the day of drinking and smoking on the plane.

We kept them updated with announcements as we got them from the tower.
This woman whose name I remember and but will only use her first name here.
Cheryl. 
Oh lovely Cheryl worked for Nabisco. She told me 100 times that day. 
She thought she was very important. 
In fact more important than all others trying to depart that day.
Including the governor who was there as one of our passengers.

She was going to Philly if memory serves me correctly. 
She kept coming up to the desk and asking me when we were leaving. 
Like I was driving for heavens sake.  I told her we were informed this was an indefinite delay and explained what was happening. 
Which I might add had been done several times via announcements over the PA.
(This airport was so small you could shout the info to everyone just so you know) 

She came back to the counter again and asked the same thing. I said the same thing. 
The third time she asked me what indefinite meant.  I did not laugh. I did not get snarky. 
I calmly said, "it means that we have no idea how long this fog will last but that as soon as we do we will make an announcement when we get clearance to leave."  She huffed away. 

The next time she came to the desk she threw her hard briefcase at me. It hit me just perfectly in the chest to knock the wind out of me.  She then proceeded to call me stupid and uneducated and that I did not know what it was like to miss an important business meeting.

Well by this time I had caught my breath and I walked in front of the counter and said, "Look Cheryl, if  I could part the skies and get you on the plane and out of my face trust me I would do that so fast your head would spin. I have given you free drinks, free breakfast and I have tried to be nice to you. Now go sit down and when the airport reopens trust me I will come and escort you to the plane myself!" 

She backed down, picked up her briefcase and walked away. 
Guess who was standing there?  
Yep, my boss had just driven over from the offices and she heard all this.

I was told to go home and I had 3 days off without pay. I was grounded for the week. 
Which meant during my 3 days off I couldn't fly anywhere (I flew for free) 
My peers at the desk told Heidi, my boss, how this woman was behaving and how she threw her briefcase at me but Heidi didn't care. To be fair Heidi was right.
I shouldn't have done that. I had just had 5 hours of this shit and I lost it. 

I can't remember a lick of shit anymore but I can remember this dumb bitches name and where she worked and probably will until the day I die.

Pathetic isn't it? 
The funniest part was the guy over at USAirways. Jim was always antagonizing we gals at Piedmont. He was funny as shit and he made a sport out of being mean to his customers. 
We loved that he did it and always got away with it. They weren't exactly known for their service you know?   When I was telling Cheryl what I thought of her that day Jim was applauding...loudly.  Everyone heard him. I'm surprised she didn't go over and kick him in the knees. (He was 6'5")  Again the airport was so small there were only 3 airlines there so we were closed to one another.

Some day I will share with you what he did to some woman as he sent her to me at the desk knowing full well it was the wrong thing to do. The poor woman was so confused and he continued to fuck with her like a sport. He was bad, funny, but very bad. 
Yet I got 3 days off with no pay. He is probably retired with a fat pension now.

Ah, well I deserved it.
But ya know Cheryl could kiss my big fat white ass. ( wink wink)