Bigger Issues than just Grout

As you all know from reading my blog regularly, my husband and I are in business together. I am in the office and he is the man doing the heavy lifting.

I talk to people all day, answering the same questions and saying the same things.
I am never ceased to be amazed at the things people will ask or share with me.

Here are a few of the weeks events.  

****Crazy Bigots
Here are a couple of things this week that have been amusing to me.
There is large immigrant population and day laborers here and over the last couple of years, it has become a hot topic that has led to bad feelings on both sides of this fence.
There are very few blue-collar workers who speak English here.
No, His Name is Not Ricardo......
On a daily basis, I am asked if the men coming to their home will speak English. Normally this is done in a lower tone, almost a whisper. 

Like they know it’s politically incorrect but they must ask but just not loudly. 

Back in the day, my mom would say, “Oh Mary, she has (whisper tone) cancer.”

A woman this week did not even bother with the whispering or the beating around the bush so to speak – she just came right out and asked me questions. 

I admired her forthrightness even if misplaced. She asked me what this man’s name was that would be coming to her home. On this day it was going to be Rick so I said “Rick” and she asked if his name was really Ricardo. I had to laugh because I mean really, how can you not? I said, “No, in fact, his name is Richard or Rick.”

Then she asked for his last name, now I imagine she was thinking it would be something like Hernandez.
When I spelled his last name for her she then asked me if he spoke English. That also made me chuckle because did she honestly think I just made up a name for him for heaven’s sake? I said he did speak English. 

She went on to ask if you could understand him. I was fighting back laughter. 

I told her that he spoke as well as she & I did if that meant anything to her.  

She asked if I knew where my boss was born. I told her I did and it was Pennsylvania. 

She still insisted that he come to her home for an estimate even though one was not necessary!  I imagined it was because she wanted to see for herself that he was indeed a 6’2” Irish fella from Pennsylvania. 

When I told Rick this story he said he was going to ring her doorbell and when she came to the door say, ¡Hola! ¿Como esta usted?

Now that would have been fun just to see her face if he had had the cogliones to do that don't you think?
He did not do that. Darn it. The job was completed and she was happy. She called after the job to thank me for sending an American. I wanted to say shit but I just said I hope she was happy with the work. We just hoped to never see her again!

****Putting the Sex Toys Away when the Company is Coming
Rick went to a young woman’s home to give her an estimate a few weeks ago for the remodel of her bathroom and the reglazing. He noticed she did not have a bathroom window and told her that he would need one to extract the fumes and he could use the one closest to the bathroom with the 50ft extension. She showed him her bedroom and they determined this would work fine.

He goes to her home the 2nd time to do the job. When it was time to go to her bedroom he went into the room she was in and asked if he could get into her bedroom now. 

She said, “sure” and proceeded to get up and walk him into her room. (He did not want to just enter her room without asking) 

Next to the window was a nightstand. On said nightstand were her sex toys – visible for the world to see. He saw her look at them and then she leaves the room. He thought that odd but proceeded to do the job that he was there to do. He assumed she may be mortified and remove her toys after he walked into the bathroom. 

When he finished that day he again told her that he had to go into her room again and she shouted, “go ahead” He went into her room and did what he had to do, and again being the man he is, he looked at her sex toys again on her nightstand and he was stumped by one of them.

Fast forward to when he gets home and he can’t stop talking about this.
He asks me If you knew people were going to be in your bedroom wouldn’t you put those away? If you just forgot wouldn’t you shove them in the nightstand drawer after I left the bedroom the first time? And Margaret what the hell was this other thing?”
There were 2 brightly colored vibrators, and a few other toys along with this “other thing” that we have no idea what it is.

Now my answer to Rick's questions is yes I would put them away and yes if I forgot I sure would have after you left my room! I have no idea what the “other thing” was, but it was cracking me up that he was so concerned about it. 

For 2 days, he kept drawing me pictures and asking me, "what the hell would one do with this thing?" Oh, how the laughter ensued after all of our guesses of its use let me tell you. He should have just asked her, I mean she didn’t seem to care that he saw them she may not have cared that he asked her. But the fact that he is still talking about this makes me laugh. Mr. Cool realizes he ain’t so hip and cool anymore. 

****You have bigger issues than reglazing Lady!
This woman emailed me and said she couldn’t call from work, but she needed an estimate and information. She wrote me and told me that she needed to have her bathtub reglazed and did we regrout tile floors? No, we do not. I recommend the grout medic but we could do the bathtub for her. She then proceeded to tell me that she has a very small bathroom, but the whole floor has blood that has soaked into the tile’s grout. She wanted to know if we cleaned grout or replaced grout because the tile was just fine. I say if it’s just a small area has she tried bleach? She writes and says, “oh, it’s not small it’s the entire bathroom floor and that is why I need it regrouted. The same with the tub, the blood stains have soaked through and have left discoloration." 

Okay, I’m reading her email and I’m thinking, where’s the body? 

I’m also thinking there are much bigger issues at hand here than just grout - know what I mean? This one scared me.
She told me she was in another state right now (ah, I'm thinkin' state penitentiary perhaps?) so she couldn’t call me but would upon her return in early August. (she’s being released in August I’m guessing here)
I am not sure I want to pick up the phone when this call comes in.

That’s how my week’s going, how ‘bout yours?

Update - the sex toy that was unidentifiable to Rick wasn't a sex toy at all! 

Silly, silly boy. It was to separate your toes for painting your toenails.
He saw these in a magazine and he showed them to me. 

He said this was the item on the gal's nightstand that confused him about how to use it. He assumed they were used like the other items on her nightstand. Numbnuts! That drove him crazy for weeks. 

The fact that he thought about this for so long, well, I find that hysterical.