Or the 50's are fabulous. If the 50's are the new 30's are the 30 year olds only 10?
Who are these people? WTF are they drinking?
I am sick of Oprah telling me how great it is to be in my 50's. She's been spouting this ever since her big 50th birthday party. Well I am here to tell you...No it isn't Oprah.
Okay maybe if you have Oprah money and you can get it tucked, lifted, hair dresser go with you every where to touch up those roots, have a trainer follow your saggin' ass around and a chef to prepare your dietary needs and can afford any doctor or medical need available for anything that ails you then perhaps 50 is just splendid.
For the rest of we mere mortals it just plain stinks.
Don't tell me how these are the best years of my life Oprah. Hell no.
The 40's. YES. The 50's, Not so much!
Can we talk about how much it costs to just upkeep the hair color alone? I bet I could support a small country on this budget of washing away the greys every few weeks.
My husband goes to bed fine and wakes up with a sports injury. How the hell does that happen? I have had injuries this year that have only made my orthopedic surgeon happy.
As Nora Ephron wrote in her latest book her neck went when she turned 60.
I mean c'mon the neck? I now have that to look forward to issues with my neck? Oh goody.
I am still dealing with my sister asking me what the hell the lump was on the back of my thigh - Oh you mean my ASS? I told that sister that I was buying my pants a size bigger to get my tits in my waistband and she about died from laughter. Aah jokes on her she may be 17 years younger but just wait those gorgeous pert titties are gonna fall baby!
Okay so I exaggerate here a bit but honestly it all stinks.
My ass isn't completely on my thighs... yet... because I do excerise but honestly it only helps to a point...it's still lower than it should be for God's sake. And everything else is too.
Sure people tell me I look like I'm younger but so what, everyone does. I some times look at my face in the mirror and go, "who the hell is this person?" I used to be able to put on my eye makeup with out lifting my brow for help. I remember when I used to look at my reflection in the mirror and not avoid it. My how times have changed.
I don't bounce back like I did, I don't heal as fast, and sure as hell can't
recover from a few too many martini's or tequila's as easily. (damn it!)
Oh don't get me wrong the alternative is worse. That is not lost on me.
The good thing about being 50 is I no longer care what others think.
I no longer waste time and energy on people who are toxic....even family.
I can now say No when I really want to say No and can understand that saying No doesn't mean I'm a bad person but that sometimes you have to have boundaries.
I no longer believe in saying NEVER. I am old enough to realize that will bite you in the ass as soon as you say it.
I now understand that not everything is black and white - there is a helluva lot of gray out there. (and I'm not talking hair)
I understand forgiveness is about freeing yourself and nothing to do with them being right or what they did was right.
I now understand at 50 that sometimes people don't like you - their loss not yours you can't make them all like you - move on and only dwell on those that do like you.
I now know at 50 that dancing in your dining room spontaniously with your partner is some of the best things in life.
But I still hate being 50......no matter what Queen Oprah says!
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