Neighborhood

We have a great neighbor who is dealing with cancer. Our neighbor is a nice man that we like so we have been helping them as much as we can while he has been in the hospital. Food, dog walking, dog sitting, more food and general things around their house that they need Rick to do.

He is young, about to be 55 this year.
His wife just retired and he still works in gov't.
He is Air Force. I don't know his title but to me, he is a meeting planner.
He arranges these great events/parties/meetings in various fun cities here in the US and abroad. Every time he talks about his job it sounds exactly like an event planner to me only high dignitaries are involved. He goes to Hawaii to show off this and that of the US, Vegas, DC, all around the world even islands. I don't get why this is necessary but I'm sure it is not something I'd want to know because it would make me angry. All of it sounds like a lot of schmoozing and wasting of tax payers dollars to me. But it sure sounds like a fun job from all of his stories.

He jogs in the early morning at 4:30 - 5a and we see him then while walking Izzy at that ungodly hour. Izzy just loves this guy! She grunts and wiggles her butt each time she sees him and will run to him for lovin'. His dog, she doesn't care for. She is jealous of this dog since we have begun to care for her. They have a teeny tiny dog that I have shown you here on the blog. We watch her for them or walk her when they can't get back home in a timely manner since he's been in the hospital. He has been in the hospital since early spring I believe.

The hospital he is in is located in Bethesda Maryland. We live in Virgina.
(Walter Reed hospital)
The miles are not so much as the time it takes with traffic around here.
On a great day with no traffic (when does that happen around here?) it is 1hr 15 minutes but normally it is 2 - 2.5 hrs for them. It is only 33 miles though.
We all assume due to being military he must got to this hospital for care.
 But if I were them I would have left this hospital 7 months ago.

You see at first he went in for a pain he was having while jogging.
They told him he had leukemia.
They started treatment and chemo, then another doctor would say,
No, he has lymphoma.
Everything was halted.
This went on for months - no one knew what he had. What the hell?
But they kept pumping him with chemo all this time. He couldn't eat, felt horrible as one would with all that chemo and there was no protocol or plan in place because they didn't seem to know what he had. (yea, head scratcher)

At this point, I would be getting 2nd and 3rd opinions. Go to Johns Hopkins, to Philly to Sloan Kettering....anywhere but this place.
So they did more chemo. He was losing weight, not feeling any better and they still didn't know what he had. Chemo continued. Then one day out of the blue they told him he was cancer free.
Then they told him he would need a bone marrow transplant. So they took him up to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. The doctors there said he was not cancer free and he didn't have the kind of cancer they were treating him for.
So back to the bad hospital called Walter Reed. They continued doing chemo and nothing else. No experimental drugs, no options give. Again, at this point, I would have my husband out of there and be getting other opinions since he still does not have a diagnosis.

I'm sure their insurance played a big part in this. But I have to say I would take my husband anywhere for answers, deal with the bills later. It's his friggin' life.
His wife has talked to us a great deal about the insurance and I know she is making decisions based on that. That is truly a horrible way to make decisions.

They told him on Wednesday (yesterday) that he still has cancer and to go home and call hospice because he has only 2-6 months left. This morning the doctor came in and said, "No you can't go home you only have a couple of days left."

Does any of this even remotely sound professional or like anyone knows what they are doing?

Once in August during his chemo treatments, they allowed him to go home for the weekend.
We saw him walking with his wife. He and Izzy had a great hug fest.
Then in the evening an ambulance came to their house. We were worried.
We found out the following day from his wife that Walter Reed hospital called and told them that he was having a stroke. His wife said, "he's fine" No, they said to call an ambulance he's having a stroke.  They did call the ambulance and he was not having a stroke. See what I mean about a bad hospital/doctors? Why do that to the family and patient? Honestly, this makes me nuts. I asked Rick if he thought Walter Reed was just a war injury hospital and not good for anything else. He felt they weren't good at the war/vet injury either. Where do they find these doctors?
The people who fight in wars for our country can't get medical care that is at least standard? This is sub-standard, to say the least.

I just wonder if he had gotten good treatment and a diagnosis from day 1 if he would be dying now. I asked one day when Mrs. came over to thank us for all the food and help if she was going to get a 2nd opinion. She said there was no point now because all the doctors at Walter Reed are in agreement. WHAT? So they just picked a disease and gave him that? Oh my goodness, this poor man.

Last night their daughter who lives with them came over to get the dog.
She said that dad was coming home to die. They were all so thankful to have him come home. She talked about her and her mom moving back to Pittsburgh after he passes and things like that. Then she sat and cried. My God it broke my heart.
There are no words I can say to make this go away.

Today the daughter text us to let us know Jeff is not coming home and that they don't expect him to live past this week.

I have a feeling he will last longer and will come home for a short time.
I wonder what they will say he died of since they don't have a diagnosis yet.
He died from being at a very bad hospital. Can that go on the death certificate?
This is so sad on so many levels it breaks my heart.

I know that if this were Rick or even myself I'd be like Shirley Mclaine's character in Terms of Endearment. I would be up everyone's arse to get things moving. If that didn't work, there would be other opinions with other doctors outside this dreadful place. If my insurance didn't cover it - so be it - find me to get the money later.
I would never ever be complacent and not know what he has that is making him die. I would fight for experimental drugs and try for trials, I would be doing everything in my power to fight. But they just keep saying, the doctors know.
But you see they don't know because they do not even know what he has.
So bizarre isn't it? And very very sad.