How I Spent My Holiday Vacation.

The holidays are over and I for one am thankful.

I watched a lot of movies.
I purged a lot of my house.
I ate too much.
I drank more.

Neither Rick nor I ever have made resolutions in our lives.
But this year we made what we called a plan.
We begun by organizing our home.
To bring it back to the way it used to be.

Now I have shared with you in the past that Rick as well as friends tease me a great deal about me being so anal retentive.
I was teased because everything in my drawers in my kitchen or my bedroom were in such order.
I was teased when Rick would open the pantry and see all things lined up just so.
Rick thought it was so odd when the things on the shelf in the pantry were organized by what they were for.  Ex: baking, cooking, etc. "How else to find things I would ask? You can't just put things on a shelf willy nilly Rick?
When they were all helter skelter of late he kept saying, "What is going on with my Margaret?"
I just didn't care. First time in my life....well past my teenage years that is.
My desk is beyond recognition. Where as I used to have all the pencils facing one way now you can barely find a pen or pencil.  The holders are empty and papers are strewn about in piles.
Now I am not going to be on hoarders and I know people reading this who know me and have been to my house would say, "this is what you call a mess?" 
To me it is.
It's uncomfortable and it's been done for the wrong reasons.
It didn't get like this because it is who I am.
It got like this because I am not myself.

This past year I was depressed.
Money woes like the rest of America.
Stress from business income being down 50%.
Stress from my bills being more than what was coming in.
Stress that my savings is gone.
Stress from having ruined my credit which was steller for my whole life.
Stress that my home is underwater.
Stress that my 2nd home is still trying to be sold because I can no longer afford a 2nd home.
Stress, stress, stress.  It has felt like a slow drowning.

But you know what I have learned this year?
The stress is causing me more issues.
I learned I stress eat. Believe it or not I never knew that.
I have become very aware of this for the first time. So I guess that is a good thing.
I learned that I let things around me pile up and I try to ignore everyone and everything around me when I am stressed.
I learned that doing all of this doesn't make anything better so I must stop.
Drowning under food, drink or piles of paper or letting the laundry pile up doesn't make the issue go away. The issue is still there and I am adding to the pile of shit that is my stress.

So I am going to try to deal with this new life to the best of my ability.
I am a smart woman.
I know that eating chocolate, drinking and letting things pile up in my home do not make my life better.
In fact they only add to the stress.
I may not be able to control everything which is my nature to try to do.
But I can control this and I need to snap out of this funk.
It is the new normal for me and I have to accept that fact and make the best of it.

So I have purged papers, clothes, things and it continues.
Over this holiday I have cleaned cupboards, closets and even a laundry room.
My office is still 1/2 way complete.  End of year papers that need saved for 1 year in a box.
Rick is doing his share with his closet and clothes.
We are having a big ole house purge.

I admit it feels good to get back to the way it used to be.
Have a few more things to do but it feels good.
Painted the kitchen, powder room and this Saturday the dining room.

My whole life I have been a successful goal setter and in control.
Time to get back to it!