This my husband finds funny as hell….me not so much.
Our dog was housebroken rather quickly. At least I think it was quick. I never had a dog before. She had it down in a week. Truth be told she rather taught us more than the other way around.
Oh at first being the anal retentive person I am I wanted no accidents on white carpet or accidents anywhere actually. I don’t like things out of place or messy. Oh boy has that changed quickly. I read how to take her out to walk as soon as she is up for a nap and after she eats etc. so that she can pee/poo and not have an accident. The book said that the owner had to watch her and do all the guessing about her bowels. Great, this is what my life has become.….sounds like a rip roaring good time to me.
I believe that logic only sounds reasonable in the book. But I have found my diva dog has a routine all her own…..she must yawn and stretch and scratch before she goes out. She has to take a few laps around the kitchen island and sniff at her food bowl before she is ready for any such walk. Take her out immediately upon waking from a nap and she will just go outside and lay down and not walk no matter what you do, say or how hard you pull. I have looked like an idiot out there squatting in front of my house pulling, talking, coaxing, begging, etc.
Within the next week or so she took to sitting by the front door every time she had to go out.
Now this is well and good if I am downstairs. However I live in a 3 floor townhome. My office is on the 2nd floor. I work from home; therefore, I am always on the 2nd floor. My office is a loft so I can hear what is going on downstairs. But I can’t tell if she is sitting by the door or not. If I am on the phone with a customer I don’t notice it is quiet down there until it is too late. So there were 2 accidents. So we got bells for the front door. Everyone swore by these damn bells. I figured what the hell have I got to lose besides my sanity….I would give ‘em a try.
We trained Izzy to hit the bells with her nose if she needed to go out. You were to say 3 times, “Izzy do you have to go potty, ring the bells.” For some reason I feel like an ass saying this 3 times but okay I’ll try it. These bells hang from a ribbon and are attached to the front door handle. We got them on a Monday afternoon and by Tuesday morning she had the hang of it. By Wednesday I realized I had a hustler on my hands.
I was on the phone with a customer and I heard the bells. I couldn’t get this customer off the phone fast enough. I run downstairs and sure enough she had to go. YIPEE.
We had a very quick walk and came back to the house. I went upstairs after a few minutes of playing with her and some squeaky toys. As I was at my desk I could hear her squeaky toys and knew she was playing. Next thing I know she is ringing the bells again.
Really you have to go only 15 minutes later?
I run downstairs and she is by the door sitting there so regal straight and tall like she is damn proud of herself. Actually I was too.
Off we go to have her do her business but she grabs a stick and begins to frolic on the grass. I realized she did not have to go but that she has figured out that these bells will get me to go outside with her. I bring her back in and play with her for a bit and let calls go to voicemail. She tires out and takes a nap. Whew.
Back to work I go. I have so many calls to return and I am almost caught up when I hear the bells again. Now I am figuring she couldn’t possibly have to go again for God’s sake but she did just have a nap and the book says…...
So I yelled to her to come. She comes barreling up the steps and she is in her frantic pee-pee dance mode. Okay you really have to go. So outside we go again. And she did have to go. Now I am feeling badly that I doubted her. This dog is going to drive me crazy.
Seriously only 5 minutes later she rings the bells again. I am about ready to rip those bells off the door. I am not going down there she is just fucking with me and she wants to play. I continue to work. Another 5 minutes go by. This time she REALLY rings them – like a huge bang, bang, bang against the door. It startled me. I imagine it was her way of yelling, “open this damn door woman and get off your fat ass.”
I’m thinking if I go down there and she doesn’t have to go then I’ll be pissed. If I don’t go down there and assume she doesn’t have to go and she poo’s in the foyer then I’ll be pissed. I don’t know what to do. So I bite and go downstairs.
Once I get to the front door she again is sitting there all pretty and regal waiting on me to put on her leash. I say, “do you have to go potty, ring the bells” And she does. Off we go. And making me feel like the worst dog owner ever she poo’s. Now I am thinking, “you couldn’t do that a bit ago when you peed Izzy, we walked for a long time and you never had to go?” Aargh. I am getting no work done today at all.
This went on all day – the bells, me running, sometimes for a real reason, sometimes she just wanted to get a stick. I went up and down these stairs all day long and I never knew if I could trust the bells or she was just playing me like a fiddle.
This went on for 3 days. FINALLY now we have that behavior squashed. She stopped doing it unless she has to go out. I guess as she gets older she is getting it.
In the mean time my legs are getting a damn great work out.
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