Memories of Uncle Joe

My Uncle Joe...One of my favorite uncles just passed away. He was married to my mom's sister. My mom was closer to him than her own sister....but then who didn't love this man who knew him. I have such great memories of this man. I can't say his name without smiling. I am fortunate to have had 2 Uncles like that in my life. Sadly now both are gone. My Uncle Joe was a jovial round man who in all my years I never saw without a smile on his face. When my mom was sick (cancer) he would come out to this dairy farm to buy his milk and we lived 3 blocks away so he would always stop in. (okay it was the country and we didn't have blocks but roughly that far) 

 His visits would cheer my mom up and sometimes just be what the doctor ordered for her. It would make her get up and make a pot of coffee and put out some of her great homemade baked goods. He would sit and chat with her and I'd hear them laughing from the other room and it was so comforting to know that he could make her feel better. I used to like to hang around them in the kitchen because they were always laughing like crazy. I honestly think he had a crush on my mom. Things he said after she died and things he said to me later in life as I was older convinced me he did. Kind of cute. 

He worked at a bakery for 51 yrs. Can you even imagine doing anything for 51 yrs? Let alone never complaining? Every other week when he came out to our town to buy his milk he would bring us all kinds of bread and rolls. He knew I liked the big crusty rolls and he would tell me they were warm so I would come running. 

 Of course, he wanted a hug and a kiss first and I gladly obliged. 

There was a place where he took us called either Punxtawny Dam or else Kinzua Dam. I believe one of those. There were these huge carp there and people would go and feed the fish and it was a real sight if you were a kid. He piled 4 of his 5 kids in his station wagon and brought along my sister and me and we all took the drive to feed the fish. He brought bags of stale bread I imagine from the bakery and we got such a kick out of those big ugly fat fish. We stopped at a picnic area in the woods and I remember having lunch and of course Uncle Joe had a couple of beers with him. We kids ended up playing baseball that day. I don't recall what kind of nut it was but there was something we found that was the ball and the empty beer bottle was the bat. This just cracks me up. Today he would be turned in to social services. But we kids were having the time of our lives. 

He made the bases for us and had another beer while he cheered us on and laughing. I also remember stopping on the way home at a bar. I was so thrilled to sit at the bar next to him and get a Shirley Temple. We kids played a shuffleboard game while he had a beer. Then off we go, all piled into that station wagon. 

 I know, I know, it was wrong of him to have 2 or 3 beers throughout the day with all those kids and driving. But I still look at all of that so fondly. We laughed all day long and it was such fun. 

After my mom died he would continue to stop by in the summer when he got milk to visit my sister and I who were home alone. He'd bring me those warm rolls and play jacks or cards with us for just a short time and then he headed home to his family. It meant the world to me. Those were difficult days for my sister and me and he knew it. I swear he was the only adult who did know it.

He always talked about my mom yet never made us feel sad, just happy. 

He just had a way about him....and he always made us feel secure and happy.  

When I was in high school he used to tell me I looked like this girl named Chrissy on The Young and The Restless. I did not watch this so I had no idea if that was true or not. One time I got my hair cut and he said it looked just like hers. I imagine that was just the style that all girls had in the 70's because I never saw "Chrissy or the soap opera. But every time he saw me he'd say, "hey Chrissy" and just laugh. From then on I was Chrissy to him. Last year when I went home for his sister-in-law's funeral I saw him. It had been a few years since I last saw him. There he was at 93 having survived colon cancer, unable to hear much at all even with hearing aids, and legally blind. But always smiling and in the best spirits.

When he spoke to you he got real close to see your face. And God love him if he still didn't think I looked like "Chrissy" and then laugh. We chatted about his life. He said he was tired and had had enough. I realized that saying, "oh don't say that" was inappropriate because really if that is how he feels then it doesn't matter how I feel about it...it's his life. He said he would be next and that he was ready. He would miss everyone but it sucked to get old and he laughed. Again always laughing even when he wasn't feeling so great. He talked about my mom and asked a lot about me and my life. I was taken aback. I realized that so few so-called friends or close acquaintances do ask about your life that it was refreshing not to give a stock answer but to really have a conversation back and forth about our lives and our memories and our hopes for the future. Even though his were bleak to me he didn't think his were. To him, they were the next step and he was ready. I am glad I spent that time with him on the last visit or I would be a helluva lot worse than I am today. It was his time and I am so damn thankful I had him in my life....now he can make my mom laugh again!