I'm a Walking Zombie

In the past two weeks, the following has been going on in our household.
Pneumonia, dislocated right hip, and a dog who can't stop scooting.

Rick is almost over the pneumonia when he dislocated his hip.  
As I have stated here before Rick is Mr. Cranky Pants when he is not feeling well.
The dog and I like to hide. But he needed me, so Florence Nightingale couldn't hide.

I haven't slept in 2 weeks. I am not ill. First it was all his hacking and coughing. 
Then it was his moaning because he couldn't sleep with the hip issue. 
The other night both were going on simultaneously.
It was 2am Sunday.  He began coughing again.  WHAT?  I thought this was about gone.  
Then he moved a funny way that caused him severe pain. So he let out a moan that made Izzy come over to his side of the bed.  I said, "Well there is a lot of excitement in our bedroom at 2am, however, I am not enjoying it like one would think."  
He laughed and told me not to make him laugh it hurt, and off on a coughing jag he went.

Now of course Izzy decides she has to pee. Really? You can't hold it? 
She goes to the front door. Damn it.
So I throw on clothes and walk her. It was freezing to boot. 
And don't you know I see neighbors?  Why the hell aren't they in bed?  One was walking her dog. I was a hot mess, no bra, hair all over the place, wearing Rick's shirt over leggings and a coat. But then I realized she looked as bad as me. We both mumbled something about why do we love these dogs again and went on our merry way. Then as I was coming around a corner a man was just walking. Who does that at 2am?  Izzy growled so he crossed the road. Thank goodness. If he knew that she would cower and hide behind me he wouldn't have looked so scared. I like that he thought she was mean. He left us alone.

By the time I got back home Rick is in so much pain, I can't stand to look at him. I feel so badly and there is nothing I can do to help. I want to be a royal pain in the ass and say, "you should have gone to urgent care when I told you two days ago because now it's worse."  But I don't. 
He has an appointment with his orthopedic surgeon but not until next Wednesday. 
Apparently this isn't an emergency. It has now gotten so bad that he can't walk. 
A dislocated hip is not only painful but makes walking impossible. Rick being over 6'1 and me being 5'1" makes me carrying him very difficult. But by God I tried. He was best on all fours. 

He made it downstairs to the big sofa. He laid there moaning. He won't eat, he just moans. 
When he had to go to the bathroom he got on all 4's again to "walk" down the hall. 
Unfortunately him being on all 4's makes the dog think he is going to be playing with her. 
At one point, she was all over him and it at least made us both laugh for a moment and forget his pain.  I suggested perhaps he pee in a bottle. He said that he could do this. Okay fine, you stubborn old coot.  He wanted no help in the bathroom and I, of course, wondered how the hell he was going to stand.
I handed him the broom handle and shut the door.  I heard a loud bang/thud and I ran to the door and asked if he was okay. He laughed and said, "I just dropped the broom handle and it hit the bowl of the sink.  I am okay and you can come in and pick it up for me if you wouldn't mind."  
Oh, the honeymoon is so over. 

At 8:30am we headed to Urgent Care because it opens at 9am. 
I said we should go to the hospital, but he said he didn't want to wait that long.
Now how the hell was he going to get in the car?  
He couldn't walk out of the house in the mud on all 4's.
We got the broom handle for him to help himself lean on while also leaning on me. 
God let me tell you how much 240lbs feels like when it's dead weight!  I am really not strong enough and think I may need to do more strengthing for our old age if I need to carry this fella.

We made it to the car, ever so slowly, but we did it. When we got to Urgent Care I got a wheelchair and wheeled him in.  I only bumped him into the door jam and a wall each once. 
In my defense, I can't see over him when he is sitting so I would lean to my side and at that same moment he moved the same way. I bumped into the door jam, he let out a yelp and I do what I always do, I laughed after saying I was sorry.  He said, "Are you trying to kill me?"  I told him if I were I'd have pushed this chair over a cliff this morning. He made a noise. He has no humor that Mr. Cranky Pants when he is not feeling well. I have a low tolerance for his grumpiness, but I do sympathize for the amount of pain this guy is in.

He got a shot in each ass cheek. They gave him a valium and for the love of God we don't know why, we asked  - twice.  But my husband, whose motto is, better living through chemistry, takes it anyways.
They also sent him home with pain relievers and a steroid pack. He came home that day and slept for 6 hrs. He so needed that since we have not been sleeping. Unfortunately, I didn't get that opportunity. I wish they had given me some of those drugs.

He is now walking today - like he has cerebral palsy but walking. He insisted he go to work today to help Gary with this huge job. I gave Gary strict instructions not to let the old man do much. Let him think he was doing something but don't let him lift or do anything that isn't on all 4's as he would be doing a tub. Gary will take care of him because Gary could hurt him. He is so much bigger than Rick and for that I am so grateful. 

Ricks's hip is still not in place completely. As he said, he heard a POP and it felt horrible then better, but it's still not quite right. Only 1 more week until his doctor can see him. By then Rick will probably be fine. But it keeps happening and we need to see if there is a solution for this other than yoga. A new hip perhaps for the old coot.

Izzy has some issue with her bum & girl parts. She went to the vet they thought her anal glands needed to be expressed. They did that and it didn't change. They saw how red her back side and front were so we were given cream to rub on her female parts and her butt. All she wants to do it go outside to the sidewalk or street to scoot. Apparently the pavement does a better job than the grass, my rugs or floors. So at 3 am this morning we are in the middle of the street. I am watching  her scoot and I feel so badly for her.  It keeps her up and in turn we wake up from her digging and attempting to scratch herself. 

I am at my desk on my 3rd cup of coffee and it's only 9:30a. No sleep since 3am. 
When everyone around me gets well I think I will collapse into a puddle. 
You may not hear from me for awhile so that I can sleep.