Step on A Crack Break Your Mothers Back

My social life seems to be doctor's appointments. 

Sounds like fun doesn't it?

I wrote on Friday that I had to go to Duke. I told you about all the nice women and nurses but I don't think I told you about my neurosurgeon who is a case study for me.

My neurosurgeon, Dr. G. is such an odd duck.

His picture would be next to the word nerd in the dictionary.

He is brilliant. He has accolades up the wahoo. 

I read up on him everywhere I could find. He is impressive.

He walked into the room said hello quietly, almost a whisper, and put out his hand.

He is what I would call mild-mannered, pasty white, and soft. 

By soft I don't mean fat or heavy at all, just soft. 

When he talks about my spine he gets excited and animated but his social skills while all polite are where he is lacking a bit. That's where I came up with nerd.

He asked me how long and how this all began with my back. He could tell I had had surgeries and he wanted to have me start at the beginning.

I did a quick version and then he went back and asked for details like, okay you fell but where?

I said on concrete steps. But where?

Oh, you want a lot of details, really? All right I can do that. Are you sure? Why does it matter?  He said, "I want a picture." Okey dokey.

I fell at the CNE exhibition stadium in the summer of 1979. (Toronto)

He asked where that was. 

(not there anymore but on the lakefront at the time where the Blue Jays played)

It had been raining but it stopped. The steps were wet. We saw people falling left and right. There were no handrails. I had to go to the bathroom before the singer came out. My girlfriend said, "Go slow"  I thought I had but my foot slipped, both legs went straight out in front of me and I bounced on my tailbone twice. Just like a cartoon. I had instant mind-blowing pain. A man sitting across from this step on the aisle was kind enough to help me get up. I had to pee and I wanted to cry. 

I waited to do both.

I got myself to the bathroom, closed the stall door, and wept. 

I was in such pain.

I pulled myself together and went back to the show. 

I was in a lot of pain all night. He asked what I did for the pain. 

I hesitated and then said -  We smoked pot and drank wine in our hotel room since I could not go out as we had planned. He asked, "Did it help?"  

Yes, it did until halfway through the night.

He asked if I lived in Toronto at the time. I told him no, Erie PA. 

He then said, may I ask who the singer was. Now I'm thinking this is strange but I went along. I told him it was Burton Cummings. I also said, "I think you are too young to know him or his former band, The Guess Who"  He laughed and said, "You're correct"  I said, "You've heard Lenny Kravitz sing American Woman?"  

He said, Sure. I said he was the original writer and singer of the song. 

(Since he's in his late 40s he probably wasn't even born until that year I fell.)

Honestly, I can't believe we're in this much depth with nothing to do with my back.

In the morning my 23-year-old self didn't know how I was going to drive back to Erie PA because my car was a standard. 

The doctor asked, "How did you?"  

(280Z, remember those?) 

My girlfriend who I was with did not know how to drive a standard. I could not extend my leg without a good deal of pain. She drove and I'd say CLUTCH, and I'd shift from the passenger seat. We practiced in the hotel parking lot until she got the hang of it. We did this all the way home to Erie. She only stalled it once when we got to Erie. 

After he heard all this he was excited. Telling me what I had done, what this fall did, and why. Oh, he was an excited little nerd now. He was cute.

He asked why I waited until 1984 to have my surgery. 

Because I was scared.

He showed me my MRI and my spine. Apparently one should have a curved spine. Mine is straight. Oh with excitement he went over everything. How this first fall caused this, as he'd point to my MRI. He was excited. He talked options other than surgery. Some I can't do due to age. NOTHING good happens after 50 I swear! He comes alive now talking about all of this.

His face changes and he is cute and animated and louder and excited almost. 

He continued his animated self with pictures and options etc.

I told him I was scared of a surgery at L1. He said they don't like to do them there if it can be prevented. So again, why would I do that? He said I want to continue to do non-surgical options for as long as we can. I said I agree!

I will have another injection on both sides of L1 next Tuesday. I think that should be it. The first two were not in the right spot. That was the ortho doctor assuming where I had surgeries before, not my spine doctor. 

This was the reason I decided I needed a spine doctor/surgeon should I need the surgery. He would know all that was done and my history etc.

After all this medical speak, he reverts back to a quiet mannered milk toast kind of man about how we were moving forward.

It is so damn interesting to me, actually fascinating. 

He couldn't be nicer and I know he is smart. 

But I just find him so damn interesting that he is so nerdy and quiet until you talk about spines. He was like 2 different people. His excitement  when talking about my back is a good thing for a spine doctor I suppose.

Maybe I find him to be a fascinating character/case study, because I am not the smartest tool in the box, or because I am an extrovert, or both. 

I don't know but I just find him to be a helluva interesting person.