Big Brothers / Big Sisters.

I joined the Big Brothers / Big Sisters organization in 1990.
I called and asked the appropriate questions and they suggested I come to a meeting they were having to discuss the organization and to talk to some of the other people interested as well as some of the people from the organization.

I did all my due diligience and decided I really wanted to join.
I was assigned this man Bob who walked me through it all.
He would be my go-to man for questions, concerns and issues that may arise.
The first step was him coming to my home to see my living arrangements.
I cleaned like a crazy woman and Rick kept telling me they didn’t care if my underwear drawer was organized. I didn’t care I straightened it anyway.
The visit went well and Bob informed me of step 2.

The next step was that I had to take an exam, have a background check and be fingerprinted.
I understood the background check and the fingerprinting but the exam?
Bob just kept reassuring me that it was just to see if I was normal.
Now Bob was young, good looking and funny so I thought it was a joke…..until I took the exam.

I met Bob on a week day afternoon after work to take this test.
Bob gave me the test which reminded me of SAT’s and walked me to a room where I could take this in private and in solitude. Once I broke the seal and opened the exam I realized this was nothing like taking your SAT’s. The questions struck me as odd but there seemed to be a recurring theme here…..was anyone or any voices in my head telling me to do things and how much control I had over my bowels.

Stop laughing this is no lie.

There were situational questions that asked how I would handle this or that.
There were questions that just seemed to have no relevance at all to anything and I kept shaking my head but coloring in the circle. Then after all these so called normal questions there would be a “Do you have trouble controlling your bowels?” I read it, reread it and laughed. I mean seriously this isn’t what they are asking me, it must be a typo.
I skipped it. I thought I’ll go back to this later this is only the first page.
Now I am on page 3 and it is moving along and then it asks, “Do you hear voices telling you to do bad things? Is it hard to resist these voices?”
The voice in my head right now is telling me this is crazy!

Page 4 asks if I can control my bowels yet again?
What am I doing here?
What if they find out I am nuts because I can control my bowels to the point that I am constipated most of the time? Will they not give me a little sister? What the hell?
Now I have to go to the bathroom. Damn them.

Bob walks by the room and asks how everything is going?
I looked up and ask him if this is Candid Camera? He asks me why do I say that?
Honest to God blogger friends I am thinking maybe I am nuts, What does he mean how can I think that?
So I say, “Bob why does it keep asking me about my bowels.”
He laughs and tells me, “you just have to answer the questions Peggy” and he walked away.

By the end of this I have answered numerous questions peppered in between serious questions about my bowels and hearing voices. All these questions were presented in all different forms of the same question, do I hear voices and can I control my bowels?

Now I am getting paranoid. I have no issues with my bowels and there are no voices telling me to do things. Will that stop me from becoming a Big Sister? I hand in my test and I ask Bob when will I hear back from them. He said to give it a week for the background check, the fingerprint info and the test results. I’ll call you to come in to go over everything. “So you’ll let me know if I’m normal.” Laughing he said, “yes”

A week later Bob tells me that I am normal. Whew. Being constipated is a good thing I guess. There were no surprises in my background check so I was good to go. He told me about a family who he has been working with as their social worker and they have 1 young girl in the family. The family was poor. The family dynamic was a Mother, her boyfriend, 2 boys, 1 little girl. I was to meet the family and Bob would be bringing me there to introduce me.

Bob drove me over to the family home. We pulled up and I was immediately struck at the poverty. We walked into the home and I was introduced. I was appalled at the condition of the house. We sat at the kitchen table and Diane was introduced to me. She was an unbelievably gorgeous little girl. Black hair, ice blue eyes, pale porcelain skin and a little button nose. She didn’t smile or talk much. The boys were running around and being bad and I noticed that the discipline was basically just yelling obscenities at them. I looked over at Bob at one point and he just looked away from me. I thought that was odd.

The mom appeared to be what I would call slow. The boyfriend was obnoxious. He seemed like a bully to me and I did not like him at all. He was apparently the father of the youngest boy. The oldest boy and Diane had a different father. We made small talk. We discussed the arrangements and how the program worked. I didn’t get to spend any time alone with Diane that day.

As we were leaving I noticed their television and stereo system. It was huge and expensive. I wondered how they could afford that when I couldn’t have those things.
It was such an odd experience for me.

On the drive home Bob asked me what I thought. I was honest. He did tell me that the mother only had an 80 IQ. He explained why when he met them he thought Diane would be a good candidate for the Big Sister program. She appeared to be bright and smart and had the potential to break the family cycle. He thought a positive influence/role model would be beneficial in making sure she knew that.

....to be continued.